Anon gets trolled by God. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 2 KB JPG 02/13/23(Mon)21:36:17 No.72216857 >have terrible skin, full of premature wrinkles and a very think texture >my d--- head literally glows of clearness what did god mean by this

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is short | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: tUgYfSgh C 02/14/23(Tue)10:54:02 No.416106179 216 KB PNG >>416099956 (OP) # >Be God >Made women wet for 6+ feet tall men >Made 90% of men less than 6 feet tall >Makes it impossible for short men to become taller Why the f--- is God so cruel?

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Anon becomes a teacher | /r/Greentext

1550967112847.jpg ✩ (796 KB, 2016x1260) 3 Anonymous 02/13/23 (Mon)19:43:59 No.91513123 - >>91513472 >>91513562 >>91513761 >>91514467 >>91514506 >Everyone, this is the instructor from /g/. He will teach us new and exciting ways to use digital tools in our workplace over the next two days! >Sir, would you like to tell us a few words about yourself? Anonymous 02/13/23 (Mon) 20:08:11 No.91513664 ✓ >class, open up your web browser >now type in four chan dot org slash gee A >press enter >you in the blue shirt reply to that post with N >grey scarf reply to him with I >floral shirt you do G >glasses, another G >christmas, an E >hotwheels, give me an R >this concludes our two day course

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anon points out leftist hypocrisy in supporting the censorship of ideologies they don't agree with by private businesses. | /r/Greentext

File: Fn2hsweX0AAO16F.jpg (90 KB, 828x810) Colorado baker once sued over gay couple's wedding cake now in court over refusing to make birthday cake for transgender woman via Nexstar Media Wire and The Associated Press Anonymous 02/13/23(Mon)15:06:42 No.627577661 >>627577759 >>627577770 >>627577786 >>627577798 >>627577879 >game has a kino sequel >> Anonymous 02/13/23(Mon)15:08:35 No.627577759 ► >>627577661 (OP) You'd think Colorado would be safe from this retarded s--- but no Anonymous 02/13/23(Mon)15:08:54 No.627577770 ► >>627577661 (OP). >heh it's a private business chud they can do what they please >NOOOO BAKE THE CAKE FOR ME america is a failed state

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anon wants to seduce one of his student | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous shall i try to seduce her 01/14/23(Sat)22:46:00 No.71820566 >be me >physics teacher at an institution >pay is comfy >students like me >living my best life >we arranged extra classes for weak students >3 girls, and 2 boys they all had bad results in previous tests >cause small number of students, decided to not use the board >sat beside the boys, started explaining the children >one girl was looking at my face so eagerly >while i was writing in the notebook, saw her hand was in her lap and she was rubbing it, like she was so nervous >this kinda turned me on shall i try to seduce her, she is 15/16 488 KB PNG

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Anon wants to know if girls shit. | /r/Greentext

When I was a young kid, I used to believe that girls genuinely did not poop. I used to think that probably because I only had brothers and no sisters and I thought girls were too ladylike to do something that filthy. I know better now. 38 KB JPG When I got to high school, where there was girls galore to talk to. I would sometimes ask the question, "do girls poop?" to girls. Here are some responses that I have got from asking this: >Nalee: "Yes, everybody poops." >Josselin: "Of course girls poop, if we didn't poop, we would all explode!" >Nevaeh: "Yeah, we poop. Hehehehe!" >Brie: "Well yeah, you gotta get that out somehow." >Ellie: "I had diarrhea last week." and then "Yes, all humans defecate." >Kennedy: "Yes, it's true."

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anon is downbad | /r/Greentext

THE THE F----- up and now I'm sleeping on the couch >gf is on her period >damn.jpg >horny af >can't f--- on her period, it's just kinda f----- gross >can't do a--- cause been blocked up for a few days >usually get b------- >haven't gotten one in like a week >ask her for one and she says "no anon I'm tired" >"pls :(" "F---, no anon go to sleep" Comment too long. Click here to view the full text. + 3 replies omitted. Click here to view.

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anon has questionable comrades | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/13/23(Mon)18:14:21 No.894288201 [Rep >be me >have best friend for years >friend gets a job in scam insurance company >tells me he needs interviews and I don't need to buy anything >say yes >get done with interview >tell friend a week later I don't want it >he says I need to trust him and holds out his hand to shake >I say no >he gets mad >I make up a promise to get him to f--- off >told him today no again >he calls me and says I'm less of a man for going back on my word Am I the wrong one here /b/? He was pressuring me to pay 2k a month

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Anon copes after losing at Jenga | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Why are American Jenga Players (...) 546 KB JPG No.72039981 > "YoU tOucHEd ThAt BIOCK So you HavE to PuLl tHat OnE Out" 01/31/23(Tue)10:22:42 Go f--- yourself, that's not how the f------ game is played, you dumb, the f---, a------. Quoted from the official Jenga rules: > "Players may tap a block to find a loose one. Any blocks moved but not played should be replaced, unless doing so would make the tower fall. " You've never even f------ read the rules have you, you s------- idiot. What, is the game over in 3 seconds, if you just so happen to touch a load bearing block first?F------ NO DUMBASS. Learn to read you illiterate f---.

