anon doesn't like Shakespeare | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 324038047204724027409342.png (403 KB, 2400x1350) Happy Highschool Stories Anonymous 02/24/23(Fr >be me >few years ago >had f----- English teacher >she assigned Shakespeare books and s--- >assigned us Romeo and Juliet >never read it >would just use internet summaries >we had a Romeo and Juliet quiz >oh s--- oh f--- >I didn't read more than 2 pages of this book >manage to answer the first few questions based on the summaries I found on the internet >used Eeny Meeny Miny Moe for practically every other question >got the highest score among my friends at 89%

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon gets rejected. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/16/23(Thu)12:30:29 No.28417171 ► >be me > i asked this girl from my physics course out. asked to do some coursework with me. >she said she had to do a extra shift on Wednesday like 3mins from when we are meant to meet. >I had gotten all ready and was at library for no reason. >she asked if we could do it after class on Thursday >agreed >be today, she said she was too sick, the deadline is tomorrow. >its fine i did it on Wednesday. >I asked if she wanted to go to the aviary with me. >idk im a retard i like birds. >She said she is really ill, and asked if i could do it next week. F--- it is over? i just left her on read. like why do i have to be so ugly. like i just wanted to get to know a smart Spanish girl. Was it something i said?

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Anon is a hack fraud | /r/Greentext

Anonymous vii >>87744906 # >that's right jay 02/15/23(Wed)15:27:05 No.87745692 5wx4x8mbnuha1.jpg 130 KB JPG

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Anon is on a streak | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous nofap 465 KB PNG how far are you in your nofap jounrey? >t. day 11 im fighting it hard rn 78 Replies / 14 Images 02/23/23(Thu)09:55:07 No.70058329 : Anonymous >>70058329 (OP) # About 6 hours View Thread 02/23/23(Thu)21:16:51 No.70063628

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anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

> Be in 200 level uni class > Stupid professor assigns a 2 person project > Get stuck with the laziest most self-righteous pick-me girl in the class > She does no work. Ghosts me. Actually tells me she "Does not care about the grade on this." > I even go to the retard professor and get told "tough luck" > I do all the work, pull a 99% on the project. > Pick me doesn't even say a word to me after > Time for a little trolling >I download all of the photos from her insta > Make a few fake profiles and start messaging guys from our school > Start to solicit them, offering nudes or to meet up for "some fun" in exchange for crypto. > Make some good money doing this. Once the guy bites I ghost him and move on > Do this until I find the right catch > One guy absolutely losses his s--- > Bingo > Taunt him, ask him what he's gonna do about it, and block him. > Have probably 5 or guys absolutely livid at her for scamming them for crypto with the promise of boob or sex > Notice towards the end of the semester Pick-me stops showing up to class > Don't see her on campus at all > Do some digging, turns out she left her dorm and is back at home with her parents too > Make a fake email pretending to be a professor for a made-up class and email her parent asking what happened as she just dropped off the face of the earth. > Her mom reveals that some guy started stalking and harassing her for weeks > Guy turned up to her dorm room and tried to force his way in threatening to r--- her >She got so scared she ran home after that > Later on the rumors of her crypto scamming got spread around > Last I heard she transferred to a different uni Do you care now bitch?

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Anon's sister has an OnlyFans | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/22/23(Wed)18:43:22 No.894817316 ► >>894817809 >>894817850 >>894817905 >>894817979 >>894818940 >>894818942 >idea2.png >tell her her mom looks cute sewing >tell her to be careful while she sleeps >bitch blocks me >be me >have a degenerate sister >stalk her twitter sometimes and found she has an onlyfans >want to show her the dangers of showing her body on the internet >idea.jpg >subscribe to her onlyfans with a fake name >earn her thrust and also troll her by paying for specific videos like toe spreading, shoving her brother's (me) controller up her vag, sucking her t--- etc etc >troll her by asking her to record a video with her brother (know she would never do that) >unsurprisingly she rejects my request >tell her that I know where she lives and if she doesn't deliver she'll suffer the consequences >sis thinks it's just a bluff >write our adress to scare her >mom is sewing on the couch next to our big window >be dinner time >she looks really anxious and isnt talking much Hope she learns her f------ lesson Anonymous 02/22/23(Wed)18:54:05 No.894817809 >>894817316 (OP) >contact her with a burner phone >keep terrorizing her until she makes a vid with her brother (you) >she finally gives in >you f--- your sister "just to help her get rid of this creep" >she falls in love with you and becomes your personal f------ >??? >profit

