Baby anon gets saved | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous f 04/06/22(Wed)10:16:16 No.68095277 Here's a picture of the two gay men who adopted me when my abusive mother abandoned me as a young boy. >Be 6 at the time >Spent most of my childhood being abused and neglected by evil mom >One day she got drunk and high and 63 KB JPG locked me in a wardrobe >I was hungry and the loud party music upset me >I cried all night while she f----- random teens and smoked weed >Her a------ boyfriend burned me with a cigar when I wouldn't stop crying >Mom got angry at my crying again so she threw me out in the streets >I was literally a toddler wandering the streets of West Belfast at night >Can't exactly remember what happened but the Police found me >A year later I was adopted by my two gay dads >Best parents ever >Never harmed me in any way >treated me like a king >Provided me the best quality of life >Always supported me >They never treated me differently for being heterosexual I have two stem degrees and my own house. And I'm currently dating a beautiful French Canadian woman. I was always told that "women are the motherly and empathetic sex" but yet two gay men saved my life from my psycho mother. Explain this "fem"bots?

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon wonders about the devil. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous W LAAKTO 399 KB JPG 02/12/23(Sun)00:52:16 No.34065435 Why is this n---- so obsessed with god? Like damn n---- focus on yourself instead of being a hater for thousands of years

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Chicken balls | /r/Greentext

File: china answers the call.jpg (26 KB, 733x231) REAKING Breaking911 911 @Breaking911 BREAKING: Beijing answers the phone after days of attempts by US Officials to speak with Chinese leadership about purported spy balloon - AFP 7:28 PM. Feb 12, 2023 11.7K Views Anonymous (ID: pxJJercu) 02/12/23(Sun)17:33:46 No.415954565 >>415954968 >>415955575 >>415955854 >>415955993 >>415956040 >>415956196 >>415956576 >>415956758 Herro? https://twitter.com/Breaking911/status/1624943664949592066 ... Anonymous (ID: 3rQMmbmW) 02/12/23(Sun)17:37:01 No.415954968 >>415956166 >>415956638 File: 1587696537686.png (24 KB, 657x525) >>415954565 (OP) >I'll have the number 10 with chicken balls please

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anon dislikes Queen | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 947 KB JPG 02/15/23(Wed)04:59:39 No.115028971 absolute overrated s--- leadsinger looks like a total f----- and prolly loves to suck d--- on the side : Anonymous >>115028971 (OP) # You're not seriously suggesting Freddie Mercury was gay are you? 02/15/23(Wed)05:10:30 No.115029038

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Anon becomes a pornstar. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ACTIVE@DUTY BAREBACK TACTICS 11 CT BREMEN BU KEZ TE LA SALLDRËN, ASEM 93 KB JPG 02/16/23(Thu)01:59:02 No.894405569 >Be me, 20-year-old guy with a huge ego >Decide I'm gonna become a pornstar >Think it'll be easy and make me rich >Get some advice from a "friend" who's in the industry >He tells me to "train" my "equipment" by watching lots of p--- and jerking it all the time >Start watching so much p--- my eyes hurt and my d--- is raw >Try to find an agent and send in some audition tapes >Get rejected from every agency I apply to >Decide to go the amateur route and post some videos on Pornhub >Get 5 views and they're all from my dad >Realize I'm never gonna be a pornstar and go cry in the shower >Wake up the next day and my d--- is swollen and covered in blisters >Go to the doctor and find out I have a severe case of chlamydia

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Anon finds a Playboy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I saw Playboy when I was very (...) 02/15/23(Wed)09:08:26 No.72238298 >be me >found a Playboy magazine when I was 5 or so, and looked at it extensively over the course of one day before I was caught >high-key f----- me up sexually, have always had extremely explicit sexual thoughts since >essentially have constantly thought about sex and nudity in one form or another since before Kindergarten 237 KB PNG >anyways, the point of this story is that when I was very young I developed weird fetishes because I was so raptured by the idea of sexual intimacy >get this: I thought the idea of two people peeing and pooping all over the house and living like animals was the hottest thing ever >develop a piss fetish and kind of a poop fetish at the time, also an interest in transforming into animals >so over the course of a couple nights when I was still very young, I would wait until late into the night, pretend and imagine I was getting transformed into a horse by a mad scientist, crawl down from the top bunk of a bunk bed I shared with my brother, squeeze myself under the bed, and sensually poop on the floor under the bed >recently I realized this series of events was most likely a dream, but if so I still had this dream very young >grow up to be 21 now >don't have a poop fetish, only have a piss fetish >that was a close one >I can't imagine how hard it would be to find someone to partake in a scat fetish, it's hard enough with a piss fetish >I was so close to being a lost cause If you guys want more stories of how being exposed to Playboy so young affected me, just let me know

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Anon fucks up big time- | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 273 KB PNG 02/21/18 (Wed)17:58:01 No.43378543 Am i retarded? >Be 16 >pretty beta but not bad looking >meet 8/10 japanese girl >start talking >she's into me >its happening >says her name is hiroka >gives me her number >call later that night >nervous asf >"Hey hiroshima" >"What did you say Anon?!" >s--- s--- s--- >try to recover >"Because..uh you're the bomb" "she hangs up" View Thread MemeCenter.com

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Anon makes a saw trap | /r/Greentext

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Anon fails the Acrobatics check | /r/Greentext

Sigma morning routine >be me >Wake up at 3 am >Take a s--- >Get up from bed >Jump out of the window to land on someone to make him a cripple >Land on a woman >She dies and you become a cripple F---

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Anon answers the door | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 42 KB PNG 2 Replies 1 Image What the F--- was that about. Should I be worried? Anonymous 34 KB JPG 10/09/18(Tue)10:18:12 No.48594932 >>48595095 # >doorbell rings >its a young girl >shes barefoot >she's just staring at me in silence >"what? what do you want?" >she walks away View Thread 10/09/18(Tue)10:28:53 No.48595087 >"what? what do you want?" why would you say that to a poor clearly abused little girl, have you no heart? : Anonymous >>48595087 # Right? Should have grabbed her and show her what real abuse look like, the f------ crybaby. 10/09/18(Tue)10:29:39 No.48595095

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anon goes to a restaraunt i never heard of | /r/Greentext

John Titor (ID: eHZLrteO 09/25/22(Sun)18:22:14 No.396952197 7EEDA043-DC23-4D 10-90DD-F854EA78636B.jpg 2.64 MB JPG >>396951800 # Been at Golden Corral for like 5 hours, probably over 10 full plates of lemons. No one has said anything, love this place. Chinese buffets usually stop me at 3 plates and kick me out.

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Anon tries gambling | /r/Greentext

File: 565F22CA-D53C-4CDB-96E3-7(...).jpg (99 KB, 897x697) Anonymous 02/11/23(Sat)05:49:39 No.894184914 [Reply] >>894190447 >>894190494 >be me >study statistics >find a way to reduce the probability of losing while gambling >still a little risk but decide to try it anyway >go to local casino >win for almost 2 hours >be happy >something with a probability of 0.00013 happens >lost everything I won and hundreds bucks >be sad Don't gamble, do drugs instead at least you can be happy

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Anon talks about how his stepmom said his dad can't earn money because he's a plumber | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 17 KB JPG 02/12/23(Sun)00:00:32 No.72183650 >my dad is a plumber >step mom complains he doesn't make any money >step mom works at Dunkin Donuts >step mom makes $300/wk >step mom drives with dent in new car and refuses to fix it for 5 years

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