An highly regarded member of the group, anon | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>be me >drinking vodka and singing old Irish songs with friends >I end up passing out >wake up to my phone stolen and wallet empty >call friends with home phone >"ya hey man sorry about that we were playing poker and you lost them to john ill give him a call" 27 KB PNG >john calls me >"hey anon do you want your s--- back I know you were drunk and all" >get my money and phone back >mfw im a respected part of my friend group

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Literal feed and seed moment | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: (VVaCQILf) 04/16/23(Sun)09:13:50 No.423735762 >>423735956 >>423737463 >>423737865 >>423738804 >>423740331 >>423742615 >>423742998 >>423744643 >>423744944 >>423746427 >>423746859 >>423747330 >>423748787 >>423749280 >>423751229 >>423752480 >>423754101 >>423756680 >>423756751 >>423758827 >>423758862 >>423759044 >>423759734 >>423759970 >>423760241 File: Dadeville.png (1.1 MB, 1243x557) B FLOYD'S >>423734304 (OP) # Nutrena FEED SEED

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Anon finds a flaw in the system | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: iOfl5bZT) [ Desert Groyper and 3 others liked Punished Wormwood @real_wormwood lol it works 04/16/23(Sun)10:33:32 No.423762045 DIAMOND PREFERRED 5424 1 Valid 06/2 NIGGERFAG 18 AAN citi ONE Mastercard @Mastercard - 6/1/21 For those who don't identify with the name on their card, a simple purchase can put them at risk. That's why we created True Name®, which lets transgender & non-binary communities display their chosen name on their card. Beca... 8:08 PM - 6/13/21 Twitter Web App 1666659317318896.jpg 103 KB JPG

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Anon gets cucked hard | /r/Greentext

31 KB PNG >chilling with friend this Saturday >been talk about how i got a fat crush on this girl i know that he's never met >go on with the night >suddenly a text message from her >shes bored and wants to know what im doing >tell her im at my friends house but she can come over >while waiting my friend is telling me on and all >shes arrived and we have a fun night >after shes gotten home i text her and find out shes really attracted to my friend >F--- >try to have a fun night playing minecraft with my friend >text from her again, she really likes him >ffw a few hours and they have plans next weekend and i cant make it there that day >try not to cry myself to sleep as im staying the night with my homie >shes using me to get to know him better now >i have to give her advice and wish her luck because shes already suspicious about my feelings >tell other friend and he calls me a cuck >mfw i got omega cucked and sent into the deepest fattest friendszone ever just got done with having to wish her the best and tell her on again. f--- f--- F---. I cant do anything right. God dammit.

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Anon does the unthinkable | /r/Greentext

257 KB PNG >be me in high school >Have female friend who I have a crush on >Never able to ask her out >Really horny one night, she is texting me and jokes about sending me nudes >Ends up faking out and laughing about how she probably blue balled me >Says she's going to bed >Need to masturbate so bad >Decide to go into bathroom and take my pants off >Angle my camera at my ass and get a photo where it kinda looks like someone else's ass >We have a similar skin tone so this might work >Photoshop the picture of my ass into a photo of her texts as if she sent her ass >Start jerking off to it, blow a huge load, pretend I compliment her ass To this day I can't get over this experience.. she's married with 2 kids now, I can't believe I stroked it to my own ass

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meanwhile in the mines of /v/... | /r/Greentext

ile: 76344743798.jpg (73 KB, 500x647) Anonymous 04/17/23(Mon)00:04:25 No.634329224 >Meanwhile, in the mines of /v/... >> Anonymous 04/17/23(Mon)00:05:37 No.634329308 File: 1666669955208062.png (2 KB, 800x504) Go back to Digg. digg >>634329405 >> Anonymous 04/17/23(Mon)00:06:43 No.634329405 File: 805EADCD-0883-4D6B-842F-4(...).png (683 KB, 878x1018) >>634329224 (OP) Anyone else here love minors?

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Anon tried to be nice to a fat kid | /r/Greentext

Anonymous A 605 KB PNG 04/16/23(Sun)21:10:36 No.72978855 > be me > currently working at Burger King > s----- job with s----- pay > I hate my my job > it hurts my soul to show up at work but I have to because of bills and s--- > my coworkers are also assholes > keeps me out of conversations and treats me like an animal > gets really sad because I have to work here > last week > not as busy as it usually is > a fat kid enters the restaurant > the kid comes up and orders 6 nuggets > since its not busy and we got a s--- ton of nuggets i give a few extra > prob gave the kid 9 nuggets when he ordered 6 to be nice > a few min later > a enormous beast enters the restaurant > makes a big scene that I fat shamed her son > she thinks that I gave the kid the extra nuggets because the kid is fat > w--.exe > just tried to be nice to a kid > can see that the kid is embarrassing that her mom yells > gets called to a meeting tomorrow > f--- me Basically I might lose my job because I tried to be nice and positive in a toxic work environment.

