Anon gets banned | /r/Greentext
Uploaded by Reddit Moments May 10, 2023 at 02:23AM EDT
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![The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/list/002/946/856/9f0.jpeg "Anon is hopeful | /r/Greentext")
Uploaded by Reddit Moments May 10, 2023 at 02:23AM EDT
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Origin Entry: Greentext Stories
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File size: 129 KB
![□ Anonymous 01/23/15(Fri)09:46:08 No.594254957 ► >>594256064 >>594265026 File: 1419611651856.jpg (51 KB, 403x498) THOU HAS T'BE S------- ME >idgaf because it's summer and I'm hungry as f--- on a 12 hour shift >on the sixth day I feel a wall of dark matter slowly making its way through my intestines >I have fits of pain throughout the shift, having to take deep breathes on a knee >>594253241 (OP) >be me, stationed in korea >gotta eat MRE's during a week long exercise >MRE's are completely artificial foods with no exit strategy >Eat three of these bagged nasties a day. >Don't s--- once, I feel a malevolent mass slowly gaining power in my bowels >I've been adding hot sauce to them all for flavor >I break out into cold sweats, and I was sure I was hallucinating >The pain stops, but it's only a reprieve, the dark matter forces its way through my internal maze >I make it through the shift, I'm drinking liters of water, but I'm barely pissing it out >eventually make it to my dorm, I climb the steps of mordor in 40 lbs of chem gear □ Anonymous 01/23/15(Fri)09:56:07 No.594256064 ► >>594256742 >>594257588 >>594265026 >>594254957 cont. >I stumble at my door in a near comatose stupor when I suddenly feel it >My intestines begin to groan, with noises reminiscent of a dying grizzly bear >my blood shot eyes go wide open as my body switches to fight or flight mode >I fumble at the keypad in a near panic to get into my door >I forget the code several times over, once more and I get locked out >with a shaky finger I enter in a code in my delirious state, as if disarming a bomb >the door opens, and I thrust myself into my room >I rip off several layers of velcro'd chemical gear and my uniform in record speed >actually ripped the buttons of my ABU top, now completely soaked with cold sweat >break mach 3 as I sprint into the bathroom, I gave zero regard to my roommate who was in the other room >slam my ass so hard on the s------ I could've sworn I heard porcelain crack >I suddenly feel that great evil, pounding at my worn sphincter. >it didn't stand a chance, it was like a nuclear blast held back by a screen door □ Anonymous 01/23/15(Fri)10:11:54 No.594257588 ► >>594258274 >>594258747 >>594265026 >>594256064 cont. >Then the angels rip open the 6th seal in Revelations >I suddenly hear a noise, as if someone was ripping a waterlogged phonebook in two >I feel the vibrations through my ass and on the seat >I was genuinely concerned for its integrity >As if an iceberg is being forced through a penny sized hole, my a------ opens to sizes thought impossible >I feel the sharp edges of this monolithic s--- eviscerate my exit >l begin screaming as I shat out this white hot ingot >There was no effort on my part, something on the inside is making enough pressure to force the hyperdense material out >Perhaps this was the exotic material to bless humanity with warp speed >with what few nerve endings that weren't annihilated by the titan, I feel myself break past it's apex >I was almost in tears, dehydrated, and in relief for a brief instant, before I felt another great astrological force >the several liters of water I drank had cause so much pressure, it rocket the s--- out of my a------ like Mt. Vesuvius >I am literally lifted off the seat by the opposite reaction of this bullet train >a torrental waterfall of ass gas and unknown liquid pours out of me like a sheared fire hydrant >I feel the barometric pressure in the room change, I fear for tornadoes and lightening storms >My insides literally feel like they're emptying themselves out >Legitimately afraid I'll s--- out my rib cage due to the negative pressure >I black out, with the sounds of asswater smacking against the darkmatter □ Anonymous 01/23/15(Fri)10:24:25 No.594258747 >>594265026 File: 23456789583567.jpg (38 KB, 560x560) >>594257588 >>594259542 >>594259590 >>594260403 >>594260794 >>594261472 cont. >I come to about an hour later, by my roommate banging on the door >he's yelling about something, my 5 senses are slowly dragging themselves back into my conscious mind >"What the god damn f--- is that f------ smell jesus christ anon" >I barely register the word 'smell' before aforementioned hits me >It's as if someone stuffed a rotting corpse in a dumpster on a hot summer day >The shear potency was like a freight train, almost bring me back into unconsciousness >It was comparable to a mysterious death that leaped after me and struck me down >I compose myself and immediately begin dry heaving >there's literally nothing left in my system >it's in the bowl, as I realize this I stand up, feeling a noticeable draft up my a------ >no amount of s--- paper was gonna make a difference [Worried laughter] >I see a near football sized mass of hybrid material, jutting out from the bottom of the bowl >it's peak is risen well above the bodily fluid that had forced it out, the displacement had dangerously reached the edge >There was still steam, I ponder for it's uses as a geothermal energy source >I turn on the shower, I don't even bother to try flushing, it'd be as futile as a child moving a skyscraper >I curl up into a fetal position, and slowly s-- myself to sleep in the shower □ Anonymous 01/23/15(Fri)10:32:45 No.594259542 ► >>594259828 >>594259984 >>594265026 File: 1418621980295.png (514 KB, 520x678) >>594258747 Anyways, that's the end of that story. Remember kids. MRE's really suck Also I ended up having to actually take it out of the bowl and put it into like 6 plastic bags. Absolutely sure I could kill a man by swinging it at them in self defense. It'd be my faithful weapon of choice if the north attacked](https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/585/677/276.png "Anon eats too many MREs. | /r/Greentext")
