The pretender, Anon | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

> Be me > Absolute f------ loser > Go to gas station to get le slurpee one day > Notice cashier and his friend are laughing at me > Decide to f--- with them > Pick up pack of trojans and slap them on the counter with my drink > Their faces >Walk out feeling smug > Realize now I have to always be chad infront of them > Throw condoms in the trash outside I waste so much more money just to get my slurpees now because I always have to pick up condoms each time i go in there

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is outside | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 58 KB JPG What now? 06/01/23(Thu)02:58:50 No.73519051 >"just go outside bro" >go outside >nobody there except old people and people who already have friends and romantic partners and aren't interested in new ones

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Annon finds green text community nice | /r/Greentext

6:17 31 Board /b/ - Random boards.4chan.org/b/thi (ho ( : Anonymous Posting on green text 364 KB JPG [Advertise on 4chan] ||| >Reply to comments >Have great time 05/31/23 (Wed)18:17:29 No.900183535 ll 29% € Settings Mobile Home 5 : >be me aged 15 >Browsing green text.jpg >Decides to post >Writes about origami >. Post.wav >Post receives flood of updoots and comments > Happy.png Post a Reply r/green text is a nice community thx for the support Return Catalog Top <유

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Accept your state mandated mommy gf | /r/Greentext

Women In Their 30s Will Treat You Right vy P Women In Their 30s Will Treat (...) Trad West @trad_west 1d Yes. Show this thread YOU WOULD REALLY WORK 2 JOBS SO I CAN SPEND MY TIME KEEPING OUR HOUSE BEAUTIFUL AND RAISING THE KIDS? YES. 885 KB JPG 06/01/23(Thu)03:30:47 No.429000983 >Be me >26 yrs old >5'11" >Lean and muscular from gymceling >Full hair, no balding, and blue eyes >Engineer making 6 figs >Car paid off >Nice home >No debt (besides mortgage) >6.0in X 5.5in c--- (circumcised unfortunately) Here's my experience with women of different ages groups for the young anons. Girls 18-24: >I'm too young for girls with daddy issues >Mostly uninterested >just some average dude >Plus Chad on Tinder is 6'4" with a boat >Sometimes get with them, but have to deal with the hassle of a girl with 1,000 options and wants to try every c--- Girls 25-28: >Much more receptive >Lots of s--- tests, but get clingy once they find out you're not a loser bum >Interested, but not particularly wowed by you and see you as a peer >Last hoorah to get someone decent before they completely give up their standards Girls 29+: >Desperate beyond sanity >Will go feral when they find out you're not an obese manlet with AIDs and you have a job >Will let you stick it in their mouth, then their butt, and then back in their mouth before the first date >Prepare to get endless voicemails if you break up with them >Will convince their friends to have o----- with you just to keep you from leaving So there you go gentlemen. If you don't want marriage/kids in clownworld like me, just date women in their early 30s and live out all your fantasies.

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average nonreformation justice system | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I AM THE VILLAIN AND THIS IS MY TRAGIC BACKSTORY. I'M BULLIED AND MISUNDERSTOOD NO ONE WILL BE FRIENDS WITH ME. 07/25/21 (Sun)04:20:18 No.64704293 NOT SO FAST!! WE WILL DEFEAT YOU WITH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP K WHICH YOU DON'T HAVE! Fell HA HA!! NOW HAVE POWERS AND WILL EXACT REVENGE!! The initial problem which caused this issue is never addressed. AlexIAW 20210725_041632.jpg 73 KB JPG >maybe if you weren't so bitter people would like you more

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Anon caught the Gaze of a Mysterious Woman | /r/Greentext

APOLLO BAND ARNET COBB BROWNSKIN CHORUS-FRED GORDON SID CATLET BAND RS 4:24 AR Mysterious Eye Contact: A Brief Encounter at the Movies Anonymous 05/31/23(Wed)22:10:17 No.900191395 >Hey /b/ros, let me tell you about this wild encounter I had today. So, I was strolling towards the movie theater, all hyped up to catch the latest flick. As I'm strutting my stuff, I notice this fine-ass woman giving me the eyes. You know that feeling when you can sense someone's gaze burning into your soul? Yeah, it was like that. Now, let me paint you a picture of this chick. She had flowing locks of luscious hair that cascaded down her shoulders, a pair of mesmerizing eyes that could make you forget your own name, and a body that could make a saint reconsider their life choices. Damn, she was smoking hot! But here's the kicker, /b/ros: I couldn't figure out if she was checking me out or if I had some nacho cheese residue on my face that she found amusing. I mean, who knows what goes on in the minds of women, am I right? So, being the curious soul that I am, I made a bold move. As I passed her, I gave her a cheeky grin and a subtle nod, trying to gauge her reaction. She responded with a quick flicker of a smile and a coy look, leaving me in utter confusion. Was that a sign, or was it just a random act of kindness? I couldn't help but wonder. But, alas, my fellow anonymous adventurers, I'll probably never know what that interaction truly meant. It's just one of those fleeting moments that leaves you questioning the mysteries of life. Maybe she was just being friendly, or perhaps I missed my chance at something incredible. Anyway, I'm off to drown my confusion in some tendies and Mountain Dew. Share your own tales of ambiguous encounters, /b/ros. Let's revel in the enigma that is the opposite sex and the chaos it brings to our lives. Stay based, stay anon.