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Anon puts the year anniversary of Russia's invasion in perspective | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: RZ6ymtRs) 02/22/23(Wed)18:31:27 No.417195736 >>417196056 >>417196142 >>417196262 >>417196289 >>41719 File: IMG_0567.png (1.04 MB, 936x706) In an alternate universe: >Day 365 of US Invasion of Mexico >US has still not declared war >Mexico City still stands >1st and 3rd Armored Division ran out of fuel, destroyed by cholos with RPG's >Footage of Mexican farmers carting off dozens of Abrams tanks >US has still not achieved air superiority, the mythical pilot "Burro de Tijuana" has shot down 7 F-35's >101st Airborne has taken 80%+ losses in a failed paradrop on Mexico City Airport >The US' largest aircraft carrier, USS Gerald Ford, sits at the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico >Over 70% of the initial force has been KIA >US has been forced to retreat from Tijuana and Monterrey after Mexican counter-offensive (Distance from border: <20KM) >Mexico has reversed 50% of the initial gains >Draft has been enacted; over 3 million Americans have fled to Canada >Army now primarily consists of conscripted West Virginian hillbillies and South Chicago hoodrats >US-backed 'breakaway' region of Chihuahua forces men to fight with Springfield rifles >Troops have used the XK and symbol on their vehicles, called the 'New Swastika' by the world >China provides Mexico over $100B in military aid, none of which is intercepted >UK publicly supports Mexico, Canada and the Germany join CSTO >US Cruise Missile attacks have failed to cut off electricity >Mexican special forces destroy the Golden Gate Bridge >Los Angeles shelled with impunity >Stinger batteries installed on the roof of the White House >Former comedian President of Mexico Carlos Mencia named Person of the Year, 95% Approval Rating >POTUS has not seen in public for 6 months, rumored to be hiding in Area 51 >Guy Fieri, CEO of Blackwater, announces his brigade of Alcatraz convicts has captured the village of Empalme (Pop: 472) >US President gives speech on invasion anniversary >Blames war on 'Collective South's' use of witchcraft, Latina sexual looseness >"Under my administration over 200,000 new jobs have been created" >Mark Milley visibly falls asleep >End of speech

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Nutty Proffessor | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/22/23(Wed) 22:29:11 No.72335339 >water fast for a week to burn body fat >Last day of fast I come home starving, nothing to eat. >Eat 1.36 Kilograms of roasted and salted pistachios from Costco in about 40 minutes. >Headache setting in, mouth is dry no matter how much, leg is numb, stomach feels heavy. 53 KB JPG Did I commit a mistake? I am gonna end in a chubbyemu video? : Anonymous 02/22/23(Wed) 22:34:33 No.72335379 I'm not a nutritionist but eating nearly 3lbs of salted anything during a week long water fast seems pretty retarded

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Anon's been Rainbow six siege'd | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.73 MB GIF 02/22/23(Wed)18:07:17 No.29745094 >see really cute guy with a rainbow patch on his backpack >start a conversation with him >been talking around campus for like two weeks now >finally ask him out on a date > "A date? Oh sorry anon but I'm straight" >"b-b-but you have rainbow on bag" >"well it's because I'm an ally, there's nothing more to it than that" Brb, going to f------ kill him and then myself afterwards

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anon is desperate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I hate people who enjoy life 83 KB JPG 07/11/20(Sat) 16:14:54 No.59048233 >be a 31yo single incel on the Internet >literally everyone you ever meet online is under 20, even on 4chan, every discord server, any social media imaginable >means you're forced to listen to these youngsters fuss about their youth, their dates, the excitement of being young, their imagined superiority over "boomers" etc. Old people should take back the Internet. I'm sick and tired of being mentally mature and having to argue with mental children who have seen nothing in life. Also I'm sick and tired of people who get laid and have fun.

