Anon indulges in miniscule amounts of tom-foolary | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 02/18/16(Thu)18:02:39 No.26585764 File: pepe.jpg (32 KB, 563x542) >In walmart >bored as f--- waiting on mom >go off by myself >go to toy aisle >some 6-7 year old kid being a f----- >tries to throw some foam dart thing at me >i initially laugh it off and walk away >he does it again >tell him to stop it very sternly >he picks up a plastic sword and starts hitting my legs with it >check to see nobody else around >check for cameras, can't see any >kick him full force in the crotch, as hard as i can >he drops the floor and starts bawwing his eyes out >hastily make my escape >go around the corner >see his roastie mom go to comfort him >26586317 >> >quickly walk outside >sit in the car until my mom gets out >"oh did you get bored anon?" >mfw little f--- never saw that coming this was about 4 years ago

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon learns more than they bargained for | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/23(Wed)21:04:58 No.71968220 >steal condoms from older bro so I can f--- my boyfriend >my boyfriend is too big to fit them >read the little packet >snug fit I didnt need to know this. 4 KB JPG

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Anon wants a meal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 822669 07/30/22(Sat) 18:53:24 No.546058 1647498905152.jpg 275 KB JPG >Feed me the 3 gorges dam

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Anon lives in the /tv/ apartment complex | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/23(Wed)17:56:36 No.179731422 >hear knocking outside my kinostation >check hallway and see a cute girl >"anon would you like to see my kino collection?" >itshappening.mp3 >follow her to her apartment 72 KB JPG >as we enter she offers me a whopper >eyes widen in fear as I realize what's really going on >she unzips herself and it's the f------ Burger King >sings the whopper theme song as he chases me with a spatula >pull out my emergency McRib >the Burger King bristles and scurries into the vents keep an eye out lads, he's prowling somewhere

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Anon says Only Date Virgins | /r/Greentext

4:43 >get in a really bad argument with my gf of 1.5 years >don't speak to each other for a full day >reconcile, talk things out >fingering her 474% >she's INCREDIBLY wet and into it, more than I think she's ever been since we've been dating >suddenly she starts crying, like badly >stop immediately cause I'm not trying to go to f------ jail and ask her what's wrong >said she had a flashback of a repressed memory of when an ex for years ago cheated on her, but she took him back, they had sex, and he cheated on her again >keeps crying >calm her down and try to be supportive >"I'm sorry to that happened to you, you're in a safe space, let me know what I can do " etc. >go to bed with a dry d--- >she's still upset the next day >says she wants to initiate sex next time... when she's ready >keep it together, just say "sure whatever makes you comfortable, I'm here for you" and try to forget about the whole thing But I can't forget about the whole thing. What the f--- happened? 3h (1/25 12:45) - 28199894 And this is why you date virgins 3h (1/25 13:02) - 28200000 4 Replies >>28199868 (OP) >really wet >thought about a dude who cheated on her OP on suicide watch and he doesn't even know it

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Anon is down under | /r/Greentext

Anonymous How do I stop being a coomer ******* *** 90 KB JPG 01/23/23(Mon)21:50:56 No.893172145 I'm seriously so sick of it. I can manage to go 3-4 days tops before I find myself ridiculously horny and unable to do anything without jerking off. If I don't j------- I'll spend most of my day just fantasizing idk. I'm so f------ miserable. 130 Replies / 12 Images View Thread

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anon's grades suck | /r/Greentext

File: IMG20221128003507.jpg (379 KB, 1200x1600) OPITE Anonymous 01/25/23(Wed)21:27:15 No.893261142 ► >be me >come from school >"Anon, your grades suck. No dnd today." >two days worth of prepped work and a custom mini for BBEG can go up my ass now >go to my gf >"come home." at like, 7pm >"do your f------ homework" like 10 times in the past hour why are parents like this /b/ros? They wanted me to get social, now they don't let me be social. My grades aren't even that bad, there are no full F's, but every time I get one they scream their asses off. F--- that Anonymous 01/25/23 (Wed)21:28:38 No.893261191 >>893261231 Anonymous 01/25/23(Wed)21:29:52 >>893261191 >mfw it's 10th grade That is just how 8th grade goes sometimes. No.893261231

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Anon is miserable | /r/Greentext

Anonymous who's the biggest loser on /r9(...) CONSUMMATUR ANKET 676 KB PNG 01/25/23(Wed)09:01:17 No.71962299 >21 >still live with family >still stuck in same s--- town I've always lived in >zero friends, girlfriend ever >college dropout (couldn't choose what to major in) >slave tier job at a warehouse >only 7k saved >zero talents, qualifications, interests, skills, or idea what to do >ugly as f--- It's so f------ over. I've gone on tiktok and see people younger than me with 6 figure jobs and insane physiques. I've literally ruined my entire life and wasted my youth without ever getting to have one. I feel hopeless and suicidal. I bought a shotgun last year and I think about using it all the time.

