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Anonymous 02/18/16(Thu)18:02:39 No.26585764 File: pepe.jpg (32 KB, 563x542) >In walmart >bored as f--- waiting on mom >go off by myself >go to toy aisle >some 6-7 year old kid being a f----- >tries to throw some foam dart thing at me >i initially laugh it off and walk away >he does it again >tell him to stop it very sternly >he picks up a plastic sword and starts hitting my legs with it >check to see nobody else around >check for cameras, can't see any >kick him full force in the crotch, as hard as i can >he drops the floor and starts bawwing his eyes out >hastily make my escape >go around the corner >see his roastie mom go to comfort him >26586317 >> >quickly walk outside >sit in the car until my mom gets out >"oh did you get bored anon?" >mfw little f--- never saw that coming this was about 4 years ago

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: Anonymous 10/26/24(Sat) 10:58:14 No.204864976 maxresdefault (3).jpg 73 KB JPG >you're gaslighting me! >you're love bombing me! >you're stonewalling me! >you're mansplaining to me! realistically, how do you respond to this?

GE Anonymous "I will refund 11/27/24(Wed)23:23:27 No.695792406 Valve Just Put Game Publishers On Notice. 1.1M views 5 days ago Bellular News your game." aa 17:58 IMG_7847.jpg 332 KB JPG >DUDE, IM THE WHOLESOME VIDEO GAME SANTA, WE DONT EVEN CARE ABOUT MONEY LMAO >destroys indie devs by forcing them to accept refunds even though the small game they released was literally under the 2 hour threshold for playing and being able to refund F--- Gabe. He's a scumbag. Anonymous >>695792406 (OP) # 11/27/24(Wed)23:25:51 No.695792505 The customer is ALWAYS right >>695793068 # >>695794602 # >>695795310 # Anonymous >>695792406 (OP) # 11/27/24(Wed)23:26:12 No.695792525 If your game is s----- enough that even people who bought it on steam instead of pirating demands a refund it's your fault Anonymous 11/27/24(Wed)23:26:42 No.695792549 Be thankful for Gabe. The second he dies, a brainless profitbot 9000 takes his place, undoes everything he did, and guts Valve like a fish for private equity wealth.

Anonymous 89KB JPG 01/18/20(Sat) 12:25:09 No.818739837 >be me >been having a s--- week >take long shower >lay on back buck naked on bed and close eyes >try not to cry >feelsbadman.jpg >doggo snoozing on bed suddenly wakes up and stretches >Starts walking over my legs but stops over my genitals >shakes head and violently slaps my d--- and balls multiple times with floppy ears >laugh uncontrollably for 5min straight Instantly feel better. Thanks doggo bro.

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Anon learns more than they bargained for | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/23(Wed)21:04:58 No.71968220 >steal condoms from older bro so I can f--- my boyfriend >my boyfriend is too big to fit them >read the little packet >snug fit I didnt need to know this. 4 KB JPG

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Anon wants a meal | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 822669 07/30/22(Sat) 18:53:24 No.546058 1647498905152.jpg 275 KB JPG >Feed me the 3 gorges dam

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Anon lives in the /tv/ apartment complex | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/25/23(Wed)17:56:36 No.179731422 >hear knocking outside my kinostation >check hallway and see a cute girl >"anon would you like to see my kino collection?" >itshappening.mp3 >follow her to her apartment 72 KB JPG >as we enter she offers me a whopper >eyes widen in fear as I realize what's really going on >she unzips herself and it's the f------ Burger King >sings the whopper theme song as he chases me with a spatula >pull out my emergency McRib >the Burger King bristles and scurries into the vents keep an eye out lads, he's prowling somewhere

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Anon says Only Date Virgins | /r/Greentext

