Anon is a fakecel | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous (ID: cbxhqtro) You will never be a real incel(...) 155 KB PNG 05/25/23(Thu)16:20:59 No.428320669 You have no autism, you have no negative canthal tilt, you have no deep seated emotional resentment. You are a well- adjusted man twisted by irony and memes into a crude mockery of a stone cold virgin. All the "rejection" you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back girls love you. Your parents are proud and happy for you, "Stacies" swoon over your masculine appearance behind closed doors. Women are utterly smitten with you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed women to sniff out chads with incredible efficiency. Even incels who "pass" look strong and charismatic to a woman. Your deep voice and good sense of humor are a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to earn a little online incel clout, you'll get cancelled the second your DMs get leaked and everybody gets a glimpse of the e-girls thirsting over you. You will never be depressed. You wrench out a fake "tfw no gf" every single morning and tell yourself it's going to be miserable, but deep inside you feel the happiness creeping up like a weed, ready to bless you with unshakeable confidence. Eventually it'll be too much to bear - you'll find a girlfriend, marry her, knock her up, and have seven healthy kids together. Your parents will praise you, happy but a little bit sentimental now that their little boy has finally grown up. They'll spoil the kids with candies and toys, and every acquaintance for the rest of your life will know that you're a fakecel. Eventually you will pass on surrounded by your loved ones. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a family that misses you dearly. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon has finally made it. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 52353826 1,5 MB JPG >have cute cardiobunny neighbour >she asks me if we can go running together >women running outside have been r---- and killed in our city, so she wants to take me with her for protection >we have been doing this once a week for a year, getting take out food afterwards Have I made it, /fit/? 34 REPLIES 63 IMAGES 21 REPLIES Anonymous | 52353835 leri why haven't you r---- and killed her yet? REPLY leri ...

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Anon turned a girl lesbian | /r/Greentext

Anonymous [Report] 2015-01-19 14:27:18 Post No.593621158 >23 years old >sick of being virgin >go on dating site, send messages to literally every single girl within 25 miles of me. >at least 500 messages sent >2-3 fat/ugly chicks actually get back to me >pick one out that's closest to me (and not black) >end up going out with her a few times, meet her friends >her friends are actually chill as f--- and I wouldn't mind being a part of their group >spend about a month making out/oral sex >after about 2 months we talk, she feels we're getting serious enough that she wants to have sex >she's a virgin, I lied and said I wasn't >Have super awkward sex, last about 30 seconds before I c-- >leave, never speak to her again. >Looked her up on facebook recently and she's now engaged to a girl hotter than my current girlfriend tl;dr I was a fat lesbian's one bad experience that she probably refers to when talking about how she first knew she was gay Anonymous [Report] 2015-01-19 14:29:01 Post No.593621412 >>593621158 So bad at f------ you literally turned a women gay. Nice.

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Anon grandma is a conspirator | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/26/18(Mon)13:38:54 No.4362112 27 KB JPG My grandpa is a Rwandan genocide denier. I have no idea why. We live in Wales, have no connection to Rwanda and he isn't a conspiracy kind of guy in general. He has never been to Rwanda or met a Rwandan yet in his house he has pages of documents 'proving the hoax', such as a full script for the movie Hotel Rwanda with a bunch of random letters from the words highlighted showing 'the secret messages' from the director. He says that Paul Kagame doesn't exist and that 'every picture of bodies 'is clearly in Burundi' and has huge printouts of aerial photographs of Burundi to prove it. Not sure what he has against Rwanda but if you bring it up to him he calls you a 'Tutsi liar'.

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MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM | /r/Greentext

62KiB, 600x600, vvn14e20sg1z.jpg Anonymous Sun 21 May 2023 15:55:10 No.899635009 Quoted By: >>899635324 >>899635328 >>899635413 >>899636424 >be me >17 >Really f------ love microwaves >Have been getting microwaves from the dumpster since I was 13 >The transformer and magnetron are the best pieces of engineering ever made by the mankind >I hope I can work in the microwave industry >The moment weebs invent fully working waifu robots I will shove a f------ microwave on her head and she will become my microwave waifu Anonymous Sun 21 May 2023 16:02:57 No.899635324 View >>899635009 For me? It's the sparkle and flash from a remaining bit of foil on that £1.29 Sunday roast ready meal Anonymous Sun 21 May 2023 16:03:01 No.899635328 >>899635009 >17 enjoy ur ban u stupid fagit

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Anon's cousin is a menace | /r/Greentext

