Anon is one step ahead | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 28 KB JPG 03/10/23(Fri)08:56:47 No.72515517 >be me >cybersecurity analyst >make six figure salary >tell ladies I make a six figure salary >they ask for my name and phone number >I'm too smart to give out my personal information

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon discovers something about the main character of the hit game series Yakuza | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Boymoder 03/10/23(Fri)00:57:38 No.630311938 IMG_20230310_005647.jpg 123 KB JPG Kazuma Kiryu is an autistic icon. He: >has the autism fists >behaves like a retard in almost every scenario >people want to beat him up when they meet him on the street >lacks common sense >is very kind >is very over-the-top about every hobby he has >literally canonically is a pocket circuit race champion : Anonymous 03/10/23(Fri)01:01:23 No.630312272 >is a virgin : Anonymous 03/10/23(Fri)01:09:38 No.630313003 >>630311938 (OP) # Based. Unironically the best autism representation in media

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Anon is going to HR | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: MaoCivhY 79 KB JPG 03/10/23(Fri)09:34:03 No.419114399 >>419092469 (OP) # >Be me, at work. >Some girl going on about woke s---. >Not paying attention. >Hear her talk about "people of color." >Casually say "adjectives and descriptors go before the noun, you wouldn't say people of French." >She jokes "what are you a grammar Nazi?" >She exclaims "oh my God." I think I'm in trouble. >>419115538 # >>419124603 #

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Anon is a silly little rascal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 64 KB JPG spreading time. 03/09/23(Thu)19:59:55 No.72511958 >webcam: disconnected >neighbor's wi-fi: on (heard him say the password a few weeks ago) >incognito mode: open (fbi can't trace me now) >20 sock accounts: logged in Yep, it's hate speech and misinformation

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Anon Is Not A Psychopath | /r/Greentext

03/10/23(Fri)11:55:07 No.72512515 i'm just an average bloke but clearly there's something about me that makes people hella uneasy, because everybody i meet eventually starts cracking jokes about how i'm "probably capable of murder" and other s--- like that. one of my co-workers straight up implied that he knew "what i was" (as in a psychopath). Anonymous 207 KB PNG i have no f------ idea what it is about me that is causing people to think this way but because of it i'm incapable of making friends with normal people. i attract only the mentally ill, freaks, or psychology nerds that think i'm some rare specimen they can observe. anybody else dealing with the same s---? w-- do i do Imao

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Anon can't resist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/23(Thu)16:07:54 No.895601750 simp.jpg 70 KB JPG >mfw I see a bitch wearing thigh-highs

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Lawful discussion. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous : Anonymous hmrsjpg.jpg 178 KB JPG Can't you just avoid this s--- by asking for your lawyer >>26204858 # >>26204862 # 12/28/22(Wed)19:17:07 No.2620473 9F58CF1F-91BC-4C11-A22F-35BCC009B7ED.jpg 17 KB JPG : Anonymous >>26204838 # Explain PRES If you don't comply with the law the law is allowed to do what they want to you in retaliation >>26204867 # HMRS : Anonymous >>26204730 (OP) # This is why I always stop and get an ice cream so I can do the ice cream trick if I get pulled over >>26204887 # 12/28/22(Wed) 20:21:33 No.2620485 >>26204901 # 12/28/22(Wed) 20:11:38 No.26204838 : Anonymous >>26204838 # even if they wait around for you to slurp up an ice cream cone, its not like you'll magically sober up in 10 minutes. unless the goal is that the ice cream masks your booze breath? 12/28/22(Wed) 20:23:05 No.26204858 12/28/22(Wed) 20:25:03 No.26204862 : Anonymous >>26204858 # >cop comes up to your window >your sitting there holding an icecream cone >cops says "show me how you suck a man's c---." >you show him >he c--- in his pants and then lets you go it's an oldschool trick 12/28/22(Wed) 20:26:08 No.2620486 : Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed) 20:34:12 No.2620487 Here refusal to blow is the same as blowing over. Now I just carry a gun. 12/28/22(Wed) 20:35:48 No.26204881 : Anonymous >>26204862 # It's to shrink your tongue back down since the alcohol causes swelling and slurring. The cold will contract the skin so your mouth returns to normal and you're now coherently speaking.

