Anon does charity | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 578 KB JPG 11/27/22(Sun)21:15:14 No.889825674 >neighbor tells me about volunteering in Mexico >never been outside usa and canada but decide to go help the poor browns for a week >get to Mexico, actually not as bad as I thought >charity organization puts us in some airbnb house >four days in, start noticing a couple of pimples on my arm >come back home at the end of the week feeling great to have experienced a new culture and helped people >two weeks later, pimples have turned into lesions all over my arms >doctor tells me it's a viral infection >"avoid all physical contact with others anon, whoever touches this can easily get it" F--- this s--- I got some s--- third world virus from that airbnb. Have been getting painful treatment once a week for 2 months. Have not slept with my own wife for 2 months. Lesson learned. F--- mexico. F--- helping others. Never doing this s--- again.

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anon trolls those normies | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Rate my kms plan >learn few basic magic tricks and other things a clown should know >get a joker costume >advertise myself as a clown for hire >go to some kids birthday party >after performing some tricks pull out a gun and blow my brains out in front of everyone 38 KB JPG Anonymous 11/27/22(Sun)18:22:20 No.71160261 55 KB JPG 11/27/22(Sun)18:25:39 No.71160324 >>71160261 (OP) # Incredibly based and redpilled

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Anon sees a pattern | /r/Greentext

: Burgerboy (ID: ATFW38 Te 11/27/22(Sun)17:33:42 No.406178771 >>406178385 # I predict some sort of happening on December 8th, keeping in line with the pattern that's been going on since they turned on CERN >July 8: Shinzo Abe assassinated >August 8: Mar a Lago raid >September 8: Elizabeth II dies >October 8: Crimea Bridge explosion >November 8: US Midterm elections, Evelyn de Rothschild goes back to Hell Screencap this. Or don't, I don't care

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Anon meet his favorite heroes | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/02/15(Sun)14:13:20 No.59484314 >>59484351 >>59484376 >>59484493 >>59484588 >>59484933 >>59485128 >>59485712 >>59485924 >>59486195 >>59486254 >>59486967 >>59487526 >>59489001 >be 8 >terminal brain cancer >make a wish ask me what my dream is >I want to meet my favourite ghostbuster >big day comes >can't wait to meet Bill Murray >"We managed to get all four of them to come anon, isn't that great?" >4? But Harold Ramis is dead. >The door opens and I hear shrill laughter and mumbled ebonics >Four women shamble in to the room wearing cheap cosplay outfits. >The largest, a barely human looking sheboon swaggers over to me looking like she thinks she's made my day >"Who ya gun call lil guy?" >The rest of them roar with laughter >I hear a voice screaming "Ay gurls, lemme holla at ya" >A strange n---- runs in to my room and starts whooping. >The 4 women begin to whoop along with him and chant "PHOTO OP, PHOTO OP" >A camera flashes as I drift in to the abyss

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Anon is watching Harry Potter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/25/21 (Sat)15:48:02 No.156783721 >The applause faded as Dumbledore raised his hand to speak >"Thank you, students, for that most heartwarming welcome back to Hogwarts. I daresay Professor McGonagall more than rose to the occasion in my absence." >"As you all know, I spent the last few months attending a leadership workshop at Uagando, the African academy of pagan voodoo magic. There I learned a great deal about all sorts of exotic sorcery, such as the ability to transfigure oneself into a goat to escape punishment for crimes." 12 KB JPG >"However, what I found most fascinating was their tradition of sorting students not by arbitrary houses, but by nation of origin. Which is why I'm pleased to announce that Hogwarts will now be doing the same, as I'm sure you've already noticed." >He gestured to the flags of England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland hung above the four tables. >"But there will be time to discuss this later. For now, let us begin tonight's feast!" >With a wave of his hand, Dumbledore summoned the food to the tables. Plates of scrumptuous pies and vegetables glazed just right, savory cuts of turkey swimming in gravy, delectable treacle tarts and trays of warm fudge, and tankards of butterbeer all appeared before the eyes of the students... >Except for the Irish. >At the Irish table appeared only potatoes. Heaps and heaps of brown, raw potatoes. >Dumbledore smiled at the dumbstruck Irish students. "What's the matter, children? Something wrong with your dinner?" >Nervously, Seamus Finnegan picked up a fork and prepared to poke one of the potatoes. >"WEAPON!" Dumbledore cried, "THAT MICK HAS A WEAPON! WATCH OUT!" He brandished his wand at Seamus, whose hand exploded in a spray of red mist. >"IS THIS HOW YOU LEPRECHAUNS REPAY MY HOSPITALITY? MISTER FILCH, ESCORT IRELAND TO THE GAS CHAMBER OF SECRETS AT ONCE! ENGLISH STUDENTS, YOU MAY TAKE THEIR COMMON ROOM!"

