Anon gets played | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Frederick A Allen Bless Ya Food Before You Eat- #Amen 134 KB JPG >be me (18f) >meet tall skinny emo boy on tinder (22m) >exchange snapchats >we talk and plan to meet >he picks me up at 1030 pm that night >we go to the park and talk in his car for an hour and a half >we realize we unknowingly met before at a house show 2 weeks prior >he decided to call it a night and drops me off to stay w my friend >she tells me send thirst trap >i do it >4 hours later of snapping he asks to pick me up at 430 am >i do it >we go to empty parking lot and we talk for a bit >he asks if i have ever gave head >i say no because i have not >he says he will teach me >after all is done he spends an hour showing me his soundcloud music >we go to the park by my house where we originally were the night before >we talk more about people we mutually know >i say its time for me to go home before my dad gets back >he asks for a "favor" >its 7 in the morning broad daylight and people around >i dont like saying no because i dont like hurting feelings >i do it >he takes me home >im retarded and say "PLEASE DONT GHOST ME" >he fist bumps me and drives off >walk of shame to my room >i text him when i get to my room >no reply >i stalk his snapmap and hes active but no reply >i got home at 745 am and it is now almost 10pm >i found his other social medias and the address he is currently at and i have been scream crying because i know i got played hard

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon attracts creeps | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 17 05/29/23 (Mon)05:52:57 No.73487851 174 KB PNG >be me >girl who is not obese >into fgc (mostly street fighter) >go to anime convention >notices guy in crowd, super muscular in vega cosplay >asks for a picture >sees a Q cosplay in the crowd >we all chat over street fighter >happy >vega goes in for a hug >too scared to say no >he's covered in coconut oil >calls me a cute girl multiple times >goes in for another hug, this time saying to the other guy that i smell nice >walks away quickly are all gamefags like this or do i only attract creeps and losers

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Anon makes a friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/27/23 (Sat)21:54:32 No.29024940 File: u108ua8m38q51.png (105 KB, 520x579) >meet a guy in local indoor sports complex >we decide to train together for weeks and get along well >finally happy to have a male friend who is so smart, positive and open minded >all of a sudden he starts sending me unsubtle gay s--- God damn it.

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and that's terrible | /r/Greentext

File: Esquadr%C3%A3o-Suicida-Am(...).png (787 KB, 1536x863) Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)19:25:16 No.137436325 [Reply] ► I don't understand how such a disciplined person could be so fat. 4 replies and 2 images omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)19:31:12 No.137436380 File: 4990042-3341973915-cm-ca.png (264 KB, 588x425) >>137436400 >>137436411 >>137436444 >>137436485 >>137436366 see you like your women the way Lex Luthor likes his cakes: chocolate and over forty.

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That's a bad therapist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous HOW TO DEAL WITH DEPRESSION STEP ONE... memegenerator.net 10 KB JPG 03/31/21 (Wed)17:49:25 No.63001012 >go to therapy >therapist says i'll never be happy unless i "get my life together" >get a job >8 hours a day of free exercise >use money to order meal kits to eat healthy >start taking vitamins >lose some weight >save up enough to move out of my parents >have my own room in a place with decent roommates >still depressed >still have panic attacks >just busy 8 hours a day now

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anon tries to get a job | /r/Greentext

File: Screenshot 2023-05-28 184929.png (73 KB, 713x951) Lesson 02 Protected Classes Sex Discrimination Sex Discrimination Sex Discrimination Genetic Information Genetic Information Religious Discrimination Religious Discrimination Religious Discrimination Race and Color Discrimination National Origin Discrimination National Origin Discrimination Human Trafficking Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)18:53:55 No.900038087 >be me >trying to get a job >this is part of the training ah s--- lads i dont think i can do it

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Anon is hungry | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: J7gu9Z2M E 05/28/23(Sun)23:03:46 No.428658737 chinese_aircraft_carrier_@31.34153145,121.75374769,3.81027461a,594.5 Anonymous (ID: YHHT3D79 china's new aircraft carrier the "Fujian", notice anything? 116 Replies / 25 Images 331 KB JPG FE View Thread 05/29/23 (Mon)01:00:52 No.428669406 >>428667592 # Yeah sure chang is my f------ lo mein ready?

