Anon is Youtube man | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 01/18/23 (Wed)03:47:39 No.71869130 55 KB JPG >Hey guys, Charlie here >heres me explaining every minute detail of a 30 second clip on Twitter over the course of 10 minutes >here's the most milquetoast YouTuber or corporate drama you've ever heard >reviews thing people like: "it's good" >reviews thing people don't like: "it's bad" >all of this is funny because I use the words penis butt and fart in every sentence

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon does polish math | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: TrMqFEvJ 01/03/23(Tue)01:33:30 No.410639017 cja liczebności kobiet do mężczyzu w o un an... age prawdopodobieństwo, że losowo wybrany junior z ESSA dostąpi awansu zawodowego w najbliższym roku. 12. Zawodowy snajper ukraiński trafia ruskiego ,żołnierza" (czyli: oku- panta) ze skutecznością 90%. Obliczyć prawdopodobieństwo, że w 10 nieza- leżnych podejściach snajper wyeliminuje co najmniej 8 ruskich okupantów. W rachunkach wykorzystać odpowiedni warsztat zmiennych losowych. 99A218B7-7670-4836-B85E-DC0B56A60D47.jpg 58 KB JPG Meanwhile in Polish high schools >Professional Ukrainian sniper hits a Russian „,soldier" (meaning: invader) with a success rate of 90%. Calculate the probability that in 10 independent tries the sniper eliminates at least 8 Russian invaders. Use proper random variables in your calculations. holy kek >>410639175 # >>410639189 # >>410639206 # >>410639366 # >>410639428 # >>410639563 # >>410639594 # >>410639665 # >>410639671 # >>410639701 # >>410639721 #

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Anon missed his opportunity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 127 KB JPG Anonymous 01/18/23(Wed)01:30:11 >really like this girl that's 1 in a billion >>71871612 # No.71871598 >we get put in a group together >have my head down the entire time >make no advances >class ends >high school ends >feel the regret in my chest every time I think about it she's f------ chad rn 01/18/23(Wed)01:30:58 No.71871602

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Anon "accidentally" raped his friend | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)18:59:47 No.24368210 >>24362959 >I think you can be a bitch sometimes? Yeah. It's happened a time or two. Not something I brag about, though. Old greentext: >"accidentally" r---- a friend of mine >she would join me and my wife for some MFF action >sometimes would stay with us for a couple of weeks >one time after much alcohol admits to r---/ravage fantasy >asks me to help her out >explain about safeword >wife is there and hears whole thing >3 days later, I make my move (early evening, no alcohol) >pull out c---, grab her back of head and shove her down >she resists at first then gives lackluster bj >act angry, throw her back onto the couch and rip her t-shirt and panties off >slap her a couple of times complaining about s----- b------- >her face is in shock, crying (c--- getting harder) >shove it in her vag, a little dry at first but don't care >she's still crying while I pound her >grab handy lube, apply it, then start pounding her in the ass >hurts her, more tears >wife is there, kisses her, comforts her >shove c--- back in vag and c-- my brains out >lay back, pull her into my arms to calm her down >she asks "Why did you do that to me?!" >"You asked me to" >wife reminds her of earlier discussion >girl says she's sorry she forgot >said she was still scared but happy it happened >relaxed MFF time later that night Basically I r---- a girl in front of/with my wife and everybody was happy in the end.

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This greentext was written by a spider | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 923 KB JPG >cute >funny >friendly 08/19/21(Thu)12:58:03 No.65049060 >good mothers >funky dance moves >favorite food is mosquitos and termites >venom not dangerous >don't bite people >don't make irritating webs >easy to find why haven't you released an army of jumping spiders in your house

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Anon lost his master | /r/Greentext

No.179379603 File: dying-yoda-return-of-the-(...).jpg (171 KB, 1280x720) >>179374914 (OP). >me 20 6/10 nerd >her 8/10 cutie spanish girl >first and only people either of has ever done anything sexual with Anonymous 01/17/23(Tue)22:56:18 >be good friends for 6 month but both too awkward >be on Vanilla WOW JUST getting a tank for Sunken Temple >get a call from her telling me no one is home, NO ONE IS HOME >tell my group im about to lose my virginity >group goes wild wishes me luck >head over >both nervouse >throw on retuen of the jedi and we start awkwardly fooling around >put my penis in and look over >yoda and my virginty are gone

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Anons dad is based | /r/Greentext

>See's my sister getting ready >"going out?" >"Yeah, the Bae is coming to get me" (she f------ used Bae.) >"Oh i'd love to meet him, have him come in!" >sister brings bf in our house >my dad pretended he was in the bathroom. >he was in fact, slipping into something more comfortable >he walks out with my mom's bathrobe (giant fluffy white collar, about 3 feet to short for him.) >his speedo on. The speedo he never wore because it was way to tight, yet he saved it, just for this moment. >walks out >"OH YOU MUST BE JUSTIN" >reaches out for a handshake >kid grabs his hand >dad yanks him over and bear hugs him >"Ohhhh your hair smells nice, what is that? O'ley?" >kid is horrified >"uhhhh...no...uhhh...c-can we go babe? we might be late" >they leave >my dad just looks over and says "Do you think that was legal? My balls are hanging out." Best dad ever.

