Anon Is A Ladies Man | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 08/12/22 (Fri)07:35:09 No.69779074 >girl at work dyes her hair green >tell her it looks cool :) >she looks me up and down and says "...oh" >her hair is black the next day 255 KB JPG

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon hates talking now | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 140 KB PNG >be me >19 03/20/23 (Mon)20:29:04 No.72649367 >watch the news >see story about dentist who killed his wife >later mom asks me if i watched the news >tell her i did >asks me if i saw the story about the dentist who killed his wife >tell her i did >asks me "what do you think happened" excuse me? >respond with "i think he killed his wife" >asks me "what do you think he should've done" >respond with "i think he shouldn't have killed her" >she responds with "yeah" >later she comes into my room and tells me "it's good to watch the news so that you can have an opinion on the news" am i autistic? is she autistic? is this normal human conversation? i think i hate talking now

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Anon gets some free beer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 3.09 MB PNG 03/27/23 (Mon)02:35:38 No.57632370 >>57632228 # >>57632289 # going on the theme of 7/11 here >be me senior year of hs >2-3 years ago, whenever covid first started >DC metropolitan area >walk into 7/11 to get twisted teas for party later using a fake >walk to back fridges >they dont have any >grab packs of blue moon instead >turn corner of isle to walk to register >a fat ger is literally rawdogging a fat white bitch in the chip isle >drop one of the cases of beer out of pure shock >cashier hears the glass breaking and goes to investigate >do 360 and walk away out of the isle and duck into another >hear old man cashier yelling >"yours f--- like rats, you couldnt even use the condoms in the next isle!" >take opportunity to walk out with 12 pack of beer >a ton of extra people show up to the party and end up drinking it without asking >I only got to drink two >>57632399 # >>57632428 # >>57637493 #

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Anon has a food rule | /r/Greentext

1672137065810739.jpg 3.45 MB JPG I use when I have to try new food Basically it's 3 things >slimy texture >smells like s--- >grayish color if the food has 0 out of 3 >probably okay 1 out of 3 >most likely going to be fine 2 out of 3 >eat at your own risk 3 out of 3 >F--- no!! what do you guys think? I spent the night talking about it with my sis could not find an exception do you know one?

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Anon has plans for when the bombs fall | /r/Greentext

ActuallyArcane*+ @ActuallyArcane She... She looks like me.. She's built like me... I... thank you #Representation Matters #DiablolV Actually Arcane 1680013806245916.jpg 95 KB JPG : Anonymous I'm not ashamed. I'm disgusted. CONFIRM LOOK ... Zoom Fat people are valid and deserve representation. Stop fatshaming. 03/28/23(Tue)13:49:06 No.70430630 : Anonymous 03/28/23(Tue)13:50:59 No.70430641 Regardless of fatness worldview, I can't believe someone would be so f------ cringe in public. 03/28/23(Tue)13:51:45 No.70430650 : Anonymous >>70430617 (OP) # Imfao I love that fatties are becoming more accepted because when the bombs drop and everyone's out of food I'll be dragging them in off the street when they start dropping into comas from low blood sugar. My ancestors survived their end times on mammoth meat and so shall I. >>70430672 # >>70430676 # >>70430723 # >>70430798 # >>70430819 # >>70430831 # >>70432470 # >>70432581 # >>70432598 # >>70432781 # >>70433338 # >>70433399 # >>70433623 # >>70433731 #

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Anon likes the new re4 remake too much | /r/Greentext

RESIDENT EVIL 4 EVWYZD63pahuh95eKloFaJuC.jpg 149 KB JPG >be me >Spend 24 years of life on earth as a straight male >Resident Evil 4 Remake trailer drops >See Leon and Luis in 4K with all new renders >Penis gets hard uhh guys

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Anon remembers a quote | /r/Greentext

>In philosophy >Professor asks me about the concept of evil >Put on the spot, start panicking but remember a certain quote from Witcher 3 >"Evil is Evil. Lesser, greater, middling... Makes no difference. The degreee is arbitary. The definition's blurred. If I'm to choose between one evil and another... I'd rather not choose at all" 61 KB JPG >Professor looks stunned, class gives me a round of applause Anyone else had video games help them in real life?

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Anon thinks of a pickup line. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 18 40 KB PNG 03/25/23(Sat)11:33:49 No.896495152 I'm thinking about using a certain pickup line on this alt egirl. >Hey baby, did you know that your hole is my goal? I'm gonna do it bros.

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Anon saves his dog from a Pitbull | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/27/22(Wed)21:03:41 No.69576070 >minding my own business walking my dog >some old lady turns the corner with a little girl that is walking a pitbull >become afraid and nervous and cross the street to avoid them >pass by them and their pitbull BREAKS FREE from the girls hands, runs over, and suddenly latches onto my dog >is shaking my little dog back and forth like a chew toy >scream and beat on the beat with full strength, kick it and pry my dog from it's maw >the old lady and kid rush over and get the dog >scream at her why was she letting a little kid walk that f------ thing >the lady gets mad at me and yells at me to blow it out my ass >take my dog to emergency vet and pay surgery to save him >he survives and I file police report while he's in urgent care >giant investigation, go around to neighbors and canvass neighborhood and find where the pithag owner lives >send her small claims demand letter for the vet bills >she cries poor and tries to say her dog has cancer (LOL) >tell her tough s--- >she pays my dog's bills in full That is why I hate pitbulls. >>69576244 # >>69580524 #

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Anon is "that guy" | /r/Greentext

WZZLIQRs #1, No. 54373048 3/29/23 12:04:46 AM a40 JPG 611x674 55.0 kB Anyone else "that guy" at work? >not part of the social circle/clique. >Not in the group chat >Eats alone >No gossip >No one walks to the parking with me after punching out >No one hates you but no one wants to be with you >No outside work get togethers >All conversation is usually hello or how have you been? And that's it 15 replies

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Anon tells his success story | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/22/18(Thu) 16:49:15 No.44875069 >fap all around my neighborhood, in bushes, behind trees etc 158 KB JPG >get noticed several times >"Police are looking for a man aged 20-30, muscular build" >"muscular build" >tfw finally made it Tell me your success stories, bros

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you're being attacked retard | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 919279T 10/14/1066 22:52:29 No.362756862 Curses! I wish but for rest Here be good folk of Hastings. I awoke for I heareth the chattering of armies and smelleth the scent of smoke and ashes. Dost thou know the cause for my misfortune? >>362757003 # >>362757030 # >>362757332 # >>362757456 # >>362757470 # Anonymous (ID: wi815013 >>362758404 # : Anonymou 10/14/1066 22:53:03 No.362757030 >>362756862 # Thy land is to be besieged, fool

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Anon loves his dad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous EM NOT CRYING 02/28/19(Thu)22:10:02 No.793849895 >be me, 19 >dad got a new job, brings up his old work bench from the downstairs that's been collecting dust Whatcha bringing that upstairs for dad? YEAR RISHT 35 KB JPG "For my new job! Haven't used this thing in forever. Remember these pictures?" >he shows me magnets on the side of the bench of me and my little bro from 10 years ago >cringe but laugh at how I used to look, scrawny f--- with buck teeth bc it was before I had braces >notice he had baseball shaped silly bandz in his bench drawers Damn, this thing really is old! Where'd these come from? "You guys gave them to me so I kept them in there!" he says happily as he rolls it into the next room >sit there and smile as I realize my dad really has cared for my lil bro and I all these years >feel sad because when we were that little my parents were going through a rough divorce, mom manipulated bro and I to hate my dad >replace the sadness with happiness once more, the past is in the past. I love my dad.

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