Anon gets robbed | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 10/27/16(Thu)07:10:15 No.32360229 File: 223211b5a1.png (440 KB, 632x604) >>32360378>>32360816 Not really cringe, but I have a story from a friend about missing social cues. >Walking around town late at night >Reach a guy sitting on the sidewalk, he asks me for money >"Sorry man, I don't have any money." >"I have a knife." >"Nah, that's okay man, I don't need a knife" >Walk away, don't realize I was getting robbed until later that night

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Incel is jealous of his little brother | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Little Brother got a gf before(...) 11 KB PNG 05/08/23 (Mon)10:23:47 No.73243447 >be me >22 year old >never had a gf or sex in my life >no idea how people get into relationships >no idea how to obtain casual sex >come home one day >mom is happy >never seen her this happy before >ask her whats up >she says that my little brother has a gf >mfw my 16 year old brother got a gf before me >ask him how he did it >he looks at me funny and smirks >"what do you mean? It just kind happened idk what I did exactly" God I hate this earth and my life. W-- does "it just happened" mean? Why wont he share his secrets with me? I want to unironically hurt this little s---. F--- WOMEN AND F--- NORMIES I WANT TO KILL THEM ALL

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Anon is living a lie | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/08/23 (Mon)11:11:11 No.898908760 >be me, arguing on the internet and losing, suddenly realize I was a complete idiot and can't back down now without them relentlessly mocking me "I hope you're like 15 or something because jesus f------ christ if you're a grown f------ adult and think like that you should just kill yourself." >decide to save face and lie, correct them to tell everyone that I'm actually 16 >everyone suddenly calms down and becomes more understanding, gently explains this s--- to me like I'm a sheltered kid >I had never mentioned my age before on this account anywhere, so now as far as anyone's concerned I'm 16 >in an unrelated but similar incident end up falsely admitting I'm female, so guess I'm a 16-year-old girl now >forget that I did that, keep posting and commenting the same kind of s--- that I usually do, only remember and go back to the lie whenever I share something semi-personal >start chatting with some guy about a game we're both playing, he's using a completely different tactic than I do and we get along a lot >he asks to add me on discord so we can chat more and I agree to it without thinking further of it "Honestly it's cool to find a girl who's into the real games and who isn't like extra about it." >s---, I forgot I've been impersonating a teenage girl on the internet for two years now >too late to back out now, keep up the facade to save face >refuse to go on voice chat, lying that I have a speech impediment that I'm super self-conscious about >keep chatting with this guy, be casual friends with him, game together sometimes >at one point he admits to having feelings for me despite of never hearing my voice or even seeing a picture of me >I tell him I don't know how I feel about that, I know as little about who he really is as he does about me, I don't even know his age >he says he's 19 >mfw I have no idea whether to lie about having a boyfriend, fake my own death, or confess to him that he's in love with a 32-year-old man

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Well, that is a very logical assumption if you post on 4chan. | /r/Greentext

>7 year old cousin is over >She wants to play the PS4 in my room >Mom tells me to "keep the door open" What the f--- did she mean by this?

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Anon has created a monster | /r/Greentext

"her" #1, No. 898905078 3 minutes ago hair JPG 400x400 39.7 kB >be me >be 2020 >bored during pandemic >know how to do funny voices for friends and have a pretty convincing female voice >using an application to improve my female voice >create a secondary discord account and pass myself off as a woman >first month someone gives me nitro as a gift >jackpot.jpg >start hanging around servers and sites where there are more lonely men giving them what they want >this is fun.jpg >ffw 3 years >be me >23 years >a lot of friends stopped talking to me because they found out what I was doing and others just started looking for me out of interest >have 3 "boyfriends" who give me money constantly, games or whatever I want just to satisfy their need for female attention. >barely leaving the house to stay connected to them >realizing that my room and things are starting to be things that I got because of "her". >my old stuff has been delegated to a corner while things they give to "her" take up most of the space >questioning who I am, me or her. >beginning to think about deleting her account and leaving but something keeps me from leaving them alone to their "boyfriends". >really feel like I have lost the battle against my own alter ego >not knowing who I am >feel like I've created a monster

