Anons mother is a chad | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

950A350D-BD1A-4D16-9315-B4048A341923.jpg 192 KB JPG >be playing dark souls 3 during lockdown >have sweet, gentle and caring mother that would never hurt anybody >she asks me to take down the Christmas lights from in front of our house >finish in a few minutes and go back to playing DS3 >she walks in and says I've made a mistake >tells me that I took down the Christmas lights from the roof instead of the fence like she asked me to(i had misheard her) >looks at me dead in the eye and says >'Idiot. You're an idiot. You're a f------ idiot to begin with. Only coward losers use dex/int builds. >tells me to gitgud before leaving

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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You're meant to go to sleep at the end of a good day instead of going on 4chan | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous When did you realize the inter(...) 198 KB PNG 08/10/21(Tue) 14:37:59 No.64917545 >be me, yesterday afternoon >spend my days off getting high alone in my apartment and browsing 4chins >Decide f--- it, I'll drop by my parents house and visit them >Dad is working on the car fixing the brake line >I help him out >we chat about the family drama and how everyone is doing >I say f--- it and drop by my grandparents house to say hello >Forgot it's my grandfather's bday and a bunch of my cousins are there >We decide to play cards and have a few beers >Chat about when we were kids and how much fun we used to have >Back to my apartment >Decide that my good day shouldn't end and text some people from work to see if they want to hang out at the local bar >2 of them show up at the bar >We have a good time, even made some new friends at the bar >Walk home feeling the happiest I've been in my adult life >Start browsing /r9k/ back at my apartment and feel an overwhelming sadness

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Anon doesn’t know what to do | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 07/25/21(Sun)00:34:06 No.64702696 >be me >get phone call from unknown number >ignores it >unknown caller leaves voicemail >voicemail says theres a gift at my door >checks front door thinking my friend is trolling me >opens the box at front door 302 KB JPG >has a plastic Jason mask with paint on it and a note that says "dont fail we are watching, kill them" >gets more voicemails telling me to go to certain addresses >doesn't go thinking its some re making a empty threat >gets brick thrown through my window with a note attached >note says "strike 1" should i do what they say?

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anon goes to a family christmas party | /r/Greentext

⠀ onymous st Christmas 97 KB JPG 12/25/22(Sun)19:40:15 No.891372813 >be me >23 >at Christmas party with my family >grandma asks my roastie cousin about her 15th bf in the last 2 weeks >turns over to me >ohfuck.jpeg >look over at her >asks if I finally got a gf >think about a good lie to explain why I've never had a qf at 23 >after staring for 4 seconds at her I shout >"I'm gay" >whole family looks at me >my dad starts crying and leaves the room >he mumbles "I always knew" >dad drives away and he hasn't been seen in hours This is the worst f------ Christmas ever.

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Anon has a queetion about statistics | /r/Greentext

T onymous 282 KB PNG 2 Replies / 1 Image : Anonymous >>71548199 # Anonymous 12/25/22(Sun)20:20:49 No.71548159 30 KB JPG merry christmas, robots. ever wondered what the suicide rate in this board is? merry christmas not a gay goes by that I don't want to blow my brain out 12/25/22(Sun)20:22:14 No.71548172 View Thread 12/25/22(Sun)20:24:48 No.71548199 >>71548172 # >gay hahaha f-----

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Anon has a fart fetish | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 02/20/18(Tue)21:55:51 No.43359586 Stupid things youn have done thread 2 Replies >consistently dutch-ovened myself for the past few years to prepare for eating ass >finally get a girl to sit on my face 46 KB JPG >she does not fart once Is this what all my Jedi training has paid off for? View Thread

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Christmas Mystery | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 12/25/22(Sun)04:14:40 No.71541360 >>71541605 >>71542712 Do I celebrate christmas at 12 or was I supposed to be celebrating all day? Anonymous 12/25/22(Sun)04:39:15 No.71541605 >>71541360 (OP) You can celebrate Christmas at any age. You don't have to be 12.

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anon touches his first boob | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/07/18(Fri) 22:26:16 No.779318356 >be me >walking in school hallway >pass by school thot who isn't wearing a bra >her t--- bounce making a clapping sound >realize that sound travels through air my touching the air then touching your ear >basically touched a boob See you later virgins 91 KB JPG

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Anon doesn't get invited | /r/Greentext

: onymous 10 KB PNG [Advertise on 4chan] 12/25/22(Sun)07:43:42 No.891365912 >haven't seen my family for Christmas in 12 years >my mom always goes down to Arizona to see them >this year I saved up enough money and requested a week off so I could go visit >I was super excited to go >told my cousin on Facebook I was coming this year but got left on read >my mom called the next day and told me I need to stay home because they have a lot going on >I was disappointed but understood >open up snapchat this morning to see my mom's story >my brother, sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents are all there >I'm the only one spending Christmas alone >my mom shortly after deleted the story and called me a dozen times >they don't have a lot going on at all >I just wasn't invited

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Femcel is struggling | /r/Greentext

onymous he 98 KB JPG 12/24/22(Sat)19:52:17 No.71539065 >be chickn >talk to new e-boy who's 29 years old >He mentions he's got a body count of ten >he's still not married and still wants kids >I'm femcel and had only one sexual encounter in 2022 why are men such w-----? did he even try to marry the people he's been with? excluding the men because they can't get pregnant. I'm not like him though I tried to marry my ex bf and buy engagement rings at a thrift store but he's only nineteen

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Anon's roommate is a film major | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 67 KB JPG a)22:00:16 N8.71404193 >roommate is a messy m-----------, doesn't do dishes while other roommate and I do >he hosts party, dishes still out day after >ask if he can clean them up before my friend visits so the house is clean >"okay" >later, dishes are clean >thank roommate for cleaning up dishes >"you don't f------ need to thank me for washing the dishes anon, it's f------ demeaning" I never considered myself the autistic type, but what the f---. Is it related to him being a film major?

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Anon sees the future | /r/Greentext

File: 1363594793444.jpg-(38 KB, 526x522, 1358057341807.jpg) Anonymous 03/18/13(Mon)04:19 No.4640 >Be 16 >After a long time, and with the support of my friends, I decide to come out to my parents >Admit to them I'm a Genderdysmorphic-octononcis- bifemitalia-gender queer-pseudo Anonymous 03/18/13(Mon)04:20 No.4690 What the hell did I just read. antinonouncis-quasidecosexual >They didn't even know what it is but said they supported me because they were my parents >"We love you son" >"I'M NOT YOUR SON, I'M YOUR XON YOU F------ NAZI" >Run away from home, my s------- town doesn't even have a shelter for Genderdysmorphic-octononcis-bifemitalia-gender queer-pseudo antinonouncis-quasidecosexuals >whatisthisthemiddlefuckingages.gif >Have to spend the next 3 days in the city park because my parents refuse to let me be myself by addressing me as xe/xer and buying me ocular tampons to help me with my transition Anyone else have stories of the fascist society not accepting you? Please do share.

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Anon is not going to pass the class | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous LR 12/18/22(Sun)21:43:17 No.71456218 Connor, Read the syllabus. I do not round. Many students have found themselves in this situation but I cannot adjust grades. 384CD9A7-397A-4854-A17D-A4E5537B7E56.jpg 76 KB JPG >Need one more point on the final to pass the class >Email the prof and explain my situation to the foul beast >Get this as a response Why? Just why?

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