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an eye for an eye, a ball for a ball | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/04/21(Sun)06:49:26 >back in highschool, had a bully who used to torment me by kicking me in the testicles No.64435743 322 KB PNG >years later, go to the doctor for some constant lethargy Long story short >there's a massive amount of scar tissue in my testicles, and it's very likely that I'm infertile >also will likely have hormonal issues the rest of my life I don't really know why I'm posting this, but I'm genuinely considering killing the person who did this to me. What really do I have to lose?

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anon could lose something on valentine's | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/14/23(Tue)01:31:59 No.72213379 293vpw.png 467 KB PNG >friend adamant on hanging out with me on valentine's day what did she mean by this? : Anonymous >>72213379 (OP) # >friend kill yourself you p------------ 02/14/23(Tue)01:38:11 No.72213436 : Anonymous kidney, she wants your kidney, anon 02/14/23(Tue)01:41:41 No.72213471

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Anon is cured of inceldom | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/13/23 (Mon)02:21:04 No.72207626 [1] [Reply] >>72209362 >>72207951 >>72208612 >>72208614 >>72210775 I met a dude off grindr and took his c--- for like 3 hours straight. I think he f----- the incel and misogyny out of me unironically, I feel none of the hate or bitterness I usually do. -21 posts and 6 image replies shown. Anonymous Anonymous Anonymous Anonymous 02/13/23 (Mon)03:02:29 No.72207904 >>72210286 >>72210618 >>72207924 >>72207949 >>72208004 >>72208061 >>72208186 >>72208612 >>72207647 I'm not good at greentexting Anon >matched with a guy V >hes kind of normie tier but otherwise attractive and only a bit older than me >we agreed to do it in a hotel >it was extremely awkward when we got to the room >we sat on the bed and had drinks pretty much for like half an hour >alcohol makes my head feel fuzzy and nice and i get less inhibited >start getting really touchy with him, rubbing against him etc >he reciprocates >we go from mind numbing smalltalk to desperate groping in literal seconds >i end up with my head between his legs >heart nearly exploded when i got his c--- out, ive always wanted to have a fat d--- in my face desu >blew him for a while, at some point he starts just ramming my head down and using me like an onahole >i came just from rubbing against my underwear during this and kind of got post nut regret, he just kept r----- my face though and im too much of a pushover to make him stop now >he just c--- inside, doesnt even have the courtesy to ask if its okay >the consistency and salty taste are super nasty but i gulp it all down because i dont want to offend him >awkward post nut conversation, we drink more >we both agree that we've had enough for tonight, while im getting cleaned up he walks into the bathroom >starts dry humping me like a horny dog from behind, i instantly get crazy horny again >he just grabs me by the arm and leads me onto the bed >i dont have an ounce of resistance at this point, extremely drunk at this point too >i just lay on my back and open my legs like a good boy >he makes me slobber on his c--- first >mounts me >i try to relax but im literally about to lose my virginity to a man, by taking it up the ass no less >he pushes it in eventually >it feels extremely violating and a bit uncomfortable but also really good >i get used to his c--- and it starts feeling amazing >repeat "im not gay" in my head like a mantra to soothe myself >rest of the night is me being a brainless drunk f------ for him

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Anon doesn't like heliocentrism | /r/Greentext

Heliocentrism >be me >be a stupid noob >be 10 yo Geocentrism >be in public school >get taught the galileo fairy tale about the evil church suppressing the herioic genius scientist >be angry at church for being evil >become atheist as revenge >anti-authoritarian as f >academic performance falters >be a total badass, no rules, eventually start dealing drugs in high school, using high iq alone to evade the law >steal a maserati just for the f--- of it one day, drive it around until its almost out of gas >barely graduate high school >still manage to get into college on strength of SAT/ ACT performance >college is legitimately intellectually challenging/ stimulating, get 4.0 back for the first time since early elementary school >study physics >learn aspects of the galileo tale in greater detail >realize its all just coordinate swaps >read galileo trial documents >galileo's argument: heliocentrism is real because i'm not good enough at math to understand coordinate system swaps >pontif's argument: geo and helicentrism is the same s---, its just coordinate swaps bro, teach both versions if you like, teach lunarcentrism too if you want, but don't attempt to discredit the bible with an ignorant, singleminded focus on heliocentrism >pontif (also serving as judge and jury): i win, galileo is permab& because he is too retarded to be allowed in pubic >realize i'd been duped into a life of crime by intentionally misleading public school lies why did they do this to me? 11m (2/13 10:11) · 15199246 We should go back to epicycles, its got so much more panache than gravitational models of the solar system. OP picrel right just looks better than left

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