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Anon has a crush | /r/Greentext

File: 0a2d157d97e93cfe5229fab48(...).jpg (61 KB, 793x786) Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)15:01:35 No.878076304 >>878076342 >>878076436 >>878078208 >>878078713 >>878080105 >>878081141 >>878083056 Feels thread. I f----- up bad. I need to know I'm not alone right now. Thread theme https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwgKmIBNt4Y [Embed] >> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)15:02:21 No.878076342 ► >> Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)15:03:30 No.878076426 ► >>> Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)15:03:40 No.878076436 ► >> Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri) 15:11:34 No.878076836 >>878076937 >>878076979 >>878077130 >>878077288 >>878077512 >>878077540 >>878080105 >>878080162 >>878083182 >>878083385 >>878083469 >>878083533 >>878083564 File: 00c560958c2db19d268adf933(...).jpg (47 KB, 548x389) DUDE WHAT >>878076836 You can't make this s--- up >we had been flirting on and off for months by this point I figured it was a sure thing Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)17:29:13 No.878084359 ► File: Elpym 4W4AEq9Sx.jpg (57 KB, 693x960) >I ask her why not >"I'm not into bigger guys. No offense but I feel like you could crush me if you wanted to" >"No I couldnt" Anonymous 05/13/22(Fri)15:13:24 No.878076937 ► >>878077144 >>878076836 i dont even know how to process that >>878076342 >be me >Yes you could >My autism kicks in and I decide to prove that I wasnt that big >I push her on the ground (playfully) and kind of lay on her (keep in mind we were both clothed in our work uniforms by this point) >Apparently she really couldnt breath and she starts screaming and yelling for help. >Autistic as f--- Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)15:14:17 No.878076979 >>878077144 File: yikes pepe.gif (1.34 MB, 568x396) >>878076836 >have crush on cute coworker at my birger flipping job >we're both close to the same age, only a few years difference between us (i'm 26 and she's 17) >finally work up the courage to tell her how I feel since I'm going home from uni next week >"Anon, you're okay but I'm not interested" I just spread out over her more >Boss and several coworkers come over and tell me to get off of her but because of the commotion it didn't register what they were saying >finally get off when my boss kicks my ribcage Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)15:16:47 No.878077130 ► >>878078436 File: aBOVIYZW_700w 0.jpg (38 KB, 669x670) >my coworker is struggling to breathe and says that I "collapsed her lungs" whatever that means. >boss sent me home early but took me off the schedule for the rest of the week and I know the girl talked to a police officer later that night How screwed am I b/ros? It was an honest mistake. I'm a diagnosed autistic, could that help lessen my charges? I genuinely thought she was into me and was just playing around. 14 TO Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)17:07:31 No.878083182 File: 1648443793113.jpg (174 KB, 570x424) LIVE TUCKER REACTION Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)16:53:18 No.878082389>>878082439 >>878082616 >>878083665 >>878083778 can someone screencap this thread >>878076836 Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)16:54:20 No.878082439 >>878082616 >>878082389 put me in the screencap >>878076836 > This n---- f------ crushed a bitch That's retarded. I'm laughing, very hard, at the thought of you just randomly f------ laying on top of someone and squishing them for no reason, but it's also really f------ stupid. And not how people act. My brother was on the spectrum, I've known other people that were, and they never did stuff like that. Live & learn and don't go full retard again. Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri)16:34:35 No.878081409>>878081571 >>878081696 >>878081974 >>878081982 >>878082066 >>878083253 File: 0ae69e588416a106a7c848f5a(...).jpg (21 KB, 400x388) Guys, I'm really stressed about this after what you're all saying. There's no way I actually go to prison for this, right? I've already peed like ten times in the past hour. I should've never made this stupid thread I figured someone had been in a similar situation and could offer some condolences, but I feel worse now than when I started. >I know I f----- up >I know what I did was wrong >I don't think I'm a monster and it was an honest mistake If you don't have anything nice to say don't say it. Anonymous 05/13/22 (Fri) 16:53:49 No.878082410 >>878082577 >>878083193 File: 00e4c3ca016fc495eeff1de85(...).jpg (60 KB, 999x827) >>878082066 I'm going now. I'm going to play some Payday 2 and drink myself to sleep tonight. I genuinely didn't think what I did was that bad... Autism Is A Hell Of A Drug Calm Down op you'll survive but hot damn dude think before you act