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Anon is r started | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 7 KB PNG : Anonymous 05/07/23(Sun)22:47:19 No.898898186 I tried having sex with my dog a few days ago and he seems like she's been depressed ever since. How can I cheer her back up I feel really bad that she seems so sad 05/07/23(Sun)23:05:07 No.898899094 >>898898802 # I'm just really stupid I just thought she was interested after seeing me jacking off

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anon got friendzoned | /r/Greentext

>start relationship with girl >girl friendzones me >Still texts me every day >We hang out and have tons of sex >Tells me she's indecisive between me and another guy >Tell her she should just choose the other guy >She starts crying and having a mental breakdown What is wrong with her?

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Anon stinks up the room | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 26 KB PNG 05/07/23(Sun)22:16:18 No.73240843 >GF found the lasagna I've been hiding under her mattress for the last 3 months... : Anonymous Is that code for dead nine year old loli 05/07/23(Sun)22:44:52 No.73241047 : Anonymous 05/07/23(Sun)22:46:43 No.73241061 >>73240843 (OP) # what was the endgame here : Anonymous 05/07/23(Sun)22:50:13 No.73241088 >>73240843 (OP) # why, anon? why did you do it? what was your goal? what was your motivation?

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Anon defends his home | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: UqChOrgT 05/07/23(Sun)18:55:22 No.426237694 >>426238055 >>426238418 >>426238452 >>426240979 >>426242963 File: D2A059A8-88C3-4437-8A2C-0(...).gif (2.37 MB, 498x298) >>426235414 (OP) >be me >2013 >first job out of college >in crappy apartment in sketchy part of town to save money >get rear-ended, car in shop, have a rental car >3:00am hear scratching on other side of my bedroom wall which is the living room wall >see the light from my living room lights coming in under my door. >grab my first gen S&W M&P >on other side of bed with gun pointed to door >get cell out and dial 911 >as I do, the door opens and a hand fiddles for the light switch >bedroom lights come on and I see a man I've never seen before >i thought I shot three times, but it was actually 5. >2 shots missed, one going into the bathroom and getting trapped in some towels in my linen closet, the other miss got stuck in a wall stud >quite some time after the fact I learned where exactly I had shot him. >of the three that hit, one was the left lung, the other was the solar plexus and severed the artery running down the spine (this killed him), the 3rd went into his forearm and then stuck and got stuck in his ribs. >he made a startled look on his face, wobbled for a moment and fell forward face down >the amount if blood was like if someone had filled a milk gallon with blood instead and just casually kicked it over >moved out the next week Turns out he had a gun in his jacket pocket. The cops also said he had a very very long wrap sheet of burglaries and robberies. He was 37, but looked damn near 60. He was black. The cops said he had probably been casing my place and when my car wasn't there for a few days because of the rental, he figured I was out of town or something. The scratching on the wall was him unplugging my TV and game consoles and stuff.

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Anon is a murderer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: IkeoNZA6 File: 1683317969598480.webm 05/07/23(Sun)18:48:29 No.426237140 >>426238187 >>426239198 (2.95 MB, 336x448) >be me >in college 25 years ago >at a rock quarry with some friends >and a romantic rival who has no idea i loathe him >he actually thinks we're friendly ACK-quaintances >asks me >"Do people usually swim from this part across?" >"Oh, yeah, all the time. I just did, actually." >he gets halfway >starts panicking >starts flailing and going under >bitches screaming like a f------ horror movie >FD arrives maybe five minutes after he was last seen above the surface Took me two more years but I eventually balled that chick he was seeing. >that's not even the first person i've killed >nor the first i've killed in a rock quarry I've killed five people total, two in rock quarries. Tee-hee.

