Anon had it all | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous Women moment 100 KB JPG 12/01/22(Thu)19:28:02 No.71219200 >Be me >In high school >Knew a girl who was easily 6'1 but built like an anime girl with humongous t------ and ass, redhead, 6.5/10 in the face and a bit of chub too but it kinda accentuated her curves imo >One day in gym class some retard throws his top shirt on the ground hyped up as s--- (we were playing soccer) >I trip over it and land face first in girls ass and grab it by accident with my right hand >She looks shocked but doesnt say anything bad >My dumbass gf at the time saw it and broke up with me over it (w--) >some guys joked around about it but it mostly died down thank god none of the teachers saw >After said incident i apologized profusely and she didnt mind much, she started talking to me more >turns out she had a thing for me after that and we f----- like animals over the next few months FML >Best sex i ever had, it was so much woman to grab and i could even ride her doggystyle without touching the bed, just ride her ass literally while pulling her hair back >Then she breaks up with me because my ex gf wanted me back and she just f------ assumed i cheated on her >mfw got locked out of the best sex i could ever get >mfw i basically groped a girl and she f----- me for it >mfw every woman ive had sex with after is short and could never rival sex with tall bust redhead babe

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon is smart | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 56 KB JPG 12/01/22(Thu)06:36:12 No.90055119 >sudden pain in chest >immediately clear browser history and close all tabs just in case I'm having a heart attack I can't be the only one

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Anon goes to war with the Chinese. | /r/Greentext

Board /pol/ - Politically Incorrect 442 KB JPG Settings Mobile Home Chinese buffets are owned by the CCP and serve as a front for prostitution, sex slavery and VISA factories for Chinese infiltrators. We can take em down with our stomachs, we CAN fight back. > Do not eat the rice, fruit, noodles, or pudding. These are fillers. Avoid fried breading. > Go straight for piles of the most expensive protein they have. (Usually Shrimp?) > They will ALWAYS approach your table when you get your 2nd plate, offering water and asking if everything is okay. This is because they want you to leave. Two plates is their profit point. > Do not drink the water they bring you, but keep asking for more, and get lemon (this is free but costs them) > Do not drink the Tea, this is filler. > Pay the bill before your last plate, and do not tip. (Put cash on the table to keep them calm but pick it up when you leave) Dispute the charge when you get home. > Wait at your table a very long time before getting your last plate. Talk on the phone, make a vlog, paint an oil painting of Xi, whatever. > On your last plate, dump the whole thing all over the counter and into the most expensive food they have. > Knock your drink / onions sauce onto the ground by accident and play it off as clumsy. While they are cleaning the mess, keep stepping over them and getting in and out of your chair to get small plates a little at a time. > Make sure to make a massive mess, say really loud "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Make a big scene, and then walk out. > Take handfuls of fortune cookies when you leave, drop them on the ground and crush them as you leave. > Snag handfuls of chopsticks, napkins, and sauce packets too. > After you leave, contact the city health inspector and notify them you saw baby cockroaches crawling all over the buffet and the kitchen staff were not wearing gloves. > Go to yelp/google, give horrific but believable reviews. Make sure to explain how rude the manager and waitress were, how bad the food was; old, cold, soggy, bitter taste like mold in the rice.

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Anon has some red flags | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Male Red Flags 11 571 KB PNG 12/01/22(Thu)21:17:20 No.71220391 6 Replies >paid for sex >been to a strip club voluntarily >been to a hooters or equivalent voluntarily >any sexual contact with a sex worker even if he didn't pay anything >obsessed about circumcision for no useful reason >has a large p--- collection that isn't all Pov View Thread 12/01/22(Thu)21:21:06 No.71220426 : Anonymous >>71220391 (OP) # >paid for sex guys who need to pay for sex don't care about having "red flags" >been to a strip club voluntarily how could you be insecure about someone going to a strip club? >been to a hooters or equivalent voluntarily hooters is delicious >any sexual contact with a sex worker even if he didn't pay anything see #1 >obsessed about circumcision for no useful reason circumcision without consent is genital mutilation, not sure what you consider "obsessed" but being upset about it is normal >has a large p--- collection that isn't all Pov more insecurity

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Anon learns about the "Indian shimmy". | /r/Greentext