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L notices a pattern | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/24/22 (Wed)06:05:53 No. 173095521 File: original.png (603 KB, 1280x720) >>173095708 >>173095445 (OP) >LIGHTI >Despite being just 13% of the population, 50% of names in this notebook belong to african americans. >Explain yourself immediately.

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Anon goes whale-watching | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 44 KB JPEG 1/17/2023,7:51:17 PM > NOOOOOO YOU CAN'T SAY THAT SPENDING $100 A WEEK ON MY PHONE GAME IS IRRESPONSIBLE > LET PEOPLE ENJOY THINGS I f------ hate talking to people No.34470495

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Anon should have said Gloc and he won't be bullied anymore. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/09/21 (Fri)06:24:41 No.851663505 > be in middle school English period > was told to write a word starting with the letter "g" and many syllables as possible > cannot repeat words > my turn >mind started to race as I feel judgmental stares > wrote "Gobbledygook" > classmates laughed 430 KB PNG > teacher said, "Don't make up words, anon" > everyone mocked my vocabulary for the rest of the day > went home and found dictionary > next day showed it to the teacher that it exists > rather than explaining it to the class, teacher replied, "Stop being a sore loser." >mfw Also, I scored a 98% in the final English exam yet my English grade on my report card was a C.

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Anon wants to tell you about the best sandwich he's ever had. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/15/22(Thu)00:01:43 No.18698453 ► >>18698491 >>18698605 File: YGOQHnt0Gfl.jpg (78 KB, 1280x720) "Lemme tell ya bout the best f-----' sanwich I eva had, I got one of dose giant gummy bears and put it thru a deli slicer, an put that s--- on some f-----' poptarts, I ain't f-----' aroun here Joe Rogan, the gummy? Got it off a guy I know down in Queens, lemme tell ya sumthin, that m--------- had enough THC to turn 6 elephants retarded and I ate the whole f----- thing on the way here tonight. You're in for a wild ride Roe Jogan cause I aint tell ya the worse part, the gummy was sugar free, an I ate the whole f----- thing. I locked the doors Joe Jogan, I stuffed the vents, that humidifier is pumping out a ridiculous amount of DMT, were fighting god tonight Roe Rogan, an I'm gonna s--- all over that cocksuckers carpet"

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Anon knows the truth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/20/17(Mon)23:49:59 No.35677680 >>35677741 >>35677803 >>35677844 >>35677916 >>35677958>>35677968>>356779 1482125768052.png (349 KB, 757x632) >be me >see through roasty deceit at an early age >girls in elementary school always telling me I was handsome and had nice hair >knew they were really making fun of me in secret coded women speak >tell them to stop talking about me and punch them in the jaw >female teacher comes in and sends me home for the day >f------ roasty solidarity >dumb girls stop bothering me >girls in middle school always asking me out >I knew they were only doing it as a prank >tell them to f--- off and throw their books out the window >they stop trying to prank me >mission accomplished.jpg >play soccer over the summer >get really hot and take off my jersey >some crazy roasty bitch from my math class steals it >find her house and take a s--- on the welcome matt >in highschool >some girl starts hanging around me >obviously just wants me to do her homework for her >tell her to leave me alone and also go f--- herself >roastard keeps talking to me >eventually tells me she wants to go out with me >she wants money and slave labor from me >tell her she's human garbage and that I'll never date her and hope no one else ever does >2 weeks later she pull out the full roast arsenal and melodramatically "attempts suicide" >her dumb c--- friends ask me to visit her >hell no.png >tell them to jump in a pit and never to talk to me again >working at a diner the summer after I graduated >some female coworker mistakes my politeness for friendship >starts talking to me and asking if I want to hang out outside of work >tell her I'm busy and to stop asking >one day she calls me into the womens room to unclog the toilet >typical roasty, can't do anything by herself >go in >toilet is fine >coworker pushes up against me and starts taking her shirt off >she starts to take mine off too >clearly trying to get me blamed for sexual harassment and sue the business to make a quick buck >don't fall for her tricks >punch her in the gut >leave the bathroom call the police and the manager >she gets fired

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anon cracks his back | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 28 KB JPG 01/17/23(Tue)23:19:53 No.892812207 > Be me > Taking my sister to hospital for a routine thing > In waiting room > Back feels weird > Do the ol' twist and crack > Solid second of noise as my spine pops everywhere > Bliss.jpg > Fell my entire back relax afterwards > Woman gives me a weird look and moves away > Continues to give me the side eye like she's afraid of me > Sister finished her thing > Leave without saying a thing

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