Thank you Allah | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 01/13/19(Sun)10:04:10 No.7512136 120 KB JPG >be me >on airplane >3 muslims are sitting in the back >two of them get up and start walking to the front >as one passes me, he says "soon we will all see allah." >he gets to the front of the plane and starts reciting the koran >he ended up converting 12 people to islam thank you allah

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon is socially awkward | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 77 KB JPG 10 Replies / 1 Image Anonymous 12/10/22(Sat)09:39:39 No.71335953 >dads socially awkward >i come out socially awkward >>71336377 # genetics determine everything bros, free will is an illusion. 12/10/22(Sat)10:13:47 No.71336267 Real confidence can be gained from acting from true goodwill and benevolence, but you have to give up all those dark, evil ulterior motives you have swimming around in your head. They're only there to hamper you anyway. Try behaving from genuine righteousness, giving up selfish desires to truly treat others the way you would want to be treated. View Thread

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unlimited charisma | /r/Greentext

File: kermit.jpg (49 KB, 348x288) Kermitmeme.com Anonymous 12/09/22(Fri)12:51:25 No.69206158 [Reply] ► >>69207121 >>69207208 >>be me >>sit in uni class waiting for professor to arrive >>sitting in corner of long table drinking from my gallon jug >>only one in class who lifts, feel like a chad >>stacy across from me says "why such a big bottle anon?" >>sperg out and reply "big bottle for a big boy" >>mfw no one laiughs >>mfw silence in the room >>After 5 seconds Stacy replies "oh, okay..." and other normies continue chatting about chad's party next weekend Should I just rope?

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Anon gets trolled | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 347 KB PNG 12/10/22(Sat)00:11:48 No.71331115 >Meet girl online >qt, christian, virgin, smart >Hit it off, talk constantly >Goes on for months >I develop legitimate feelings for her >I open up to her and tell her my deepest darkest secrets >We stay up to like 4 am voice messaging back and forth several times a week >It feels amazing to have someone who appreciates me and who I can be myself around and tell anything to >A week ago she tells me none of it was real. She was doing the exact same thing with several other people. She just wanted attention >Told me to never speak to her again I can't take much more, anons.

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Anon ruins thanksgiving | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 244 KB PNG 12/09/22(Fri)22:13:15 No.71334076 I ruined Thanksgiving >Have family over for meal at my place. >My sister and her husband brings his kids, brother-in-law's parents also tag along. >Everything going well at first. >One of their kids knocks over a jar of pickles. >Tell brother-in-law it's fine, just go get a replacement jar. >He gives me a stupid look. >I sucker punch him in the face. >He looks shocked, I do it again. >He stumbles backwards into a table and falls over. >kick him a few more times in the face just because I felt like it. >His dad tries to intervene. >Hit him with a haymaker, dude's like 80 so he was OUT. >Run inside my house, grab my .45 >Fire a single shot in in the air and yell >"this is my house where I make my own rules! if you don't like that then you can get the f--- out!" >Everyone suddenly leaves. >More than two weeks later, still nobody will return my calls. What the f--- is wrong with me? View Thread

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Anon wants answers about Syria | /r/Greentext

37 KB JPG > be hampster > zero survival skils except humping > f--- like crazy > not expected to do anything > somehow f------ survive in Syria for a few million years > super cute and fluffy SERIOUSLY HOW THE F--- DID THEY SURVIVE IN SYRIA OF ALL PLACES? WHAT THE F--- DID THEY EAT IN THE F------ DESERT? SYRIANS YOU HAVE GOT TO F------ EXPLAIN THIS TO ME? I'm so f------ jealous of hampsters

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Anon loses the house | /r/Greentext

File: Old f---.jpg (11 KB, 226x223) +4 >Mother begins to cry Is this own personal hell? Anonymous 03/11/18(Sun)19:09:27 No.43783117 [Reply] ► >Be me >1935 >Losing house >Captain goes down with his ship.avi >Hang self >Be stuck in mortal plane >Bound to property F--- >Be today >ghost fapping to milf and chad boyfriend >30 year old son runs in >Oh no.jpg >"Mommy my tummy tum empty, make me tendies" >Fat ass throws a bottle full of piss at her

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Anon dates a wendigoon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous baby killer 530 KB JPG >at the supermarket >see this absolute qt3.14 checking out 12/09/22 (Fri)23:46:24 No.890500173 >get a rush of energy, my balls really want to breed this woman >talk to her like the autismo i am >hey so i saw you and maybe i could.. idk get your #? >holyshit.jpeg >actually works >ffwd two years, going steady >she has made me a better person, ive started taking better care of myself and i no longer a retarded virgin cuck >having sex >close to nutting >"c-- inside me anon" >biggest orgasm of my life >she screams a name that isnt mine >what the f--- >i leave to go to the bathroom and look in the mirror >was this bitch cheating on me the entire time? >she knocks on the door >she has a confession >"anon.. i am not sexually attracted to you.. every time we have sex i imagine you are something else." >something else? >"i want a wendigo." >what the f--- >"i find it really hot that someone wants to literally eat my flesh and kill me." >mfw this bitch has a r--- kink >mfw this bitch has a wendigo fetish this was the worst thing that ever happened to me, what should i do? she isnt even attracted to me, and now she wants to keep the baby. im f-----. i wont talk to her and she is blowing up my phone

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I am the one who eats grass | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >are u a grass 03/09/22(Wed)05:35:51 No.4097292 ARE_U_A_GRASS.jpg 194 KB JPG

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Incest....cause they had too. | /r/Greentext

53 KB JPG >>178781346 # I always wanted Christopher Walken to do a spoken word bible. >now Lot and his daughters were in a cave >you gotta understand >they thought it was the end of the world >they thought they were the last people in earth >so they did what they had to do >Lot got drunk >and he f----- his daughters >he f----- babies into their wombs >little i----- babies >but they had to

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Anon likes oreos.. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 18 KB JPG 3 Replies / 1 Image 03/18/19(Mon)19:45:00 No.795302635 > be me > bad mood 'cause have to study > mom bought me oreos because she knows I like them thanks mom View Thread

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Femanon met an incel who kinda hates and loves her at the same time | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous B Dug ✔ 75 KB JPG 12/09/22(Fri)17:05:26 No.71322379 >Be insecure teen >Ugly shy femanon, no chance with irl guys >Meet an incel online >3 years older than me, also angry at the world >Unlike me, he directs his anger at everyone else instead of himself >Somehow get along >He kind of hates me kind of loves me because he thought I was too dumb for him but also the only woman intelligent enough to be able to converse with him >Eventually blocks me and tells me to kill myself >6 month forward >He comes back to apologize >Play hard to get even though I want him >Blocks me again This f----- has messed with my perception of love forever. I need my partner to hate me and view me as inferior to be engaged, but I also want him to be nice and gentle when I need it I can't find anyone besides him like that because it's just a f------ contradiction so I come crawling back to him again and again. I don't know how many accounts have I made already Please come back matt, a------

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Anon takes a shit | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 239 KB PNG 02/14/21(Sun)15:36:46 No.847384614 >I just had a great s---. >Didn't have a terrible urge to go, no need to fight it while making my way to the bathroom, nothing. >Just walked there, sat down and s--- was done. 3 Replies >No struggle, no horrid smell, no dhiarrea, no splashing. >Cleaning up was great too, no blood, no pain, just smooth and easy. This genuinely made my day better. View Thread

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