File: rio.webm (1.03 MB, 1280x720) >s--- your pants in live tv i would literally kill myself >> Anonymous (ID: 2tMZUg1g) lol which country is the guy from? >>85916842 Most likely India Anonymous (ID: pj3lrZ11) 08/20/16(Sat)02:13:17 No.85916570 >>85916995 >>85917059 >>85917160 >>85917409 >>85917695 >>85917749 >>85918009 >>85918085 >>85918115 >>85918503 >>85918749 >>85918931 >>85919073 >>85919106 >>85919137 >>85919222 >>85919363 >>85919625 >>85919918 >>85920766 >>85920895 >>85920989 >>85921049 >>85921228 >>85921282 >>85922161 imagine now >years of hardwork, trying to be best. >you gonna represent your country >finally in Rio 08/20/16(Sat)02:16:37 No.85916842 ► >>85916884 >>85916993 Anonymous (ID: H/vsY/1x) 08/20/16(Sat)02:17:03 No.85916884 ► >>85916966 >>85917212 >>85917274 >>85918071 >>85920158 >>85917059 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runner%27s_diarrhea Anonymous (ID: 4pbr+7Fs) 08/20/16(Sat)02:26:31 No.85917690 >>85917786 >>85917791 >>85917820 >>85917889 >>85917942 >>85917990 >>85918012 >>85918099 >>85918140 >>85918211 >>85918239 >>85918370 >>85918449 >>85918466 >>85918647 >>85918926 >>85919096 >>85920206 >>85920377 >>85920442 >>85920581 >>85920968 >>85921692 >>85921713 >>85922015 >>85922270 >>85922328 >>85922369 >>85922543 >>85922573 >>85922868 >>85922939 >>85923246 >>85923282 Anonymous (ID: gAaGEkkX) 08/20/16(Sat)02:27:33 No.85917786 ► >>85917690 "the Indian shimmy" Anonymous (ID: AAcOnRib) 08/20/16(Sat)02:29:50 No.85918012 ► File: 1387411971556.jpg (46 KB, 348x425) >>85917690 >"the indian shimmy" I didn't know wikipedia had this mad of bants. Anonymous (ID: tbyWHPKK) 08/20/16(Sat)02:34:34 No.85918466 ► File: lol cheetah.jpg (61 KB, 450x450) >>85917690 >>85917889 which one of you did this? Anonymous (ID: 00xLkUlo) 08/20/16(Sat)02:58:35 No.85920581 File: 1470257263448.jpg (114 KB, 640x640) >>85917690 >https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Runn er%27s_diarrhea >Indian shimmy wikipedia is savage Inte Runner's diarrhea From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Runner's diarrhea, often termed "runner's trots"[¹] or "the Indian shimmy",[2] Anonymous (ID: K/CDQkfP) 08/20/16(Sat)02:27:52 No.85917820 >>85918036 File: 1466511892791.jpg (13 KB, 320x320) Anonymous (ID: choNPio0) 08/20/16(Sat)02:30:05 No.85918036 ► File: 6f6[1].png (65 KB, 853x665) >>85917820 >the Indian shimmy Indian shimmy >>85917690 >Runner's diarrhea, often termed "runner's trots"[1] or "the Indian shimmy", [2] >or "the Indian shimmy", [2] "the Indian shimmy" >>85917690 >Indian Shimmy No F------ Way Anoonimoose **** (ID: b11VZROW) 08/20/16(Sat)03:35:49 No.85923692 >>85923894 >>85917690 >Designated S------- Syndrome AAAAAAA WHICH ONE OF YOU BASTARDS DID THIS Anonymous (ID: ecuKR+Q7) 08/20/16(Sat)02:54:22 No.85920206 ► File: 7132492079_235482c232_z[1].jpg (200 KB, 427x640) Runner's diarrhea From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Runner's diarrhea, often termed "runner's trots"[1], "the Indian shimmy", [2], or "Designated S------- Syndrome", Well, that settles it. Pajeet's preferred sport is jogging, during which diarrhea dribbles down his legs and onto the street. Anonymous (ID: tVCJGgDz) 08/20/16(Sat)02:29:36 No.85917990 ► File: mHM3DMk.gif (1.99 MB, 332x215) >>85917690 >the Indian shimmy Pajeet's preferred sport is jogging onto the street Þindian shimmy Anonymous (ID: uuGodb4h) 08/20/16(Sat)02:32:12 No.85918239► >>85921870 File: 1457012592406.jpg (27 KB, 500x328) Designated S------- Syndrome >>85917690 >designated s------- syndrome I love you guys >>85917690 >indian shimmy This s--- writes itself. Anonymous (ID: X4Tizl6m) 08/20/16(Sat)03:36:15 No.85923734 >>85923894 >>85917690 >some one added Designated S------- Syndrome KEK Anonymous (ID: (UXUPSg1M) 08/20/16(Sat)03:37:58 No.85923860 ► File: 780.jpg (105 KB, 1168x1077) SUZZ Anonymous (ID: 7ZXczric) 08/20/16(Sat)03:26:50 No.85922939 ► >>85917690 add me in the screencap

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The future is now | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 5 KB PNG 08/18/21 (Wed)04:02:15 No.65029708 >jacking off to vr p--- to get more immersed >"omg your d--- is huge" >illusion ruined

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Femanon is schizophrenic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11/27/22(Sun)00:32:32 No.134258498 5huuuvy8sb2a1.jpg 31 KB JPG >BUT, BUT, BU.. IT WAS RIGHT HERE!

