An anon tip is provided. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>buy Helium >around 100 balloon >gun >attach balloons filled with helium to gun >shoot yourself >let the gun fly away >no one will ever know Thank me later

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon shits on 4chan instead of using his military genius to conquer nations | /r/Greentext

File: 1411924096398.png (356 KB, 917x483) WHO WOULD WIN? A Stick VS 1000 US Marines Anonymous (ID: FKONWLZ) 11/23/14(Sun)23:11:03 No.581035868581036028581036107 >>581036353 >>581036760 >>581036765 >>581037395581037482581037536581038831581038852581039313 >>581039339 Tough choice Anonymous (ID: TzbEUWVz) 11/23/14(Sun)23:17:28 No.581037053581037181581037278 >>581037393 All it is is one marine to break the stick SERIOUSLY WHAT THE F--- >>581037053 # then you have two stick stick win everytime Anonymous (ID: 554) 11/23/14(Sun)23:18.12 No.581037181581037370581037481 >>581039519

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Anon loves Velma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 34 KB JPG 08/08/15(Sat)06:54:47 No.633378377 >>633377556 # >be 10 >watching Scooby Door >tfw Velma's sexy >start stroking my d--- through the blanket >feelssogood.png >feel a volcano erupting in my loins >shout SCOOBY DOOBY DOO as I c-- >Start doing it on the reg >SCOOBY DOOBY DOO every time I c-- >Mom thinks I really like Scooby Doo >Mom buys me all seasons of Scooby Doo for Christmas

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Anon, I'm here | /r/Greentext

23 KB JPG > be me > first day as Redditfag > heard they're all smart > thought that I can learn something new from the comments > look at the top comment > 1.4k upvotes >it said "nice" >Idon'tgetit.jpeg >look at the second most upvoted comment > it said "nice" >look at the most downvoted comment >it said "nice" >mfw

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Cheeky Oyster Anon Correction Required | /r/Greentext

Need more cheeky mobs in upcoming games gotta reeducate them all >>2966762 # smell like fish in here.jfif.jpg 167 KB JPG : Anonymous >>2966744 # I want to f--- an oyster. 03/04/23(Sat)13:37:14 No.2966762

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Anon discovers South Park | /r/Greentext

Cartman you dumbass You know nothing about Women I know enough To exploit it 113 KB JPG > Be me, 20 > Discover South Park > Cartman is f------ funny > Can actually impersonate him pretty well too > Start bringing his mannerisms into my everyday life > Call "school" skewl, etc. > Women think its cute how i talk > Sympathy p---- cause they think im handicapped > Dont realise im impersonating a child > TFW you get more sex when talking like a 10 year old than you ever did before Why havent you taken the Cartman pill /b/?

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Anon gets his answer | /r/Greentext

File: 1AA163EE-370E-4567-B375-E(...).jpg (398 KB, 1920x914) The Invasion Of Taiwan Anonymous 04/11/23(Tue)18:44:45 No.57813074 [Reply] >>57813146 Hypothetically, how would a Chinese invasion of Taiwan play out? Anonymous 04/11/23(Tue)18:50:09 No.57813146 >>57813074 (OP) # Like me banging ur mom

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Harmless Little Prank | /r/Greentext

File: 1381193662080.jpg-(352 KB, 1750x2500, muscle-chest-adult-spiderman-costume.jpg) जै Anonymous 10/07/13 (Mon)19:54:22 UTC-5 No.509816450 >be me 18 yo college freshman >meet this awesome kid down hall, badass mohawk and s--- >his roommate is this p------------ hipster though >f----- black rimmed glasses and suede shoes and s--- >this kid is seriously why nobody will ever take the word "indie" seriously >spend whole year playing tricks on him and telling him "pranked" after seeing his reaction >innocent s--- like hiding bouncy balls in his stuff, covering his soap in glue, etc >one day hanging out in their room, decide to pull some hardcore s--- on his punk ass >decide to j------- into his shampoo, so when he showers he'll rub j--- into his hair >lock door >commence fapping > the room's at the end of the hall, so if i hear footsteps i know its him >hear him coming >ohshit.mov >commence panic fap mode >adrenaline extends my stamina, it's going to be a photo finish >hear him put his key into the door >facing away from the door, shampoo bottle in front of me, d--- in my hand >he sees me jerking it in the corner of the room >hear him yell "dude what the f--- right as I j--- >fine tuned combat instincts cause me to fling my handful of c-- right into his eyes >mfw i just spiderman'd my friend's a------ roommate >mfw when he is standing completely flabbergasted, and all I can think to say is "pranked"

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Anon takes himself to reality for his field trip. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 19 KB PNG 04/11/23(Tue)15:50:21 No.72914517 >Be kid in middle school >Field trip to someplace I can't remember >Sitting at the back of the bus with the other anti-social kids including my best friend at the time >Normies upfront play 'kiss, marry, kill' >Game eventually devolves into 'who would you rather date' >Not paying attention to the game and just chilling with my friend >Ears pop up when I hear my name >Oh s---.jpeg >Someone asks a girl I like, "Would you rather date anon or anon's friend" >She responds with, "If there was no one else left on earth, I would choose anon's friend >Further emphasizes that she would only pick him if there was no other person on earth >My friend and I try to laugh it off >Meanwhile my confidence is shattered as I realize I am at the very bottom of my school's attractiveness hierarchy

