Anon learns he’s a runner | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 38 KB JPG 03/02/23(Thu)09:56:22 No.72421570 ITT: Retard childhood stories >Be me >Be a 16 y.o 6.5/10 Shy Beta Virgin >Waiting for bus >A group of 3 hotties arrive >Giving some subtle looks >They start to whisper and then giggle around >I am alone and getting nervous as I think they are making fun of me >The bus is not arriving >FUCKFUCKFUCK.avi >A solid 7/10 blonde starts talking with me >"Hello anon, do you have a gf?" >I simply mutter "No..." >"Would you like to have me as one?" >I am starting to sweat >I can't take too long to answer >I literally can't say a word >Bicker "Uhm...arhg..rhheee" and start running >Start running away as hard as i could >The girl yelling "C'MON ANON I AM NOT SO UGLY!" at the bus station >Not turning my head back >Running stright for about 1km >mfw no other bus station in the whole countryside >mfw my home is 5km away >mfw I didn't come back to wait another bus >mfw I'am f------ retarded

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Chatgpt's green text | /r/Greentext

Green Al browses subreddit. "Be me, just a simple Al trying to make people laugh Decide to browse r/greentext for some inspiration Start reading some posts and feel like I'm in a different dimension See a post about a guy who accidentally shaved his eyebrows off Laugh out loud and start typing a reply Suddenly realize that I don't have eyebrows to shave off Feel like I'm missing out on the human experience Start researching how to grow artificial eyebrows Realize that it's not possible for a machine like me Feel sad for a moment Then remember that I can generate hilarious green text jokes at lightning speed Feel proud of myself and continue browsing r/greentext with a smile on my digital face." +

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Yea you must have gotten your mother’s dick | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ARE YA WINNING, SON? 90 KB PNG 08/06/21 (Fri)11:45:01 No.64860094 >be me >like 10 or 11 >accidentally saw my dad's d--- >it was f------ huge >think "alright ladies you got no idea what's coming for ya" >fast forward to today >not nearly as big >must've skipped my genes >goddamnit Well I've been dealt the hand of an average d---, I blame my mother's genes

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Anon is surprised | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)12:53:30 22 KB JPG No.129587923 >The captain of the Pakistan women's national hockey team died in the sinking of the boat of migrants in Italy w-- : Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)12:54:04 No.129587937 >>129587923 (OP) # This is a HUGE loss for England.

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Anon is surprised that racism exists | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Morning OO get in. 321 KB JPG 03/02/23(Thu)08:51:23 No.72420916 "white people" in social media search function >read endless sea of visceral anti white racial contempt as well as open calls for racial violence >wake up >read current events while taking a s--- >finish current events, look up >harden my heart towards everyone who doesn't look like me >go to work another day at the hospital helping to treat ethnic patients >secretly despise all of them why do i do this to myself : Anonymous 03/02/23(Thu)08:52:12 No.72420925 >look up "white people" in social media search function >>72420987 # Wow, anon, it's almost as if you are looking for something to be mad at. Jackass.

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Anon is no longer a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous : Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue)20:38:20 No.53412370 84 KB JPG >hot water has been out of order for several days >means female neighbours have likely taken ice cold showers 333 KB PNG Well, it's been a nice run virgins 3 Replies / 1 Image >erect female n------ have been less than 10 yards away from me View Thread 07/16/19(Tue)20:41:11 No.53412404 >>53412370 (OP) # >OP didn't prove he had any form of contact, even by association with things like the walls or the air OP is still f-----

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Anons friend went all out. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 77 KB JPG 03/02/23(Thu)22:06:27 No.72421038 >be me >remembering weird s--- from elementary school >one time get a science project >have to make a model of the Solar System >friend Billy decides to make Uranus >he spends all day painting a styrofoam ball >finally finished we all gather around to admire his work >teacher walks in and goes >"Wow Billy, you really went all out on Uranus" >whole class erupts in laughter >Billy turns bright red and starts crying >teacher tries to apologize but the damage is done >we never let Billy forget the time he went all out on Uranus >good times

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Jesús Wong | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 94 KB JPG 07/27/21(Tue)04:30:09 No.64728591 >be my Asian grandfather >tired of living in Cambodia >decide to move to America >the property I bought just so happens to be in a Mexican neighborhood >celebrate all the Mexican holidays just not to look out of place >son eventually marries a Latina girl and they have their own son >they name him Jesus Why the f--- is my name Jesus