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Anon didnt take his pills | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 67 KB JPG 01/27/22(Thu)23:13:12 No.871519777 Its a cool summer night. Wind brushes over my face as I stand on the hill overlooking Burnsville. Fumes and smoke cover most of the skyline, nevertheless its a beautiful sight to see. As I pull out my c-------- case I hear steps from behind. "Must be Pepe" I think. I turn around and see the silhouette of an old friend. Without saying a word I lit my f-- and hold the case out to him. Pepe doesn't seem interested. Instead he just glances over the horizon, captivated by the skyline. "It really is mesmerizing" I moon, taking a deep drag. Pepe and I grew up in this city. This city of... of Hopes and Dreams. Of which most were probably shattered. Not soothed by it I flick away the lit c--------. The skyline is decorated by billbords, glaring lights and the odd skyscraper. Even here on the hill one can still hear the unsettling noise of the city. I eyeball Pepe, judging by his glazed look he also reminisces about old times. It's been a while since we last saw each other. He changed - not much but enough that I notice the rings under his eyes and the new suit. "Looking good" I say, directing my view back to the city. Pepe seems to awake from his journey to the past. "You too, my friend, you too".

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Anon managed to function as a member of society | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 76 KB JPG 12/01/22(Thu)18:43:44 No.71210770 >autistic >schizoid >bpd >ptsd I manage to function as a person in society and haven't killed myself yet somehow but damn I really wish I was normal. Does anyone else feel envy for normies and just non damaged and mentally healthy people in general?

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Anon is a gigachad. | /r/Greentext

File: e82.jpg (34 KB, 600x549) Anonymous 11/30/22(Wed)22:51:48 No.71208106 [Reply] >Autist working out >Take a pic of my traps flexing for tinder >Get 20 matches

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anon gets on Mossad's hitlist | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous (ID: /6C9GFGU) 78 KB JPG sanctions!! 12/01/22(Thu)10:47:38 No.406652554 >Netanyahu in 1991: Nooo we can't let Iran enrich uranium they're making a bomb! They'll have one by 1995! More sanctions!! >Netanyahu in 1995: Nooo we can't let Iran enrich uranium they're making a bomb! They'll have one by 1999! More >Netanyahu in 1999: Nooo we can't let Iran enrich uranium they're making a bomb! They'll have one by 2003! More sanctions!! >Netanyahu in 2003: Nooo we can't let Iran enrich uranium they're making a bomb! They'll have one by 2007! More sanctions!! >Netanyahu in 2007: Nooo we can't let Iran enrich uranium they're making a bomb! They'll have one by 2011! More sanctions!! >Netanyahu in 2011: Nooo we can't let Iran enrich uranium they're making a bomb! They'll have one by 2015! More sanctions!! >Netanyahu in 2015: Nooo we can't let Iran enrich uranium they're making a bomb! They'll have one by 2019! More sanctions!! >Netanyahu in 2019: Nooo we can't let Iran enrich uranium they're making a bomb! They'll have one by 2023! More sanctions!! Guys, I know this sounds crazy but maybe, just maybe, Israel isn't worried about Iran getting nukes. MAYBE they just wanna cripple the economy of their biggest regional rival? Nah no f------ way

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Anon is harassed | /r/Greentext

File: McDonalds-Fish-Sandwich-F(...).jpg (51 KB, 846x429) Anonymous 11/15/22(Tue)16:29:25 No.889148211 [Reply] I went to McDonald's today and got a Filet-O-Fish combo with a bacon cheeseburger on the side. I was eating it in my vehicle in the parking lot and listening to an audiobook when I glanced up and saw the McDonald's worker I ordered outside having a c--------. She waved at me and I nodded and had to wait 7 minutes before she went back inside and I could eat in comfort again. I don't think that employees should be bothering or even trying to socialize with customers outside of the McDonald's restaurant or drive through, but that is another story. I went to McDonald's for dinner tonight and got a McChicken combo with a bacon cheeseburger on the side. As I was driving to the second window the same girl was still working. She was acting somewhat obsequious and attempting small talk when she asked, 'why don't you come eat inside instead of in the parking lot where it is cold'. That really bothered me for many reasons. First of all, I don't want my routine or actions to be tracked by a fast food employee. Secondly, she should not try to tell me how I should live my life. I do not want to eat inside because I find it less comfortable and would much rather be inside my vehicle listening to an audiobook and enjoying myself and my privacy. Overall, I think it was very unprofessional to bring this up. I should have a clean slate with each drive through visit, not have to get the third degree because I committed some sort of faux pas. Which I don't think I did, because I often see people eating in fast food parking lots. How does she know I am not busy going to work or somewhere in a rush?

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Anon goes to military summer camp | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Gi 10 KB JPG 01/30/21(Sat)02:14:16 No.62089777 >Be me >Live in the original tortilla land >Go to military summer camp a few years ago >Going really nice, like it >One day a tard gets assigned to our company >We now have to carry this dead weight with us Ffw a few days >Go visit a nearby military base >Walk 3 km to the bus stop >Tard asks if he can go to the bathroom > Officer says no >1'5 hours in the bus >Doesn't go to the bus' bathroom for some reason >We get to the base >We form up at the hangar/hall >200 kids and many military personnel >the tard starts pissing himself >everybody looking and laughing, even the soldiers were laughing >the sergeant just looks away with dissapointment >goes back to the base with the same pant >Mfw we were the piss company for the rest of the camp

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