Anon is quick on his toes | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 24 KB JPG 03/16/21(Tue)11:58:35 No.849733154 >be me >a good boy >eating tendies >a wendys worker cutie girl delivers my dewy >mom tells me to thank her >this girl is waifu material >thank you m'lady >she starts yelling that she does not identify as a lady and that her pronouns are them/they >sorry, m'theydy >they gift me a box of tendies >life is good

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is blind and needs help from his little brother. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat)07:26:44 No.4901415 ► >>4901425 >>4901509 >>4901520 >>4902454 >>4907640 File: fregg.jpg (23 KB, 446x362) >tfw i used to read in sunlight when i was younger. now i have cataracts. >tfw have to dictate my posts to my little brother. Anonymous 05/17/14(Sat) 14:02:29 No.4902454 ► >>4902474 >>4902650 >>4902673 >>4904173 >>4906512 >> >>4901415 >>4901520 "Can you repeat that back to me please"? "Yeah, that's it. Now attach a picture of a sad frog" "...a-a sad frog"? "Just open the folder labeled 'frog and feels' " "W-wha... what is this? There are hundreds of them. What are these for"? "Nevermind that. Just look for the one called 'fregg', that looks like it had a seizure and attach it." "Yes, that's perfect, you can send it now"

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Anon exposes the automobile industry | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 01/10/23(Tue)04:08:38 No.33798306 >get in >door closes >*VROOOOOOOM* 2019-honda-civic-sedan-1558453497.jpg 21 KB JPG H >suddenly on a new place do you guys really believe in this

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anon is socialy awkward | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 70 KB JPG 01/09/23 (Mon) 20:16:37 No.892327169 >be me >20 years old >socially awkward >exchange semester in Germany >used to live alone so I always went naked to the bathroom >1st day abroad >afternoon, two roommates but no one's home >Germans have regular door for their kitchen but bathroom is across the living room, wonder why >shower.png >get out >no towel >panic.jpg >hear voices from the living room >they're back >panic^2 >sperglordbraininitiate.exe >decide to own up to it, it's a prank >walk out with a strut, hands on waist, semi flaccid penis flailing >two roommates and their two female anons stop talking and stare >ohshitohshitohshit >gotta say something funny >don't speak the language >awkwardly mumble "heil hitler" ironically >realize they don't know it's ironic

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femanon accepts her fate | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 243 KB JPG 01/09/23(Mon) 09:42:03 No.892305469 >no boy has kissed me >no boy has touched me >late 20s >in danger of becoming the local catlady I accept my fate

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anon talks to therapist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 23 KB JPG >Tell her about this place where people go to talk about how sad and miserable they are and how I relate >Says that it sounds like a very unhealthy place and asks me to go in depth >Literally talk for like 15 minutes straight about 4chan and r9k culture, anons, incels, the blackpill, avatarfagging, the many discord servers, etc >She didn't say much, just took some notes and told me I should do my best to reduce the time I spent here : Anonymous 01/09/23 (Mon)19:15:29 No.71756810 H-------- I regret this so much I would've never told her but I was legit dissociating I told my therapist about 4chan and r9k >She asks me if I socialize at all >I tell her no >She asks if I don't get lonely : Anonymous Quitting this garbage site's great advice. BAD ENDING You the truth >>71756995 # >>71757002 # 96 KB JPG 01/09/23 (Mon)19:33:27 No.71756965 01/09/23(Mon)19:36:45 No.71756995 Memes aside, this anon >>71756965 # is mostly right. 01/09/23(Mon)19:38:07 No.71757001 : Anonymous >>71756810 (OP) # Telling your therapist about your 4chan habits is a step to recuperate.

