Anon is a liar | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 43 KB JPG 10/24/22(Mon)11:25:34 No.70711917 > Be me, 5'6 manlet > Getting hot and heavy with nice piece of ass fwb 8 Replies > She knows that I talk to 2 other girls > She's kissing on my neck while we're talking s--- to each other because that's how we communicate > Says "you should call one of your little girlfriends right now" > Not a p----, so call up my favorite > She answers and we talk for like 10 minutes all while fwb is biting my neck and stroking my d---. > Fwb gets p----- off when she hears the girl on the phone say "I love you" > Hang up the phone and fwb proceeds to give me the b------ of my f------ life out of spite. >Life is good View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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What would you do? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 355 KB PNG 10/15/22(Sat)07:03:10 No.70596030 >you're a college student >you moved away from your hometown for all of high school, but you're coming back to do college there >pic related was your childhood friend >she used to be thin as a rail, but now looks like this >keeps trying to hang out with you on campus and "catch up" What would you do?

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Anon has the best idea ever | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 08/26/09(Wed)17:42 No.507336 File 1251322942.jpg-(21 KB, 800x437, Sharovipteryx BW.jpg) >>507327 Guys... guys I'll put WINGS guys Guys. Guys listen. I have the best ide guys listen I have the best idea ever guys wings I'll put WINGS guys listen here I'll put WINGS... on my BACK legs.

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Anon likes to make fun of morbidly obese people. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: IBVRz7Yz Anonymous (ID: 4hlc0+ud) 3 >>99766278 # 11/22/16 (Tue)11:55:02 No.99766278 11/22/16(Tue)11:57:47 No.99766658 Bit insensitive to make the stage a scale. >>99766750 # >>99766986 # >>99767349 # >>99767395 # >>99767701 # >>99767858 # >>99768493 # >>99769320 # >>99769750 # >>99774112 # >>99776031 # >>99776744 # >>99776876 # >>99777293 # >>99777303 # >>99777994 # >>99778396 # >>99779199 # >>99779250 # >>99780089 # >>99780216 # >>99780320 # 947 not again.jpg 205 KB JPG >>99766658 # >>99767594 # >>99769876 # >>99772157 # >>99779783 #

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Entering goblin mode | /r/Greentext

NEAT 1. #103618555 10/17/18, 5:00 PM >mfw I realize all of Spider-Man's enemies are modeled after the spider's natural predators 9 REPLIES 2 #103618579 10/17/18 5:01 PM >>103618555 OP How is an octopus a natural predator for spiders? 2 REPLIES 3 #103618601 10/17/18 5:02 PM >>103618555 OP Rhino, alien symbiote, electricity, etc. . . . seems legit. 2 REPLIES 4 #103618607 10/17/18 5:03 PM >>103618555 OP Ah yes, the greatest of the natural predators, the goblin.

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Anon takes the kanepill | /r/Greentext

80 KB JPG >be me >playing command and conquer >everyone likes Kane even though he's evil >the on every video of him online everyone always says what a great guy he is >in the literal game he's described as "charismatic" like 9 times Idea.jpg >go bald, grow a beard like his >wear black clothes all the time >get a nod ring 3d printed and sew small nod symbols onto my suits >get a nod bumper sticker for my car >try to copy all of his mannerisms and personality from the game >watch interviews with the actor to try and see how he does it >after a few months of this people start to actually talk to me > get the courage to ask a girl out >mfw she says yes > I've been with 3 girls already Take the kanepill anons

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Anon tries to understand why Kurt Cobained himself | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Why was this f------- so sad? 194 KB JPG 10/27/22(Thu)17:26:09 No.113347488 >married to hot rockstar >has a daughter >multi-millionaire >in the biggest band in america - if not the world - at the time >childhood trauma revealed to be massively exaggerated >lives in one of the nicest states >millions of adoring fans >numerous friends who loved and cared for him The only thing he had was crohn's wish is easily treated and a heroine addiction which could be solved with rehab.

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Anon has amnesia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 46 KB JPG 06/14/18(Thu)23:24:54 No.46119625 > study a foreign language in secret > study really hard for a couple of years, vocabulary, grammar, the whole nine yards > never tell a soul > hide all of your resources for the target language > talk with native speakers using an alternate skype / discord but never tell them about your life so as to not trace back to you > become a master of this language > one day, go to public place like grocery store > pretend to slip / fall / feint > when you come to, only speak in your target language and act like you don't understand english anymore

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It’s simple, we kill the Batman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 14 KB JPG 03/12/21 (Fri)20:28:00 No.849400058 > be me > family starving > decide to commit crime > batman shows up > breaks my leg, both arms and spine > says he doesn't kill and leaves me with the pain hospital bill I can't pay > mfw I have to commit crime to pay hospital bill now

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Anon loves science | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous War 12/08/19(Sun)17:04:53 No.11210574 War is the single most effective way to advance scientific progress. Humans that are motivated to kill each other will stop at nothing to improve how effectively they can kill. Thousands of inventions and advancements are directly or indirectly a product of war, and end up improving the lives of hundreds of millions of people later down the line when wartime is over. Some of the most notable are: 165 KB JPG >computers >the internet >commerical aircraft >nuclear power >food preservation >literally half of everything you've ever interacted with So, riddle me this /sci/: why aren't you pro-war? We haven't had a World War in a while and we could benefit from the advancements in the long run. Culling the global population would be a bonus.

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Anon witnesses a Surgical Strike | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 6tVukYbO 49 KB JPG 06/19/14(Thu)20:58:03 No.552114428 >went to highschool with this guy >dude literally had no neck >had to turn his whole body to look at something. >pivot master >he was kind of a prick too >in gym class one day >go back to locker rooms and s--- >after showering >goes to get his bag with clothes >some filled it full of bottles of head & shoulders >i laughed for goddamn week.

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Anon thinks Tom Cruise was the last samurai | /r/Greentext

Anonymous LAST SAMURAI 37 KB JPG 09/18/22(Sun)09:09:38 No. 174326526 >white people: NOOO YOU CAN'T MAKE ELVES AND MERMAIDS BLACK, YOU ARE REWRITING HISTORY! >>174326584 # >also white people: let's make Tom Cruise the last Samurai Anonymous >>174326526 (OP) # show me in the movie where they say hes the last samurai 09/18/22(Sun)09:10:10 No. 174326543 Anonymous >>174326526 (OP) # >let's make Tom Cruise the last Samurai They didn't though 09/18/22(Sun)09:10:45 No.174326565

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Anon takes a nap | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.31 MB GIF 10/29/22(Sat)04:46:05 No.8881487 Go to sleep at 9pm >>instantly wake up at 5am Get a little extra sleep at 5am >>feel like I'm in a dream for days Wake up at 5:06 am same day Why are brains like this 10/29/22(Sat)04:55:37 No.88814899 Anonymous >>888148703 (OP) # hmm my professional diagnosis is youre a gay nerd

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