Anon is a sleepcel seething over a birdchad | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

AI T #1, No. 73565963 6/4/23 10:58:52 PM sad looie PNG 790x624 813.7 kB >be me >just got back from vacation >work tomorrow Monaday morning >exhausted >go to sleep >bird singing wakes me up >birds normally start singing between 4 and 6 in the morning >OH S--- AMI LATE >DID I OVER SLEEP? >look at clock >not even midnight >bird is singing at incorrect time I panicked over a bird having autism >want to shoot bird from tree >can't because I live in suburbs #2, No. 73566142 6/4/23 11:28:31 PM tumblr_pjfyw0YeD21 ujlc7oo1_1280 PNG 1224x1632 2.6 MB >be me >be bird >nervous about singing ability because autism >practice at midnight when everybody's asleep to conquer shyness >schizo human yells at me for waking him up I just wanted to practice my singing for the ladies >s--- on his car tomorrow as a surprise before work

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon made it | /r/Greentext

>be an autistic incel >start visiting prostitutes >after the tenth or so visit I have become completely comfortable being around women, flirting with them and being touched by them (which used to freak me out) >end up finding a gf Why are prostitutes bad again?

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Anon misses the early 2000s | /r/Greentext

File: Owen-Wilson-Reveals-What-(...).jpg (2.98 MB, 1659x2000) □ Anonymous 06/05/23(Mon)08:44:07 No.185973798 [Reply] ► >watching 2000s comedy >broke slacker character constantly sleeps with beautiful women I miss this archetype

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Anon´s name is Sh*niqua | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/03/23(Sat)20:10:24 No.73551532 ✓ >>73551541 >>73551619 >>73551653 >>73551707 >>73551826 >>73552061 >>73552289 1 8 >>73551521 (OP) i'm not telling you my name, f-----. lol but it is a good name. probably the best name too. i should start asking people to guess my name, because i don't think i look like my name, thoughever 8 Anonymous 06/03/23(Sat)20:11:48 No.73551541 >>73551576 >>73551849 >>73551532 Shut up, Shaniqua. Anonymous Anonymous 06/03/23(Sat)20:18:56 No.73551619 ✓ >>73551626 >>73551849 Anonymous 8 Anonymous 06/03/23(Sat)20:22:24 No.73551653 ✓ >>73551666 >>73551849 >>73551532 Nobody f------ cares shaniqua >>73551532 kill yourself shaniqua we're sick to death of you Anonymous Anonymous 06/03/23(Sat)20:29:13 No.73551707 >>73551532 Lol is your name really shaniqua? That is so god damn ugly. You are so f------ ugly >73551820 >>73551849 Anonymous Anonymous 06/03/23(Sat)20:44:35 No.73551826 >>73551849 >>73551532 ooooh, I wanna guess your name. Is it Shaniqua?

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Anon feels a watery sensation up his butt | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)18:41:17 No. 182809413 [Reply] ► >>182811226 >>182810733 >installed a toilet bidet >hooks up straight to the pipeage >drop my pants >test it out even though i dont need to poo >try out first level >"hmm ok" >turn the pressure up by one >"hey this is pretty good" >switch it to max setting >penetrates my a------ >watery s--- comes out for the next 10 seconds non stop >am still butt hurt two hours after >can feel my a------ not puckering >feel like i could s--- myself even at the slightest of farts w-- /int/ told me these things were good for you? Showing all replies

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Anon has a unhealthy relationship with alcohol | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What is your relationship with (...) 24 KB JPG 06/05/23 (Mon) 07:39:30 No.73565837 >Be me >Semi-alcoholic >Contract a stomach flu (viral gastroenteritis) >Diarrhea, cramps, headache and light headedness >Decide to get drunk on beer anyway >Start drinking at normal pace >Have to poop real bad >Poop out liquid poop >Discover my body is expelling liquid from binge drinking beer through diarrhea instead of urinating a lot like normal >A------ become irritated from pooping and wiping like 10 times I'm thinking this isn't a healthy relationship.

