anon learns about sneeze guards | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 08/11/22(Thu)11:49:10 Screen Shot 2022-08-11 at(...).png No.883706551 ✓ (1.24 MB, 1462x1202) google yandex iqdb wait >be me >homeschooled so no experience with school facilities >go to church summer camp for a week >stand in line for lunch at the cafeteria, food served in long tables with plastic coverings like pic related >my retarded self asks the camp counselor what the plastic is for >counselor laughs and says jokingly "they're sneeze guards, anon! that way you can sneeze freely and the food doesn't get covered with snot!" >counselor is only half serious but I consider this a great discovery >determined to test efficacy of sneeze guard >before next meal intentionally make my nose itchy by picking out nose hairs in the bathroom >hang back towards the end of the line so I can take my time building up a sneeze >S art down the line, grabbing food >reach the mac and cheese and finally feel a sneeze coming on >let loose with a monster "achoo!" right onto the sneeze guard >huge pile of snot and mucus shoots on to the glass and starts sliding slowly down the slope >immediately realize what a retarded move this was and look around in shame >group of girls behind me freezes mid-conversation and looks at me like I killed a baby >mutter "it's the sneeze guard, that's what it's for" >slink away before more people notice >finish meal, walk out, notice that kitchen staff is wiping and bleaching glass and that's how I learned you're not supposed to sneeze in the buffet line

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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