Anon is not a cool dude | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)17:15:00 No.892380236 ► >>892381377 >>892381620 >>89238 >>892384089 >>892384747 >>892385091 File: IMG_2235.jpg (247 KB, 720x400) >eat a bag of dorito hot chips >feel hot Doritos COOL ORIGINAL >eat a baf of dorito cool chips >still feel hot what other food has false advertising? >>892383243 28669 150ge Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)17:40:45 No.892381377 ► >>892381475 >>892382138 >>89238 dawn >>892380236 Semen, I've eaten loads of it but I'm still scared of going on a boat.

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon dates another 4chinner | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 14 KB PNG 01/10/23(Tue)13:58:22 No.892384810 >date goes horribly wrong and she cries >sends me a text two days later to send her a d--- pic females really?

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Anon gets fired | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 22 KB JPG 01/10/23(Tue)20:25:40 No.71773122 >got fired for masturbating during a conference call I didn't think they could see me :/

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Anon wants to be more than a sex toy | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)06:59:16 No.71769130 52 KB JPG >be me >kinda decent 7/10 guy, barely 6ft tall, full hair, alright face >have girthy magic c--- >want long term gf and real love >go out with girl >think we have a great time, really enjoy the conversation and her as a person >on second date we laugh a lot, get flirty and end up making out >she notices my huge bulge and goes for it >we have sex >like many before she can't believe how good it feels >keeps c------ on my c--- and is literally laughing from euphoria, saying things "do you even know how big you are" and "what are you doing to me what is happening" while I'm having completely normal vanilla sex with her >it's like a ridiculous meme, I'm completely stoic f------ her calmly while she is losing her mind and trembling uncontrollably >have sex like 4 times that night >meet again, sex again, exactly the same as last time she's still in disbelief, actually squirts for the first time and laughs about it and literally goes "wooooo" during sex >next day tells me she doesnt feel an emotional connection but we can stay friends for more of those evenings You think it's amazing to have a god c--- and it's fun in the moment of course but it's really lonely actually. For some reason, something in a woman's brain just switches after we had sex and she doesn't see me as a partner anymore but as a drug or sextoy. I've been the affair and fwb for girls so many times. One time a former fwb of mine actually hooked up with me while she was dating another guy really seriously and falling in love with him but she said she wanted to feel it one more time before settling down. Now I'm closing in on 30, i can meet girls and everything can go great but as soon as we have sex, they just lose their mind and I'm nothing but a c--- to them.

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Anon has anxiety | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 102 KB JPG 01/11/23 (Wed)03:03:21 No.892377402 >be me >go on date with qt girl >anxious and think about myself being awkward, causing myself to become more awkward and nervous >date ends >i want to die, i f----- it all up >i text her apologizing for being awkward >she texts me and tells me that i was chill and if anything she thought i wasn't interested in her >she wants a second date tfw why is anxiety like this 6 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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anon orders a BLT | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >decide to cash out some of my gains to spoil myself for a nice meal at Subway for the first time >"What sandwich do you want?" >Uhhh, I'll have a BLT (I had to google this on my Android Smartphone to figure out what this was [Bacon-Lettuce-Tomatoes]) >"Okay, but what bread do you want?" >I-I said I wanted a B.L.T sandwich! >"Yes but I'm going to need a bread" >Umm, organic? >"We don't have that here" 2.06 MB PNG 01/07/23(Sat)21:08:10 No.18783718 >she points at the board >want to say parmesan oregano but I don't know how to pronounce parmesan >say italian instead >"Do you want that toasted?" >Will that cost me extra? >"No" >say yes because free things are nice >"Okay, what vegetables do you want?" >H-Huh? It's a BLT, Bacon, Lettuce, Tomatoes, why are you asking me this? >"And cheese?" >S-Sure >"What kind?" >Yellow..? >"Sauce?" >The special one? >she wraps my sandwich up and I pay >don't tip her because she was really rude to me >it wasn't even that good anyway

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Anon owns the gym | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous THUG LIFE 41 KB JPG 07/13/21(Tue)23:54:35 No.858941903 STORY THREAD. >be me >walk into gym wearing tiny 80's shorts and fake mustache >see literal 9.5/10 girl running on treadmill with earphones in >walk up to her, motion for her to take her earphones out >tell her she's alright looking but not really my type >walk away and leave the gym >hang out in my car in the parking lot, flying my rc helicopter all over the place >girl walks out >do 30mph fly-bys inches above her head and chase her running and screaming to her car >drink the rest of my nesquik and head home

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Anon reduces his stress with one easy hack. Stop caring. | /r/Greentext

