Anon realizes depression is cringe | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 9 KB JPG 05/06/21(Thu)20:52:32 No.853820308 >be me ?>have deppression 1 Reply >go to hospital for suicidal thoughts >got meds that never worked >realize deppression is cringe >litteraly just decide to not have it anymore >mfw it f------ worked View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon has a question | /r/Greentext

Why is nature like this? 136 KB JPG 11/16/22(Wed)09:49:16 No.2496927 >be wild animals >chillin >a bear walks by >a tiger walks by >a volcano is erupting >demon walks by >an intergalactic terror opens a portal and walks by >all np chilling >a human walks in >??? >REEEEEEEEEE >scurry away at the speed of light Why are they like this? Is bipedalism that scary? Did we spend that last 2.5 million years of blank history terrorizing the forest?

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Anon enjoys cake | /r/Greentext

T File: png-clipart-pepe-the-frog(...).png (17 KB, 900x777) Anonymous 11/27/22(Sun)19:09:38 No.889819402 [Reply] >be me a week ago >omw home from work out, walking through the mall >see huge big table (approximately 5x2 meters) >inspect element >sign says free cake november 25th >lolwtf.jpg >have nothing better to do >wake up on november 25th >take bus to mall, grab two pieces of cake >lifes good >> Anonymous 11/27/22(Sun)19:11:23 No.889819496 >inspect element I hate you OP. >>889819977

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Anon is suddenly feeling very suicidal | /r/Greentext

File: Tranquility_Island.jpg (256 KB, 1351x1723) SECRET ISLAND Anonymous (ID: KWfPPitk 11/27/22(Sun)10:23:50 No.406143775 >>406144153 >>406144429 >>406144617 >>406144652 >>406144675 >>406144871 >>406145280 >>406145723 >>406145779 >>406146027 >>406146203 >>406146374 >>406146566 >>406146572 >>406146966 >>406146975 >>406146997 >>406147121 >>406147176 >>406147634 >>406148082 >>406148676 >>406148741 >>406148972 >>406149116 >>406149130 >>406150110 >>406151117 >>406152921 >>406153263 >>406153428 >>406153957 >>406154921 OK, so last year I was watching some jet trainers off the coast and noticed they were circling a small island I never knew existed... it was shocking because I know this place really well. I had to zoom all the way in to see it. I am on the water all the time, but nowhere near that far out. I have charts though, and this isn't on them. It's likely on older ones I imagine (until this island was sold) but clearly not on current ones. I don't know how this is legal. Commercial shipping must have it on theirs. I took some screenshots last year... it's a named island with a defined coastline, not some sand bar. The name screams billionaire to me. >tranquility island This isn't on Google Maps, Google Earth, Bing Maps, or even my atlas from 2012. I have literally only seen it on ADS-B, but now it's gone from there too. Looks like somebody forgot to remove it from the satellite info before selling it to them and it has since been corrected. Who owns this island, what is it used for, and why is its privacy so important? BTW, it's big enough for a small landing strip and obviously helicopters and surface vessels could get to it as well. I emailed inquiries to geography and geology departments at 3 local universities and have gotten no responses so figure I'll just ask /pol/ for help. Any satellite/aerial photos out there, Bros? Hell, even just a chart... I want to see what it looks like. Bear in mind this is below major flightpaths and within reach of Washington, New York, Bahamas, and Bermuda for many small aircraft. Did we find Epstein or what?

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Anon does charity | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 578 KB JPG 11/27/22(Sun)21:15:14 No.889825674 >neighbor tells me about volunteering in Mexico >never been outside usa and canada but decide to go help the poor browns for a week >get to Mexico, actually not as bad as I thought >charity organization puts us in some airbnb house >four days in, start noticing a couple of pimples on my arm >come back home at the end of the week feeling great to have experienced a new culture and helped people >two weeks later, pimples have turned into lesions all over my arms >doctor tells me it's a viral infection >"avoid all physical contact with others anon, whoever touches this can easily get it" F--- this s--- I got some s--- third world virus from that airbnb. Have been getting painful treatment once a week for 2 months. Have not slept with my own wife for 2 months. Lesson learned. F--- mexico. F--- helping others. Never doing this s--- again.

