Anon is from New Jersey | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 09/27/22(Tue)16:54:10 No.174774485 F3CD1D93-A058-4AAC-AA25-84B1550E8494.jpg 374 KB JPG >christofuh, some of janice's hippie friends are coming to town in this "mystery machine" and trying to bust our business, i need you to dress up as a monster and scare em out of jersey

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon can't touch grass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous What the f--- am I 'sposed to (...) 427 KB PNG 01/02/23(Mon)08:37:49 No.71656927 I have a small issue. >broke >have s----- online job >can't even afford a car >or any mode of transportation >my city has no sidewalks >impossible to get to places on foot >also no public transportation What the f--- am I supposed to do. I'm stuck inside these same four walls doing nothing all say. There's literally no way for me to go outside and touch grass. Help, please. pic unrelated 12 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Snape is not addicted to polyjuice anymore | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1 hour ago Snape.png (188.5 KB, 1024x556) 135391818 >Potter, a moment of your time, please. >Someone has been stealing ingredients that could be used to make polyjuice potions. >I know, I know. "It wasn't me professor, I would never transform into a girl and masturbate to find out how it feels", I've heard this little song and dance before. >When I was your age I was the same. Did I ever tell you I stole your mother's hair regularly? I became quite adept at stealth and potions for this precise reason. To transform into your mother and pleasure myself. There is this mirror... or there was, at any rate, I can't seem to find it anymore, that showed you your fondest wish. I would transform into your mother, look into that mirror and watch myself make love to her while your father watched, helpless to change anything >Those were the best orgasms of my life, Potter >One day things went wrong, however >Before I could find my way to a safe spot, your father found me, and thinking me Lily proceeded to fondle me >It felt good, Potter >Forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest >You know that polyjuice potion doesn't change your voice, of course. Yet James Potter never suspected a thing when I didn't speak. He smiled and said I was learning. >Oh I learned alright. I learned never to touch polyjuice potion again. Not because I feared such a thing would happen again, but because I feared I would want it to. That I'd seek it out. >Polyjuice potion and it's ingredients are restricted for a reason, Potter. The very recipe is not available to students. >Keep that in mind, won't you?

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Anon learns about the first step towards getting topped. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 39 KB JPG >>71651302 # : Anonymous >>71650407 (OP) # Wait, is this actually a thing? I usually just do the soap drop spread. 01/02/23 (Mon)02:50:49 No.71650407 I just learned that you're supposed to scrub your a------ when you take a shower >>71651263 # what the f---, why didn't any of you tell me this? anything else i should know about? 01/02/23 (Mon)02:52:25 No.71650428 : Anonymous >>71650407 (OP) # >he doesn't scrub his butthole >>71651888 # How do you have a--- sex with a dirty a------? 01/02/23 (Mon)02:53:27 No.71650442 : Anonymous : Anonymous >>71650442 # I'm a virgin and even if I wasn't, why would *my* butt be involved? 01/02/23(Mon) 03:54:05 No.71651263 : Anonymous >>71650407 (OP) # I wash my ass with my soap lathered hand. If my ass isn't clean enough to wipe with my hand then it aint clean. 01/02/23 (Mon)03:57:16 No.71651292 01/02/23(Mon) 03:58:06 No.71651302

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Anon becomes a dad | /r/Greentext

HOLY BIBLE Anonymous 07/24/22(Sun)22:48:13 No.882639864 [Reply] >>882641559 >be me >22 married >wife and i want baby >wife anon hates anything to do with her p---- >she jerks me off into a syringe >inseminates herself >now preggo >wont stop tittyfucking me and giving me handjobs >im submissive >does so much post orgasm torture on me >d--- is really sore and it hurts >dont tell wife >next time shes giving me h------ i say it hurts >she interprets this as usual sub begging >keeps milking me >been going on for 1 month now >what do guys

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Anon is mad | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 105 KB JPG s--- died 01/02/23(Mon)10:59:22 No.891870171 >be me, atheist >christian coworker dies >be sad >remember that christians want all atheists to be physically tortured for eternity >no longer sad >actually happy that evil piece of f--- god. if god was real I would have an average sized d---. Anonymous 01/02/23(Mon)11:00:19 No.891870200 I'm still here to torture you op don't worry.

