Anon is a terrorist | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: DALL-E 2023-03-18 12.11.4(...).png (1.54 MB, 1024x1024) O Anonymous 05/25/23(Thu)10:27:41 No.73445505 ▶ >be me >Chem Science Major >have friend in Engineering >Only one week left until graduation, want to do a prank (Think highschool senior prank) >together construct a device that when activated will release a chemical mixture that smells like a fart from the a------ of Satan himself >Leave device on Math professors desk, it has a big red button on the top that he couldn't possibly resist >Wait in our seats giggling to ourselfs >He finally comes in and see the device on his desk >Looks around the room then presses the button >Wait >Nothing happens >friend and I look at each other, we tested it multiple times, what could have went wrong? >Professor picks it up >Suddenly there's a deafening hiss for a split second >2 seconds of silence >it explodes >mfw it explodes >class is evacuated, everyone coughing as they exit the room >bomb squad called in >After the inital chaos we are called to the dean's office. >Informs us that we are both expelled and will be reported to the police >4 years of work down the drain >why does this always happen to me? >Graduation was ONE f------ week away and now it was all for nothing. >Now facing a fine/jailtime for "Bomb use/creation with terroristic intent" >What do I do I don't want to suck d--- in jail

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon doesn't like the kid named Finger | /r/Greentext

You and your pride and your ego! 4gt7b4023at71.png 283 KB PNG >we had a good thing, you stupid some of a bitch! We had child-murdering fring! We had a lab where fring randomly brutally murdered one of his most loyal employees for no reason! We had fring threatening to kill your infant daughter, and all it ran like CLOCKWORK! but you, you and your pride and your ego, you just had to blow it up! If you'd done your job, known your place, fring would have killed you and replaced you with Gale and I'd be FINE right now!

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anon makes a mickey mouse toy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/04/22(Fri)22:33:24 No.873821562 164070951857.jpg 172 KB JPG Alright /b/, I made my first Mickey Mouse toy, how does it look? (Yeah, it was a real rat)

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Anon saves a puppy | /r/Greentext

N i was just trying to do the right thing Anonymous 05/11/23(TH >me >retard >hot summer day.jpg >tfw its like 45c outside >walking to plaza to get a freezy >notice a lil tiny dog inside of a black toyota with the windows down >get freezy >come out 5 mins later >its still there >what the f--- >i grab a rock from the parking lot >"GET BACK EVERYONE" >i scream from my lungs >smash the drivers window open like i'm Jesus himself >thatwasclose.mov >reach in and grab the dog >when my hand enters the car to grab the dog, realize it's ice cold >mfw it was electric and the AC was on >walk away quickly

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anon posts a lust provoking image | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/25/23(Thu)09:13:31 No.638266270 >>638266701 >>638266929 >>638267495 >>638269414 >>638270068 >>638271487 Was it REALLY necessary to show Baby Peach in the Mario movie? Anonymous 05/25/23(Thu)09:18:00 No.638266604 ✓ >>638266771 >>638267006 >>638267131 >>638267158 lol wouldn't it be funny if instead of a pacifier it was my d--- instead haha Anonymous 05/25/23(Thu)09:19:23 No.638266701 >>638266771 >>638267131 >>638269414 >>638266270 (OP). >lust-provoking image ☐ Anonymous 05/25/23(Thu)09:20:19 No.638266771 ✓ >>638266929 >>638266962 >>638268986 >>638266604 >>638266701 that's a literal baby ☐ Anonymous 05/25/23(Thu)09:22:37 No.638266925 - I wish they showed 8-10 year old Peach Anonymous 05/25/23(Thu)09:22:43 No.638266929 ✓ >>638266270 (OP) >>638266771 why did they make her look like that