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Anon trolls those normies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Rate my kms plan >learn few basic magic tricks and other things a clown should know >get a joker costume >advertise myself as a clown for hire >go to some kids birthday party >after performing some tricks pull out a gun and blow my brains out in front of everyone 38 KB JPG Anonymous 11/27/22(Sun)18:22:20 No.71160261 55 KB JPG 11/27/22(Sun)18:25:39 No.71160324 >>71160261 (OP) # Incredibly based and redpilled

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Anon sees a pattern | /r/Greentext

: Burgerboy (ID: ATFW38 Te 11/27/22(Sun)17:33:42 No.406178771 >>406178385 # I predict some sort of happening on December 8th, keeping in line with the pattern that's been going on since they turned on CERN >July 8: Shinzo Abe assassinated >August 8: Mar a Lago raid >September 8: Elizabeth II dies >October 8: Crimea Bridge explosion >November 8: US Midterm elections, Evelyn de Rothschild goes back to Hell Screencap this. Or don't, I don't care

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Anon meet his favorite heroes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/02/15(Sun)14:13:20 No.59484314 >>59484351 >>59484376 >>59484493 >>59484588 >>59484933 >>59485128 >>59485712 >>59485924 >>59486195 >>59486254 >>59486967 >>59487526 >>59489001 >be 8 >terminal brain cancer >make a wish ask me what my dream is >I want to meet my favourite ghostbuster >big day comes >can't wait to meet Bill Murray >"We managed to get all four of them to come anon, isn't that great?" >4? But Harold Ramis is dead. >The door opens and I hear shrill laughter and mumbled ebonics >Four women shamble in to the room wearing cheap cosplay outfits. >The largest, a barely human looking sheboon swaggers over to me looking like she thinks she's made my day >"Who ya gun call lil guy?" >The rest of them roar with laughter >I hear a voice screaming "Ay gurls, lemme holla at ya" >A strange n---- runs in to my room and starts whooping. >The 4 women begin to whoop along with him and chant "PHOTO OP, PHOTO OP" >A camera flashes as I drift in to the abyss

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Anon is watching Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/25/21 (Sat)15:48:02 No.156783721 >The applause faded as Dumbledore raised his hand to speak >"Thank you, students, for that most heartwarming welcome back to Hogwarts. I daresay Professor McGonagall more than rose to the occasion in my absence." >"As you all know, I spent the last few months attending a leadership workshop at Uagando, the African academy of pagan voodoo magic. There I learned a great deal about all sorts of exotic sorcery, such as the ability to transfigure oneself into a goat to escape punishment for crimes." 12 KB JPG >"However, what I found most fascinating was their tradition of sorting students not by arbitrary houses, but by nation of origin. Which is why I'm pleased to announce that Hogwarts will now be doing the same, as I'm sure you've already noticed." >He gestured to the flags of England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland hung above the four tables. >"But there will be time to discuss this later. For now, let us begin tonight's feast!" >With a wave of his hand, Dumbledore summoned the food to the tables. Plates of scrumptuous pies and vegetables glazed just right, savory cuts of turkey swimming in gravy, delectable treacle tarts and trays of warm fudge, and tankards of butterbeer all appeared before the eyes of the students... >Except for the Irish. >At the Irish table appeared only potatoes. Heaps and heaps of brown, raw potatoes. >Dumbledore smiled at the dumbstruck Irish students. "What's the matter, children? Something wrong with your dinner?" >Nervously, Seamus Finnegan picked up a fork and prepared to poke one of the potatoes. >"WEAPON!" Dumbledore cried, "THAT MICK HAS A WEAPON! WATCH OUT!" He brandished his wand at Seamus, whose hand exploded in a spray of red mist. >"IS THIS HOW YOU LEPRECHAUNS REPAY MY HOSPITALITY? MISTER FILCH, ESCORT IRELAND TO THE GAS CHAMBER OF SECRETS AT ONCE! ENGLISH STUDENTS, YOU MAY TAKE THEIR COMMON ROOM!"