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Anon is from the UK | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12 KB PNG 11/09/21(Tue)06:25:39 No.866383431 Has anyone else got any funny stories from when they were younger? >be me 10 years old, it's 2001 in the UK >playing in the street with my good friends >the road is a hill & my house is near the top >woman comes speeding down road so we all scatter & call her a bitch >she lives half way down the hill & parks at the side of the road >gets out & calls us little s---- etc. & goes inside >one day I notice some keys outside her house & because I'm a good boy I knock her door to give them back to her >she doesn't even open the door, just tells us to f--- off her property >get an idea >wait until night time, unlock her car & let off her handbrake >car begins to roll down hill & we all run away >car picks up speed & goes straight into a house at bottom of the road >all s--- our pants but go home & deny all knowledge >police come & arrest woman as she's really drunk & accuse her of leaving handbrake off >never got in trouble for it >be nice to kids

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Anon is harassing someone on discord | /r/Greentext

466 KB PNG > be me > plays a lot of rust > Im in a discord server dedicated to that game > I was born a male but I identify myself as a woman > that has resulted in me not having any friends or relationships > use my freetime on rust and f--- around on this discord server > I meet a male individual on the discord server > we play together and has a good time > after a while I get emotional stimuli from talking to him > im in love > one night im extremely horny > all I can think of is how hot the voice of this make individual is > makes my a------ wet just thinking about him > f--- it > send the guy a d--- pick and tells him I want him inside of me > the excitement of me sending the pictures makes me more horny > I start masturbating while thinking of him spreading my buttocks > spankmedaddy.exe > starts recording myself blowing a load onto my new steelseries apex pro mini gaming keyboard > sends the video to the guy on discord > goes to bed and has the best sleep ever > wake up > opens discord > s--- ton of private messages > the guy leaked all my s--- on the local rust server > gets threats and hate > later find out the guy I was talking with is a 15 year old boy > I am basically a p-------- > says he have contacted the local authorities > gets banned from the rust server > have put around 4000 hours onto the server How f----- am i???

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We are all gonna make it | /r/Greentext

24 KB JPG >be me >27 >cook/everything else >closing up restaurant >me and one girl finishing up in kitchen >light flirting feeling it out >close up and walk her to her car >say bye and hug >she does the gril thing where she falls into the hug a little >catch her no problem >shes breathless >wow anon you're so strong now shes sending me naughty pics feels good boys

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Anon trolls someone on Reddit | /r/Greentext

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BITCH MUMMY BETRAYS HER GOOD LITTLE BOY! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO raaaaaaaaaar.png, 228KiB, 858x725 Anonymous Tue 27 Feb 2018 13:47:25 No.43512143 >alarm goes off >"REEEE REEE REEE, oh, it's just my alarm" >bitch mom forces me to have one so i don't sleep past 1 >remember it's tendie tuesday >a smug grin cracks into my face >heave 460lb body out of bed and zoom down stairs >catch mummy just as she's about to leave >"MUMMY IT'S TENDIE TUESDAY GET ME TENDIES OR YOU HAVE TO FIGHT ME AGAIN" >she winces and sheds a tear knowing how close she was >"a-anon, i'm already late i have to go or mr. sheckleburg wil-" >she already sees me nervously whining >"sorry anon i have to go" >charge her but the bitch dodges and flees to her room and locks the door >i run up to it and pound on it >YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL, BITCH YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL FOR ABUSING YOUR LITTLE BOY REEEEEEE WHEN I GET IN THERE YOU ARE F------ DEAD, DO YOU HEAR ME, BITCH!? DEAD! >pass out from too much exercise >wake up, she's gone >groan, scream and tear the carpet out as i lay on the floor in despair >plan to get back at her with what little sense i have in my primal rage >throw that idea out, decide if i play nice good boy she'll reward me with tendies >put blanket over torn carpet outside her room >throw piss bottles out >here the door jiggling >put on my best good boy smile and wait for her to open it >two cops walk in with her >"that him?" >trying to contain the rage in me >"yer gonna come with us son?" >"yes, take him away please for god's sake" >teehee! who are these men, mommy? >cry and kick but they muscle me to the car anyway >three days pass and i stay in an institute >get to go home with mommy >she curses under her breath about them "not holding me further" >give her the papowee of a life time when we get home >her head cracked on the tile floor and she wouldn't get up >eventually the landlord came and found her View Report >authority's find me hiding behind couch, crying >have to go to a trial, they make me dress funny >court ruled that i was innocent and had me plea insanity >get sent to a home with other special people >THERE ARE NO TENDIES HERE >mfw

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Subscribe to my OnlyDudes | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: (bKum6BRZ) ♬ 04/16/23(Sun)10:45:15 No.423757057 >>423743679 (OP) # If the gender roles were somehow flipped entirely, which is impossible because biology, it would actually be based as f---. >Be man >Expected to sit at home and do whatever you want >Have hordes of women after you even if you are ugly, fat or retarded (remember that 99% of men will f--- anything that moves and is living so flip that around to women) >Paid for dates >Get cat-called in public if you're >5/10 (Oh no someone called me hot the horror!) >If you want extra money just sell d--- pics on onlydudes for thousands of dollars Reminder that this is the life most women have and they still complain >>423757529 # >>423759213 #

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