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Anon at it again | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/16/18(Sun)01:58:13 No.787483512 >Mom died right when I was born >Grew up with my dad's family, because my dad has all sorts of emotional issues and he bailed before I was born >Growing up I feel like there was always a lot of distance between me and my sister >Be 17 or 18 >Notice that my sister is a hottie >Accidentally found a video that she made of herself >I thought she was so f------ beautiful that I watched it twice >Would have watched it a lot more, but crazy s--- went down and I had to leave home >At this point, totally lusting after my sister >She was also having bad trouble with the law >Actually in custody when I left home >Friend and I go to pick her up >I Just wanted to f--- her brains out >I think she had feelings for me too >Kissed me when we picked her up >Definitely WAS NOT a sisterly kiss >Friend told me he wants to get with my sister >jealous.jpg >Not much happened between me and my sister for a while >At this point, we were all wanted and moving around a lot >Serious sexual tension between my friend and sister >I get hurt badly and almost die >While in recover, sister gives me another not sisterly kiss >We spend some time apart >l get really religious, try not to think of her that way >I was totally over her >We go sailing a year later (nothing romantic) >She's in the hottest f------ bikini ever 8 >Kill the mood by telling her that Darth Vader is our father and I have to go face him >All those feelings come back >She ends up with my friend from before >After all this, we were at a party >Sister and I were outside alone

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Anon likes Yusuf Amir | /r/Greentext

File: yamir.png (673 KB, 1000x1000) ☐Arab money thread Anonymous 05/20/23(Sat)21:35:32 No.73393784 ► >be yusuf amir >multi billionare >every possession is covered in gold >practically own the city >hires you to do a bunch of crazy s--- for him >despite being rich enough to buy both of them makes you steal an apc and a subway car because f--- it >gives you a rolls royce and a f------ golden uzi >lets you use his gold attack heli >geninely repays you in the end and kills your enemies Is Yusuf Amir the most based character in gaming history?

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Anon is Autistic | /r/Greentext

File: 1675872304031150.jpg (475 KB, 1600x1067) Realising that you have autism Anonymous 05/23/23(Tue)13:50:47 No.73424784 [Reply]► >>73425173 >>73425176 Did anybody realise in their mid 20s that they unironically have autism, and now their whole life makes sense? I've for a long time been in denial of having autism because I was highly successful in "reforming" myself and camouflaging my autistic traits. I can't live in denial of it anymore, it's exhausting to battle with myself and my past, trying to cope with the shame and self-hatred. My autisms: >Used to engage in repetitive behaviour such as repeating "funny words" constantly >99 woodcutting in runescape when I was 13 y.o. >Screamed and cried constantly when I was an infant, in preschool I'd cry until they let me go home >Reclusive shut-in, lived on the internet since I was a child >Literally never had a conversation with my parents >Interested in things more than people >Read a lot of books in childhood and enjoyed reading >Parents kept encyclopaedias in my childhood bedroom, used to be fascinated with the pictures >Had/have niche interests I'd be into as a phase >People have often described me as someone who's "in their own world" >Was slow at doing work in class >Seeming blunt, rude, or uninterested in others, often without meaning to >Determined to know the truth, always hold the truth in highest regard even if it upsets others >Anger management issues, can be aggressive >Quite fearless, willing to try new things and break rules >Ostracised and shunned by most groups at every point of my life >Was a complete class clown >In high school always felt others were a few years more socially developed than me >Been "camouflaging" since arriving at university; got tired of being a loser freak and wanted to be my inner chad >Learned to be a normie by imitating chad friends and watching youtube videos, unironically made pages of notes, systematising >Have felt like a robot or alien trying to be a human >Autistic determination often leads to doing extraordinarily well; became a socially successful chad who dated and seduced dozens of women >INTJ

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Anon fears their girlfriend | /r/Greentext