What even... >Be me >At the family reunion, bored to death >Parents force me to speak to my cousin as he's got noone to talk to >Strike up a conversation with the dude 23 KB JPG >Discover we both love to play hill climb racing >Also realise the only stages/vehicles he's unlocked are the moon and the kiddie express, ask him why >Mf replies with a straight face: "I love flipping the kid rollercoaster 180 degrees in the moon stage so i can watch kids break their necks" He's 9 years old

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anon is afriad of the dark | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/18(Thu)23:53:10 No.20345356 136 KB PNG >enter dark room >is spooky >be scared

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Anon doesn't like Alan Wake 2 | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous His name is Alan Wake 2 05/25/23(Thu)11:20:00 No.638285746 IMG-20230525-WA0001.jpg 130 KB JPG >year is 2010 >game named Alan Wake released >you play as Alan Wake >story is about Alan Wake >fast forward to 2023 >Alan_Wake_2_Trailer.mp4 >SJW hijacked Remedy >you play as a female FBI agent >ofc she's black >"What's your name?" >title screen: Alan Wake 2 >his name is Alan Wake 2

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Anon is a terrorist | /r/Greentext

File: DALL-E 2023-03-18 12.11.4(...).png (1.54 MB, 1024x1024) O Anonymous 05/25/23(Thu)10:27:41 No.73445505 ▶ >be me >Chem Science Major >have friend in Engineering >Only one week left until graduation, want to do a prank (Think highschool senior prank) >together construct a device that when activated will release a chemical mixture that smells like a fart from the a------ of Satan himself >Leave device on Math professors desk, it has a big red button on the top that he couldn't possibly resist >Wait in our seats giggling to ourselfs >He finally comes in and see the device on his desk >Looks around the room then presses the button >Wait >Nothing happens >friend and I look at each other, we tested it multiple times, what could have went wrong? >Professor picks it up >Suddenly there's a deafening hiss for a split second >2 seconds of silence >it explodes >mfw it explodes >class is evacuated, everyone coughing as they exit the room >bomb squad called in >After the inital chaos we are called to the dean's office. >Informs us that we are both expelled and will be reported to the police >4 years of work down the drain >why does this always happen to me? >Graduation was ONE f------ week away and now it was all for nothing. >Now facing a fine/jailtime for "Bomb use/creation with terroristic intent" >What do I do I don't want to suck d--- in jail

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Anon doesn't like the kid named Finger | /r/Greentext

You and your pride and your ego! 4gt7b4023at71.png 283 KB PNG >we had a good thing, you stupid some of a bitch! We had child-murdering fring! We had a lab where fring randomly brutally murdered one of his most loyal employees for no reason! We had fring threatening to kill your infant daughter, and all it ran like CLOCKWORK! but you, you and your pride and your ego, you just had to blow it up! If you'd done your job, known your place, fring would have killed you and replaced you with Gale and I'd be FINE right now!

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anon makes a mickey mouse toy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/04/22(Fri)22:33:24 No.873821562 164070951857.jpg 172 KB JPG Alright /b/, I made my first Mickey Mouse toy, how does it look? (Yeah, it was a real rat)

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Anon saves a puppy | /r/Greentext

N i was just trying to do the right thing Anonymous 05/11/23(TH >me >retard >hot summer day.jpg >tfw its like 45c outside >walking to plaza to get a freezy >notice a lil tiny dog inside of a black toyota with the windows down >get freezy >come out 5 mins later >its still there >what the f--- >i grab a rock from the parking lot >"GET BACK EVERYONE" >i scream from my lungs >smash the drivers window open like i'm Jesus himself >thatwasclose.mov >reach in and grab the dog >when my hand enters the car to grab the dog, realize it's ice cold >mfw it was electric and the AC was on >walk away quickly

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anon posts a lust provoking image | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/25/23(Thu)09:13:31 No.638266270 >>638266701 >>638266929 >>638267495 >>638269414 >>638270068 >>638271487 Was it REALLY necessary to show Baby Peach in the Mario movie? Anonymous 05/25/23(Thu)09:18:00 No.638266604 ✓ >>638266771 >>638267006 >>638267131 >>638267158 lol wouldn't it be funny if instead of a pacifier it was my d--- instead haha Anonymous 05/25/23(Thu)09:19:23 No.638266701 >>638266771 >>638267131 >>638269414 >>638266270 (OP). >lust-provoking image ☐ Anonymous 05/25/23(Thu)09:20:19 No.638266771 ✓ >>638266929 >>638266962 >>638268986 >>638266604 >>638266701 that's a literal baby ☐ Anonymous 05/25/23(Thu)09:22:37 No.638266925 - I wish they showed 8-10 year old Peach Anonymous 05/25/23(Thu)09:22:43 No.638266929 ✓ >>638266270 (OP) >>638266771 why did they make her look like that

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