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Anon went to a baseball game and got hit in the face by a foul ball. | /r/Greentext

File: sad_pepeapu spills_his_te(...).jpg (6 KB, 226x300) Anonymous 05/31/23(Wed)14:35:16 No.73516188 >went to a baseball game >got hit in the face with a foul ball Anonymous 05/31/23(Wed)14:37:04 No.73516203 File: Rage face from rage comic(...).png (37 KB, 368x380) Hope your face feels better bro.

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Anon is Bobby Fischer | /r/Greentext

File: 37CE7308-F1C5-447E-86FF-8(...).png (187 KB, 500x500) Magic The Gathering players hahaha this person retweeted a alt right account noooo0000000 Chess players Bobby Fischer wanted to gas the jews I know O Anonymous 05/15/23 (Mon)00:14:35 No.899247298 >be me >Playing chess >(I am very bad, only 500-800 elo, haven't checked in a while.) >accidentally blunder my queen >rage.soy >nothing to release my anger upon >quietly mutter under my breath "I hope you blunder your family in a car accident"

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Anon has a friend | /r/Greentext

File: Hazelnut 600x.jpg (32 KB, 600x600) Anonymous 01/05/21 (Tue)09:29:04 No.9345083 >What if your friend's name was Zul Nut >Every time you saw him, you'd be like "Hey, Zul Nut!" pic related

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anon drives | /r/Greentext

06/01/23(Thu)00:54:49 No.73516087 Anonymous >>73515611 (OP) # f------ p---- ass bitch they probably honked cus you suck at driving. retard. >WAAAH IM LEARNING TO DRIVE f------ troglodyte. how do you "learn" how to drive? you f------ use the wheel to turn and the pedal to go or to stop. you need to know how to match the number on the sign to the number inside your car. then, you need to know the meaning of three. yes, three. three whole colors. its quite literally the easiest thing to do in the world. when I was 7 I would borrow my moms car to buy her cigarettes all the time. Not a problem. I just had a note she had written saying "this is anon, he's buying my cigarettes" and 5 dollars. I could even use the change to buy candy if I wanted, but I'm smart so I saved it all, and then would treat my mom to expensive chocolate every now and then (and also yu gi oh cards for myself)

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Anon is a romantic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 296 KB JPG I would absolutely obliterate you. I would not stop f------ your sweet little p---- until you were begging me to c--, not because it hurt but because the feeling of my thick, hard shaft smashing your p---- walls and juggling your organs over and over would feel unlike anything youve ever experienced before. Then, and only then, would I berry my nut deep into your little p----. I don't care how much birth control you are on, I would coat your entire uterus with my semen and you would bear my child. And for the following 9 months, I would continue to coat your uterus with load after load from my thick, throbbing c---, even on the day you gave birth. The child would come out like he was sliding down a slip and slide. I would give you one (1) month time to recover. And then it would be back to me slamming my shaft into your tight little p---- over and over and over again until we had an army of children >>71127338 # >>71127415 # : Anonymous 54 KB JPG 05/30/23(Tue)20:03:25 No.71127330 >>71126890 (OP) # Listen sweet pea, as you can tell by my picture I'm one of the most jacked guys on this board and definitely the best looking when you pair face + body >>71127366 # 05/30/23(Tue)20:04:31 No.71127338 >>71127330 # >berry About what I would expect honestly.

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Anon has fast reflexes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/18/15(Sat)23:09:36 No.31975967 >>31976041 >>31976118 >>31976313 >>31976389 >usually buy my weekly groceries at the same store >there's this maybe 7-8/10, not perfect but cute cashier >she's always smiling at me and making small talk and s--- >finally realize she's not just being nice >she's mirin hard >gather all my courage and go to store again >buy my usual stuff and pick her line >she offers me the receipt >"how about you write your number on it?" >she blushes bright red, writes down a number >i smile and say i'll call her >I'm so euphoric i'm not thinking right >I don't usually hold on to receipts >i glance at the receipt, crumple it and toss it in the trash bin by the door in full view of her >panic and just walk out DEVILISH

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