Anon tries aunts edibles | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 153 KB PNG 01/10/23(Tue)19:15:45 >doing edibles made by my aunt with a friend >my aunt does not f--- around, the edibles are super strong >i can handle it so i eat a big piece and my friend decides to have one too and assures me he'll be fine >2 hrs later he starts getting a little panicky >without skipping a beat i start yelling "YOU'RE GOING TO F------ DIE H-------- YOUR HEART IS STOPPING FUUUCK BRO STAY WITH ME" >he immediately spirals into a horrible meltdown tier panic attack No.71778052 >starts vomiting everywhere and crying profusely >calls himself an ambulance because he refuses to believe that he's just having a panic attack and is okay >i apologize to him the next day and he left the text on read >we haven't spoken since 4 Replies / 1 Image I don't know why the f--- I did that. Been missing my pal a lot lately and feeling terrible about what I did. Weed makes me f------ evil. View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon goes on a date. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/11/23(Wed)10:32:05 No.71777662 >be me >meet girl on dating app >ask her out >she agrees >go to the place we agreed on >no sight of her 336 KB JPG >she isn't replying to my texts >decide to leave after waiting for like an hour >later that day she texts >"sorry but you're shorter than i expected" >blocks me cucked by my own genes i f------ hate my life

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Anon gets some chick-fil-a | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Anyone else just get hooked on(...) 01/11/23(Wed)00:25:10 No.892397824 49 KB JPG >Be me >hungry as f--- >work up the energy to roll out of bed and get into my s----- 2001 corolla and drive to chick-fil-a >get nuggies and the chick-fil-a sauce >shitsgood.png >get hooked on the sauce >find out you can buy chick-fil-a sauce at just about any grocery store >buy bottle >idea >decide to try putting sauce on different foods >taco bell, chinese takeout, pizza hut, etc >all f------ good >tfw i'm addicted to chick-fil-a sauce >tfw i'm basically a stacy Tbh, i don't really care. I wonder how it would feel like to use it as a lube while jerking off

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Zoomers discover that the bad guy in a TV show who is portrayed in a bad manner is in fact bad | /r/Greentext

Why y'all didn't warn me that The Sopranos had racism?! Lmao 1:34 PM Jan 5, 2023 1.4M Views 69 Retweets 769 Quote Tweets 848 Likes Zoomers be like >Is that a hecking racism in my showerino! 2h (1/6 10:30) - 178836752 JPG 66KB (562 ×600) twitter.jpg 4 Replies >>178836667 (OP) 1h (1/6 11:10) 178837603 1 Reply >>178836667 (OP) Italian gangsters are notoriously racist. 1h (1/6 11:53) 178838639 >>178837603 Can we reach them? Can we tell them to do better? ... ...

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Anon is useless | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Anyone else have similar exper(...) [screaming internally] 18 KB JPG 01/10/23(Tue)15:35:06 No.71770154 >parents let you do whatever >never for a second help you get a job or ask you what your plans are a single time >just assume things will just work themselves out >graduate high school >literally next day sit down and have a talk >so what do you want to do with the rest of your life My parents completely neglected to even try to develop me into a independent adult and are then surprised that I'm not an independent adult. Its like they thought I would just magically find my own way. They truly believed that when it came to their autistic son already showing signs of being an ant-social shut in at 12 that he would just figure it out and everything would just work out.

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Umm.... Source? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous >>4366011 # >>4366019 # >>4366300 11/28/22(Mon)15:12:48 No.4366478 >anon posts an unsourced image s--- >another anon posts another unsourced p------------ >another anon agrees with said p------------ pottery >>4367692 # Anonymous 11/29/22(Tue)23:06:11 No.4367692 >>4366478 # Underground Azerbaijani pottery making forum 61

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Anon tries acid | /r/Greentext