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Anon sleep over at his friend's house | /r/Greentext

File: confusdwtf.jpg (109 KB, 1533x961) ? Friend's House Stories Anonymous 02/23/23(Thu)06:10:43 No.894804394 ► >Be me, 15 on a Friday Afternoon >Recently started hanging out with like-minded virgin at school named Tyler >Asks me if I want to go to his house to play Smash Bros. Brawl and s---, which I agree >Goes to his house, has fun, all that good stuff >His family is nice, with his Italian MILF of a mother cooking us fettuccine carbonara >Dad is nice too, but looks like he carries out hits for the mob on weekends, and generally scares me a bit >Having so much fun, I ask my parents if I can stay over tomorrow night, to which they agree >regret.jpg >> Anonymous 02/23/23(Thu)06:12:42 No.894804469 ► File: scaredpepe.jpg (116 KB, 820x680) >At his hosue the next day playing some Halo 3, when the clock strikes 8 PM >Family (my friend, his parents, and two siblings) explain that they have a family movie night every Friday, and ask if I want to join >Agree, cause why not >Movie of Choice is Home Alone 2 >Everything is fine for first 10 mins or so, when Tyler suddenly says he has to pick something up from the neighbors acoss the street, and to "not bother pausing" >Watching movie with his family, until the part of the movie where Kevin goes to New York >During montage, a shot of the Twin Towers comes up >TV Instantly paused >Without warning, every member of the family, stand up and salute the TV >Figured they maybe knew someone killed, and so I join in too after a few seconds to not appear rude >20 seconds pass, and we're all still standing >30 seconds pass, and we're all standing >No one is talking, no one is moving >After about a minute, I sit back down, thinking maybe they were waiting for me to end the minute of silence >The moment my ass hits the couch, his dad freaks the f--- out >Says I have no respect for the flag and demands I get the f--- out his house >In my confused state, I suck the s--- back up my a------, and run out >Don't even get my stuff Anonymous 02/23/23(Thu)06:13:38 No.894804509 ► >As I get out the front door, I see a guy in a ski mask holding a f------ machete >Fight or Flight starts up, my dum ass picks freeze >Guys takes ski mask off, revealing himself to be Tyler all along >Every member of the family is laughing their f------ ass off at me >I literally and nonmetaphorically have p----- my pants at this point >Dad pats me on the back and thanks me for being a good sport >Offers me to come back in and continue wathcing the movie >Instead opt to just walk the 90 min trek home >Come Monday, I avoid Tyler and pretend he doesn't exist >Never speak to him again >TFW I get PTSD every time Home Alone plays on TV now

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Anon wants a promotion | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/20/21(Tue)19:37:35 No.4762809 >>4763225 >Hi boss, what did you want to see me so late for? >Yes I would like an opportunity to get promoted, but- >...what are you doing? >please, get your hands off me >no I don't like this, stop it >I said NO >HELP HELP SOMEBO- >*thud*

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Anon starts to feel weird when rejoining | /r/Greentext

02/11/23(Sat) 14:44:10 No.72180094 snjsjsjdjsjsbsjjsjsjsjjidbdksjdjnddjkdndjalksmdndbdjdbj : Anonymous w overwhelmed wwww 9999 nsjsjw sjsnsshghh jsjsbdjdjkskdh jsjskkdjdhjdkd e tired. jdjdjsjs jdhjwjsjdb sja MY BRAIN HURTS >join discord server >make some friends and stuff sjdbjsjsjsbsjsjsnsbo Error Error you are tired. OK agw 328296092_1130837690983963_2320656867703235584_n.jpg 53 KB JPG >start to feel out of place >leave a few weeks ago >rejoin today and start to feel weird again X why do I feel like this anons? its not a bad place but it just feels so draining and I feel like i have to constantly be there or have horrible fomo

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