Anon has a sister. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 01/18/23(Wed)19:58:13 No.71872320 >looked through my 15 year old sisters stuff while she was away because it's f------ hilarious >found a diary ASL >jackpot 55 KB PNG >its all dated and organized, and written with maximum precision which is very odd because everything she owns is filthy and her handwriting has always been a mess >lots of cringey stuff for the most part until about 3 months ago >she's extremely infatuated with this boy >the text about him get more and more unhinged the deeper I read >from simple "I hope he notices me today" to paragraphs about how she followed him home and stole his jacket while his family was away >Huh. So that's where that unfamiliar oversized jacket came from. >paragraphs and detailed images of what it'd be like to dissect him (she's an excellent artist which made it 1000x more creepy) >paragraph after paragraph about all the freaky sex she'd have with him, most of it ending in death I'm honestly f------ scared.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon is Youtube man | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/18/23 (Wed)03:47:39 No.71869130 55 KB JPG >Hey guys, Charlie here >heres me explaining every minute detail of a 30 second clip on Twitter over the course of 10 minutes >here's the most milquetoast YouTuber or corporate drama you've ever heard >reviews thing people like: "it's good" >reviews thing people don't like: "it's bad" >all of this is funny because I use the words penis butt and fart in every sentence

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Anon does polish math | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: TrMqFEvJ 01/03/23(Tue)01:33:30 No.410639017 cja liczebności kobiet do mężczyzu w o un an... age prawdopodobieństwo, że losowo wybrany junior z ESSA dostąpi awansu zawodowego w najbliższym roku. 12. Zawodowy snajper ukraiński trafia ruskiego ,żołnierza" (czyli: oku- panta) ze skutecznością 90%. Obliczyć prawdopodobieństwo, że w 10 nieza- leżnych podejściach snajper wyeliminuje co najmniej 8 ruskich okupantów. W rachunkach wykorzystać odpowiedni warsztat zmiennych losowych. 99A218B7-7670-4836-B85E-DC0B56A60D47.jpg 58 KB JPG Meanwhile in Polish high schools >Professional Ukrainian sniper hits a Russian „,soldier" (meaning: invader) with a success rate of 90%. Calculate the probability that in 10 independent tries the sniper eliminates at least 8 Russian invaders. Use proper random variables in your calculations. holy kek >>410639175 # >>410639189 # >>410639206 # >>410639366 # >>410639428 # >>410639563 # >>410639594 # >>410639665 # >>410639671 # >>410639701 # >>410639721 #

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Anon missed his opportunity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 127 KB JPG Anonymous 01/18/23(Wed)01:30:11 >really like this girl that's 1 in a billion >>71871612 # No.71871598 >we get put in a group together >have my head down the entire time >make no advances >class ends >high school ends >feel the regret in my chest every time I think about it she's f------ chad rn 01/18/23(Wed)01:30:58 No.71871602

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Anon "accidentally" raped his friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)18:59:47 No.24368210 >>24362959 >I think you can be a bitch sometimes? Yeah. It's happened a time or two. Not something I brag about, though. Old greentext: >"accidentally" r---- a friend of mine >she would join me and my wife for some MFF action >sometimes would stay with us for a couple of weeks >one time after much alcohol admits to r---/ravage fantasy >asks me to help her out >explain about safeword >wife is there and hears whole thing >3 days later, I make my move (early evening, no alcohol) >pull out c---, grab her back of head and shove her down >she resists at first then gives lackluster bj >act angry, throw her back onto the couch and rip her t-shirt and panties off >slap her a couple of times complaining about s----- b------- >her face is in shock, crying (c--- getting harder) >shove it in her vag, a little dry at first but don't care >she's still crying while I pound her >grab handy lube, apply it, then start pounding her in the ass >hurts her, more tears >wife is there, kisses her, comforts her >shove c--- back in vag and c-- my brains out >lay back, pull her into my arms to calm her down >she asks "Why did you do that to me?!" >"You asked me to" >wife reminds her of earlier discussion >girl says she's sorry she forgot >said she was still scared but happy it happened >relaxed MFF time later that night Basically I r---- a girl in front of/with my wife and everybody was happy in the end.

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This greentext was written by a spider | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 923 KB JPG >cute >funny >friendly 08/19/21(Thu)12:58:03 No.65049060 >good mothers >funky dance moves >favorite food is mosquitos and termites >venom not dangerous >don't bite people >don't make irritating webs >easy to find why haven't you released an army of jumping spiders in your house

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Anon lost his master | /r/Greentext

No.179379603 File: dying-yoda-return-of-the-(...).jpg (171 KB, 1280x720) >>179374914 (OP). >me 20 6/10 nerd >her 8/10 cutie spanish girl >first and only people either of has ever done anything sexual with Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)22:56:18 >be good friends for 6 month but both too awkward >be on Vanilla WOW JUST getting a tank for Sunken Temple >get a call from her telling me no one is home, NO ONE IS HOME >tell my group im about to lose my virginity >group goes wild wishes me luck >head over >both nervouse >throw on retuen of the jedi and we start awkwardly fooling around >put my penis in and look over >yoda and my virginty are gone