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 100 KB PNG >Kiss her. >She aggressively pulls me in and kisses me, we make out for about a minute. >She sits there in silence. >Says "That was really unpleasant, can you just take me home?" >Fall for a girl. >Go on a date with her. Dude what the f---? : Anonymous 09/24/21 (Fri)08:25:37 No.863709057 >Drink a six pack, sitting on my car. >She takes off her glasses and tells me to kiss her. 5 Replies / 2 Images 9 KB PNG View Thread 09/24/21(Fri)08:44:37 No.863709798 >>863709057 (OP) #

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Anon,is it really your fault? | /r/Greentext

File: SoyjakPointing.png (82 KB, 760x792) Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)07:47:26 No.73555447 >>73555450 >>73555475 >>73555513 >>73555599 >>73555795 >>73555854 >>73555931 >>73556092 >>73556227 >>73556318 >>73556694 >>73557064 >>73557829 >Everything wrong with your life is YOUR FAULT!!! True or false? >> Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)07:48:18 No.73555450▶ >>73556168 >>73556613 >>73555447 (OP) True. We can choose how to react to the circumstances we find ourselves in tomado occurred >> Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)07:51:21 No.73555475 ► >>73555447 (OP) You need two to tango. Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)09:28:01 No.73556091 File: 1671447330373779.png (101 KB, 640x640) >walking to work >get rained on >it's my fault that it rained Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)09:39:01 No.73556194 File: 1392867862220.png (10 KB, 500x500) Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)09:44:58 No.73556244 File: 1398239465380.jpg (23 KB, 446x362) >be driving home from work >car in front of me hits a pothole and loses control of vehicle >swerve out of the way but hit the guard rail >it's my fault the pothole was there O Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)09:34:27 No.73556153 File: 753219496.png (20 KB, 638x547) >be watching TV >random tornado comes out of nowhere >wrecks home, leaving it demolished >it's my fault the >be driving >sudden sinkhole >car gets caught in it >it's my fault the sinkhole appeared O Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)09:35:50 No.73556165 File: 1385902817792.png (12 KB, 400x400) >be stargazing >satellite falls from sky >it hits my home and kills entire family >it is my fault the satellite fell from the sky formed Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)09:42:56 No.73556223 File: 1398233503906.jpg (6 KB, 250x197) >be sitting him >sudden lightning storm develops without waming >lightning bolt hits the house and sets it on fire >it's all my fault the storm FU Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)09:41:14 No.73556215 >be sitting on my day off from work >undiscovered meteor lands in the middle of the ocean >creates a tsunami that will swallow most of the coast >it's my fault the meteor hit the planey Anonymous 06/04/23(Sun)12:48:34 No.73558243 File: 31ruA1PYZ9L.jpg (15 KB, 368x500) >Be minding business at home on March 30,2017. >Basically has no idea about Club Penguin. >Club Penguin is kill. >It's my fault that Club Penguin shut down.

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Femanon has a Reddit moderator boyfriend | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.08 MB PNG 06/05/23 (Mon)10:44:14 No.73566850 > be me > femanon living with a neckbeard bf > my bf wont ever leave the house > never wants to be public with me > sits all day on his computer > Ask him whats so important > Im working all day long give me break femanon > he is a Reddit moderator and calls it work > we are currently running out of money and this has a toll on my mental health > I write my feelings down and send it to him, maybe he will understand. > left on read Am I cursed? It has gone 4 hours since he left me on read.

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Anon seems to have morals?.. | /r/Greentext

>17 year old little sister and her cute friend are having a weekend long sleepover >Little sister gone out to buy some stuff, her friend's sleeping >I could easily r--- her friend at any moment but I'm not it's so hard bros why am i such a moralfag 139 KB JPG : Anonymous >parents out for a week on vacation 90 KB JPG 06/10/19(Mon)21:55:24 No.52849926 >>52849891 (OP) # why don't you just try flirting instead

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Anon have to guess the gender | /r/Greentext

>meet girl on website >she tells me how she isnt a girl >uh are you a trans or something? >no, im not a boy either >what are you then? 37 KB JPG >im not telling, you have to guess >mentally ill? >she instantly blocks me Felt good man. >>17578488 # >>17578540 # >>17578603 # >>17578622 # >>17578670 #

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 32 KB JPG 04/23/21(Fri)03:17:05 No.63340724 >be me >decide to do a little trolling >register in a gay forum >ask for a hookup >a f-- sends me a message asking for my address >i give him the address of a random girl from my class >other f-- forum, other attempt >I ask for a hookup again >someone answers me, we chat a bit and we agree to meet >I tell him Im under 18 >he says he doesnt care and that I shouldnt tell anyone >we meet >Me and a friend already wait for him and beat the f--- out of this f-- >next f-- >send him to another city 200km away >after a few hours I get an angry message that hes been standing in front of the address I gave him for hours and nobodys letting him inside, calls me a coward, too shy to meet up and a "keyboard wanker"

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Anon learning to skate | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 28 KB JPEG 04/06/2023, 21:47:49 No.94371069 > be me > at the skatepark > practising my popshuv its > some pros roll up > casually lands kickflip back smith first try > i try to give a fist bump > guy doesn't realize > i land one popshuv after some failures > leave the park

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