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if you ever have trouble finding the Spook/Nope general remember you can search for it or create a new one! ITT we start with sleep ghost pasta Share your pastas and greentexts below >be 18 >just moved out of my parents >antisocial autist so live alone in dingy apartment >place is the size of a normal persons kitchen >sleep on couch in living room so I can wake up and play Vidya without moving >pass the f--- out playing god of war >in my dream see woman dangling from corner of room >no face >literally blank skin >"anon" >"anon it isn't safe anon" >what the f--- >noface woman floats towards my couch >"anon you have to move" >voice is coming from all directions sounds like a young girl >freaking out i stand up >"anon go outside" >no control over my legs i just start moving outside >wake up as soon as my door opens >no woman >standing outside >all my neighbors are outside >alarm going off There was a f------ gas leak in the building.

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File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.

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Anon has a guilty conscience | /r/Greentext

09/19/21(Sun)21:26:22 No.156520919 >be a lazy unproductive s--- >avoid NEETdom by going to uni and waste my time on stupid s--- while failing half of my classes every 27 KB JPG semester >doing this for four years now >parents still patient and support me I don't deserve them, boys

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Anon plays Super Smash Bros | /r/Greentext

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Anon's tracking investment pays off | /r/Greentext

5m (9/20 9:39) · 863436421 2 Re 2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 × 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800O in a month doing this

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Anon needs to find a new gym | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/05/15(Thu)13:06.28 No.34805334 >34805355 >>34805370 >»34805404 >>34805417 >34805423 >>34805491 >>34805507 >34805522 >>34805 File: 1446427570574.jpg (139 KB, 600x404) IT DONT MATTER >be me >like lifting at retarded hours of the night when nobody's in the gym at my sieepy little farm town >not even front desk people >literally lift in just a speedo or my underwear sometimes >make whatever retarded noises I want NINEOETHS MAITERS >its f------ great >however sometimes I get creeped out and think somebody is watching me >a couple times I hear the door move a bit >pass it off as wind/pressure change from the AC or heater >whatever >go back to "HURRRRRUHHHHHHHBLUBLUBLUB" squats >one day decide to pretend I'm macho man randy savage >have coked-out sounding interviews with myself in the mirror >hear giggling behind me >scares the s--- out of me >look in mirror, some girl is decending the stairs >You're hilarious anon >w-- she knows my name >super embarrassed >ind out that she's been here every night1 have >she rides her bike here and stretches in the dance room >she said she just had to meet me, part of what keeps her motivated to go to the gym is me acting silly in the gym and making weird noises >she knows my name because of the times I talk in third person in a British accent and narrate what I'm doing Thave never been more embarrassed in my life. I dont know if I can go back there anymore. She's heard me say things.

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Anon forgot to take his schizo meds | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)23:59:31 No.65444114 >go on date with girl to a restaurant >realize in the middle of the date that I'm not really into her >strongly dislike confrontation >tell her "I'm going to the p w bathroom" 1.7 MB PNG >get in my car and drive home >I don't know how she managed to get home but I'm sure she did somehow Am I a jerk?

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Missionary Impossible | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sorry videoguy! 09/19/21(Sun)19:28:35 No.65445793 >When I was a kid I loved to sneak in the XXX section of the OM VIDEOS rentavideo >There was a purple neon section saying ADULTE top of the wall >Beads instead of a door 245 KB JPG >l would go there with my friends and we would take pictures of boobs. >The guy kept kicking us out and we would make sexual gesture pretending to masturbate by the outdoor windosebay. >He once told us we were permabanned and that he would remember us even when we were 18. >I told the owner that I hoped that by the time we would be 18 he go bankrupt so we would never have to deal with him to watch p--- in our town. >Im sorry videoguy! >l was just a kid >I didnt mean it >But im glad i get to watch p--- for free on my phone >Hope youre doing ok

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Anon is feeling down. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)10:21:05 No.65441941 >support them when they need it >be with them when they need companie >give advice and listen to theyr vents when they need it >be ghosted when I need it 64 KB JPG Is it wrong to expect to be treated the same way you treat others?

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23 (and me) skidoo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)14:15:50 No.65442447 >saw a tall, pale, and skinny (exactly my type) qt at a party last night >heels that showed off her sexy feet >she and I were the only ones not 56 KB JPG dancing >it was a family party so I was afraid we might be related

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Anon tells us about his water landing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous why the fu 12/21/18(Fri)20:34:50 No.4996 >be me >pilot >flying plane with around 155 passengers >suddenly birb flies into plane >shitshitshit.png 37 KB JPG >what do >look at some s----- river >idea.jpg >land the plane into this s----- river >no boom >everyone survives >everyone claps >everyone thanks god >are you f------ kidding me

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Anon remembers a national tragedy | /r/Greentext

293898458.jpg I (47 KB, 500x500) google yandex iqdb wait V0 Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)03:51:12 No.156499136 v >>156499636 >>156501001 >>156501042 >>156501771 >>156502084 >>156504053 >>156504381 >>156504906 >>156505502 >>156506315 >>156506461 >try to use Norm Macdonald's humor in casual conversation at a family gathering >pretend to have a stroke >mom tells dad to call 911 >I snap back to normality >"no don't dial that number it reminds me of that tragedy" >they look at me like I'm retarded >dad sighs >mom sighs >sister cries and parents go console her >i run to my room is this recoverable? Đ Anonymousv

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HIYAAAAHH! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)11:02:10 No.863397023 Imagine getting arrested by Link. It'd be hilarious watching him struggle to read your rights. >You >h-have 75 KB JPG >the >r-r-ri-HIYAAAHH! >KWAYUGGH! >YAH! >t-t-t-t-t-to remHASOYAH! FUCKYEAAH!! Then after all that you find out you're going to the shadow temple for all eternity. Hyrule is a f------ roller coaster.

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Anon is enlightened | /r/Greentext

No. 65436800 09/19/21(Sun)01:30:13 images.jpg 7 KB 194x259 >be me >can't get girlfriend >depressed and jealous every time I see a 10/10 >train my brain to hate women, and despise them >now I don't care about them one bit Your turn, ladies 2 replies, 0 images

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Greentext Stories - Anon avoids death | /r/Greentext

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if you ever have trouble finding the Spook/Nope general remember you can search for it or create a new one! ITT we start with sleep ghost pasta Share your pastas and greentexts below >be 18 >just moved out of my parents >antisocial autist so live alone in dingy apartment >place is the size of a normal persons kitchen >sleep on couch in living room so I can wake up and play Vidya without moving >pass the f--- out playing god of war >in my dream see woman dangling from corner of room >no face >literally blank skin >"anon" >"anon it isn't safe anon" >what the f--- >noface woman floats towards my couch >"anon you have to move" >voice is coming from all directions sounds like a young girl >freaking out i stand up >"anon go outside" >no control over my legs i just start moving outside >wake up as soon as my door opens >no woman >standing outside >all my neighbors are outside >alarm going off There was a f------ gas leak in the building.

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