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Anon does repairs | /r/Greentext

10/11/22(Tue)16:01:36 No.2481931 : Anonymous Not the worst that happened to me but possibly funniest >Removing s---- old rotten fence >step on 4" rusty nail stuck in bit of wood >rip bastard out, chuck it at wall and hit hospital for tetanus stab and hole glue. They said I should have brought nail with me but f--- it >get home and start clearing again, immediately step on same nail board again with other foot >back to hospital, took nailboard with me this time >docs don't even want to see it... w-- > get home, sit on sofa and feel pain in my left arse cheek > same f------ nail, fell out of my pocket >>2481941 # >>2482382 # >>2482619 #

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They took his fucking chickens!!!! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10 KB PNG >He kept screaming "MY CHICKENS MY CHICKENS THEY RAN AND TOOK MY F------ CHICKENS AND HENS" >No chickens or moving cars in sight What the f--- was that about? : Anonymous 50 KB JPG >>71963877 # : Anonymous >>71963595 # no chickens am sad now :( : Anonymous 01/25/23(Wed)13:44:02 No.7196321 >went out for a drink last night >Pretty quiet, light amount of snow but wasnt sticking >Before i got to the bar I saw a Mexican dude running across the street 559 KB GIF 01/25/23(Wed)14:13:55 No.71963595 >>71963211 (OP) # Chicken theft is a serious issue. They stole his chickens. 01/25/23(Wed)14:33:55 No.71963877 01/25/23(Wed)14:36:38 No.71963908 man i really didn't need to hear that. f----- my day up i hope this man finds his chickens

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Anon meets a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 16 KB JPG 01/25/23(Wed)19:23:49 No.71962997 calling all selfcutting f--- what do i do >meet a girl in 10th grade >shockingly funny because i never find women funny >i consider her a 9/10 but most people would probably think shes a 7 >she usually brings her friends but sometimes its just her >gives me her phone number over the summer >w-- nobody has ever asked for my phone number >we hang out a lot over the summer at her dad's house (her parents are divorced) >dad is cool with me hanging out with her probably cause im a scrawny pale ass mf >usually watch netflix or play on our switches >maybe a year or so later im staying the night while her dad is out of town >no i dont f--- her ill get that out of the way >we were kind of like play fighting i guess idk how to phrase it but we were pushing each other around >snag her long sleeve shirt sleeve and roll it back by accident >cuts, lots of em >i stare at them blank-faced like a dumbass not knowing what to think >she kind of awkwardly laughs it off and is pretty quiet the rest of the night >more talkative in the morning, but after i leave she stops texting me as much >after about a day she stops texting me altogether >hasnt texted me since >its been a week help what the f--- do i do

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Fucking sent this to my mom while trying to screenshot it, how do I recover bros? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 5 KB JPG 07/01/19(Mon)18:53:29 No.803637336 >I wake up >Make some breakfast >A bowl of cereal to start off the day >Gobble it down >Nine o'clock >Oh no I'm gonna be late to school >Make it to school before the bell rings >Everyone makes a mad dash to class >All is quiet >Not a sound >Damn it's good >Yelling from the back is heard >One of the girls says she saw a gnome >"Under there!" The thot cries >Vinny looks under the cabinet and yells >Everyone else screams >Boutta nope on outta here >Everyone scrambles away >Everyone is now thoroughly scared >No one moves >Gnome runs out towards us >NOPE NOPE NOPE >One person gets trampled while leaving >Make my way out of the class >Everyone evacuated the school >Damn gnomes Now look at each first letter capitalized

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Kids think, dying is like fainting | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/07/19(Sun)05:52:59 No.804055110 >be me >be in elementary school >its the weekend so I was outside by myself >see kids from school being retarded and playing with tree branches 251 KB PNG >keep standing im my yard >they run up to me with the sticks and start saying they're gonna hit me with it W--.jpg >I get scared and run inside >autism kicks in Idea.png >i grab a pocket knife and put it in my pocket then go back outside >the kids start threatening me again >i pull out my knife >i expect them to run >one of the kids scream "stab me" ThisWasntThePlan.json >I get scared and run back inside >This time I stay inside

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