Anon hears a British person | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: images.jpg (9 KB, 323x156) COPIUM >Walk to work feeling ashamed Anonymous 08/22/22(Mon)18:20:10 No.69916612 >Be me, Horny >Open PornHub >Click on video with sexy girl >Parents aren't home so I turn up the volume >Girl has a British accent > Instant boner killer >exit video and close the tab

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon goes to the gym | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/28/21(Tue)18:25:50 No.64920470 >>64919877 # >be home gym master race >constantly see threads on /fit/ about annoying zoomers at the gym >refuse to believe it's actually as 157 KB GIF bad as people say >eventually outgrow what little home equipment I have, start going to the nearest gym because weights are expensive >it's filled with zoomers >every single one of them looks, acts, and talks exactly like /fit/ says they do >hoards of broccoli topped zoomer males standing around filming each other bench 1 plate in the squat racks >zoomer women everywhere staring at their phones on the benches, on machines, and in the squat racks >hear multiple SHEEEEEESHes and no caps during my workout >go home and immediately buy some dude's home gym setup of Facebook marketplace for 3 grand I'm never going back to the gym, bros >>64920515 # >>64920516 # >>64920756 # >>64924483 #

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Anon is a Romaboo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 17 225 KB JPG 04/11/23(Tue)14:36:32 No.14879054 >2023 >Still no tv shows and movies about the Eastern Roman Empire >Racism and discrimination against Byzaboos continues to be accepted

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Anon performed well | /r/Greentext

Anonymous RESPECT 337 KB PNG 04/10/23(Mon)16:07:27 No.92686313 I unironically got fired for performing to good. >be me, codemonkey >work at sass company for 2 years >get assigned to work on a new mail delivery product/service >deliver >sells are going nice, every company meeting is mentioning the new product >thinking about asking for a raise >wake up >tech lead left a message on my private number >"hey anon, can you hop in a call with me asap ?, thanks" >turns on PC >google account deactivated >uh oh >long story short the company wanted to cut costs and since my team (i, a trainee and a frontendfag) actually delivered the product the higher ups decided to cut me out since im "done", the n------ with past deadlines are ok since theyre "not done" >tfw new CEO doesnt know the difference between sass and a software factory >tfw getting fired with no prior warning >tfw getting fired with no negative reviews >tfw getting discarted especifically because youre a good goy you may not unsubscribe from my blog, cope, seeth and dilate

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R-Ryan...? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/23(Tue)08:33:58 No.30473202 ? DS Digital Spy https://www.digitalspy.com › movies Ryan Gosling says he is "49% woman" Jun 2, 2016 - And when asked what percentage woman he'd claim to be, he replied, "I'd say 49%, sometimes 47%, it depends on what day... Anonymous >>30474170 # FtSJMERXOAQJSMw.jpg 53 KB JPG >>30473202 (OP) # im literally ryan gosling if he took estrogen 04/11/23(Tue)08:35:16 No.30473224 : Anonymous >>30473358 # Bases well-adjusted Jungian 04/11/23(Tue)08:37:05 No.30473253 : Anonymous >>30474193 # 04/11/23(Tue)08:44:52 No.30473358 >>30473202 (OP) # the industry is going to troon him soon, screencap this. he's going to be the next victim of the hollywood humiliation ritual, and it's gonna be a BAD one >>30473253 # Jung said you can also have an overly- developed anima and i think this counts

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Anon reads philosophy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/10/23(Mon)21:52:30 No.21897426 Thomas_Cole_-_The_Voyage_of_Life_Childhood,_1840_(Munson-Williams- Proctor_Arts_Institute).jpg 391 KB JPG >read 19th century philosophy >it's just reality TV tier drama and gossiping for "intellectuals" >obfuscating simple ideas with needlessly dense and often intentionally impenetrable language in order to appear complex >overall just a depressing experience >read the Greeks and the Easterns >every other passage is a profound truth laid out in the most eloquent and lucid manner >my anxieties are assuaged by intensely resonant wisdom given by the greatest minds in recorded history >overall one of the most spiritually fulfilling experiences ever

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Talichadban owns silly ameriumutt | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/10/23(Mon)17:05:29 No.57800541 >>57800596 >>57800667 ile: taliban.jpg (61 KB, 670x572) Taliban Public Relations Department, Comm... @Taliban... • Apr 7 You think that storming Capitol Hill and taking selfies will bring you freedom. It is earned by the blood of the old & young. Americans chant on the streets, then go home to eat burgers and watch their favourite Israeli news station before falling asleep blissfully. Good night >>57800497 # they're not wrong Anonymous 04/10/23 (Mon)17:11:39 No.57800596 File: N23_0481.jpg (1006 KB, 2500x1663) >>57800541 # these guys are f------ hilarious. Anonymous 04/10/23 (Mon)17:20:34 No.57800667 >>57800541 # Based TaliCHADiban