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femanon is a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 62 KB JPG : Anonymous 59 KB JPG >>72912814 # : Anonymous >>72912674 (OP) # Because I am 6'5" and I want a tall girl. >>72912814 # >f >6' : Anonymous >>72912696 # 04/11/23(Tue)23:39:03 No.72912674 ok? I am racist >115lb >high school drop out cause teachers are kiked >homeschooling since >only eat kosher so tell me anon, why should I marry you? 04/11/23(Tue)23:40:21 No.72912692 04/11/23(Tue)23:40:37 No.72912696 : Anonymous >>72912674 (OP) # Seems like we're forgetting something here OP ahem VIRGINITY STATUS Every woman is a 0/10 until her personality proves otherwise. The fact that you listed attributes and nothing about yourself says an awful lot. 04/11/23(Tue)23:41:47 No.72912710 04/11/23(Tue)23:48:44 No.72912814 I'm kind of a jew, not biologically, but in the way I do things, I guess it's because my dad was a big reckless spender and it scarred me I am stingy AF, I count my shekels to the cent and do double entry accounting my bowl is always shiny clean cause I lick it clean cause refuse to waste food blessed by God i don't like to communicate with people irl cause there's no money to be made, don't want unhealthy connection at all I will return the RTX5090 you ordered because it's a waste of money, no matter how much money you make >>72912710 # virgin

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All the world's a stage | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/28/23(Tue)13:59:09 No.14691891 _67617336_hi-its-god-here.jpg 70 KB JPG THE SAMUEL COURTAULD TRUST >God is all-knowing. >God therefore knows everything that will happen. >Humans therefore have no agency or moral responsibility. >God is basically watching a movie that he's spoiled for himself >God punishes/rewards the actors for something they had no control over W--? Who honestly believes this garbage?

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I hope you are happy with yourselves | /r/Greentext

We Deserve What Star Wars Has Become Star Wars is now all about reliving former glories instead of inventing new ones. It's what fans asked for, but they mic BY STACEY HENLEY PUBLISHED 23 HOURS AGO ›THEGAMER We Deserve What Star Wars Has Become Anonymous 04/11/23(Tue)12:10:59 No.182869096 >>182869109 >>182869124>>182869576 >>182869778 >>182869878 >>182869885 182870200 >>182870211 >>182870246 >>182870308 >>182870367 >>182870391 >>182870399 >>182870485 >>182870522 >>182870824>>182870931 >>182871069 >>182871569 >>182871829 >>182872072 -182872316 >>182872813 >>182872922 >>182875122 >>182875207 >>182875242 >>182875390 >>182875461 >>182875905 >>182876251 >>182876454>>182877252 >>182877498 >>182877660 >>182878216 -182878537 >>182879823 ITS YOUR FAULT, /tv/! YOU did this! >You can't make money off the past. At least, not until you find a way to sell it into the future. Star Wars, in part thanks to the fact it's owned by Disney, is fully in the capitalist vortex of churning out every possible spin-off it can, chasing that sweet, sweet dollar. The part of this problem not directly caused by Disney is caused by the fact Star Wars' biggest creative leads were huge fans as kids, and are now recreating that, forever. Nothing new, just the stuff that blew their minds in the '80s. >This is where our own culpability comes into it. Culturally, we have shown ourselves to be good little piggies consuming content on demand. Though the superhero box office dominance is waning, we have supported the creation of spin-off after spin-off, universe after universe. About 476,923 new Star Wars projects were announced or discussed during the conference, and the vast majority were continuations, spin-offs, or old characters getting to ride again. Star Wars is failing to take advantage of the world's potential in order to appease YouTubers with stained shirts who think it's woke that Daisy Ridley's abs give them complex emotions. YOU are the consumer piggy, /tv/. Its not coropos fault. Its yours. https://www.thegamer.com/deserve-star-wars-celebration-mandalorian-spin-offs/

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Anon is an Egyptian Prostitute | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 380 KB PNG 04/11/23(Tue)16:24:18 No.897427417 >be me >15 years old >read somewhere that the best ancient Egyptian prostitutes could make a man c-- by tugging on his pubic hairs >Still relatively new to this m----------- thing >get idea >pretend I'm a wealthy Egyptian Merchant or Nobility >spend the gold 100 peasants wouldn't see in a year on the best w---- on the Nile >Imagine an olive-skinned goddess clad in nothing but jewelry and a devilish smile >imagine her oiled and perfumed to perfection >she walks slowly toward me while I lay naked on the bed >tug on my pubic hair while I imagine this beauty looking at me with that trickster smile >That smirk >She's the perfect tease >Blow my load while imagining c------ all over that cute face of hers while she giggles TFW when I made myself c-- by just tugging on my pubes TFW I could have been the best prostitute of Ancient Egypt Anyway, Egyptology thread. Know any good facts or trivia from Ancient Egypt?

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