Anon plays D&D | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 09/25/11(Sun)23:15 No.16426614 File 1317006946.jpg-(96 KB, 634x456, sir bearington.jpg) MAR >Make a bear character in D&D 3.5 >DM laughs >Make bear a rogue, put every point I can into disguise >Prestige class as a spy to get more disguise >DM says I can't speak english >Max out bluff >By growling and gesturing, I can fake speaking a language I don't speak (english) >use money to hire a butler NPC >Give him magical item to let him speak bear "GROWWWWWL" "An excellent suggestion, Mister Bearington. We really should ask the group to investigate the Black Marsh >Over the course of the game, be knighted as Sir Bearington >Queen holds a dinner in my honor. >A guest becomes the first man to ever make a perception check that can beat my disguise >Shouts out loud "HEY, THAT GUY'S NOT A GUY, HE'S JUST A BEAR!" >Man is escorted out of the castle while the guards apologise profusely for the indignity "We're so sorry, Sir Bearington, very sorry for this man's behavior" "ROAR" *shrug*

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon listens to Sabbath | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous ADAM Sv THAND HAN ER THE WHEAR BLACK SABBATH THE ULTIMATE COLLECTION 64 KB JPG 11/04/18(Sun)20:10:51 No.784074298 >be me >be at home listening to music >have subwoofer cranked because of ...and justice for all >song about to end >see next song in playlist >Black Sabbaths N.I.B. Panic.jpg >I dive for the sound system but it's too late >The bass intro starts causing a magnitude 9.0 earthquake >l die instantly And that's how I accidentally caused the Fukushima Daichi Nuclear Disaster

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Anon’s mom left some loose ends. | /r/Greentext

JPG 7.3 kB >be young >have a brother 1 year older >mother gets daily visitors >each time she gets a visitor she locks us in a room >looks away and says:"lookout for your retarded brother >each one of us thinks the other is retarded >mother dies Still don't know which one of us was the retarded one

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Anon hates Buddhism. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 12 KB JPG 07/29/21(Thu)23:56:23 >"Hey, uhh, Buddha, what do you want on your pizza?" No.18745934 >"If you have to ask... then you don't know." >Buddha then shot a random guy in the face, just shot him in the f------ face and killed him, he's dead now, h-------- >The student was enlightened instantly Why are all buddhist stories like this? Are you supposed to actually be getting something from this or are they just trying to f--- with white people?

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Anon writes a poem for his crush | /r/Greentext

Christmas Cake.jpg ✩ (91 KB, 540x538) google yandex iqdb wait Anonymous 09/22/22(Thu)17:19:09 No.70312138 >Not the best writer, but I like the craft >Have been trying my hand at poetry even though I find it difficult >Have been crushing on this one girl really hard, think about her all the time >Never as happy as when I'm talking with her >She actually smiles at me, she laughs at my jokes and I don't get the feeling she's laughing at me, she's laughing with me, which is kind of a first in my life >Feel lightheaded and giddy whenever I'm around her >Try to put that feeling into a poem, it's not great, but it's the best I can do >DM the poem to her Twitter (because that's the only online account thing I know of her's) from a throwaway account with the comment "From a Secret Admirer" >Go to sleep dreaming that maybe she will recognize it's from me >The next day she runs up to me, laughing >"Anon, anon, look! Look at what this creep sent me yesterday!" >She shows me my poem >She starts reciting it to me, barely able to keep the laughter out of her voice >When she gets done she makes a gagging noise and says "Is that not the creepiest s--- you've ever heard?" >I force myself to smile and say "Yeah, what a loser" >All day, she keeps going up to friends and showing them the poem, laughing >Many of the girls she shows it to are disgusted and one even suggests she should file a report with the police

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anon, what the fuck? | /r/Greentext