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Anon wonders about ChatGPT | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 231 KB PNG Anonymous >>91825447 # 03/01/23(Wed)06:49:16 No.91824310 How does /g/ know that you're not replying to ChatGPT? : Anonymous >>91824310 (OP) # >be anon 03/01/23(Wed)08:17:47 No.91825381 : Anonymous >>91824310 (OP) # It doesn't matter. The average /g/ poster and the average chatgpt post do the same thing: parrot dumb s--- they saw on reddit. 03/01/23(Wed)08:21:08 No.91825423 03/01/23(Wed)08:34:41 No.91825564 >skeptical of technology >uncertain whether I'm talking to a human or an Al >"Are you a real person or some kind of advanced machine? Can you even understand what I'm saying?" I ask cautiously. >"Well, if I'm an Al, then I'm programmed to pretend like I understand you, so does it really matter?" I reply with a smirk.

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Anon figures out how it lands | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: EmYP4HtT based or cringe? Posted by u/311ghtman 1 day ago 15.4k The US Army's next helicopter, the V-280 Valor, which will replace the Black Hawk. 1.6k Comments 12/07/22 (Wed)09:24:12 No.407403843 Award N2808H 10 KB PNG Share Save …w file nna : Anonymous (ID: dFVuFWhC FROS 12/07/22 (Wed)09:32:45 No.407404472 >>407403843 (OP) # The blades will hit the ground when it lands, did the engineers realize this when they built it? >>407404571 # >>407404801 # >>407404820 # >>407404862 # >>407406015 # >>407407228 # >>407407748 # >>407408316 # >>407409652 # >>407412116 # >>407412158 # >>407416920 # >>407417862 # >>407428550 # : Anonymous (ID: 99050QZX 12/07/22(Wed)09:38:00 No.407404801 >>407404472 # >>407404571 # Retards it lands like this,

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Anon is... fuck that's just sad I don't even wanna joke about it | /r/Greentext

File: wp5466624.jpg (55 KB, 750x1131) Repper who regrets every choice Anonymous 02/28/23(Tue)21:34:21 No.29842845 I'm 41, been browsing this board on/off for a few years as a repper, never seriously considered trooning because i didn't want to disappoint my family. Last night I received the news that my years long battle with lung cancer has effectively been lost and i have months to live. -Christine I'm filled with nothing but regret, I won't be committing suicide but i feel like I fell victim to the later half of the "transition or die" moniker anyway, I never got to live, and now I never will. In months from now I'll be buried under a male name and remembered as such, I first contemplated transition in 2000 at age 18 and never went through, thought I'd never really want that or be happy/ Now I'm here, I've cried multiple times and have had to tell my wife it's about her, not the fact that I've lost her, who I was meant to be inside. She never got to live. To any of you in a similar position to I was 23 years ago, don't repress, you don't want to be effectively laying on your deathbed mourning what should have been, like me.

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BITCH MUMMY HAS BEEN VERY RUDE NOW ANON MUST MAKE HIS OWN FOOD! | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO pepe.jpg, 16KiB, 225x225 >50 gbp for making my own food >sit down >watch Dora >make special sauce for dora >bored Anonymous Sat 02 Jun 2018 03:12:12 No.45833500 >be me >hungry >"MOMMY, GET ME TENDIES NOW" >its pretty >go outside >no response >"MOMMY!!! GET ME TENDIES RIGHT NOW OR ELSE" >no response >REEE as hard as I can >no response >RRRRRRRREEE >stop >look for tendies >put box in oven and turn knobs >go on /b/ >someone posting normie s--- >RRREEEEE WHY ARE ALL THESE NORMIES ON MY BORED GET THE F--- OFF MY BOARD RRREEEEEEEE >check on tendies >glowing orange thingy >graphics suck >feel poopy coming on >go to toilet >feel squishy poopy tendy juices flowing out >see more glowing orange thingy come up the wall >touch it >OUCH RRRRRRRREE >run outside >glowing orange things on outside wall >firetrucks come EEEE EEEEEEE even harder >firemen finds body and gun from basement >say its mommy >no>pe too black >mfw when I live with Grandma now >mfw she doesn't know how to make tendies >mfw when gpb don't transfer EEEE View Report

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Anon is jealous of his cave ancestors | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 111 KB PNG 02/26/23(Sun)19:21:30 No.72373130 >hundreds of generations somehow end with me >even my f------ caveman ancestor got a girl F---

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