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Anon provides an answer to one of life’s existential questions | /r/Greentext

File: 1664173180918640.jpg (48 KB, 645x773) O Anonymous 01/09/23 (Mon)03:54:34 No.2522873 >>2522874 >>2522911 >>2522934 Whats the best approach to offer to buy cute hiker girls sweaty socks when you pass on trails without scaring them/looking creep >> O Anonymous 01/09/23 (Mon)04:04:56 No.2522874 >>2522875 >>2522873 (OP) >damn! no offense but your looking sweaty, feet must be So sore. >hey you know what, why don't you take a break and try on some of these socks I made, I just started a company selling them >eww haha no don't put those back in your pack, I'll get rid of them for you I've got a scent free bag

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Anon has a gf | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Gf wants me to be fat 89 KB JPG 01/09/23(Mon)21:11:01 No.71759993 >after years of being a khv i finally got a gf >shes awesome and we have been together for 4 years >i gained some weight about a year ago and decided to go on a diet and exercise >told her im eating healthy and starting to go to the gym >she suddenly starts baking cakes, pies and deep frying basically everything >finds different reasons for us to hang out and do stuff exactly when i want to go work out >keeps telling me to cancel my membership for no apparent reason >yesterday she made me a whopping fifteen pancakes for breakfast Im getting fatter and i dont know why shes doing this.HELP

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Anon wants to be a psychic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 KB JPG Anonymous >>15110727 (OP) Become a banker? Anonymous Anonymous Anonymous Get a job. 01/09/23(Mon)06:22:19 No.15110727 how do i summon money? 01/09/23(Mon)06:33:41 No.15110734 01/09/23 (Mon)06:35:11 No.15110735 01/09/23 (Mon)06:40:48 No.15110738 01/09/23 (Mon)06:53:57 No.15110748

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Dumbledore asked calmly | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/22/22(Thu)10:40:58 No.612915921 165 KB PNG >HARRY POTTER! >DID YOU TELL COLIN CREEVEY THAT SECTUMSEMPRA WAS A GENDER TRANSITION SPELL!? >YESTERDAY HE BLED OUT IN THE SECOND FLOOR GIRL'S BATHROOM AND BECAME A GHOST! >NOW MOANING MYRTLE IS CHASING HIM AROUND THE CASTLE CALLING HIM NEARLY HEADLESS D---! >THE MINISTRY IS SO FAR UP MY ASS THEY FOUND PETER PETTIGREW! >I hope you understand the gravity of this situation and why I am only awarding 50 points to Gryffindor. >>612916296 # >>612924709 # >>612924831 #

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[redtext] full of joyous whimsy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 195 KB JPG 2 Replies / 2 Images : Anonymous 45 KB JPG Anonymous No.71756199 Post your spirit animal. I am literally this little guy 62 KB JPG 01/09/23(Mon)12:00:46 View Thread 01/09/23 (Mon)12:01:48 No.71756204 im just silly 01/09/23 (Mon)13:32:26 No.71756956 I don't sleep at night and I might have autism

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anon explains why living in the US is so expensive | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: 5ygZiyRA 1.54 MB JPG 03/03/17(Fri)08:14:50 No.115073060 How can some Americans claim they are poor? I live for 300 USD a month here in Poland and I'm fine. You f--- have welfare and foodstamps and you still claim that you struggle to live there. What's the dillio? Stop spending so much on useless s---. : Anonymous (ID: DWZNrmBW 03/03/17 (Fri)08:17:14 No.115073270 >>115073060 (OP) # A decent burger is 15 dollars. There are 3 meals in a day, that's 45 dollars a day. That's 1,350 dollars a month just in burgers, not counting any other expenses. >>115073351 # >>115073451 # >>115073545 # >>115073573 # >>115073615 # >>115073654 # >>115073771 # >>115073853 # >>115074151 # >>115074283 # >>115074428 # >>115074524 # >>115074529 # >>115074560 # >>115074795 # >>115074948 # >>115075230 # >>115076181 # >>115076497 # >>115076525 # >>115076892 # >>115077014 # >>115077069 # >>115077650 # >>115078287 # >>115078638 # >>115079723 # >>115080291 # >>115080683 # >>115083647 # >>115083705 # >>115084147 # >>115084432 # >>115084463 # >>115084928 #

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Anon goes to Reddit. | /r/Greentext

55 KB JPG >Go to Reddit. >Post something controversial on a right-leaning sub. >"OP is a troll. Nobody can be that braindead." >"STFU dumbass just look at A, B and C." >Post something controversial on a left-leaning sub. >"Tee hee f------ kill yourself you waste of oxygen." >"Go rot in a ditch where no one will ever find you. We will not miss your XYZphobic ass. I'm better. <3"

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