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/v/ imagines a Silent Hill 2 set in India | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)15:13:29 No.619272868 >>619274336 >>619274613 >>619274660 >>619277757 >>619277763 >>619278623 >>619279137 >>619279713 >>619280084 >>619280953 >>619282640 >>619287619 >>619291457 >MARY? YOU BLOODY BASTARD BITCH F---, ARE YOU HERE IN THE SILENT HILLS? << Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)15:39:15 No.619274336 ► >>619274613 >>619276843 >>619277386 >>619277392 >>619279137 >>619286683 >>619288396 >>619272868 (OP) >DO NOT READ THE LETTER YOU BITCH LISTEN TO ME Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)15:43:46 No.619274559 ► >>619274613 >>619277386 >>619279137 >>619288396 >There was a loo here. It's gone now... Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)15:44:40 No.619274613 ► File: 1666676612401049.jpg (349 KB, 705x676) Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)15:45:30 No.619274660 ► >>619272868 (OP) kek Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)15:57:55 No.619275279 ► >>619279137 File: mqdefault(2).jpg (4 KB, 320x180) >>619272868 (OP) >>619274336 >>619274559 Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:04:11 No.619277942 ► >>619278357 >>619279137 >"For me, it's always like this" >The sacred holy river becomes increasingly more polluted and full of feces >> Anonymous 11/26/22 (Sat)17:14:24 No.619278357► >>619278613 >>619279137 File: toilet.jpg (23 KB, 614x632) >> MA'AM ARE YOU A PROSTITUTE? C 1 >>619277942 >"They look like monsters to you?" Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:15:48 No.619278409 ► >>619279137 Have you seen a little girl? Short, brown hair and skin. Works in IT as a call center operator. Does that narrow it down? >WHY DID YOU REDEEM? >ARE YOU MAD? YOU BLOODY BITCH BASTARD! >ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)16:35:56 No.6192 File: never ever.jpg (47 KB, 327x316) >> Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:21:28 No.619278623 >>619279137 >>619279328 >>619272868 (OP) >our "special place"... what could she mean? this whole village was our special place. does she mean the designated s------- place near the train tracks? Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:00:58 No.619277791 ► >>619279137 File: 1667369029558716.png (977 KB, 1000x1260) >>619291227 File: delhi.png (1.31 MB, 1280x960) SURF YOU SEE THIS IMAGE VOU HAVE BEEN VISITED BY PRESTIGEN MUR FaceApp ZOZ >the fog is just air pollution ALL your arts will be REDCENED ndy if you DO THE NEEDFUL and reply FOOD MICHWA Anonymous 11/26/22 (Sat)17:00:16 No.619277763 ► >>619279137 >>619272868 (OP) >AAA EDDIE YOU BENCHOD HOW CAN YOU EAT TIKKA MASALA? THERE'S REDEEMERS OUT THERE >> Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:58:50 No.619280106 ► File: 1667920868727756.jpg (23 KB, 470x473) >>619280084 Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:21:07 No.619278613 ► >>619278357 YAHO We'll Be Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:58:06 No.619280084 ► >>619280106 >>619272868 (OP) MARY DISH ISH A REVIEW OF A SHMATPHONE SHAOMI REDMI NOUT 12 SHARTHAMBAHANA VARTHANA HARBHASVHANA YAHO Right Back Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)16:45 File: 1625587320693.jpg (8 KB, 317: Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:39:07 No.619279328 File: 1495389153419.png (566 KB, 905x619) >>619278623 F--- >>619274336 It's gonna be great. Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:38:14 No.619279280 ► >>619279401 >>619282216 >>619282890 >>619286652 Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:41:10 No.61927940 File: 1b59543f2015006db41d0fa71(...).jpg (14 KB, 474 >> Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)23:29:42 No.619296175 ► >>619298223: >In my restless dreams, I see that Card >Google Play >> Anonymous 11/27/22 (Sun)00:03:04 No.619298229 ► File: 1669471695469746.gif (1.76 MB, 250x250) YAHOO! >>619296175 Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)20:41:58 No.619287196 ► >>619287315 >>619287415 >>619287494 >>619288203 >>619289472 >>619290293 >>619293439 >>619294613 >>619294868 >>619295673 File: 1643207057266.png (716 KB, 620x620) >>619279280 □ Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)20:32:17 No.61928665 File: 1663433674451171.png (368 KB, 448x704) >>61927 >>61927 >>619279280 Hello sir you see that town in you dream ok ???? Hello bitch you there ???? Anonymous 11/27/22(Sun)00:03:00 No.619298223 >>619296175 >I told you not to redeem it >But you still did >> Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:49:27 No.619279713 ► >>619272868 (OP) i love Reddit Hill 2 memes on /v/ top class s---