4:43 >get in a really bad argument with my gf of 1.5 years >don't speak to each other for a full day >reconcile, talk things out >fingering her 474% >she's INCREDIBLY wet and into it, more than I think she's ever been since we've been dating >suddenly she starts crying, like badly >stop immediately cause I'm not trying to go to f------ jail and ask her what's wrong >said she had a flashback of a repressed memory of when an ex for years ago cheated on her, but she took him back, they had sex, and he cheated on her again >keeps crying >calm her down and try to be supportive >"I'm sorry to that happened to you, you're in a safe space, let me know what I can do " etc. >go to bed with a dry d--- >she's still upset the next day >says she wants to initiate sex next time... when she's ready >keep it together, just say "sure whatever makes you comfortable, I'm here for you" and try to forget about the whole thing But I can't forget about the whole thing. What the f--- happened? 3h (1/25 12:45) - 28199894 And this is why you date virgins 3h (1/25 13:02) - 28200000 4 Replies >>28199868 (OP) >really wet >thought about a dude who cheated on her OP on suicide watch and he doesn't even know it

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Anon is down under | /r/Greentext

Anonymous How do I stop being a coomer ******* *** 90 KB JPG 01/23/23(Mon)21:50:56 No.893172145 I'm seriously so sick of it. I can manage to go 3-4 days tops before I find myself ridiculously horny and unable to do anything without jerking off. If I don't j------- I'll spend most of my day just fantasizing idk. I'm so f------ miserable. 130 Replies / 12 Images View Thread

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anon's grades suck | /r/Greentext

File: IMG20221128003507.jpg (379 KB, 1200x1600) OPITE Anonymous 01/25/23(Wed)21:27:15 No.893261142 ► >be me >come from school >"Anon, your grades suck. No dnd today." >two days worth of prepped work and a custom mini for BBEG can go up my ass now >go to my gf >"come home." at like, 7pm >"do your f------ homework" like 10 times in the past hour why are parents like this /b/ros? They wanted me to get social, now they don't let me be social. My grades aren't even that bad, there are no full F's, but every time I get one they scream their asses off. F--- that Anonymous 01/25/23 (Wed)21:28:38 No.893261191 >>893261231 Anonymous 01/25/23(Wed)21:29:52 >>893261191 >mfw it's 10th grade That is just how 8th grade goes sometimes. No.893261231

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Anon is miserable | /r/Greentext

Anonymous who's the biggest loser on /r9(...) CONSUMMATUR ANKET 676 KB PNG 01/25/23(Wed)09:01:17 No.71962299 >21 >still live with family >still stuck in same s--- town I've always lived in >zero friends, girlfriend ever >college dropout (couldn't choose what to major in) >slave tier job at a warehouse >only 7k saved >zero talents, qualifications, interests, skills, or idea what to do >ugly as f--- It's so f------ over. I've gone on tiktok and see people younger than me with 6 figure jobs and insane physiques. I've literally ruined my entire life and wasted my youth without ever getting to have one. I feel hopeless and suicidal. I bought a shotgun last year and I think about using it all the time.

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Anon does repairs | /r/Greentext

10/11/22(Tue)16:01:36 No.2481931 : Anonymous Not the worst that happened to me but possibly funniest >Removing s---- old rotten fence >step on 4" rusty nail stuck in bit of wood >rip bastard out, chuck it at wall and hit hospital for tetanus stab and hole glue. They said I should have brought nail with me but f--- it >get home and start clearing again, immediately step on same nail board again with other foot >back to hospital, took nailboard with me this time >docs don't even want to see it... w-- > get home, sit on sofa and feel pain in my left arse cheek > same f------ nail, fell out of my pocket >>2481941 # >>2482382 # >>2482619 #