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Help me find a greentext please. It's chad watching the ring/ringu and when she comes out of the tv he's like "i think she wants to suck my dick bro" | /r/Greentext

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Anon gets shitfaced drunk | /r/Greentext

>>185600157 # >get insanely drunk with roommate during COVID lockdown >first time drinking in months >get blind drunk >have good time >go to bed >wake up in cold sweat 2 hours later >still blind drunk >have to s--- >waddle over to favorite armchair >rip boxers off with tard-strength >tore them completely asunder and threw them at wall >squat over favorite armchair >squeeze out a humongous log of a s--- right on my favorite chair >like a savage f------ animal >realize what I am doing just as it is leaving my ass >look down to assess damage >grab face mask from desk and use it to grab poop >throw poop out in trash >wake up next morning >faint smell of s--- in room >remember the deed >feel ashamed but too hungover to really care >have to go to supermarket to get breakfast >grab my bag and keys and things >arrive at supermarket >shop >some store clerk tells me to put on my mask >grab it from my pocket and put it on automatically >realize too late >l accidentally brought the same mask I used to grab the poop with in my hungover state >I didn't throw it out with the poop but put it back on my desk >why.png >vomit violently in mask >face is covered in both s--- and vomit >get some ham and sliced cheese to make french toast WHAT A LIFE

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Anon gets in the car with a stranger | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)15:00:09 No.34886517 ► >>34886528 File: Screenshot_20230528_16561(...).jpg (761 KB, 1079x2265) (1/3) This is far from the creepiest story itt but it still trips me up. Never greentexted before so sorry in advance if I break convention. I've never typed out this story in full so I'll try to keep it detailed >tldr hallucinated an imaginary good sumaritan bro who drove me and my friend home after a concert for free >be me, september 3rd of last year >me and my buddy, A, got tickets to see carpenter brut in baltimore >we live about 5 hours south so we book a hotel to stay at after the show >wagies so the only hotel we can afford is about 40 minutes from the venue in downtown That's all the groundwork for the story. We made it down fine (even though there was a really heavy rain), get to the hotel and crash for an hour or two before we decide to go downtown. >my friend A doesn't want to drive anymore after 5 hours in the car so we decide to take an Uber downtown >make it downtown fine, get some good pizza and hop in line for the show. Doors opening in a little over an hour maybe so we're first in line >as the line fills up we notice more and more people dressed up >lots of black jeans, leather vests, and boots >start talking to this dude behind us about the show, music, and baltimore because he was a local >tells us his name is Will, probably mid-20s >black leather jacket, black leather pants, gloves, facepaint >super cool guy, i'm usually pretty introverted but we spend the hour talking about a bunch of stuff >probably feel comfortable around him because he's like a foot shorter than me >my friend A spends his time on his phone, tells me he's just tired from driving so much earlier >eventually doors open up and we all fill inside >me and A go to the merch stand, Will goes to the stage and we get seperated >don't see Will again for the whole show Cue 2 hours of (sober) moshing to french hardcore synthwave >concert ends, me and A are covered in sweat and leave the venue. Its about midnight now Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)15:01:33 No.34886528 ► >>34886534 File: Screenshot_20230528_16555(...).jpg (699 KB, 1080x2266) >>34886517 (2/3) >we're both tired and don't really want to go anywehre else so we decide to try to call an Uber again >A's phone is not working, keeps getting connection errors, payment errors, everytime he tries to use the app >try mine and get the same thing >ohshit.gif >figure that the app was probably overloaded because so many people were trying to use it at once so we decide to walk a few blocks down the street and try again >walk around 20 minutes and try >Error >walk another 20 minutes >Error >look around and realize that we've walked outside of the gentrified lit up downtown baltimore and now we're in the real downtown baltimore >say f--- it and try to walk back to the venue thinking maybe one of the staff can help us get a taxi >walk for about five minutes before we notice a person in all black coming towards us from the opposite direction >short dude >recognize that it's Will from earlier >I explain our situation to him >"I know this is weird but our phone's aren't working. Could you call us an Uber and I can send you some money to cover the cost?" >dude agrees >pulls up the app on his phone and sees that it would cost us like $60 for a ride back to the hotel >"Nah man you shouldn't have to pay that much. My car's parked in that parking garage over there. Your hotel is on my way, I'll give you a ride back." >start getting a little creeped out, me and A look at each other but Will seems like a nice guy and we don't have any other option so we agree >follow this dude who we never met back to his car through the sketchiest parkaing garage i've ever neen in >neither of us know the area so the whole time we're just texting each other shitless >i even share my location with my mother just in case >eventually though, we get back to the hotel, Will explains that he took a back way to avoid the busy downtown traffic >i try to give him a $20 bill but he refused and said it was no problem >we go inside a little creeped out but glad to be at the hotel and crash ☐ Anonymous 05/28/23(Sun)15:02:36 No.34886534 ► >>34886584 File: 20230528_154827.jpg (1.27 MB, 2246x4000) >>34886528 (3/3) This is where the weird part came in >next morning wake up in the hotel >say to A "man, that was sketchy last night, wasn't it?" >"what do you mean?" >"taking that ride from that Will guy last night" >my friend looks at me like i'm retarded and asks w-- i'm talking about >tells me that we didn't meet anyone named Will last night >says that I was talking to someone in line but it was just a few words with a normal guy and i never asked his name >I ask A how we got back to the hotel last night >"we um.. we..." >A says he doesn't remember coming home, he just figured he was tired and i called another uber or something >neither one of us has any idea what really happened that night Did we get r---- or was this paranormal? picrel is a minidisk that "Will" gave me in his car before we left. He said he didn't have a player so it was useless for him. At some point I must've misplaced it because I couldn't find it the next morning.

