anon gives r9k some advice | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: Download.jpg (7 KB, 225x225) BETTER KILL Yourself Anonymous 01/28/23(Sat)20:24:52 No.71999989 [Reply] ► >How can I cope with malding after being mogged for sneeding without dubs? Thats literally how you people talk I firmly believe that your lifes value is akin to that of a eusocial insect. I further am of the opinion that your mere existences are nill and that you as a people have made no contributions to society. I recommand that you all bring utter and complete destruction to your wellbeing at this present time.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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anons ask some questions | /r/Greentext

Board /k/-Weapons Anonymous Focus in Aiming INCORRECT Shooter Focused on Target. any questions? ▾ Settings Home 03/25/18(Sun)20:25:00 No.37306174 INCORRECT CORRECT Shooter has fired a gun before Shooter Focused on Rear Sight. aiming.png 514 KB PNG United States Secret Service 03/25/18(Sun)20:28:08 No.37306216 : Anonymous >>37306174 (OP) # yeah, how come no matter what color the shampoo is, the lather is always white? >>37306244 # >>37306537 # Anonymous 03/25/18(Sun)20:28:11 No.37306220 >>37306174 (OP) # How do I stop making dry omelettes

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Anon tries to be Walter White | /r/Greentext

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Anon is a consoomer | /r/Greentext

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anon is cucked by video game developers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 04/11/22 (Mon)11:57:50 No.595232358 >>595232409 >>595232435 >>595232487 >>595232604 >>595232652 >>595232841 >>595233531 >>595233616 >>595234743 The f--- kind of name is "Kid"? How am I supposed to look up p--- of her? >> Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)11:58:36 No.595232409 Anonymous 04/11/22(Mon)11:58:55 No.595232435 >>595232358 (OP) # Devs played 4d chess with that one

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anon wonders if he's a pedophile | /r/Greentext

le: LaetitiaCloseUp.png (127 KB, 241x251) Am I a p--------? Anonymous 01/28/23(Sat)18:39:15 No.71999234 ► >>71999246 >>71999290 >>71999309 >>71999336 >>71999375 >family reunion >10 yo niece insisted of sitting on my lap >sit straight up on my crotch >tickles me while grinding her butt on my crotch >got a boner I am consider turning myself in tomorrow...... Anonymous 01/28/23(Sat) 18:41:10 No.71999246 >>71999234 (OP). too normalfag to be one come back in 2 years Anonymous 01/28/23(Sat)18:43:25 No.71999264 ► >>71999279 Sounds like your d--- got stimulated by the movement rather than because you were attracted to her, so no. We can get boners at the weirdest of times or at the stupidest s---. You'd be a p--- if you were attracted to her beforehand. ☐ Anonymous 01/28/23(Sat)18:45:09 No.71999279 >>71999264 I did it. like I subconsciously placed her on my crotch instead of just let her sit on my legs........A major part of this incident is on me...... Anonymous 01/28/23(Sat)18:45:21 No.71999281 >>71999297 >>71999310 If she actually behaves sexually and wasn't just shifting around, consider looking into her home life. Abused children can display sexual behaviors that are out of place. Or you know f--- her

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Anon’s special order | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 844 KB PNG 01/28/23(Sat)11:03:04 No.72000330 Fun story about Little Caesar's: >be me a few months ago >have foot fetish that manifests itself in interesting ways >decide to post a craigslist ad looking for a woman to crush a pizza with her bare feet, videotape herself doing it, and deliver me the pizza >9/10 with very nice, slender feet responds >set things up >get a nice verification video from her talking about how her feet are sweaty and detailing what she will do just to make sure it really is her >verification alone makes me diamonds >meet up with her in a parking lot, give her the money and she gives me the pizza, very few words exchanged >eat the entire pizza over the course of the night >it is absolutely disgusting and I keep dry heaving with each time I swallow, but I manage to down it all >shudder and become nauseous whenever I see Little Caesars or somebody mentions it

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Anon at a family reunion | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Am I a p--------? >family reunion >10 yo niece insisted of sitting on my lap >sit straight up on my crotch >tickles me while grinding her butt on my crotch >got a boner I am consider turning myself in tomorrow...... 127 KB PNG 01/28/23(Sat)15:39:15 No.71999234 23 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon tells a wholesome story for a change. | /r/Greentext

