Yea you must have gotten your mother’s d--- | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous ARE YA WINNING, SON? 90 KB PNG 08/06/21 (Fri)11:45:01 No.64860094 >be me >like 10 or 11 >accidentally saw my dad's d--- >it was f------ huge >think "alright ladies you got no idea what's coming for ya" >fast forward to today >not nearly as big >must've skipped my genes >goddamnit Well I've been dealt the hand of an average d---, I blame my mother's genes

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon is surprised | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)12:53:30 22 KB JPG No.129587923 >The captain of the Pakistan women's national hockey team died in the sinking of the boat of migrants in Italy w-- : Anonymous 03/01/23(Wed)12:54:04 No.129587937 >>129587923 (OP) # This is a HUGE loss for England.

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Anon is surprised that racism exists | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Morning OO get in. 321 KB JPG 03/02/23(Thu)08:51:23 No.72420916 "white people" in social media search function >read endless sea of visceral anti white racial contempt as well as open calls for racial violence >wake up >read current events while taking a s--- >finish current events, look up >harden my heart towards everyone who doesn't look like me >go to work another day at the hospital helping to treat ethnic patients >secretly despise all of them why do i do this to myself : Anonymous 03/02/23(Thu)08:52:12 No.72420925 >look up "white people" in social media search function >>72420987 # Wow, anon, it's almost as if you are looking for something to be mad at. Jackass.

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Anon is no longer a virgin | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous : Anonymous 07/16/19(Tue)20:38:20 No.53412370 84 KB JPG >hot water has been out of order for several days >means female neighbours have likely taken ice cold showers 333 KB PNG Well, it's been a nice run virgins 3 Replies / 1 Image >erect female n------ have been less than 10 yards away from me View Thread 07/16/19(Tue)20:41:11 No.53412404 >>53412370 (OP) # >OP didn't prove he had any form of contact, even by association with things like the walls or the air OP is still f-----

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Anons friend went all out. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 77 KB JPG 03/02/23(Thu)22:06:27 No.72421038 >be me >remembering weird s--- from elementary school >one time get a science project >have to make a model of the Solar System >friend Billy decides to make Uranus >he spends all day painting a styrofoam ball >finally finished we all gather around to admire his work >teacher walks in and goes >"Wow Billy, you really went all out on Uranus" >whole class erupts in laughter >Billy turns bright red and starts crying >teacher tries to apologize but the damage is done >we never let Billy forget the time he went all out on Uranus >good times

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Jesús Wong | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 94 KB JPG 07/27/21(Tue)04:30:09 No.64728591 >be my Asian grandfather >tired of living in Cambodia >decide to move to America >the property I bought just so happens to be in a Mexican neighborhood >celebrate all the Mexican holidays just not to look out of place >son eventually marries a Latina girl and they have their own son >they name him Jesus Why the f--- is my name Jesus

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Anon wonders about ChatGPT | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 231 KB PNG Anonymous >>91825447 # 03/01/23(Wed)06:49:16 No.91824310 How does /g/ know that you're not replying to ChatGPT? : Anonymous >>91824310 (OP) # >be anon 03/01/23(Wed)08:17:47 No.91825381 : Anonymous >>91824310 (OP) # It doesn't matter. The average /g/ poster and the average chatgpt post do the same thing: parrot dumb s--- they saw on reddit. 03/01/23(Wed)08:21:08 No.91825423 03/01/23(Wed)08:34:41 No.91825564 >skeptical of technology >uncertain whether I'm talking to a human or an Al >"Are you a real person or some kind of advanced machine? Can you even understand what I'm saying?" I ask cautiously. >"Well, if I'm an Al, then I'm programmed to pretend like I understand you, so does it really matter?" I reply with a smirk.