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They took his fucking chickens!!!! | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10 KB PNG >He kept screaming "MY CHICKENS MY CHICKENS THEY RAN AND TOOK MY F------ CHICKENS AND HENS" >No chickens or moving cars in sight What the f--- was that about? : Anonymous 50 KB JPG >>71963877 # : Anonymous >>71963595 # no chickens am sad now :( : Anonymous 01/25/23(Wed)13:44:02 No.7196321 >went out for a drink last night >Pretty quiet, light amount of snow but wasnt sticking >Before i got to the bar I saw a Mexican dude running across the street 559 KB GIF 01/25/23(Wed)14:13:55 No.71963595 >>71963211 (OP) # Chicken theft is a serious issue. They stole his chickens. 01/25/23(Wed)14:33:55 No.71963877 01/25/23(Wed)14:36:38 No.71963908 man i really didn't need to hear that. f----- my day up i hope this man finds his chickens

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Anon meets a girl | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 16 KB JPG 01/25/23(Wed)19:23:49 No.71962997 calling all selfcutting f--- what do i do >meet a girl in 10th grade >shockingly funny because i never find women funny >i consider her a 9/10 but most people would probably think shes a 7 >she usually brings her friends but sometimes its just her >gives me her phone number over the summer >w-- nobody has ever asked for my phone number >we hang out a lot over the summer at her dad's house (her parents are divorced) >dad is cool with me hanging out with her probably cause im a scrawny pale ass mf >usually watch netflix or play on our switches >maybe a year or so later im staying the night while her dad is out of town >no i dont f--- her ill get that out of the way >we were kind of like play fighting i guess idk how to phrase it but we were pushing each other around >snag her long sleeve shirt sleeve and roll it back by accident >cuts, lots of em >i stare at them blank-faced like a dumbass not knowing what to think >she kind of awkwardly laughs it off and is pretty quiet the rest of the night >more talkative in the morning, but after i leave she stops texting me as much >after about a day she stops texting me altogether >hasnt texted me since >its been a week help what the f--- do i do

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Fucking sent this to my mom while trying to screenshot it, how do I recover bros? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 5 KB JPG 07/01/19(Mon)18:53:29 No.803637336 >I wake up >Make some breakfast >A bowl of cereal to start off the day >Gobble it down >Nine o'clock >Oh no I'm gonna be late to school >Make it to school before the bell rings >Everyone makes a mad dash to class >All is quiet >Not a sound >Damn it's good >Yelling from the back is heard >One of the girls says she saw a gnome >"Under there!" The thot cries >Vinny looks under the cabinet and yells >Everyone else screams >Boutta nope on outta here >Everyone scrambles away >Everyone is now thoroughly scared >No one moves >Gnome runs out towards us >NOPE NOPE NOPE >One person gets trampled while leaving >Make my way out of the class >Everyone evacuated the school >Damn gnomes Now look at each first letter capitalized

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Kids think, dying is like fainting | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/07/19(Sun)05:52:59 No.804055110 >be me >be in elementary school >its the weekend so I was outside by myself >see kids from school being retarded and playing with tree branches 251 KB PNG >keep standing im my yard >they run up to me with the sticks and start saying they're gonna hit me with it W--.jpg >I get scared and run inside >autism kicks in Idea.png >i grab a pocket knife and put it in my pocket then go back outside >the kids start threatening me again >i pull out my knife >i expect them to run >one of the kids scream "stab me" ThisWasntThePlan.json >I get scared and run back inside >This time I stay inside

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Greentext Stories - Anon indulges in miniscule amounts of tom-foolary | /r/Greentext

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Anonymous 02/18/16(Thu)18:02:39 No.26585764 File: pepe.jpg (32 KB, 563x542) >In walmart >bored as f--- waiting on mom >go off by myself >go to toy aisle >some 6-7 year old kid being a f----- >tries to throw some foam dart thing at me >i initially laugh it off and walk away >he does it again >tell him to stop it very sternly >he picks up a plastic sword and starts hitting my legs with it >check to see nobody else around >check for cameras, can't see any >kick him full force in the crotch, as hard as i can >he drops the floor and starts bawwing his eyes out >hastily make my escape >go around the corner >see his roastie mom go to comfort him >26586317 >> >quickly walk outside >sit in the car until my mom gets out >"oh did you get bored anon?" >mfw little f--- never saw that coming this was about 4 years ago

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