File: 1377219945193.gif-(1006 KB, 500x333, sad charlie gif.gif) TAILS Anonymous (ID: hP/+5lwj) 08/22/13(Thu)21:05:45 No.501550517 Replies: >>501551059 >>501551818 Feels thread? >have a friend named Paul >paul is awsome >polite,chivilraus. will give you 50 bucks and not care if you pay him back >general good guy greg type >training to be a paramedic, which is a big hit with the ladies >we all have been planning this camping trip for about a month >get everything set, times locations, carpooling, everything >Paul says he cant go, it falls on his little bro's birthday >dont even know he had little brother >tell him we can all go and visit, or he can even go if he wants >paul says thanks but its just going to be a little get together. nothing special, itll be boring and to just go without him. he'll go to next one >we get this idea to follow him surprise them with a party (some of the girls in the group are the "every sitution needs party planner" type) >not one of our smarter ideas >pack up a car full of party supplies, everything except beer >paul doesnt drink >get up early, follow paul to his town >joking about we're undercover when suddenly..oh no >no no no no no no > paul drives into a cemetary >please be a shortcut please be a shortcut >nope >we watch him get out with a liter of soda, and a package of cupcakes >goes over to a headstone, puts a cupcake on top wth a it cande in it and a cup of soda >pulls out a chair,does the same for himself and starts talking to the it >an hour or so later, the candle is almost burnt out and the food is gone >he starts packing up, before he leaves he puts a little present on top next to the cupcake >as soon as he places it, he kneels down and starts to cry for about 15 minutes >paul is not the type to cry about anything >gets the last of his things, packs up and heads back >dead silence for the ride back >see him 2 days later, ask him about the party >"oh it was fun. I got him a new stack of baseball cards. can you believe kids still like those? I guess he'll always be 12" drunk driver killed his brother when he was 15.

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Anon is a schizo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 222 KB JPG 01/28/23(Sat)12:17:21 No.893401380 >have beautiful gf, oneitis >she travels to New Zealand with some friends for the summer >they go to beach >riptide and undertow gets her and her friend >friend manages to get out >gf still stuck out there >no one can get to her The ocean takes her. She never came home. But what haunts me to this day, is that she was calling out my name >she knew I was thousands of miles way >in her final breaths she called for me to save her >I wasn't there to save her I miss you everyday Laura

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happens to the best of us | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12/28/22(Wed)04:18:59 No.2379512 >>2379507 (OP) # >sit at the window or isle seat on plane >allow the poor soul in the middle to have both armrests >sit at the middle seat >have to fight tooth and nail to keep my elbows there Why are people like this. >>2379551 # >>2380939 # >>2383678 #

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Anon hates American Psycho | /r/Greentext

AMERICAN PSYCHO Finally watched this overrated trash, Its so bad, take the memes out and the movie is a 4 at best Anonymous C btw, none of it happened, all in his head, daydreaming or having psychotic nightmares. >> Anonymous 01/22/23(Sun)12:41:36 No. 179586296 >Be OP >Watches American Psycho for the first time >Absolutely loves it >Wishes to be a sigma grindr just like Patrick Bateman >Does some research into the filmmakers and the original book to satiate obsession >W--.jpg >Discovers the film was Written and Directed by women (Mary Harron and Guinevere Turner) >T-that's okay. The book was written by a man so it doesn't count. >crisis averted.png >But then... >Huey Lewis and the Jews music stops.jpg >The author of the original book is gay?! >Reality is now distorted >The fabric of time and space is beginning to crumble right before your very eyes >This can't be >Rushes over to 4channel to say movie is gay and overrated and that only zoomies like it. >"Oh well... At least I have Fight Club"

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realest greentext ever | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 303 KB PNG 01/28/23(Sat) 20:34:38 No.893417176 Fun facts! You are: >Worthless >Friendless >Girlfriendless >A virgin >Overweight >Mentally ill >Autistic and retarded Nobody likes you. Everybody hates you and talks about how weird you are behind your back. You are the laughingstock of every group you ever interact with. Your parents are genetic trash that produced crappy offspring. You are socially awkward and you cannot have the same fun and happy experiences as others because of this. You will grow old and unhappy and will die alone. You are absolutely nothing and will never be anything or anyone. You will browse 4chan alone in mother's basement untill you finally gain the courage to an hero.

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