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: Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:57:40 No.737628777 >be me. 5'11" 260 pounds. Yes I'm fat. >my life consists of cleaning out the trashcans and wiping s--- off of hospital floors >know of a patient dying of cancer. been on a hospital bed for 3 weeks 61 KB PNG now. >he called me over yesterday. first time he's ever spoke to me. I'm listening intently >"I don't know you but my dying wish for you is to lose all that f------ weight so you don't die a fat slob" >he died today I don't know how to feel Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:59:10 No.737628906 Lose the weight fgt

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File: Screenshot 20241127-155712.png (228 KB, 742x721) Something Happened Anonymous (ID: HG6Lars) 11/27/24(Wed)17:35:15 No.489774321 ► >Polls all indicate a Harris victory, though close >Ann Selzer poll, known as a canary in a coal mine, indicated Harris winning lowa >Trump campaign suspiciously quiet nearing the end of the campaign >Harris campaign had significant energy >North Carolina predicted to be close >Virginia unusually red >The four countries willing and able to f--- with US democracy (Iran, China, Russia, NK) stand to benefit from a Trump win (cause it's destabilizing) >Billionaires cozy up to Trump despite a Harris victory being predicted >TRUMP WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS A REPUBLICAN CANDIDATE WINS THE POPULAR VOTE >WITH AN APPROVAL RATING EQUIVALENT TO CANCER Bros, I'm telling you, something funky happened

☐ Anonymous 11/25/24(Mon) 10:39:13 No. 17295889 >>17295909 >>17295925 >>17295935 >>17295976 >win independence >DON'T devolve into military dictatorship or absolute monarchy >start off with fresh land and an unusually high literacy rate >neighbors are retarded savages who live at the mercy of nature >large ocean between them and European chimpouts >shitgoesdown.jpg >"here tovarish buy my land I need to fund a chimpout" >ok > "here America buy my land, I need to fund my own le chimpout" >ok >"hey America there was a chimpout in Texas we'll join you (and won't secede later) if you help" >ok >*doubles land in two years* It's amazing how well they took advantage of what they had. Many nations have completely fumbled the bag during their development. What went so right?

Anonymous (ID: Lvuvmf4p 11/21/24(Thu)03:45:24 No.489109549 16 KB JPG >4chan known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >X known as a right-wing Nazi haven >allows all types of opinions and rhetoric >reddit known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center >bluesky quickly becoming known as a left-wing haven >bans anyone posting anything even slightly right of center Really makes you think.

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Anon celebrates Chinese New Year. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/15/23(Wed)17:49:28 No.72236423 >be me, a foreigner in China 5## >Chinese Lunar New Year was coming up >excited to experience the 7 KB JPG festivities and cultural traditions >get invited to a friend's family dinner on New Year's Eve >arrive at their house and they're already feasting on a huge spread of food >join in and start filling up my plate with dumplings, noodles, and other delicious dishes >feel a sudden rumble in my stomach >oh no, not now >rush to the bathroom and unleash the biggest fart of my life >it echoes throughout the house >can hear my friend's grandma shouting >"Aiya! What is that smell?!" >try to play it cool and pretend it wasn't me >come back to the dinner table and everyone is giving me weird looks >suddenly, my friend's little cousin asks me "Do you know what year it is?" >confused, I reply "No, what year is it?" >he grins and says "The year of the fart dragon!" >the entire table erupts in laughter >spend the rest of the night being teased about my flatulence >well, at least I made everyone's Chinese Lunar New Year a little more memorable

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Anon frequents r/wsb | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/14/23(Tue)16:27:12 No.894369188 >>894367950 (OP) # >watches mr. robot and sees him use tech to reset the economy >narrative economics book comes out in 2019 890 KB PNG >people post fake company tweets in 2022 wiping billions from their worth (the narrative economics book in action) >chatgpt comes out and can generate text en masse >>894369244 # and there you have it folks

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Anon is loved | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 97 KB JPG 02/15/23(Wed)18:56:28 No.72235663 >be me, a lonely anon on Valentine's Day >decide to treat myself to a fancy dinner at home >get dressed up and light some candles >pull out my best bottle of wine and pour myself a glass >sit down to eat my steak and lobster dinner >realize halfway through that I forgot to cook the lobster >oh well, I'll just have to order next year >suddenly hear a knock at the door >who could it be on Valentine's Day? >open the door to find a delivery guy with a giant bouquet of flowers >"Are you anon? These are for you." >confused, I take the flowers and read the card >"Roses are red, violets are blue, I didn't forget about you, you big doo-doo head" >mfw my mom sent me flowers for Valentine's Day >at least someone loves me

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Anon provides life advice and comments on religion | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >>34078614 (OP) # >boohoo Jesus didn't interfere with my free-will to stop me from making mistakes 02/13/23(Mon)14:19:17 No.34079071 Grow up s------. You're the arbiter of your choices. Don't blame Jesus because you're a s------. >>34079106 #

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Anon Pirates Elden Ring | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 20 KB PNG >cmd opens and closes 6 times >error message boxes popping up constantly >screen flickers a couple times >all files get encrypted and ransomware box asking for bitcoin appears >messagebox opens that says "jk lol" >all files get unencrypted and ransomware file deletes itself 02/15/23(Wed)15:00:33 No.91548281 ok >download pirated Elden Ring >run it >game runs >hits main menu of Elden Ring and a messagebox pops up that says "not jk actually" >computer s---- itself and turns off >have been trying to turn my pc back on for 2 hrs Anonymous 02/15/23(Wed)15:02:50 No.91548310 zoomers are the victims of more ransomware and scams than boomers now