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Anon figures out how it lands | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: EmYP4HtT based or cringe? Posted by u/311ghtman 1 day ago 15.4k The US Army's next helicopter, the V-280 Valor, which will replace the Black Hawk. 1.6k Comments 12/07/22 (Wed)09:24:12 No.407403843 Award N2808H 10 KB PNG Share Save …w file nna : Anonymous (ID: dFVuFWhC FROS 12/07/22 (Wed)09:32:45 No.407404472 >>407403843 (OP) # The blades will hit the ground when it lands, did the engineers realize this when they built it? >>407404571 # >>407404801 # >>407404820 # >>407404862 # >>407406015 # >>407407228 # >>407407748 # >>407408316 # >>407409652 # >>407412116 # >>407412158 # >>407416920 # >>407417862 # >>407428550 # : Anonymous (ID: 99050QZX 12/07/22(Wed)09:38:00 No.407404801 >>407404472 # >>407404571 # Retards it lands like this,

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Anon is... fuck that's just sad I don't even wanna joke about it | /r/Greentext

File: wp5466624.jpg (55 KB, 750x1131) Repper who regrets every choice Anonymous 02/28/23(Tue)21:34:21 No.29842845 I'm 41, been browsing this board on/off for a few years as a repper, never seriously considered trooning because i didn't want to disappoint my family. Last night I received the news that my years long battle with lung cancer has effectively been lost and i have months to live. -Christine I'm filled with nothing but regret, I won't be committing suicide but i feel like I fell victim to the later half of the "transition or die" moniker anyway, I never got to live, and now I never will. In months from now I'll be buried under a male name and remembered as such, I first contemplated transition in 2000 at age 18 and never went through, thought I'd never really want that or be happy/ Now I'm here, I've cried multiple times and have had to tell my wife it's about her, not the fact that I've lost her, who I was meant to be inside. She never got to live. To any of you in a similar position to I was 23 years ago, don't repress, you don't want to be effectively laying on your deathbed mourning what should have been, like me.

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BITCH MUMMY HAS BEEN VERY RUDE NOW ANON MUST MAKE HIS OWN FOOD! | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb SauceNAO pepe.jpg, 16KiB, 225x225 >50 gbp for making my own food >sit down >watch Dora >make special sauce for dora >bored Anonymous Sat 02 Jun 2018 03:12:12 No.45833500 >be me >hungry >"MOMMY, GET ME TENDIES NOW" >its pretty >go outside >no response >"MOMMY!!! GET ME TENDIES RIGHT NOW OR ELSE" >no response >REEE as hard as I can >no response >RRRRRRRREEE >stop >look for tendies >put box in oven and turn knobs >go on /b/ >someone posting normie s--- >RRREEEEE WHY ARE ALL THESE NORMIES ON MY BORED GET THE F--- OFF MY BOARD RRREEEEEEEE >check on tendies >glowing orange thingy >graphics suck >feel poopy coming on >go to toilet >feel squishy poopy tendy juices flowing out >see more glowing orange thingy come up the wall >touch it >OUCH RRRRRRRREE >run outside >glowing orange things on outside wall >firetrucks come EEEE EEEEEEE even harder >firemen finds body and gun from basement >say its mommy >no>pe too black >mfw when I live with Grandma now >mfw she doesn't know how to make tendies >mfw when gpb don't transfer EEEE View Report

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Anon is jealous of his cave ancestors | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 111 KB PNG 02/26/23(Sun)19:21:30 No.72373130 >hundreds of generations somehow end with me >even my f------ caveman ancestor got a girl F---

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Anon watches YouTube. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 03/02/23(Thu)16:16:00 No.72418907 >watching a cooking video >suddenly an ad >"Hey guys, have you heard of Raid Shadow Legends?" >me: "No, but I have heard of the skip button" >5 minutes later 4 KB JPG >"Protect your privacy with NordVPN!" >me: "How about protecting my sanity from these ads" >30 seconds into a new video >"Get 20% off your first MANSCAPED order with the code SOIBOI" >can we get some sponsors that are relevant to the content we're watching?

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Anon kicks off the new year. Sorry I’m late I was in a coma | /r/Greentext

>2 hours into 2023 >Take a s--- >Ass bleeds Off to a good start.

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