Anon wants to do Uber Eats | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous HAHAHA I'VE HAD ENOUGH! 02/26/23(Sun)18:28:50 No.72374689 14C955AE-6287-41EE-B1A7-CD4657743A30.jpg 575 KB JPG >wanna do uber eats >too shy to take a picture of my face Well, f---. Normgrels gatekeeping financial freedom once again.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon doesn't understand mailboxes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 644 KB JPG 04/19/22(Tue)00:14:47 No.876550 >go to work >come home >mailbox is magically full of letters from "real people" no way anyone actually believes this st

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Take the femboy pill, anon. It's your best hope. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/14/21(Tue)13:04:33 No.65378421 27 KB JPG >be me(5¹7) >met up with friends two days ago >one of them is a 5'1 girl, very petite >noticed she was wearing heels, 4-5 inches give or take >she gets up from her seat and we are almost eye-to eye, maybe she is slightly taller >goes in for a hug >had to slightly tiptoe to hug her >completely distraught for the rest of the evening >measure myself when I get home >barely 5'5.5 Imagine getting heightmogged by a girl who weighs like 115 lbs.

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Anon leaked the next spiderman movie plot | /r/Greentext

20211119_060819.jpg 186 KB JPG *peter parker enters j.jonah jameson office* >i got the spiderman pictures mr jameson *jonah throw the divorce papers away and quickly grab the pics from peter hand* >ahhh yes peter these are the pictures.. i was waiting for, look at his huge c---, god i bet when he masturbate he need both hands to grab it, yeees *peter takes the pictures from jonah hand* >not so fast mr jameson, this is naked spiderman, i want triple the money this time >and you shall get it peter, now GIVE THEM BACK!! *peter hand them back* >leave peter, and close the door.. *5 minutes later* *spiderman watching jonah masturbating from the window, jonah doesn't realise* >oh gosh spidey why don't you just start an onlyfans, i hate you so much ahhhhh *spiderman break the window and barge into the office with a HUGE boner* >why start an onlyfans when i only need one guy? and that's you silly *jonah stand up* >shall we begin spidey? *hardcore gay sex on the desk* >ahh yes spiderman kill my ass like that thug killed your uncle *spiderman shed a single tear, but continued f------ for 30 minutes* >that was amazing spidey >you were also amazing jonah, but can you do something for me? >anything spidey... >i want to you publish... *spiderman whisper it into jonah ear* >no problem *the next day people get the newspaper* the main headline: spiderman is amazing at sex, and he have a HUGE c--- FIN

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Sneed ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ | /r/Greentext

index.jpg, 35KiB, 680x382 /pol/ Anonymous ID: 6dPwADeY Sun 16 Oct 2022 06:13:28 No.400067551 Replies: 5 IT STARTS WITH One sneed To feed and seed It doesn't even matter how hard you seethe Keep that in mind, I designed this post to explain in due time ALL I KNOW Sneed is a valuable thing Watch it feed by as the pendulum swings Watch it seed down to the end of the day The clock chucks life away IT'S SO UNREAL You didn't sneed out below Watch the time go right out the seedow Tryin' to feed on, they didn't even know I wasted it all just to SUCK AND F--- View I kept everything inside And even though I tried, it all fell apart What it meant to me will formerly be a memory Of a time when SEETHED SO HARD

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I posted this on 4Chan, thought y'all might like this as well. | /r/Greentext

6:06 boards.4channel.org ԵԱՀ UND D File: 20230129_140351.jpg (3.27 MB, 4000x3000) AUTOMATIC F MULERTS 4G 40% 02/25/23(Sat)14:12:52 No.57291713 + 77 M1 Garand and 1911 Copypasta Anonymous Be me Own an M1 Garand in 30-06 and a 1911 in the lord's caliber 45ACP as General George S Patton intended At home watching *M*A*S*H* Three hoodlums break into my house "What the mule fritters", as I do my best Col Sherman T Potter impression while getting my trusty M1 and load a nearby EnBlock clip and narrowly miss giving myself M1 thumb under duress Hit the first man with a 4 round blast of handloaded 165gr soft point rounds His chest cavity is eviscerated like the troops in the first boat on D-Day Move my sights to the second man Blast off 4 more rounds and PING! out of ammo Completely missed due to not having NODs Charge forward towards him and impale him with the 16in bayonet on my M1 Goes through him and into the third man hiding behind him Pull out my 1911 and double tap both men with 230gr FMJ while saying "They All Fall To Hardball!" Just as Douglas MacArthur intended.