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The tale of fridgebro (x-post r/neckbeardnests) | /r/Greentext

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GreenTextsiFindFunny #2 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/08/13(Sun)15:01:08 No.504946585 Replies: >>504947761 >>504947850 >>504948334 >>504948936 >>504949032 >>504949653 Hamplanet stories? Hamplanet stories. >Be me >Be 17 I mean like they look like 2 pieces of lard budded off of her and made two little amerifat bastards >She comes up and asks for 6 McDickles and a 20 piece chicken niglets >"Okay that'll be... >"I'M NOT DONE YET"! cries the beast >She then asks her kids what they want >allmywut.jpeg How much food does one walking adipose tissue need? >Working at McDicks >At the register taking orders 'cause I'm a poor n----- White Master Race checking in >She orders about 8 more burgers (4 for each kid) >It comes out to almost 40 dollars after they get fries and drinks >Ambulance comes Un >Her calves are crying >Woman comes in with her two kids >Easily 400 lbs >Her kids are identical to her >She fumbles through her purse to find a bunch of crumpled up dollars >She's panting just from going through her purse >Look over at the one daughter >She's sweating, and protruding from her pants is not a camel toe, not a moose knuckle, but what I call a mammoth hoof >The beasts comes up 5 dollars short ALL >All I can do is laugh > pay you another day" > "Um, sorry mam I can't let you take of this food" >The land whale breathes in and screams "You can't do that my kids are starving here" >Super bro manager comes up behind me "Mam I think they'd last a few years" Hor >Her face turns red >A scene like no other ensues >She tries to climb over the counter and attack the manager >Shes screaming >I feared I would die by being crushed by the earths second moon >Half way up the counter she falls back down and lands on one of her kids taking them out >l burst out laughing, everyone is laughing Sho >She then has heart attack, no joke >w-- >Her kids may never see their mom again >My sandwich was delicious. >They need other peoples help in there to get her onto the stretcher >Went on lunch break at the subway down the street N >I might have given someone a heart attack >1 may have killed someone

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Anon watches Black Panther | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 374 KB JPG 07/19/18(Thu)20:28:45 No.774817298 >be me >friend torrents black panther, we're about to watch it >me: "so is this actually good or just overhyped" >him: "apparently actually good, haven't watched it" >me: "i bet there's basketball, rap, and slavery references within the first 2 minutes" >him: "pfbpfptf i don't think they'd go that far man" >me: "no seriously i bet there is." >him: *awkward silence and a weird look* >we start the movie >1 minute of scifi backstory, includes a reference to slavery >followed by basketball and rap >mfw

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