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Edit: thank you for the gold, kind stranger uwu | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous REDDIT AWARDS (S Silver Spend 100 Gold Platinum Spend 500 Spend 1.800 75 KB PNG 4 Replies Anonymous >>72234255 # Anonymous Somebody awarded my post with reddit gold. 02/15/23(Wed)12:45:32 No.72234230 Did you edit your post to say thanks for the gold kind stranger 02/15/23(Wed)12:42:42 No.72234201 I'm not sure what to make of this. >>72234230 # I edited it to say: View Thread >>72234411 # >>72234619 # 02/15/23(Wed)12:47:27 No.72234255 Edit: Kill n------. Behead n------. Roundhouse kick a n----- into the concrete. Slam dunk a n----- baby into the trashcan. Crucify filthy blacks. Defecate in a n------ food. Launch n------ into the sun. Stir fry n------ in a wok. Toss n------ into active volcanoes. Urinate into a n------ gas tank. Judo throw n------ into a wood chipper. Twist n------ heads off. Report n------ to the IRS. Karate chop n------ in half. Curb stomp pregnant black n------.

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Anon hates the word "wholesome" | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous The word "sweet" was killed by(...) PEMAI 02/12/23(Sun)00:25:49 No.72183898 >"thats kind wholesome my dude" One of the greatest crimes against the english language commited by reddit is the fact that people completely dropped the expression "sweet" to refer to anything good, kind, charitable or cute because a bunch of redditors starting to use the word "wholesome" everywhere instead, to the point it completely lost its original meaning and purpose. 63 KB JPG >"dude thats like so wholesome" >"woah dude those kittens are so wholesome" I have seen REAL NORMAL ASS PEOPLE call things wholesome IN REAL LIFE until i REMINDED THEM that the expression "AW THATS SWEET" has existed FOR LITERAL CENTURIES and WAS NOT popular until like 6 OR 7 YEARS AGO. The world "wholesome" has now been accepted as part of spoken language and has been tormenting me ever since i started to seriously becoming acquainted with internet culture like 5 years ago and i swear every time i hear it one of the neurons in my prefrontal cortext straight up f------ dies. Im so sick of this s---, makes me murderously angry.

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Anon agrees with Omni man | /r/Greentext

Anonymous | 180580432 26.8 kB JPG He did nothing wrong >completes his duty >raises his son to be strong 3 hr ago ... >protects earth better than an entire team of "heroes" >loving husband despite his inferior wife >sees humanity for what it is and wants to help them be more useful to the galactic community >"but hurr durr he killed some people so he is le bad!!" and? He saved far more 4 REPLIES 8 IMAGES REPLY

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Anon cant shit without his toilet stool. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous So i need one of this to poop 14 KB JPG 02/12/23(Sun)12:56:33 No.72199572 >Be me >Need a toilet stool to s--- >I cant s--- without my toilet stool >Mexican guy comes to repair some pipe s--- on my bathroom >Sees my s------- support thingy >Laughs >Embarrassed.jpg >Forget about it and continue with my day >Urge to s---.xml >Go to the other bathroom >Need my s------- support thingy >Return to my main bathroom >He is still repairing the pipe >Grab my toilet stool >Leave >Hear mexican guy laughing What, why is it so funny, he doesn't knows that it helps me get the correct position to s---.

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Anon give advice | /r/Greentext

File: 194ndzF.jpg (47 KB, 396x385) I turn 20 tomorrow Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)16:26:59 No.25957 Anything I should know for my 20s that you would like to share? Anonymous 03/03/22(Thu)16:49:31 No.25957818 ► >>25957833 >>25957759 (OP) >Do hard things now before you feel "left behind" in your 30's; take care of your future self >Save as much money as you can and take advantage of compound interest/crypto >DO NOT rush to get married/have children; wait a minimum of 5 years in a relationship >Don't make your job your whole life >Learn patience - work, home, school - multitasking isn't everything, slow down >Friends (and family for that matter) come and go - don't let toxic people ruin your life >Take calculated risks >Have fun but be responsible Anonymous 01/07/22(Fri)03:31:54 No.25618366 ► >>25618382 Improve yourself until you become a person that you like being.

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Anon goes on a field trip | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/14/23(Tue) 13:29:23 No.894357322 >>894357753 >be me >2nd or 3rd grade >class trip at pilgrim museum, something to do w old america or other >pilgrim guide tells class about traditional dance done in pairs >guide pairs up boys and girls in class >get paired with prettiest girl in class >she makes a disgusted face at me >dance w her reluctantly >she keeps making faces during dance >dance over >idea.png >to get even, i tell her "you disgust me" >go to sit down and listen to pilgrim guide >tap on shoulder >turn around >its the girls mom, she was chaperoning on the trip >"don't you ever talk to my daughter like that ever again, and i mean ever" >ok.jpg why did she suddenly care enough to babble to her mom? stupid wench

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literally (You) tonight | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 128 KB JPG 02/14/23(Tue)18:26:55 No.180583049 >you: the scorpion jacket stays ON during sex >her: whatever, so long as I get my money after this

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Greentext Stories - Anon needs a workout schedule! | /r/Greentext

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: Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:57:40 No.737628777 >be me. 5'11" 260 pounds. Yes I'm fat. >my life consists of cleaning out the trashcans and wiping s--- off of hospital floors >know of a patient dying of cancer. been on a hospital bed for 3 weeks 61 KB PNG now. >he called me over yesterday. first time he's ever spoke to me. I'm listening intently >"I don't know you but my dying wish for you is to lose all that f------ weight so you don't die a fat slob" >he died today I don't know how to feel Anonymous 07/02/17(Sun)11:59:10 No.737628906 Lose the weight fgt

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