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Anon learns the truth | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous deeplore thread Cult (0) CONNA FOREVE AIN'T GONNA... EVER FORGIVE!!! 01/01/23(Sun)23:17:07 No.52864662 >pokemon wasnt made by satoshi its a cover >foreign bailout money of japanese economy after 1990 crash where japan bought US bonds 396 KB PNG >pokemon was money laundering front to keep bank of japan alive, cash injections back to japan and plausible deniability for CIA generational mind control operation joked at in south park, international tax law of largest merchandising franchise in 20th century ensured kickbacks to CIA an extra arm of financing beyond 80s drug trafficking >hidden code in gen 2 games is enigma for lost financial documents in twin towers and psychological research papers about mobile gaming technology in pentagon, archived for preservation after 911 >masuda is a yakuza mob boss front and strongarms staff for private yakuza interest >pokemon movie merch sales cover for illegal transport of japanese fish to foreign southeast asia countries I wish I saved that image describing every legendary in an infographic and how they interact with humanity.

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Anon is manchild | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 29 KB JPG 01/01/23(Sun)22:51:50 No.71654711 >be 13 >laugh at my 38 year old manchild uncle >turned 29 last month >realize I am the manchild uncle

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Anon Sees a Marvel Movie | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 05/19/22(Thu)04:12:17 No.168240830 PUNY shutterstock_499695973.jpg 987 KB JPG >look >HEY look guys look >those idiots are walking out >pffft morons obviously haven't seen a marvel movie before >omg guys this is it >h-------- >wow is that Thor with his c--- in Dr. Strange's mouth >I can't wait to tell everyone on r/marvel >you guys do realize how much better we are than everyone else for waiting on the post credit scene right?! >pull all your d---- out guys let's j------- to it while we can

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Anon is confused | /r/Greentext

English civil war thread? 90 KB JPG >>14408712 # : Anonymous 01/01/23(Sun)23:45:47 No.14408520 Anonymous >>14408520 (OP) # Is it true Virginia set the stage for the sphere of influence in the US being Southward rather than in New England due to their performance in the English Civil War? 193 KB JPG no matter how much you know about it, here is your chance to discuss anything to do with this fascinating period 01/01/23(Sun)23:53:12 No.14408555 01/02/23(Mon)00:27:47 No.14408712 >>14408555 #

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Anon has standards | /r/Greentext

File: 307.jpg (34 KB, 680x591) Anonymous 01/01/23(Sun)22:29:40 No.71651316 [Reply] ► >>71651846 >be me >5/10 guy >interested in only women I find sexually attractive, so like 8/10 and above or some such >if that means no women at all, so be it, no hard feelings, don't mind having lots of me time to read books, participate in activities, etc. can hire escorts when urges present themselves >acquiantances keep trying match-make me with 2-3/10 fatties and similar undesirables >"I'm good, thx" we're gonna make it, no-settle anons Anonymous 01/01/23(Sun)23:22:21 No.71651846 ► >>71651316 (OP) this

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Anon stumbles across something dark while watching random security feeds | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/01/23(Sun)23:53:47 No.33740913 File: camera.jpg (28 KB, 400x403) >be me, early teens >hear about insecam >get totally fascinated by this concept >lurk through the website >for some reason i found it fun >watch random live feeds for days >usually boring >stumble across cctv cam from a bus stop somewhere in germany >a drunk couple comes by and sits on the stop >after some time they start making out >get really curious but also kind of nervous, as it feels wrong >suddenly they start arguing for some reason, idk what happened because no sound >the guy stands up and knocks gf the f--- out >holyfuck.jpg >he kicks her in the head when she's lying on the ground and walks away >the girl lays there motionless >immediately close the website >don't visit the site again >never knew what happened to the girl

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Anon posts a question on reddit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 137 KB JPG 01/01/23(Sun)19:11:13 No.71652291 >Be me, on reddit >Scrolling through s--- memes & cringe r/wholesome posts. >Come across post of some guy in a yellow suit dancing and being a fool. >Recognize guy from that one meme. Pic related. >Scene is clearly from some show normies watch. Idgaf.avi >About to move on but notice comment mentioning something Dark Souls related. Haha cool >Curiosity kicks in. >Post a comment asking who is the guy in yellow. >Never receive a response. >Comment gets downvoted. Why is reddit like this?

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