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/v/ imagines a Silent Hill 2 set in India | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)15:13:29 No.619272868 >>619274336 >>619274613 >>619274660 >>619277757 >>619277763 >>619278623 >>619279137 >>619279713 >>619280084 >>619280953 >>619282640 >>619287619 >>619291457 >MARY? YOU BLOODY BASTARD BITCH F---, ARE YOU HERE IN THE SILENT HILLS? << Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)15:39:15 No.619274336 ► >>619274613 >>619276843 >>619277386 >>619277392 >>619279137 >>619286683 >>619288396 >>619272868 (OP) >DO NOT READ THE LETTER YOU BITCH LISTEN TO ME Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)15:43:46 No.619274559 ► >>619274613 >>619277386 >>619279137 >>619288396 >There was a loo here. It's gone now... Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)15:44:40 No.619274613 ► File: 1666676612401049.jpg (349 KB, 705x676) Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)15:45:30 No.619274660 ► >>619272868 (OP) kek Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)15:57:55 No.619275279 ► >>619279137 File: mqdefault(2).jpg (4 KB, 320x180) >>619272868 (OP) >>619274336 >>619274559 Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:04:11 No.619277942 ► >>619278357 >>619279137 >"For me, it's always like this" >The sacred holy river becomes increasingly more polluted and full of feces >> Anonymous 11/26/22 (Sat)17:14:24 No.619278357► >>619278613 >>619279137 File: toilet.jpg (23 KB, 614x632) >> MA'AM ARE YOU A PROSTITUTE? C 1 >>619277942 >"They look like monsters to you?" Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:15:48 No.619278409 ► >>619279137 Have you seen a little girl? Short, brown hair and skin. Works in IT as a call center operator. Does that narrow it down? >WHY DID YOU REDEEM? >ARE YOU MAD? YOU BLOODY BITCH BASTARD! >ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)16:35:56 No.6192 File: never ever.jpg (47 KB, 327x316) >> Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:21:28 No.619278623 >>619279137 >>619279328 >>619272868 (OP) >our "special place"... what could she mean? this whole village was our special place. does she mean the designated s------- place near the train tracks? Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:00:58 No.619277791 ► >>619279137 File: 1667369029558716.png (977 KB, 1000x1260) >>619291227 File: delhi.png (1.31 MB, 1280x960) SURF YOU SEE THIS IMAGE VOU HAVE BEEN VISITED BY PRESTIGEN MUR FaceApp ZOZ >the fog is just air pollution ALL your arts will be REDCENED ndy if you DO THE NEEDFUL and reply FOOD MICHWA Anonymous 11/26/22 (Sat)17:00:16 No.619277763 ► >>619279137 >>619272868 (OP) >AAA EDDIE YOU BENCHOD HOW CAN YOU EAT TIKKA MASALA? THERE'S REDEEMERS OUT THERE >> Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:58:50 No.619280106 ► File: 1667920868727756.jpg (23 KB, 470x473) >>619280084 Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:21:07 No.619278613 ► >>619278357 YAHO We'll Be Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:58:06 No.619280084 ► >>619280106 >>619272868 (OP) MARY DISH ISH A REVIEW OF A SHMATPHONE SHAOMI REDMI NOUT 12 SHARTHAMBAHANA VARTHANA HARBHASVHANA YAHO Right Back Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)16:45 File: 1625587320693.jpg (8 KB, 317: Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:39:07 No.619279328 File: 1495389153419.png (566 KB, 905x619) >>619278623 F--- >>619274336 It's gonna be great. Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:38:14 No.619279280 ► >>619279401 >>619282216 >>619282890 >>619286652 Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:41:10 No.61927940 File: 1b59543f2015006db41d0fa71(...).jpg (14 KB, 474 >> Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)23:29:42 No.619296175 ► >>619298223: >In my restless dreams, I see that Card >Google Play >> Anonymous 11/27/22 (Sun)00:03:04 No.619298229 ► File: 1669471695469746.gif (1.76 MB, 250x250) YAHOO! >>619296175 Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)20:41:58 No.619287196 ► >>619287315 >>619287415 >>619287494 >>619288203 >>619289472 >>619290293 >>619293439 >>619294613 >>619294868 >>619295673 File: 1643207057266.png (716 KB, 620x620) >>619279280 □ Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)20:32:17 No.61928665 File: 1663433674451171.png (368 KB, 448x704) >>61927 >>61927 >>619279280 Hello sir you see that town in you dream ok ???? Hello bitch you there ???? Anonymous 11/27/22(Sun)00:03:00 No.619298223 >>619296175 >I told you not to redeem it >But you still did >> Anonymous 11/26/22(Sat)17:49:27 No.619279713 ► >>619272868 (OP) i love Reddit Hill 2 memes on /v/ top class s---

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The tale of fridgebro (x-post r/neckbeardnests) | /r/Greentext