File: 1428583796655.jpg (142 KB, 835x810) File: okkk.png (175 KB, 500x375) Anonymous (ID: CH/7viy) 07/05/14(Sat)03:31:26 No.554774383 okay /b/. story time >be me >beta 15 y/o >had weed a few times, nothing bad happened >decide to try acid, know a guy >hooks me up, go home >close room door, close blinds >time to f------ party >lying on bed waiting for effects to kick in >ohfuckthereitis.jpg >nothing looks right >decide to play some vidya to see what its like >good of zelda on wii >after 10 minutes get hungry >wake up to screaming >too tired to comprehend >go back to sleep >wake up in hospital >mfw >try to leave, door wont open >find key and unlock door, needed alot of force, must have been stuck >go downstairs >see parents on couch >trying to act cool >howstheweather.png >they leave after a while, success >make some nutella toast >taste like s--- >sudden urge to evacuate my bowels >just make it to the toilet before i start errupting >feels good man >decide to sleep, grab blanket and clock the f--- out what actually happened, according to my family >got out of bed and threw zelda game case at the wall >jumped around in front of my off tv swinging a spoon like a wii remote >after an hour of this i shoved the spoon into the keyhole and threw myself against the door untill the lock and my shoulder broke >went downstairs >made a variety of facial expressions at parents while saying weather over and over untill they left >went to kitchen spread nutella onto bare hand and took a bite >blood trail all the way to my sisters room where i sat on her chair and took a huge dump >fell asleep wrapped in a rug from the floor, where sister found me 10 minutes later

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Anon watches the beach volleyball olympics | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)02:52:31 No.892349753 >>892371482 >>892371958 >>892372139 >>892372830 >>892373531 >>892374208 >>892374379 >>892374504 >>892374831 >>892375245 >>892375595 >be wife who has cancer in her vagina >dying in hospital >doctor walks in the room through the door >he tells you there is an experimental treatment >but we must act fast >ring up husband with the news >Darling, the doctor told me that you need to do something. >Listen to me, this is important! >You need to collect cell tissues from inside a healthy vagina. >The doctor said they can be used to fight the cancer. >You must find someone with no STDs! >This doesn't count as cheating.. I give you a free pass. >Wear a condom and then turn it inside out and bring it to the hospital. >If you need help getting an erection with another women, just use the pictures of me on our bedside table. >I love you. >*hang up* Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)02:58:47 No.892350055 >>892351911 >>892358619 >>892358962 >>892359498 >>892359738 >>892359848 >>892360353 >>892360994 >>892361697 >>892362444 >>892363094 >>892349753 >be husband >at home enjoying the peace and quiet >drinking beer with a buddy and watching the beach volleyball olympics >phone rings >*wife is calling* >Hey babe what's up? >[conversation happens] >H--------.. >run upstairs >daughter is on her bed reading a book about slugs >explain to her the situtation >she nods and puts down her book >Okay daddy, we h-have to save mommy! >she lifts her crop top over her head >pulls down her butterfly panties and jumps on the bed >we do the cell tissue gathering procedure >i leave out all the sexy details >because you are probably imagining >a 12 year old being r---- by her dad >you horny p------------ >there's a woman dying of cancer in the hospital >and you thought she could be saved by scraping >some vagina cells out using a penis >what is wrong with you >autism retard

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Anon has a date | /r/Greentext

Anonymous women moment 12 KB PNG 01/10/23(Tue)10:30:47 No.892386272 >Get a date with a girl I've been trying to get along with for the past 3 years lifeisgoood.jpg >only 1 more day till date I'm so hyped I finally happines will come >says "oh sorry anon a concert is happening at its mandatory to attend for me" f------ hell /b/ros I think I'm gonna drink myself into a hellhole again

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reddit anot needs karma | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I need help <2 O 09/29/22(Thu)12:21:25 No.70395619 I'm gonna have to take a few days off. My little brother drowned in his pool yesterday afternoon A D Did anyone try putting him in rice? Lol just kidding take as much time as you need iMessage 20220930_185254.png 288 KB PNG Read 12:39 PM I sent this to my colleague, how do I recover this? 58 Replies / 5 Images .... View Thread

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Anon is not a cool dude | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)17:15:00 No.892380236 ► >>892381377 >>892381620 >>89238 >>892384089 >>892384747 >>892385091 File: IMG_2235.jpg (247 KB, 720x400) >eat a bag of dorito hot chips >feel hot Doritos COOL ORIGINAL >eat a baf of dorito cool chips >still feel hot what other food has false advertising? >>892383243 28669 150ge Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)17:40:45 No.892381377 ► >>892381475 >>892382138 >>89238 dawn >>892380236 Semen, I've eaten loads of it but I'm still scared of going on a boat.

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Anon dates another 4chinner | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 14 KB PNG 01/10/23(Tue)13:58:22 No.892384810 >date goes horribly wrong and she cries >sends me a text two days later to send her a d--- pic females really?

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Anon gets fired | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 22 KB JPG 01/10/23(Tue)20:25:40 No.71773122 >got fired for masturbating during a conference call I didn't think they could see me :/

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