Tyrone's last straw. | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

>>85296714 >teleports behind you* >"unsheathes magazine" >nothing personnel, n----

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon has an incel Christmas | /r/Greentext

⠀ onymous st Christmas 97 KB JPG 12/25/22(Sun)12:40:15 No.891372813 >be me >23 >at Christmas party with my family >grandma asks my roastie cousin about her 15th bf in the last 2 weeks >turns over to me >ohfuck.jpeg >look over at her >asks if I finally got a gf >think about a good lie to explain why I've never had a gf at 23 >after staring for 4 seconds at her I shout >"I'm gay" >whole family looks at me >my dad starts crying and leaves the room >he mumbles "I always knew" >dad drives away and he hasn't been seen in hours This is the worst f------ Christmas ever.

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Anon says you have to eat all the eggs | /r/Greentext

File: 1344263299653.jpg-(118 KB, 750x561, 1342391823379.jpg) Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:28 No. 150024827 Q >walk in the streets at night >see this >> Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:46 No. 150026512 what do? A >Help her up and carry her disoriented body to my place. >Let her sleep on my bed as I sleep on the couch >Deal with her freak out when she wakes up. >Ask her if she's ok. >>150026512 Wizard detected school? Replies to this post: >>150024980 >>150025340 >>150025928 >>150025939 >>150026292 >>150026471 >>150026708 >>150027040 >>150027683 Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:30 No.150024980 I >"You don't have to tell me what happened, but you do have to eat this." as I hand her a bowl of eggs. >Ask if she needs a ride home. >Tell her to take care. >>150024827 Offer her my coat to cover up and a ride home Replies to this post: >>150025020 >>150025330 Replies to this post >>150028816 >>150026884 >>150026870 >150026676 >>150028897 >>150026716 >>150026726 >>150026729 >>150026742 >>150026793 >>150028796 >>150026808 >>150026970 >>150027098 >>150027215 >>150027757 >>150027901 >>150027909 >>150028005 >>150028017 >>150028114 >>150028136 >>150028154 >>150028268 >>150028272 >>150028273 >>150028568 >> Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:47 No. 150026676 >> Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:48 No. File: 1344264509932.jpg-(102 KB, 480 Why are you doing this..? Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)11:01 File: 1344265300847.png-(4 KB, 312x315, 1343878593548.png) >>150026512 >take her back to your place >think "You don't have to tell me what happened, but you do have to eat this" is al smooth line Jesus christ were you the creepy one at Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)11:05 No. 150028268 QUA File: 1344265558447.png-(45 KB, 882x896, EAT ALL THE EGGS.png) You HAVE >>150026512 THE COGS Replies to this post: >>150028315 >>150028382 >>150028528 HIGH LEVEL Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)11:00 >>150026512 >h-hi.. you a-wake? >wh- why are you screaming? >pls stop >h-here e-eggs >pl-please dont go >*door slams* >I love you too >>150026512 YOU HAVE TO EAT ALL THE EGGS Anonymous 08/06/12(Mon)10:47 No.1500266 File: 1344264432937.png-(265 KB, 334x393, 1 EMBARRASSING >>150026512 why are you [doing This...?)

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Anon counters womens | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 14 KB JPG 07/28/21 (Wed)13:52:30 No.64744920 >>64744771 (OP) # >womens spend money and time moisturizing themselves >dry up instantly when they see me Heh, nothing personell womens

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Anon has a fun time | /r/Greentext

@hert 73BCDC2C-F570-4468-A4DB-81578C19DE1C.jpg 61 KB JPG >eat edible >kicks in after an hour >walk up to random old lady in the street >'motorboat your expired milk jugs, I must' I say in yoda's voice >pass out on the jailcell floor for 11 hours Im 37

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Anon makes a DnD character | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/25/11(Sun)23:15 No.16426614 File 1317006946.jpg-(96 KB, 634x456, sir bearington.jpg) LY >Make a bear character in D&D 3.5 >DM laughs >Make bear a rogue, put every point I can into disguise >Prestige class as a spy to get more disguise >DM says I can't speak english >Max out bluff >By growling and gesturing, I can fake speaking a language I don't speak (english) >use money to hire a butler NPC >Give him magical item to let him speak bear "GROWWWWWL" "An excellent suggestion, Mister Bearington. We really should ask the group to investigate the Black Marsh >Over the course of the game, be knighted as Sir Bearington >Queen holds a dinner in my honor. >A guest becomes the first man to ever make a perception check that can beat my disguise >Shouts out loud "HEY, THAT GUY'S NOT A GUY, HE'S JUST A BEAR!" >Man is escorted out of the castle while the guards apologise profusely for the indignity "We're so sorry, Sir Bearington, very sorry for this man's behavior" "ROAR" *shrug*