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Anon needs to think consequences | /r/Greentext

Anonymous LT 05/28/23(Sun)18:59:32 No.7348119: 23 KB JPG >try to get a prostate orgasm after many trials >doing the act with a dildo >feel a strange warm tingling sensation i've never felt in past tries >continue >midway trought moans, precum leaks and panting i feel like taking dildo out for release >as i quickly take it out i manage to spurt a little of c-- and instantly relax my entire body >my relax is followed up by a solid rancid strand of s---, lube and water from earlier enema >as i barely recovered from said relax, i can already smell the s--- aroma >look back and see white wall with watery-brown stains >s--- stain is sliding down the wall into the baseboard >take up to 2 hours of cleaning entire area with bleach to get rid of smell >sit down on my chair and reflect upon my life's choices

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Men these days | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Why are men these days so un-p(...) 99 KB JPG 05/28/23(Sun)16:30:38 No.73479911 >Be me >Out on a walk with my BF >We're going steady and I think I might want to marry him >Notice just one little thing >He's not on the car side of the sidewalk >Start feeling nervous, unsafe >"Alright Nona if you're gonna marry this guy you'd better be sure he's for real" >Think up a way to test him >Get an idea >Run out into the traffic as fast as I can, looking backward to see his reaction >Not only does he not immediately react and dart after me to grab be, he actually just stands there and says "Nona what the f--- are you doing!?" >Car comes to a screeching halt, the car behind that car rear ends it >Like a full three seconds later, the scrote walks after me (walks, doesn't run!) >Starts berating me about embarrassing him in public >Walks over to the guy who almost hit me, apologizes profusely, saying "I don't know what got into her." >Offers to pay for the damage >After he's through with kissing my attacker's ass he tells me I need to see a psychiatrist or else the relationship is over Moids, explain yourselves.

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Anon is working night shift | /r/Greentext

Hey /b/ I work at a suicide prevention hotline based in the Midwest. Ask me anything while I tell you stories. Let's start with a nice one: 25 KB JPG >Be me, just getting off call with a girl who wanted to kill herself over some guy leaving >Logging the notes of the call while microwaving a soft pretzel >F--- me those pretzels are good >Phone on desk starts to ring >Rush back and pick it up >An old raspy sounding man starts talking >Ask me "Do you got time for a story" >Have to respond yes >Think he is going to tell me a depressing war story, or his entire life story >Old people do that a lot >Guy responds "You ever heard of animal farm" >I'm a f------ retard >think he's talking about a literal farm, they are everywhere here >I ask him to clarify >"You know the book" >Nope.communism >"Oh perfect" >The old man starts reading me animal farm >He does different voices for all the characters I had to ask him to call back later after about 20 minutes, we were getting more calls. Old man, if you are out there somewhere thanks for the best f------ night shift I ever had.

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