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anon enjoys wood | /r/Greentext

36m (3/9 17:29) 895619314 PNG 473KB (1024x1024) 6 Replies 8 Re - 3 Img image.png 200 the wood enjoyer this is going to sound strange but it's 4chan so f--- it. I've been eating wood nearly all my life, ever since i was about 6 maybe? my mom used to give me wooden spoons to gnaw on as a baby, and stopped around when i was 4. when i eventually got to kindergarten, i was 5-6 years old, and when we had recess i would sneak away to the corner of the playground and chew on the mulch chips on the ground, eventually breaking off pieces and eating them. i would often cut the inside of my mouth because of the chips. this behavior continued until i was about 12 and i would start bringing sticks into the house to bite off pieces before i slept. my parents tried to intervene but i would still find ways to eat more wood. today i'm 23 do waste management for a living. i often go to a home depot or any similar store to buy sheets of plywood and i break them down for my own personal consumption. i have trouble holding a relationship due to this, and i'm having trouble finding a better job because as soon as my employer finds out about my wood addiction, i lose any chance at getting the job. i don't know what to do.

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Anon should SLOW DOWN | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 hours ago Didn't know that 'running' wasn't actually running 47766752 >Be lifting for 2 and a half years >Decide to start doing cardio >People keep shilling c25k, might as well try it >Holy f--- this is hard >Keep failing week 1 >God damn I am unfit, this is pathetic >9 months later >Can only just about get to the 5th week of a 12 week program >Am I disabled? >C25K becomes my life, why the f--- can't I beat this >Every day, trying to complete week 5 >Join running club thinking they can help me >Show up >Everyone is just jogging around the place >w-- is this a warmup or something? >Ask around. Realise what has happened and immediately go home from shame due to my autism >Turns out I was trying to train to full on sprint for 5k WHEN ITS CALLED RUN - NING YOU WOULD THINK YOU ARE MEANT TO RUN, not f------ jog everywhere

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Anon is frustrated with the job market | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/09/23(Thu)17:45:02 No.72510526 >be NEET >"LMAO get a f------ job you loser NEET" >gets a minimum wage because that's all a NEET like me can get >"LMAO get a better paying job you minimum wage wagecuck" There literally is no winning 21 KB JPG

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Anon plays csgo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 76 KB JPG 07/22/22(Fri)02:01:50 No.69500201 >be me casually smurfing on cs >match found >dont hold back at all >dominate the enemy team >ace after ace >more points than the rest of em combined >one of my teammates opens his mic >its a she "Oh my gosh anon-kun thanks for carrying me" >female detected >procced to throw the game like my life depends on it Unlucky >we end up surrendering >female breaks down crying over the mic saying it was her rank-up game

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Anon is a scientist. | /r/Greentext

No.53368273 16 hours ago >>53368235 >>53367471 >[American's] use Fahrenheit and not Celsius because a 0-100 scale of measuring temperature makes a lot more sense to a human. We know that 0 is really f------ cold and 100 is really f------ hot, which makes sense. Celsius, however, is just about how water responds to temperature, and makes no sense when applied to humans. Fahrenheit is for people, Celsius is for water. And I am a people not a water. 25 replies

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Anon travels to another city | /r/Greentext

Anonymous feels good man 806 KB PNG 03/09/23(Thu)12:38:33 No.72503993 >be me >depressed, have no friends >don't go out at all, except when it's necessary >live in a retarded city >people's mind still live in the 40s >people still have a retarded mentality >there is literally nothing in this s----- ass place >been here since i was 7 >family moved here from a big city >still_dont_know_why_the_fuck_they_did_it.png >ffw yesterday >decide to go out and visit the city i used to live in >arrive at the city >what_the_fuck.png >everything has changed, looks like a complete diffrent city >having_good_time.mp4 >tfw i realise i actually LOVE going out and wandering >tfw i'm having a good f------ time >made a few friends along the way >mfw i realise there is nothing wrong with me >mfw i realise my problem is actually the place which i live in >mfw i actually feel good and happy next time you feel depressed just go out and visit a nice city and meet new people and wander. sometimes that's all you need.

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