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anon visits 4chan | /r/Greentext

⠀ onymous 94 KB GIF 12/27/22(Tue) 14:52:52 No.891477559 >be me 18 >heard about this place 4chan >decide to pay it a visit >first board i enter /b/ >one of the first threads is traps >"hmm, what's a trap, meh, i'll check it." >oblivious af >"hmm, wow she is a cutie" >scroll more >"wait, is that a d---?" >mfw they're actual men >mfw their dongs are way bigger than mine >mfw

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Anon works at McDonald’s. | /r/Greentext

M Anonymous No.601464164 34 minutes ago Ask a guy who works at McDonalds anything 1 reply 17 replies Anonymous No.601464417 32 minutes ago >>601464164 (OP) where do you work Anonymous No.601464445 32 minutes ago >>601464417 McDonalds

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Anon gets trolled | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/24/21 (Sat)11:15:29 No.64694127 File: 1626895392803.png (132 KB, 400x346) >be happy >next day >>64690732 (OP) >Be me >13 >she texts me back >call her beautiful, say she is the prettiest girl in the class, all that bs >Text a little more, indirectly but very obviously express my feelings >next day im school >she says I'm pretty >I had bad acne >never had gf >bullied in school >attracted to this one girl >text her >few days later >be in love >we talk in school >she says we are in a relationship >be very happy >She says she wants to break up >be sad >find out she trolled me, sent the bullies screenshots of our texts >bullies make fun of me >mfw the bullies used her to hurt me >mfw it f------ hurt

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Friendly reminder to be careful with fireworks, anons. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 107 KB PNG 12/31/20(Thu)23:22:04 No.843664733 >new years 2012 >at friends house f------ with fireworks >friend lets go of one too late >blows up hand >see a finger go flying >grab it >call ambulance for dumbass Was so worth it >put finger on string to make a necklace >give it to him as a gift on his birthday a couple weeks later >he just looks at me with pure hate >mfw i try to pick his nose with it and he starts trying to choke me

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anon's balls itch | /r/Greentext

onymous 7 KB JPG : Anonymous 71 KB JPG : Anonymous 12/27/22(Tue)02:09:17 No.69381734 51 KB JPG >balls itch >scratch balls >balls start to bleed from scratching 12/27/22(Tue)03:14:27 No.69382044 >balls itch >scratch balls >balls start to bleed from scratching : Anonymous >ass itches >scratch ass >ass starts to bleed from scratching 12/27/22(Tue)03:33:28 No.69382102 12/27/22(Tue)03:41:17 No.69382128 >itch balls >balls scratch >bleed starts to scratch from balls

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Anon uncovers a new fetish | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/27/22(Tue)12:16:42 No.891487705 >4am >drunk as f--- >getting a b------ in a dirty train station toilet from my gf at the time >she's on her knees 195 KB PNG >I'm standing up >need to piss halfway through >d--- switches streams >start pissing in her mouth by accident >she spits it out in disgust >holds my d--- in front of her face >she looks mad >really mad >but is still just holding it, letting the stream run down her face >opens her mouth slightly so some gets in there >I finish pissing >she yanks my shirt so I'm down on the ground with her >she starts kissing me with my piss all over her lips >we start f------ on the dirty bathroom floor >I last ages because I had to switch gears >c-- so f----- hard and that's when I found out I had a fetish for degrading women

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anon is saved by his tism | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 48 KB PNG 12/24/22(Sat)09:03:28 No.71526545 >>71526045 # >be me, 17 >working s----- labor job at a cross dock(s--- from container A needs to get loaded into container B) >working in a team with 2 dudes and a woman, let's call her H >H was chubby, a bit bitchy, decent talker >H also had a thing for guys with deep voices, such as me >one day the two other guys are on the offloading side and we're on the packing side >H and I and shooting the s--- and I'm not really thinking too much, just letting the work happen >H stops and says "come with me" >I follow >H tells our team lead "I've gotta pee, he does too" >don't hear the second bit >H walks off >my autism kicks into overdrive >team lead asks me "you going as well?" >no >ffw a few days later, we're at the main desk waiting for a work order to come in >H mentions she's into guys with deep voices >i make a comment about how this makes me uncomfortable >she says "don't kid yourself, i could have r---- you if i wanted to" >a few weeks later after H has been fired due to low work efficiency, it clicks together glad my first time wasn't sexual assault in the bathroom stall of a grimy warehouse by a 3/10, that's for certain

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