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anon wants, but can't | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 185 KB PNG : Anonymous 04/11/23(Tue)04:21:15 No.72902980 >want to read books,manga,comics etc >want to watch anime i used to read/watch these types of media in the past what the f--- happened >want movies and shows >have unlimited access to all of these types of media >dont watch/read them : Anonymous 04/11/23(Tue)04:21:57 No.72902987 Must consoom media aaaaaa : Anonymous >>72902980 (OP) # Depression. I normally read books all day but when depressed, that s---'s like reading Chinese. 04/11/23(Tue)04:28:51 No.72903073 04/11/23(Tue)04:39:07 No.72903173 literally me, i spent my teenage years binge watching anime like naruto one piece and bunch of other stuff inside my room all day, now i'm a NEET and i don't have the energy for anything besides scrolling 4chan

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Slurp Slurp | /r/Greentext

129 KB PNG Greetings, /b/. Remember the Tide Pod challenge when a bunch of kids thought it would be hip and cool to swallow detergent because it looked like candy? Well, i've come up with another challenge. The Slurp Juice Challenge! For those who don't know, the Slurp Juice is a healing item used in Fortnite so just the title alone will attract stupid kids like moths to a lamp. The challenge would consist of drinking a whole jug of anti-freeze or drinking anti-freeze from a jar, similar to the "Slurp Juice" item. Anti-freeze usually tastes really sweet so no one will suspect a thing while drinking it. But of course, according to Google, as little as 1 oz is enough to kill an adult so you can imagine just how much of an overdose a whole jar of anti- freeze is? Especially for a child... If we can get this trending on Facebook, Twitter, Youtube and other place, we can expect some fine natural selection happening soon!

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Anon orders pizza | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.29 MB GIF 04/11/23(Tue)12:18:34 No.897401720 >pizza guy arrives >yell out loud 'pizzas here guys!' and have music playing >go to the door and get the pizza and apologise for the noise >give a small tip >go back in and watch a kino and eat the pizza alone because theres no one else there based or cringe?

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The momentus empty pleasure when the eternal feeling of love walks in | /r/Greentext

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Anon is a sad monarchist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: BoqUs5Fj) 04/09/23(Sun)19:47:13 No.422884147 GALES Thread Tim Burgess @Tim_Burgess Imagine explaining this to somebody from another planet 9:28 AM 5/10/22 345 Retweets 840 Quote Tweets 3,567 Likes 21EF3B90-2203-4BB6-BD85-9149E3F34837.jpg 1.14 MB JPG LELLELLE >Before a race of parasitic merchants called the Jews took over our planet, we had "monarchs" who were families of great men who through strength and wisdom, led their peoples to create great kingdoms and nations. Most of them were ousted or killed by Jews 100 years ago, but this man is kept alive by a family of Jews called the Rothschild banking clan as a pet, for their amusement. He is a sad creature indeed, deeply in debt and forced to watch from his guilded cage as his country is swallowed up by archaic brown races the Jews brought in as a humiliation ritual. We whites are descendants of Plaedians, from the vicinity of Aldebaran, who you may be familiar with. A group of brave noble men called the "Nazis" led the last rebellion against the Jews 80 years ago, but lost, and now we are under the grip of Jewish tyranny. Let our planet be a cautionary tale and do not make the same mistakes that we did..

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Anon needs to lick and find out | /r/Greentext

>be me, med student >with my younger brother (18) in our private sauna >pretty much naked, sweating as f--- >idea.jpg >"hey bro, we learnt how to test for cystic fibrosis last week at uni, it's really simple, wanna see?" >bro is interested in my studies every time and agrees >"One of the symptoms of cystic fibrosis is salty sweat because normally there is a chloride channel in your sweat glands that removes the salts. So you just need to taste your sweat" >i lick my arm a little >it's a bit salty, as normal sweat is >"my sweat tastes like water, how about yours?" >bro licks his wrist >his expression changes into horrified >"big bro... mine is salty" >"oh crap, really? Better check with someone else" >"you're lying, yours was salty too, wasn't it big bro" >"no, I didn't lie, but you can lick me if you want to" >bro refused He now thinks he has cystic fibrosis and will either have to lick somebody to find out that everyone's sweat is a little salty or ask somebody to lick him. The best part is that the thing about salty sweat is partially true, so a simple internet search will give him mixed results.

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