Anon hates Burger King | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 03/06/23(Mon)14:45:11 No.19016077 Burger King >looks like it should taste good >smells like it should taste good >priced like it should taste good It's the most bland, flavorless fast good you can get. Bland burger, watered down "soda" and cold fries without fail every time I get it.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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You DO use a bread machine, right? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: IUSY4j4b /gag/ Goyslop Avoidance Genera(...) 03/06/23(Mon)12:00:50 No.418689652 Why haven't you bought a bread machine yet anons? >ingredients are dirt cheap >zero bugs >zero sneed oils >zero effort 198 KB JPG >slop your ingredients into the machine >4 hours later you get some of the tastiest bread you've ever had. Also these things can be picked up second hand for no money. So anon, what are you doing to avoid being poisoned by the jews today?

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Anon misses his cheese | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 59 KB PNG >need cheese 03/06/23 (Mon)14:52:06 No.895455717 >be me >5 years old >come back from school >feelin' tired af >make a cheese sandwich >accidentally drop it >tears start flowin' >cried so hard >mama sees me cryin' >asks what's wrong >tell her about my cheese sandwich >mama makes me a new one >tries to cheer me up >but I can't eat it >too busy mournin' my first sandwich >RIP sandwich, you will be missed

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Anon tries coffee for the first time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 4 KB JPG 03/06/23 (Mon)14:56:27 No.72471393 >Be me, never have drank coffee before >Decide one day to try it >Its ok I guess Mfw when suddenly my face gets hot and my back starts to crawl. What is this super power?

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Anon has an iphone | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/06/23 (Mon)19:22:08 No.72467475 [Reply] ► >be me >phone screen broke recently >ordered a new one >wrong one technically but still fits so whatever >few weeks later, this morning >squat down to pet my dog and phone falls out of my pocket >screen falls off >try to put it back on but Im a retard and pinch one of the cables between the screen and the phone >completely severs the cable, iPhone X I paid too much money for now completely f----- >mfw Posting this off my s--- ass iPhone 5 from 2012. Day is off to a great start, huh?

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anon realises grind is for nothing | /r/Greentext

>30lvl >born in russian hell >fat spoiled kid >no father WONT FIX >overprotective retard mother that treated me like a pet >bullied through entire school and early adulthood (kinda justified, imagine dealing with fat spoiled kid with ADHD) >developed sociopathy, paranoia and a bunch of other mental illnesses by 20 >emotions degraded to the point I could be absolutely fine alone >at 26 got bored of anime and videogames and started learning programming >got a job, moved out, promotions every year >moved to EU >happiest men on earth >went on a couple of LSD trips, cured apathy and social anxiety >decided it's time to get a gf >full of optimism, excited for the future >went to gym, got nice clothes, started looking like a human being >2 months of ghosting on date apps >no girl wants to date with mentally ill average guy >thanks to restored emotions it's no longer feels fine to be alone >try to talk with people, show interest in them, try to understand their feeling, make friends >they show no interest in me whatsoever, I'm a ghost if I don't talk to them first, >realize I was happier without emotions >realize it was all for nothing

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Anon is a musician | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/06/23 (Mon)14:22:18 No.895454107 33 KB JPG >Be me >Have dream about making music >Accidentally create two songs >One has weird beat, other has cringey acapella lyrics >Try to go back to beat song >Somehow restart both songs and they play together >Magic happens >New really good song is born >Wake up, feeling excited to recreate the song in real life >Realize the details are fading from memory >Spend the rest of the day trying to recall the song >End up with nothing but a vague sense of loss and regret

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Anons vidya revenge. | /r/Greentext

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Anon fools the woke pricing market | /r/Greentext

>be me >midwestfag so not used to the woke pricing market >typically spend $9 on a meal plus a $2 tip >drive to big city 2 hrs away full of wokies 279 KB PNG >eat at restaurant >get like 7 ounces of food for $29 >realizesomething.mp3 >you can literally just not pay and walk out. They don't know who i am because i'm not from big city >literally just don't pay and get a fre small meal >holyfuckingshititworksguys.ogg Take the dine-n-dash pills,anons

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Anon learns that life isn't like anime | /r/Greentext

File: main-qimg-b15a3d253ed7c13(...).jpg (69 KB, 500x456) Anonymous 03/06/23 (Mon)17:56:24 No.70180663 >Finishing the day with chin ups >Last set, about to fail >Think about Goku training in the gravity machine >MOTIVATED >Manage to finish all reps >Hell yeah >Immediately vomit Man f--- this s--- no one ever vomited in Dragon Ball Z

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anon is very generous | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: P6eq5TtV ONE F------ H------ 1.34 MB JPG PLEASE ANONS WEAR LATEX-SENSITIVE GLOVES WHEN GIVING HANDJOBS TO HOMELESS PEOPLE 08/03/22(Wed)04:13:19 No.389487827 That's all it took, one h------ after probably 20 years of not giving Handjobs to the Homeless. There was a qt homeless man who I thought I should help out so gave him a standard h------. Blisters have started this morning, by this afternoon the main part where his semen touched me has expanded 20x. : Anonymous (ID: 95Ze1vNo PRE >>389510375 # >>389487827 (OP) # Bless you for your service to the less fortunate <3 08/03/22(Wed)04:14:54 No.389487943 1.62 MB JPG : Anonymous (ID: P6eq5TtV) 08/03/22(Wed)04:15:14 No.389487961 sorry better pic

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Anon dislikes society | /r/Greentext

Women's sexual partners before 40% 30% 30% 25% 20% TEN ON 0% partners their first marriage i REALLY wish we were born in a different era 1partner 4-5 partner Anonymous 03/06/23 (Mon)05:18:43 No.72463014 [Reply] virgins before m 1990 2000 Source National Survey of Family Grow >tattoos >all women dressed like sluts >hyper sexual society >women had to find jobs and husbands instead of stripping online >yoga pants >literal high s----------- walking around in bras and lingerie >no smartphones >no trannies >no $2000 rent + 10 replies omitted. Click here to view. Anonymous 03/06/23(Mon)09:17:10 No.72465428 >>72464752 Thats woman logic for ya.

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Anon is sensitive | /r/Greentext

O Anonymous 03/05/23 (Sun)14:31:54 No.895391176 File: 358363543.gif (1.14 MB, 498x424) >>895386946 (OP) >i poo poo myself haha expressive verbiage about childish topic funny xd I hate you lying n------ with a passion so let me tell a real true story >going to the gym one day >always stop by gas station on the way there and get an energy drink >see this new kind that I've never tried before >"C4 Energy" with something called "CarnoSyn" which at the time I did not realize was beta-alanine >why not, buy one to try it >drink it on my way there >check into the gym and start doing back and shoulders >by the time I finish my overhead press I can feel my back starting to tingle >w--.jpg >few minutes later, entire back feels like it's on fire >tingling sensation is now moving into arms and legs >figure the feeling will go away if I do more reps >continue my workout but the sensation only gets stronger >can't even focus anymore, my entire back feels like it's being scraped with rusty nails >can't take it anymore >rip my shirt off and rush over to the water fountain >start spraying my back with ice cold water in front of everyone >gymbunny looking at me, can't tell if she was mirin or in shock >another gymbro comes over and asks me what the f--- I'm doing >can only reply with "IT FEELS LIKE ACID ON MY BACK" >gym owner thought I was high on crack or something >tingling sensation lasts for 3 hours, went to hospital, found out I'm extremely sensitive to beta-alanine >never go back to that gym

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