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Anons dad is based | /r/Greentext

>See's my sister getting ready >"going out?" >"Yeah, the Bae is coming to get me" (she f------ used Bae.) >"Oh i'd love to meet him, have him come in!" >sister brings bf in our house >my dad pretended he was in the bathroom. >he was in fact, slipping into something more comfortable >he walks out with my mom's bathrobe (giant fluffy white collar, about 3 feet to short for him.) >his speedo on. The speedo he never wore because it was way to tight, yet he saved it, just for this moment. >walks out >"OH YOU MUST BE JUSTIN" >reaches out for a handshake >kid grabs his hand >dad yanks him over and bear hugs him >"Ohhhh your hair smells nice, what is that? O'ley?" >kid is horrified >"uhhhh...no...uhhh...c-can we go babe? we might be late" >they leave >my dad just looks over and says "Do you think that was legal? My balls are hanging out." Best dad ever.

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L notices a pattern | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/24/22 (Wed)06:05:53 No. 173095521 File: original.png (603 KB, 1280x720) >>173095708 >>173095445 (OP) >LIGHTI >Despite being just 13% of the population, 50% of names in this notebook belong to african americans. >Explain yourself immediately.

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Anon goes whale-watching | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 44 KB JPEG 1/17/2023,7:51:17 PM > NOOOOOO YOU CAN'T SAY THAT SPENDING $100 A WEEK ON MY PHONE GAME IS IRRESPONSIBLE > LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS I f------ hate talking to people No.34470495

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Anon should have said Gloc and he won't be bullied anymore. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21 (Fri)06:24:41 No.851663505 > be in middle school English period > was told to write a word starting with the letter "g" and many syllables as possible > cannot repeat words > my turn >mind started to race as I feel judgmental stares > wrote "Gobbledygook" > classmates laughed 430 KB PNG > teacher said, "Don't make up words, anon" > everyone mocked my vocabulary for the rest of the day > went home and found dictionary > next day showed it to the teacher that it exists > rather than explaining it to the class, teacher replied, "Stop being a sore loser." >mfw Also, I scored a 98% in the final English exam yet my English grade on my report card was a C.

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Anon wants to tell you about the best sandwich he's ever had. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/15/22(Thu)00:01:43 No.18698453 ► >>18698491 >>18698605 File: YGOQHnt0Gfl.jpg (78 KB, 1280x720) "Lemme tell ya bout the best f-----' sanwich I eva had, I got one of dose giant gummy bears and put it thru a deli slicer, an put that s--- on some f-----' poptarts, I ain't f-----' aroun here Joe Rogan, the gummy? Got it off a guy I know down in Queens, lemme tell ya sumthin, that m--------- had enough THC to turn 6 elephants retarded and I ate the whole f----- thing on the way here tonight. You're in for a wild ride Roe Jogan cause I aint tell ya the worse part, the gummy was sugar free, an I ate the whole f----- thing. I locked the doors Joe Jogan, I stuffed the vents, that humidifier is pumping out a ridiculous amount of DMT, were fighting god tonight Roe Rogan, an I'm gonna s--- all over that cocksuckers carpet"

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Anon knows the truth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/20/17(Mon)23:49:59 No.35677680 >>35677741 >>35677803 >>35677844 >>35677916 >>35677958>>35677968>>356779 1482125768052.png (349 KB, 757x632) >be me >see through roasty deceit at an early age >girls in elementary school always telling me I was handsome and had nice hair >knew they were really making fun of me in secret coded women speak >tell them to stop talking about me and punch them in the jaw >female teacher comes in and sends me home for the day >f------ roasty solidarity >dumb girls stop bothering me >girls in middle school always asking me out >I knew they were only doing it as a prank >tell them to f--- off and throw their books out the window >they stop trying to prank me >mission accomplished.jpg >play soccer over the summer >get really hot and take off my jersey >some crazy roasty bitch from my math class steals it >find her house and take a s--- on the welcome matt >in highschool >some girl starts hanging around me >obviously just wants me to do her homework for her >tell her to leave me alone and also go f--- herself >roastard keeps talking to me >eventually tells me she wants to go out with me >she wants money and slave labor from me >tell her she's human garbage and that I'll never date her and hope no one else ever does >2 weeks later she pull out the full roast arsenal and melodramatically "attempts suicide" >her dumb c--- friends ask me to visit her >hell no.png >tell them to jump in a pit and never to talk to me again >working at a diner the summer after I graduated >some female coworker mistakes my politeness for friendship >starts talking to me and asking if I want to hang out outside of work >tell her I'm busy and to stop asking >one day she calls me into the womens room to unclog the toilet >typical roasty, can't do anything by herself >go in >toilet is fine >coworker pushes up against me and starts taking her shirt off >she starts to take mine off too >clearly trying to get me blamed for sexual harassment and sue the business to make a quick buck >don't fall for her tricks >punch her in the gut >leave the bathroom call the police and the manager >she gets fired

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