72,000 CALORIES A DAY DIET Bottlcall OLIVE OIL 159 KB JPG 10/18/22(Tue)16:21:36 No.68682981 For the past 3-4 days I've been drinking three 2 litre tins of olive oil a day and each tin is 24,000 calories. It was going ok apart from some minor bathroom problems but now i'm suddenly feeling super sluggish, getting headaches and feeling somewhat unwell now. Should I try and push forward with my bulkmaxxxing or give up? Anonymous 10/18/22(Tue)16:22:23 No.68682991 I'm looking for genuine opinions, especially if you have any medical knowledge because I was feeling good at the start of this and now I feel like absolute s--- for some reason. >>68683000 # >>68683016 # : Anonymous >>68682991 # >for some reason 10/18/22(Tue)16:23:37 No.68683000

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Anon is a long term planner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Times you games the system thr(...) 83 KB JPG 10/29/22(Sat)23:55:34 No.888175672 >be me >block and report every ad I see on Reddit >mfw someday I'll have blocked every ad and won't see them anymore

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Anon isn't a pop-culture NPC, tries classical music, awakens his true power. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous why not become a sissygirl? 10/30/22(Sun)01:19:52 No.70777156 Thoughts? 1666888889338711.jpg 54 KB JPG >listen to classical music >read victorian era novels for girls (jane austen, julia quinn, emily bronte, etc) >start getting into aristocratic or classic l----- fashion >take hormones and let your hair grow >wear a parasol outside to stay pale and beautiful

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anon has a stroke | /r/Greentext

No.176193855 29 minutes ago 1568255041053.jpg JPG 51.9 KiB 800x761 >see this watch? this watch costs more than your car. How do you respond without coming off at mad or jelly af? 32 replies No.176193915 27 minutes ago >>176193855 (OP) >I have no doubt your obscene ammpunt of money gives you priviledges that I could never reach. For example, I could never shoot a woman in front of muktuple people and get away with it 3 replies

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Anon hits the gym | /r/Greentext

Anonymous| 45243472 42,2 kB JPG 3 REPLIES >be me >22 yo >overweight beta loser >decide to f--- it all and get my life in control >get new clothes >go to the gym >work out harder than ever in my life >sweat dripping off me >can't feel my legs >a couple of chads walk by >hear one of them say to the other >"What a fat loser" >... >He's technically right >I am losing a lot of fat 0 IMAGES Anonymous | 45243502 Nice keep going man REPLY

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Anon plays Skyrim | /r/Greentext

Anonymous W 42 KB JPG 05/19/21 (Wed)19:16:53 No.63747336 >be me >yesterday >playing modded skyrim >have a ton of gun mods installed >get bored and kill everybody in whiterun with assault rifle >take meds and go to bed >wake up next morning >turn on tv >see on news that like 30 people died in a shooting in a town close to where I live >mfw when I remembered I forgot to take schizophrenia meds yesterday >mfw I realize I dont own skyrim

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Anon is a feminist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 2PO9IAnq 161 KB JPG 10/28/22(Fri)23:15:45 No.401913559 What are some jobs that women just can't do? : Anonymous (ID: (02tF5N7z 10/28/22 (Fri)23:16:37 No.401913650 >>401913559 (OP) # Anything but prostitute. >>401913711 # >>401913904 # >>401914023 # >>401914373 # >>401916973 # >>401917469 # >>401917710 #

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Anon is a liar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 43 KB JPG 10/24/22(Mon)11:25:34 No.70711917 > Be me, 5'6 manlet > Getting hot and heavy with nice piece of ass fwb 8 Replies > She knows that I talk to 2 other girls > She's kissing on my neck while we're talking s--- to each other because that's how we communicate > Says "you should call one of your little girlfriends right now" > Not a p----, so call up my favorite > She answers and we talk for like 10 minutes all while fwb is biting my neck and stroking my d---. > Fwb gets p----- off when she hears the girl on the phone say "I love you" > Hang up the phone and fwb proceeds to give me the b------ of my f------ life out of spite. >Life is good View Thread

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