anon is in a open relationship | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: onymous stion of GEH >had a few girlfriends before >currently in an open relationship >we exclusively only swap with couples >the dude of one couple wants to double penetrate his girl with me >obviously our d---- gonna touch >girls like the thought of seeing/feeling that and his girl is so excited, she wants us to do some d--- fencing before, to decide who goes first gettyes Breathi 12/26/22(Mon)02:48:59 No.891389557 24 KB JPG now i do believe most people would classify d---- touching in any way to be gay (i do as well). but is it really gay if my whole life i've f----- only girls, kissed only girls - just some d---- touching to double team a slut - instantly makes me gay? where is the logic in that? (i'm only asking here, as i otherwise would be in an echo chamber)

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon spends time with the family | /r/Greentext

12/25/22(Sun)14:48:52 No.71548480 >"Hey, look who finally crawled outta his little hidey-hole! C'mon down and have some Christmas grub, Champ! Don't be a stranger. Tell us what you've been up to. Have those video game coins finally paid off for you, bud? No worry. They'll seem like pennies when we get you a job and you get that first paycheck. But we'll work on that next week. Merry Christmas, Champ. Dig in." >swats your hand away from the alcoholic beverages >"But not those, Champ. I need you focused on a finding a job first." >audible laughter onymous 432 KB PNG

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Anon is thinking | /r/Greentext

haha yea im fine La 25EFF340-CED0-4C53-A9F7-965A32DAADCF.jpg 81 KB JPG doğum ar ne 56.5 How much a man has to be attractive on a scale 1-10/10 to be approached by women? > be me > 19 > never got gf > just wondering I mean approached at least 10x times in clubs or on the street or in the school and only for a sexual content.

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Anon gets a job | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Job Greentexts 225 KB PNG 10/23/17(Mon)23:27:58 No.40623659 This happened last night. >Get job at McDonalds, need cash >Work in the back arranging the meals >qt 3.14 comes in with~8 yo daughter, asks for a chicken nugget Happy Meal >daughter is really polite to casier, says please and everything >throw in an extra nugget because of her kindness >few mins later, manager tells me to mop a spill >its right next to the mom and her daughter >evesdrop on them >"Mommy look, the people in the back gave me an extra nugget, why?" >mom replies, "Its because they're dumb enough to work here that they cant count" >mfw >mom and daughter laugh while I walk away Why are people so unappreciative? 13 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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Anons mother is a chad | /r/Greentext

950A350D-BD1A-4D16-9315-B4048A341923.jpg 192 KB JPG >be playing dark souls 3 during lockdown >have sweet, gentle and caring mother that would never hurt anybody >she asks me to take down the Christmas lights from in front of our house >finish in a few minutes and go back to playing DS3 >she walks in and says I've made a mistake >tells me that I took down the Christmas lights from the roof instead of the fence like she asked me to(i had misheard her) >looks at me dead in the eye and says >'Idiot. You're an idiot. You're a f------ idiot to begin with. Only coward losers use dex/int builds. >tells me to gitgud before leaving

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You're meant to go to sleep at the end of a good day instead of going on 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous When did you realize the inter(...) 198 KB PNG 08/10/21(Tue) 14:37:59 No.64917545 >be me, yesterday afternoon >spend my days off getting high alone in my apartment and browsing 4chins >Decide f--- it, I'll drop by my parents house and visit them >Dad is working on the car fixing the brake line >I help him out >we chat about the family drama and how everyone is doing >I say f--- it and drop by my grandparents house to say hello >Forgot it's my grandfather's bday and a bunch of my cousins are there >We decide to play cards and have a few beers >Chat about when we were kids and how much fun we used to have >Back to my apartment >Decide that my good day shouldn't end and text some people from work to see if they want to hang out at the local bar >2 of them show up at the bar >We have a good time, even made some new friends at the bar >Walk home feeling the happiest I've been in my adult life >Start browsing /r9k/ back at my apartment and feel an overwhelming sadness

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Anon doesn’t know what to do | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)00:34:06 No.64702696 >be me >get phone call from unknown number >ignores it >unknown caller leaves voicemail >voicemail says theres a gift at my door >checks front door thinking my friend is trolling me >opens the box at front door 302 KB JPG >has a plastic Jason mask with paint on it and a note that says "dont fail we are watching, kill them" >gets more voicemails telling me to go to certain addresses >doesn't go thinking its some re making a empty threat >gets brick thrown through my window with a note attached >note says "strike 1" should i do what they say?

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anon goes to a family christmas party | /r/Greentext

⠀ onymous st Christmas 97 KB JPG 12/25/22(Sun)19:40:15 No.891372813 >be me >23 >at Christmas party with my family >grandma asks my roastie cousin about her 15th bf in the last 2 weeks >turns over to me >ohfuck.jpeg >look over at her >asks if I finally got a gf >think about a good lie to explain why I've never had a qf at 23 >after staring for 4 seconds at her I shout >"I'm gay" >whole family looks at me >my dad starts crying and leaves the room >he mumbles "I always knew" >dad drives away and he hasn't been seen in hours This is the worst f------ Christmas ever.

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Anon has a queetion about statistics | /r/Greentext

T onymous 282 KB PNG 2 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous >>71548199 # Anonymous 12/25/22(Sun)20:20:49 No.71548159 30 KB JPG merry christmas, robots. ever wondered what the suicide rate in this board is? merry christmas not a gay goes by that I don't want to blow my brain out 12/25/22(Sun)20:22:14 No.71548172 View Thread 12/25/22(Sun)20:24:48 No.71548199 >>71548172 # >gay hahaha f-----

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Anon has a fart fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/18(Tue)21:55:51 No.43359586 Stupid things youn have done thread 2 Replies >consistently dutch-ovened myself for the past few years to prepare for eating ass >finally get a girl to sit on my face 46 KB JPG >she does not fart once Is this what all my Jedi training has paid off for? View Thread

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Christmas Mystery | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/25/22(Sun)04:14:40 No.71541360 >>71541605 >>71542712 Do I celebrate christmas at 12 or was I supposed to be celebrating all day? Anonymous 12/25/22(Sun)04:39:15 No.71541605 >>71541360 (OP) You can celebrate Christmas at any age. You don't have to be 12.

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anon touches his first boob | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/07/18(Fri) 22:26:16 No.779318356 >be me >walking in school hallway >pass by school thot who isn't wearing a bra >her t--- bounce making a clapping sound >realize that sound travels through air my touching the air then touching your ear >basically touched a boob See you later virgins 91 KB JPG

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Anon doesn't get invited | /r/Greentext

: onymous 10 KB PNG [Advertise on 4chan] 12/25/22(Sun)07:43:42 No.891365912 >haven't seen my family for Christmas in 12 years >my mom always goes down to Arizona to see them >this year I saved up enough money and requested a week off so I could go visit >I was super excited to go >told my cousin on Facebook I was coming this year but got left on read >my mom called the next day and told me I need to stay home because they have a lot going on >I was disappointed but understood >open up snapchat this morning to see my mom's story >my brother, sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents are all there >I'm the only one spending Christmas alone >my mom shortly after deleted the story and called me a dozen times >they don't have a lot going on at all >I just wasn't invited

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