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Anon's Boomer and Zoomer co-worker's pick on him. | /r/Greentext

File: Bazoomer.png (447 KB, 894x749) YES SON AC4DC Bazoomer Sighting Anonymous 05/07/23(Sun)13:11:47 No.898876497 ► Im getting bullied at my work by Boomer boss and Zoomer new hire. >be 27, working wagie desk job >new hire is a zoomer who just graduated trade school. >He doesn't dress like a piece of broccoli sticking out of supreme shirt thankfully. >Dresses like he's cosplaying as Baby Driver though. >I still hear him do the "BUSSIN, LIT, FR FR" thing from time to time, makes me cringe. >boss is grumpy old boomer >Zoomer is six years younger than me, i'm barely a millennial, but I wince at his vocabulary and his over energeticness. so I'm certain my boss is gonna hate him. >Zoomer and I are in the break room, decide to try and talk about Vidya to relate to him. >He's not into Video games at all, likes sports and working on his car >conversation awkward, we cant relate at all >Grumpy Boomer boss walks in to get coffee, doesn't hardly ever socialize with the employees >hears us talking about videogames "You Gen Z's like wasting time playin those damn things, so spoiled" >Before I can say that I'm actually a millennial, Zoomer pipes up "Baby Boomers are the most spoiled generation, wanna know why?" >feels like the room just froze over >Boss is just glaring at him. I can feel his fury "Why's that son?" "Cause you guys had better music." >Boss starts cracking up >They talk about Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Rolling Stones >They talk about cars too, Zoomer is blown away by pictures of the bosses old Cadillacs. >He goes: "SHEEEESH" boss probably hasn't ever heard it before, but is brimming with enthusiasm What is happening? (CONT) □ Anonymous 05/07/23(Sun)13:12:21 No.898876519 >Last Friday of the month is casual friday. > Zoomer shows up with slicked back pompadour and bomber jacket. >BOSS LOVES IT. "lookin cool, you look like Peter Fonda in Easy Rider" "Bet, That's What I was goin for" >Turns out he only looked like Baby Driver cause he was wearing his business casual outfit. he's actually a modern day greaser. >I scope out his Facebook, he's dressed like this all through high-school and college, it's not even a bit, he's an official BABY ZOOMER >Boss goes out of his way to hang with Bazoomer. >They constantly talk about cars and girls. >I actually heard my boss say "SHEESH" at a picture of Zoomer's uncles Chrysler G Series. >Boss sells Bazoomer his red 1968 Cadillac Coupe Deville worth probably $18-20k for only $10k that he can pay off and "take as long as he likes" cause he know it will be "treated right" >Bazoomer is getting invited to social events with Boss and his friends, immediately networking with pretty much all the wealthiest business owners in our town >I know he is going to get promoted over me, I'm sure boss has already raised his salary above mine >The worst part, They talk s--- about Gen-Z and boss still thinks IM a Zoomer >I try to explain that i'm not a Zoomer, but they bring up the Video-game music I listen to at work "actually, Videogame OST's were designed to help you focus and they don't have lyrics so they're less distracting." Bazoomer chimes in: "I'd rather listen to something cause its good." >They both laugh at me So basically if I had only listened to Boomer rock, and realized my boss was only grumpy because he couldn't relate with anyone at our work, my career would be much further along than it is now I still dont know if he genuinely enjoys these things or if he just found a genius way to manipulate the wealthiest generation Turns out being a Zoomer is a state of mind >> Anonymous 05/07/23(Sun)13:19:17 No.898876827 File: download (3).jpg (4 KB, 225x225) You should quit and hope your new boss is a beta nerd like you.

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The suffering has ended. That is your reward. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/12/22(Mon)20:46:19 No.71377096 Have I truly become an engineer? 627EF8DD-B176-47A9-A953-3FCEE1D767B3.jpg 23 KB JPG >be me >hate every minute of engineer school >today I graduated >no fanfare or celebration because December >just kind of walk outside and be finished >that is it, just leave Is this how prisoners feel?

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Anon is unmotivated | /r/Greentext

File: mmkk22.png (50 KB, 201x204) O Anonymous 05/07/23(Sun)17:11:31 No.73237978 >decide to teach myself neuroscience and biology out of passion >start enjoying life again, and building a better routine centered around my reading >semester starts >suddenly have a bunch of classes for topics I'm not remotely interested in >routine gets destroyed, lose motivation to do my biology reading >get extremely suicidal and hateful of life >end up passing most of my classes but didn't learn s---

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