R ONSTE >realize one day that the world as i know it entirely begins and ends inside my own head >all of my insecurities and b------- literally just exist only in my head and nobody else cares/is even aware >everybody else is trapped inside their own head too 8 KB JPG >other peoples opinions of you exist just in their head >basically nobody cares and even if they do it doesn't matter >the world might be real, but everybody is trapped in their own heads >nothing is real except what you can see and touch, etc. no stress, no problems

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Anon has a little accident | /r/Greentext

E: Anonymous 07/13/22(Wed)00:29:10 No.881939621 55 KB JPG >be me, 18M, senior in high school >Go to school dance alone >One girl gets left alone and needs a ride home, I'll call her Jamie >I offer her a ride home >Ride back is great, we're laughing, having a great time >We're almost to her place and she asks what I'm doing this weekend >Just then a car makes a left turn in front of me and I T- Bone them, sending Jamie through the wind shield as she wasn't wearing her seatbelt >She doesn't make it out of the hospital alive >Spend the rest of the week mindlessly playing Zelda Minish Cap on my Gameboy.. every night I'd get a flashback to that moment and be stuck awake It's been 5 years, I haven't gotten that close to a female since, does it get better?

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Anon watches the discovery channel | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: vcOLYjqt) >be me >in the living room watching the discovery channel and eating alphabet soup >african tribes uncut n' s--- >all butt naked >really interesting culture >tribe leader's eldest son, baako is showing the cameraman their workouts 47 KB JPG 06/27/17 (Tue)16:04:06 No.1205120 >squats and whatnot >my 15 year old sister walks into the room >look over at her and she's biting her bottom lip >look back at the tv to baako's bbc swinging back and forth >look back at sister and her eyes are moving back and forth in the same pattern >oh no >look down at alphabet soup and sees the word, 'blacked' spelled out >nononono >looks back at baako and he's smiling at the camera and that's how i became a racist, folks Anonymous (ID: (edWzfAGG) = 99 KR 06/27/17(Tue)16:08:25 No.1205167 >>1205120 (OP) # I don't know why but my sides nearly exploded.

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Anon follows Jordan Peterson | /r/Greentext

WASH YOUR PENIS Wash Your Penis Anonymous 01/07/23(Sat)21:34:15 No.21495684>>21495709 >>21495902 >>21495979 >>21496002 >As a man, it is your responsibility to take care of yourself. This includes ensuring that your most intimate areas are clean and well-maintained. I know, I know you're thinking, "Jordan, I already shower regularly, what's the big deal about washing my genitalia?" JORDAN B. PETERSON >But let me tell you, the act of thoroughly cleansing your male anatomy is not just about personal hygiene. It's about self-respect, discipline, and, ultimately, success and personal fulfilment. >First and foremost, washing your genitals sends a message to yourself and to others that you value yourself and your health. A man who takes care of his body is a man who is confident, self- assured, and capable. This confidence will radiate outwards, attracting success and opportunity in all areas of your life. >But it's not just about impressing others. Proper genital hygiene can also improve your sexual health and relationships. No one wants to be intimate with a partner who is unclean or has an unpleasant smell. Showing respect for your partner's body by taking care of your own sends a powerful message and can lead to deeper intimacy and connection. And let's not forget the importance of discipline. Washing your genitalia may seem like a small and insignificant task, but it is a daily practice that requires discipline and commitment. This discipline will spill over into other areas of your life, helping you to become more organized,

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Anon had Liberal Arts | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Life Choices 07/06/22(Wed)02:32:40 No.69302861 >Be me >Graduated High School 2017 > Didnt know what I wanted to do so I went to Community College > Didnt know what I wanted to major in so I picked Liberal arts thinking it was a general education > Didnt realize it was Liberal Arts: Environmental studies 36 KB JPG >Had no idea what that meant > After 1 semester I didnt want my classes to go to waste so I swapped to Environmental Science >I thought It was easier to understand what it was about >I Watched rick and morty and thought I was smart and that major sounded smart >Recently graduated and got a job as a literal Environmental Scientist >I just ride around in ATVS collecting soil >Its okay

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Anon makes easy money by TOPPING males virtually | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 03/22/21(Mon)19:19:25 No.850243563 >be me >straight 198 KB JPG >not a lot of money due to covid >gay friend works as a payboy >tells me there are a lot of people looking for young male doms >say f--- it and decide to try it out >only through webcam because of the virus >actually don't care about the virus >just don't want to see naked men irl >somehow get clients >don't know what the f--- I do >just call them pieces of s--- and fot >make close to 5k every month >literally easiest job I ever had W-- /b/ros, why did nobody ever tell me making money could be this easy? 1 Reply View Thread

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