Anon avoids death | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

if you ever have trouble finding the Spook/Nope general remember you can search for it or create a new one! ITT we start with sleep ghost pasta Share your pastas and greentexts below >be 18 >just moved out of my parents >antisocial autist so live alone in dingy apartment >place is the size of a normal persons kitchen >sleep on couch in living room so I can wake up and play Vidya without moving >pass the f--- out playing god of war >in my dream see woman dangling from corner of room >no face >literally blank skin >"anon" >"anon it isn't safe anon" >what the f--- >noface woman floats towards my couch >"anon you have to move" >voice is coming from all directions sounds like a young girl >freaking out i stand up >"anon go outside" >no control over my legs i just start moving outside >wake up as soon as my door opens >no woman >standing outside >all my neighbors are outside >alarm going off There was a f------ gas leak in the building.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon has a guilty conscience | /r/Greentext

09/19/21(Sun)21:26:22 No.156520919 >be a lazy unproductive s--- >avoid NEETdom by going to uni and waste my time on stupid s--- while failing half of my classes every 27 KB JPG semester >doing this for four years now >parents still patient and support me I don't deserve them, boys

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Anon plays Super Smash Bros | /r/Greentext

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Anon's tracking investment pays off | /r/Greentext

5m (9/20 9:39) · 863436421 2 Re 2 Img JPG 1MB (1080 × 2220) 1 Reply >superglue GPS tracker to bicycle >leave it unlocked infront of my apartment >wait for people to steal it >chase them in my car, get out and kick their ass >take their wallets >repeat I made $800O in a month doing this

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Anon needs to find a new gym | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 11/05/15(Thu)13:06.28 No.34805334 >34805355 >>34805370 >»34805404 >>34805417 >34805423 >>34805491 >>34805507 >34805522 >>34805 File: 1446427570574.jpg (139 KB, 600x404) IT DONT MATTER >be me >like lifting at retarded hours of the night when nobody's in the gym at my sieepy little farm town >not even front desk people >literally lift in just a speedo or my underwear sometimes >make whatever retarded noises I want NINEOETHS MAITERS >its f------ great >however sometimes I get creeped out and think somebody is watching me >a couple times I hear the door move a bit >pass it off as wind/pressure change from the AC or heater >whatever >go back to "HURRRRRUHHHHHHHBLUBLUBLUB" squats >one day decide to pretend I'm macho man randy savage >have coked-out sounding interviews with myself in the mirror >hear giggling behind me >scares the s--- out of me >look in mirror, some girl is decending the stairs >You're hilarious anon >w-- she knows my name >super embarrassed >ind out that she's been here every night1 have >she rides her bike here and stretches in the dance room >she said she just had to meet me, part of what keeps her motivated to go to the gym is me acting silly in the gym and making weird noises >she knows my name because of the times I talk in third person in a British accent and narrate what I'm doing Thave never been more embarrassed in my life. I dont know if I can go back there anymore. She's heard me say things.

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Anon forgot to take his schizo meds | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)23:59:31 No.65444114 >go on date with girl to a restaurant >realize in the middle of the date that I'm not really into her >strongly dislike confrontation >tell her "I'm going to the p w bathroom" 1.7 MB PNG >get in my car and drive home >I don't know how she managed to get home but I'm sure she did somehow Am I a jerk?

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Missionary Impossible | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Sorry videoguy! 09/19/21(Sun)19:28:35 No.65445793 >When I was a kid I loved to sneak in the XXX section of the OM VIDEOS rentavideo >There was a purple neon section saying ADULTE top of the wall >Beads instead of a door 245 KB JPG >l would go there with my friends and we would take pictures of boobs. >The guy kept kicking us out and we would make sexual gesture pretending to masturbate by the outdoor windosebay. >He once told us we were permabanned and that he would remember us even when we were 18. >I told the owner that I hoped that by the time we would be 18 he go bankrupt so we would never have to deal with him to watch p--- in our town. >Im sorry videoguy! >l was just a kid >I didnt mean it >But im glad i get to watch p--- for free on my phone >Hope youre doing ok

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Anon is feeling down. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)10:21:05 No.65441941 >support them when they need it >be with them when they need companie >give advice and listen to theyr vents when they need it >be ghosted when I need it 64 KB JPG Is it wrong to expect to be treated the same way you treat others?

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23 (and me) skidoo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)14:15:50 No.65442447 >saw a tall, pale, and skinny (exactly my type) qt at a party last night >heels that showed off her sexy feet >she and I were the only ones not 56 KB JPG dancing >it was a family party so I was afraid we might be related

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Anon tells us about his water landing | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous why the fu 12/21/18(Fri)20:34:50 No.4996 >be me >pilot >flying plane with around 155 passengers >suddenly birb flies into plane >shitshitshit.png 37 KB JPG >what do >look at some s----- river >idea.jpg >land the plane into this s----- river >no boom >everyone survives >everyone claps >everyone thanks god >are you f------ kidding me

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Anon remembers a national tragedy | /r/Greentext

293898458.jpg I (47 KB, 500x500) google yandex iqdb wait V0 Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)03:51:12 No.156499136 v >>156499636 >>156501001 >>156501042 >>156501771 >>156502084 >>156504053 >>156504381 >>156504906 >>156505502 >>156506315 >>156506461 >try to use Norm Macdonald's humor in casual conversation at a family gathering >pretend to have a stroke >mom tells dad to call 911 >I snap back to normality >"no don't dial that number it reminds me of that tragedy" >they look at me like I'm retarded >dad sighs >mom sighs >sister cries and parents go console her >i run to my room is this recoverable? Đ Anonymousv

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HIYAAAAHH! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/19/21(Sun)11:02:10 No.863397023 Imagine getting arrested by Link. It'd be hilarious watching him struggle to read your rights. >You >h-have 75 KB JPG >the >r-r-ri-HIYAAAHH! >KWAYUGGH! >YAH! >t-t-t-t-t-to remHASOYAH! FUCKYEAAH!! Then after all that you find out you're going to the shadow temple for all eternity. Hyrule is a f------ roller coaster.

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Anon is enlightened | /r/Greentext

No. 65436800 09/19/21(Sun)01:30:13 images.jpg 7 KB 194x259 >be me >can't get girlfriend >depressed and jealous every time I see a 10/10 >train my brain to hate women, and despise them >now I don't care about them one bit Your turn, ladies 2 replies, 0 images

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