File: istockphoto-1192860160-612x612.jpg (36 KB, 612x420) Anonymous 05/22/23(Mon)21:16:11 No.58299305 ► >>58299318 >>58299372 >>58299382 >>58299401 >>58299420 >>58299428 >>58299446 >>58299487 >>58299501 >>58299605 >>58299791 >>58300048 >>58300152 >>58300168 >>58300333 >>58300478 >>58300564 >>58300815 >>58300890 >>58301166 >>58301324 >>58301505 >>58301872 >>58301999 >>58302205 >>58302344 >>58302367 >>58302377 >>58302397 >>58302398 >>58302412 >>58302590 >>58302613 >>58302616 >>58302648 >>58303796 >>58303820 >>58305051 >>58305481 >>58305493 >>58305866 >>58306293 >>58306525 >>58306698 >>58306911 >GF acting erratically >begin to fear for my life >put handguns in bag, take it to parents house, discretely stash it behind some boxes in the attic, just as a precaution >some time later she asks me what happened to the guns >tell her I took them to the weaponsmith to get them fixed >she asks me how can I tell they needed fixing, I havent fired them in years >try to b------- her saying I tried loading a magazine and found out they couldn't eject due to "impacted dust" >she knows I'm lying and don't trust her but doesn't push the issue >I realize there's nothing stopping her from trying to stab me while I sleep >routinely check under the mattress and near the bed for knives >have to resist the urge to fall asleep until she starts snoring I SINCERELY hope none of you ever know this feel.

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Anon embarrasses themself | /r/Greentext

File: E-fCdsVUYAE5i5s.jpg (135 KB, 680x532) Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)18:42:07 No.73438547 ► >>73438569 >>73438601 >>73439406 >>73439486 >>73439837 >be me >at family meeting >open 4chan on my phone as i usually do when bored >massive pair of t--- pops up because i was on /s/ >audibly say oh f--- >press the back button to escape the boob thread >right into a f------ feraljak thread >panic and close my phone im pretty sure multiple people standing behind me saw all that happen its so f------ over. im never speaking with my family again

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Anon plays TF2 | /r/Greentext

Cord HOW IS YOUR NIGHT GOING NI? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:34 No.39833040 Mine is doing good, I just sat down and cracked open a bear and about to play some TF2. Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:35 No.39833090 You cracked open a bear? Anonymous 10/11/09(Sun)18:36 No.39833114 >Cracked open a bear Oh god what OP TF2 IS FOR CASUALS Jacki G

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Anon on middle eastern history | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 05/24/23(Wed)20:38:00 No.15093770 ► >>15093801 >>15093803 All of ancient Assyria history be like: >people of some hebrew middle east city didn't praise the king of the universe Assurmarsuparlsimsinigalis enough >gets invaded because f--- you that's why >king of the city literally kills himself when he sees the assyrians show up >the city wont pay the reparation of a gazillion gold shekels and a billion 10/10 qt3.14 virgins >the assyrian chad army just breaks the walls with their siege d---- >proceeds to gigaholocaust everybody inside >even Hitler would say its too much >f------ carve in stone what they did because LOL, LMAO >"here be the mountain of ears" >"here be the tower of heads" >"here be the obelisk of flesh" >"and here's the children burning pit, neat eh?" >cut the head of the king, tie it to the neck of his general, make him march all the way to the capital Nineveh with the rotting head and then rip off his skin and decorate the walls with it >make weird cows with dude heads too >king of the universe Assurmarsuparlsimsinigalis dies of le sad and one of his sons stabbing him in the back >sons start killing each other for the throne, empire goes to s--- >everybody they f----- over by the centuries teams up to destroy Assyria >"Oh woerino is me! why they hate us? here I write my lamentarinos in clay because f--- paper"

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The white feather is the badge of honor of the intelligent man | /r/Greentext

This will happen again, but on TikTok ALLA : This will happen again, but on(...) Suddenly producing a large white feather, she jabbed it into his waistcoat. And in another fone, fierce and scornful, she added: ..."You coward! Why don't you enlist ?" 03/31/23(Fri)01:10:05 No.421737483 whiteFeather-Arnold Bennett ColliersWeekly_7jDLg.width- 800.jpg 69 KB JPG >war breaks out >men aren't enlisting >government tells women to shame men and call them cowards >zoomer women go on ShitTok and say they get the ick from non-enlisted men. >TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, all add the white feather of cowardice emoji >zoomer women all tag the men they know who aren't enlisted with the feather >sex-starved zoomer males will obey the mighty p----, and their own shame will be used against them

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