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GreenTextsiFindFunny #2 | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/08/13(Sun)15:01:08 No.504946585 Replies: >>504947761 >>504947850 >>504948334 >>504948936 >>504949032 >>504949653 Hamplanet stories? Hamplanet stories. >Be me >Be 17 I mean like they look like 2 pieces of lard budded off of her and made two little amerifat bastards >She comes up and asks for 6 McDickles and a 20 piece chicken niglets >"Okay that'll be... >"I'M NOT DONE YET"! cries the beast >She then asks her kids what they want >allmywut.jpeg How much food does one walking adipose tissue need? >Working at McDicks >At the register taking orders 'cause I'm a poor n----- White Master Race checking in >She orders about 8 more burgers (4 for each kid) >It comes out to almost 40 dollars after they get fries and drinks >Ambulance comes Un >Her calves are crying >Woman comes in with her two kids >Easily 400 lbs >Her kids are identical to her >She fumbles through her purse to find a bunch of crumpled up dollars >She's panting just from going through her purse >Look over at the one daughter >She's sweating, and protruding from her pants is not a camel toe, not a moose knuckle, but what I call a mammoth hoof >The beasts comes up 5 dollars short ALL >All I can do is laugh > pay you another day" > "Um, sorry mam I can't let you take of this food" >The land whale breathes in and screams "You can't do that my kids are starving here" >Super bro manager comes up behind me "Mam I think they'd last a few years" Hor >Her face turns red >A scene like no other ensues >She tries to climb over the counter and attack the manager >Shes screaming >I feared I would die by being crushed by the earths second moon >Half way up the counter she falls back down and lands on one of her kids taking them out >l burst out laughing, everyone is laughing Sho >She then has heart attack, no joke >w-- >Her kids may never see their mom again >My sandwich was delicious. >They need other peoples help in there to get her onto the stretcher >Went on lunch break at the subway down the street N >I might have given someone a heart attack >1 may have killed someone

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Anon watches Black Panther | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 374 KB JPG 07/19/18(Thu)20:28:45 No.774817298 >be me >friend torrents black panther, we're about to watch it >me: "so is this actually good or just overhyped" >him: "apparently actually good, haven't watched it" >me: "i bet there's basketball, rap, and slavery references within the first 2 minutes" >him: "pfbpfptf i don't think they'd go that far man" >me: "no seriously i bet there is." >him: *awkward silence and a weird look* >we start the movie >1 minute of scifi backstory, includes a reference to slavery >followed by basketball and rap >mfw

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Anon is autistic | /r/Greentext

Am I autistic? Anonymous 07/ >walk into Subway by myself >forget im in real life >see white woman >audibly say "white woman spotted"

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Anon wonders if Asuka would be transphobic | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/22/22(Tue)21:43:24 No.889539174 C4C25160-2287-4217-A1FD-OFC707F5CF25.jpg 134 KB JPG Do you think she would've been transphobic?

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Not mine but a good old one | /r/Greentext

File: 1392845401898.jpg (133 KB, 1024x768) Anonymous 01/27/16(Wed)00:11:50 No.665569372 >>665570824 >>665571122 >be me >be in high school >forced to sit next to autistic kid named Ben >fat neckbeard wears nothing but sweatpants and smells like cat piss. >everyday Ben asks me what did I have for dinner last night. >always tell him tacos >wow anon you sure like tacos >sure do f-----. >anyways one day I catch Ben checking out this 8/10 slut in class named Beth. >datass.jpeg >"Hey Ben I bet you want her taco huh" >starts tarding out >REEEEEEEE >"Beth and Ben, sounds like a match in heaven" >"She's so beautiful anon I love her" >everyday start telling him to go for it. >"I can't anon i'm scared" >"you'll never know how she feels unless you ask her out" >days pass >"Jesus NO Ben, I'm dating Anon" >entire class is laughing >one day during class Beth is dressed extra slutty. >"IM GONNA ÄSK HER" >the day has come >Ben stands up sweating like a Beth in a church. >walks over to her desk tripping over backpacks left and right >"B-b-b-beth?" >The look of disgust on her face is glorious >"yeah?" >"do you want to come over to my house and eat mac and cheese with me and my mom?" >Thereisagod.png >"We can play skylanders and cuddle" >my sides are in space >Beth looks over at me >Ben walks slowly back to his seat >"Hey Ben wanna know about the taco I ate for dinner?" >Looks at me with tears in his eyes >MFW

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Anon has an encounter | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous >be me >grandpa owns over 3.8 billion acre dense forest that no human has ever set foot in since the Cambrian Explosion >decide to go camping >[ahem] 11/25/22(Fri)16:20:16 No.33457386 >innawoods >sort of into /k/ s---, nothing special >bring some light stuff, didn't go too crazy on it >brought my dad's M119 Howitzer (with bayonet just in case) >go out in my 3 story tent >pretty normal until nightfall, where it gets really crazy >there was no sunset, it went immediately from high noon to the dead of night in a literal second, like real life had just become some kind of s----- and obviously fake horror story with over three thousand cliches >suddenly I smell something like rusty blood and old metal, or salty coins and milk, it's hard to describe and/or remember >I see a humanoid figure in the treeline, about 6 inches away from my face >h-------- it's a walkskinner >I can barely hear it, and it shouts from the treeline, "gimme 20 dollars" >fire my howitzer at it >it misses, explodes, pisses off The Walkskinner >start to run away, can barely make it the distance from my campsite back to civilization (my house was like 10 feet away, but my feet were really sore) >start to write this story >do the captcha >post it >>33457793 # >>33457884 # >>33461239 # >>33465602 # >>33465805 # >>33465831 #

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