Anon cannot escape his own virginity | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: 5EA3B33E-7349-4DB9-A920-2(...).jpg (16 KB, 237x189) OO O Did I just mega cuck myself? Anonymous 02/04/23(Sat)08:18:18 N >be me >on a beach >9/10 qt3.14 comes up to me >she's doing really suggestive poses in front of me and dirty talking to me >"umm, please go away" >she's very persistent and keeps doing it, she's on all fours at this point >"please stop" >she walks away >a few minutes later I wake up >mfw I realised I denied sex in a dream. Tf is wrong with me?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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anon is solving homelessness | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 272 KB JPG 06/22/21(Tue)18:57:42 No.857446821 >be me, 28 year old Texas f-- >live in Corpus Christi >love it here but city has a bad homeless problem >get sick of it and take matters into my own hands >last week find a hobo walking through grocery store parking lot in morning >strike up conversation and befriend him >offer to pay him $200 if he helps me move furniture out of my house in Austin >he agrees >I don't have house in Austin >we go to Austin, -4 hour drive >he gets out to use bathroom in gas station in random ghetto >I leave him and drive back to corpus Is relocating the homeless to s--- cities the answer we've been looking for? I think next weekend I'm gonna pick up 3 hobos and leave them in Dallas

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target acquired | /r/Greentext

⠀ Operation Balloon shoot down thread #2 Operation Balloon shoot down t(...) 02/04/23(Sat)07:45:21 No.414771151 Cape Giraudeau anon.png 1.36 MB PNG >Current location: Cape Giraudeau, Missouri area >Tracking ~7.5 mph south by southwest >Anons in S.E. MO, N.W. TN, S.W. KY report sightings (time, altitude, direction of travel) >Anons illuminate balloon with any laser they can get hands on, balloon will get brighter in sky with every laser added >Sensors will be blinded/destroyed >Post pics of you using laser on balloon here and to social medias, this will activate army of normie golems to join in >When we get enough lasers on balloon the thin skin will degrade and leak, balloon will come down >We then "loot drop" it and mock feds as they beg us to give it to them, sell parts on ebay >Humiliate Xi, Biden

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Anon has a problem | /r/Greentext

[Return] [Catalog] [Bottom] [Update] [ File: cryemo.jpg (8 KB, 264x191) Auto] [Return] [Catalog] [Top] [Update] [Auto] Pain 02/02/23(Thu)15:39:47 No.893713267 >Favorite hentai site shuts down Anonymous 02/02/23(Thu)15:44:24 No.893713496 >>893713681 You should go to church OP You need the LORD, not degeneracy! Pain 02/02/23(Thu)15:47:54 No.893713681 >>893713496 Says the guy on /b/

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Anon is a racist | /r/Greentext

1675332011681773m.jpg 46 KB JPG >be me, Kentucky resident at the age of 10 >Elementary school recess >One of the black kids at the playground is bullying the gay kid >I'm overweight but I look big so someone asks me to beat the black kid up >Decide to yell at him while chasing him "you stop bullying that gay boy you dumb n*gger!" >Teacher who for some stupid f------ reason ignored the whole thing to this point grabs me and pulls me into the principles office >Explain to him that I fought homophobia with racism >No suspension, instead have to apologize to black kid, we end up being friends and we laugh about the incident >Turns out gay fella wasn't actually gay and was just pretending to be cool, he would end up f------ my first girlfriend behind my back >I'm in my 30s now and this is still the most significant part of my life

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Anon just wants to play Bloodborne in actual full HD with decent fps | /r/Greentext

02/04/23(Sat)10:36:32 No.626539342 76 KB JPG >wake up >go on das interweb >check if Bloodborne remaster got announced for PS5 (and hopefully PC) >nah.jpg >be upset >do it again next day >doing this for nearly 2 years now just why? it'd sell like cupcakes on Steam, but Snoy decides to bring Last of Us 1 instead >inb4 just play it on PS4 yea, play it in upscaled 900p and 27 fps, no thanks >inb4 just play it on your PS5 in bc mode yea, play it with no patch, in 4K upscaled from already upscaled 900p and 29 fps, no thanks

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Anon is a girl | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago 4 REPLIES 773650902 >be me, man >identify as a female because gender is a social construct >j------- >once I'm done, identify as male again >got jerked off by a gril >mfw got a h------ See you later virgins

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Anon surfs the web | /r/Greentext

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Joe Rogan goes on a slight tangent | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/03/23(Fri)15:35:22 No.180092108 85F02C1B-31A8-47B6-B0B0-86F4BACF190F.jpg 23 KB JPG >F--- man did you see those muscles on that Kangaroo? H--------. Dude if you were to train one of those in MMA they'd punch your head clean off I'm telling you >T-that's great Joe. Can we get back to talking about economics now? : Anonymous 02/03/23(Fri)15:36:56 No.180092167 f--- off, Joe taught me to never fight a chimp. I would never otherwise have learned such wisdom. it may have saved my life.

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Anon has a plan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: YfQ110Hc) 06/14/13(Fri)15:57:55 No.487006667 How did you manage to get back with your girlfriend?? >Be 22 >Dumped by 7/10 >Little to no contact now >7/10 used to bring her siberian husky pup, Roscoe, to my house daily >3 months later >Lightbulb.png I DEED IT >Hugs and kisses. He's missed me >See on Fbook she posted her dog has runaway >Don't comment >F---, I have to try again >Wait another week >Devise plan to kidnap Roscoe while she is at work >Kidnap Roscoe >Going according to my plan >Hangout with Roscoe for a few days >Call 7/10 "Roscoe just showed up at my house!!" >She shows up in tears and thanks me >*You're welcome. It was really good to see Roscoe...a-a-and you. >Smiles, hugs me and leaves. >Kidnap Roscoe again >Once more, call her with the good news. >She show's up while Roscoe and I are playing in the yard >"Wow he must really miss you I guess, Anon >Heh, yeah, I have missed him too.. >"He's not the only one who's missed you..." >Kiss the bitch and ask her to stay >MFW I got my girlfriend back by kidnapping her dog

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Such an inspiration! Elon truly is the future. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 156 KB JPG 02/14/22(Mon)12:32:57 No.872670361 >tortured and killed 15 monkeys with diabolical brain chips >couldn't make Roadster (a car) >couldn't make Cybertruck (an ugly car) >couldn't make Loop (a tunnel, literally) >currently trashing Earth orbit with Starlink >thinks wasting nuclear power by nuking Mars is a good idea You guys sure this is real life Tony Stark?

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Just found this | /r/Greentext

>be me >be black >be at super bowl party last night >telling someone a story about a story from work about some crazy guy calling me n----- >some white girl I'm not even talking to flinches and has a disgusted look on her face and says "please don't use that word" 23 KB JPG >I say "what word? N-----?" >she then says "you're making everyone here really uncomfortable by using that word" >I tell her I'm the only black person here and I'm telling a story >she say "IDC I don't like when people use that word around me" >her three beta orbiters then walk over

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Anon effed up | /r/Greentext

Anonymous dhhY6/pH | 53561676 ITS OVER 83.1 kB JPG >I wrote "kek" in the office chat 25 REPLIES 14 IMAGES 7 hr ago... REPLY

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