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ANON IS DESPERATE | /r/Greentext

View Same Google ImgOps iqdb Sauce NAO Mfw+mfw+i+tell+the+girl+im+in+lo (...).gif, 2MiB, 390x285 /b/ Anonymous Sun 25 Sep 2016 23:00:15 No.705427838 View Report >Be Me >30 y/o Virgin NEET >Live in my Aunts Basement (Parents kicked me out) >Whatever.jpg >My Aunt gets me a job at her Salon >Nothing big, just sweeping and mopping, easy s---. >I use the money for vidya and tendies. >I see lots of women I want to f--- at the salon. >404 people skills not found. I start to collect hair from some of the attractive ones after I sweep. >Get enough to make a hair doll. >Over time it gets pretty big. I start to talk to it, decide its my new G/F. >Call her Hairly Quinn. >Decide to lose my V card. >Stick fleshlight in Harly. F--- her 4 to 5 times a day. >Feelsgoodman.png >Come home after work. Aunt is sitting with my parents in the living room, Hairly is the table. >They decide I need "special help" and hire some f-- to follow me around and make sure I don't hurt someone. >My parents and aunt ignore me now, she just leaves food on the counter. >MFW I think I should be a hero and kill myself.

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anons dad does a bit of trolling | /r/Greentext

File: d.jpg (100 KB, 1024x768) DIACH 647 that will Bryt do? Aryt 110/118 Anonymous 02/25/23(Sat)16:26:27 No.72361273 [Reply]► >>72361296 >>72361474 >>72361583 >be me 15 years ago >spent hours upon hours trying to catch a shiny Pokemon >finally see the sparkles and start freaking out >get ready to throw a Pokeball at it >accidentally drop my Nintendo DS on the ground >screen goes black >heart sinks as I realize what just happened >dad walks in and asks why I look like I just lost my best friend >tell him what happened >he laughs and says "Well, I guess you could say that shiny Pokemon just...slipped through your fingers." >want to punch him, but can't even muster the energy >rest of the day is spent in a state of depression and self-loathing >curse the day I ever decided to try to catch a shiny Pokemon □ Anonymous 02/25/23(Sat)16:29:36 No.72361296 ► >>72361273 (OP) you're dad is actually pretty funny, thanks for sharing.

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The right answer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 85 KB JPG looking making $7/hr and still go out and get laid every weekend or easily get a date with no issues. 02/13/23 (Mon)17:01:22 No.72214934 >I'm part of the rapidly increasing population of men that are not hot enough or charismatic enough to get casual sex, but also too broke to get a girlfriend that "lowers" her physical standards >It baffles me how 20-30 years ago our fathers could be completely average >The only competition they had were other dudes in the bar who approached a girl, or maybe guys her friends set her up with. >Nowadays she can swipe right on only the hottest 6'2 dudes on dating apps or any athlete in her dms >I'm genuinely curious what this will lead to in 10-15 years with all these single guys : Anonymous 570 KB PNG 02/13/23 (Mon)17:19:52 No.72215116 >>72214934 (OP) # >something something TOPPED

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Anon has a brother. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/26/23(Sun)15:13:56 No.72371685 >get a call from my bro SIMP>"hey bro, what's up?" >"dude, you won't believe it, but I just donated $1000 to my favorite Twitch streamer!" >tfw my brother has donated more money to a girl on Twitch than he's given me in my lifetime >"uh, why did you do that?" 508 KB GIF >"because she's really good at the game and she's hot af!" >baka my head >"bro, you know you could have used that money for something else, right?" >"like what?" >"I don't know, maybe save it for a rainy day?" >"nah, I'd rather support my girl on Twitch. Plus, if I donate enough money, she might notice me and we could start dating!" >tfw my brother thinks he has a chance with a girl who doesn't know he exists

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Anon can't suppress his smoking addiction | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 35 KB JPG 02/11/23(Sat)09:33:13 No.72177009 >was about to sleep furth than midnight but kittens started to meow infront of my door >let the purr machines in to pet them >not allowed to smoke for a week >got strong nicotine patches but doesnt really feel anything >in big turmoil over not being able to smoke im dying without it being lethal, maybe I should play some video games as a distraction, probably something where I can watch stuff in the background on my second monitor.

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Anon is $199 richer | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/24/18(Sat)04:16:03 No.6375456 H wiki How to Teach an Autistic Student 1517765470864.jpg 73 KB JPG would you pay $199 dollars to increase ur IQ by 1 point? : Anonymous >>6375456 (OP) # no but I would pay 1 IQ point to increase my bank account by $199 02/24/18(Sat)04:23:54 No.6375495

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Anon has a history lecture | /r/Greentext

20221004_170344 (2).jpg 1.2 MB JPG Found this s--- in my phone, normal lecture of central europe history with based proffesor >"ok, 10min break" >starts prussia glory loud af >leaves the class

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