Anon participated in a raid | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)10:55:53 No.65440704 >4 years ago >crystal cafe raid >post a smug frog with a comment to the effect of "women can't be depressed" >get perma-banned >too lazy to go down to the basement and reset my router >never go there again

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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if you ever have trouble finding the Spook/Nope general remember you can search for it or create a new one! ITT we start with sleep ghost pasta Share your pastas and greentexts below >be 18 >just moved out of my parents >antisocial autist so live alone in dingy apartment >place is the size of a normal persons kitchen >sleep on couch in living room so I can wake up and play Vidya without moving >pass the f--- out playing god of war >in my dream see woman dangling from corner of room >no face >literally blank skin >"anon" >"anon it isn't safe anon" >what the f--- >noface woman floats towards my couch >"anon you have to move" >voice is coming from all directions sounds like a young girl >freaking out i stand up >"anon go outside" >no control over my legs i just start moving outside >wake up as soon as my door opens >no woman >standing outside >all my neighbors are outside >alarm going off There was a f------ gas leak in the building.

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Anon has a guilty conscience | /r/Greentext

09/19/21(Sun)21:26:22 No.156520919 >be a lazy unproductive s--- >avoid NEETdom by going to uni and waste my time on stupid s--- while failing half of my classes every 27 KB JPG semester >doing this for four years now >parents still patient and support me I don't deserve them, boys

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Anon's tracking investment pays off | /r/Greentext

5m (9/20 9:39) · 863436421 2 Re 2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 × 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800O in a month doing this

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Anon needs to find a new gym | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/05/15(Thu)13:06.28 No.34805334 >34805355 >>34805370 >»34805404 >>34805417 >34805423 >>34805491 >>34805507 >34805522 >>34805 File: 1446427570574.jpg (139 KB, 600x404) IT DONT MATTER >be me >like lifting at retarded hours of the night when nobody's in the gym at my sieepy little farm town >not even front desk people >literally lift in just a speedo or my underwear sometimes >make whatever retarded noises I want NINEOETHS MAITERS >its f------ great >however sometimes I get creeped out and think somebody is watching me >a couple times I hear the door move a bit >pass it off as wind/pressure change from the AC or heater >whatever >go back to "HURRRRRUHHHHHHHBLUBLUBLUB" squats >one day decide to pretend I'm macho man randy savage >have coked-out sounding interviews with myself in the mirror >hear giggling behind me >scares the s--- out of me >look in mirror, some girl is decending the stairs >You're hilarious anon >w-- she knows my name >super embarrassed >ind out that she's been here every night1 have >she rides her bike here and stretches in the dance room >she said she just had to meet me, part of what keeps her motivated to go to the gym is me acting silly in the gym and making weird noises >she knows my name because of the times I talk in third person in a British accent and narrate what I'm doing Thave never been more embarrassed in my life. I dont know if I can go back there anymore. She's heard me say things.

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Anon forgot to take his schizo meds | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)23:59:31 No.65444114 >go on date with girl to a restaurant >realize in the middle of the date that I'm not really into her >strongly dislike confrontation >tell her "I'm going to the p w bathroom" 1.7 MB PNG >get in my car and drive home >I don't know how she managed to get home but I'm sure she did somehow Am I a jerk?

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Missionary Impossible | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sorry videoguy! 09/19/21(Sun)19:28:35 No.65445793 >When I was a kid I loved to sneak in the XXX section of the OM VIDEOS rentavideo >There was a purple neon section saying ADULTE top of the wall >Beads instead of a door 245 KB JPG >l would go there with my friends and we would take pictures of boobs. >The guy kept kicking us out and we would make sexual gesture pretending to masturbate by the outdoor windosebay. >He once told us we were permabanned and that he would remember us even when we were 18. >I told the owner that I hoped that by the time we would be 18 he go bankrupt so we would never have to deal with him to watch p--- in our town. >Im sorry videoguy! >l was just a kid >I didnt mean it >But im glad i get to watch p--- for free on my phone >Hope youre doing ok

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Anon is feeling down. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)10:21:05 No.65441941 >support them when they need it >be with them when they need companie >give advice and listen to theyr vents when they need it >be ghosted when I need it 64 KB JPG Is it wrong to expect to be treated the same way you treat others?

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23 (and me) skidoo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)14:15:50 No.65442447 >saw a tall, pale, and skinny (exactly my type) qt at a party last night >heels that showed off her sexy feet >she and I were the only ones not 56 KB JPG dancing >it was a family party so I was afraid we might be related

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Anon tells us about his water landing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous why the fu 12/21/18(Fri)20:34:50 No.4996 >be me >pilot >flying plane with around 155 passengers >suddenly birb flies into plane >shitshitshit.png 37 KB JPG >what do >look at some s----- river >idea.jpg >land the plane into this s----- river >no boom >everyone survives >everyone claps >everyone thanks god >are you f------ kidding me

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Anon remembers a national tragedy | /r/Greentext

293898458.jpg I (47 KB, 500x500) google yandex iqdb wait V0 Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)03:51:12 No.156499136 v >>156499636 >>156501001 >>156501042 >>156501771 >>156502084 >>156504053 >>156504381 >>156504906 >>156505502 >>156506315 >>156506461 >try to use Norm Macdonald's humor in casual conversation at a family gathering >pretend to have a stroke >mom tells dad to call 911 >I snap back to normality >"no don't dial that number it reminds me of that tragedy" >they look at me like I'm retarded >dad sighs >mom sighs >sister cries and parents go console her >i run to my room is this recoverable? Đ Anonymousv

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