Anon takes the kanepill | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

80 KB JPG >be me >playing command and conquer >everyone likes Kane even though he's evil >the on every video of him online everyone always says what a great guy he is >in the literal game he's described as "charismatic" like 9 times Idea.jpg >go bald, grow a beard like his >wear black clothes all the time >get a nod ring 3d printed and sew small nod symbols onto my suits >get a nod bumper sticker for my car >try to copy all of his mannerisms and personality from the game >watch interviews with the actor to try and see how he does it >after a few months of this people start to actually talk to me > get the courage to ask a girl out >mfw she says yes > I've been with 3 girls already Take the kanepill anons

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon tries to understand why Kurt Cobained himself | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Why was this f------- so sad? 194 KB JPG 10/27/22(Thu)17:26:09 No.113347488 >married to hot rockstar >has a daughter >multi-millionaire >in the biggest band in america - if not the world - at the time >childhood trauma revealed to be massively exaggerated >lives in one of the nicest states >millions of adoring fans >numerous friends who loved and cared for him The only thing he had was crohn's wish is easily treated and a heroine addiction which could be solved with rehab.

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Anon has amnesia | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 46 KB JPG 06/14/18(Thu)23:24:54 No.46119625 > study a foreign language in secret > study really hard for a couple of years, vocabulary, grammar, the whole nine yards > never tell a soul > hide all of your resources for the target language > talk with native speakers using an alternate skype / discord but never tell them about your life so as to not trace back to you > become a master of this language > one day, go to public place like grocery store > pretend to slip / fall / feint > when you come to, only speak in your target language and act like you don't understand english anymore

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It’s simple, we kill the Batman | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 14 KB JPG 03/12/21 (Fri)20:28:00 No.849400058 > be me > family starving > decide to commit crime > batman shows up > breaks my leg, both arms and spine > says he doesn't kill and leaves me with the pain hospital bill I can't pay > mfw I have to commit crime to pay hospital bill now

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Anon loves science | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous War 12/08/19(Sun)17:04:53 No.11210574 War is the single most effective way to advance scientific progress. Humans that are motivated to kill each other will stop at nothing to improve how effectively they can kill. Thousands of inventions and advancements are directly or indirectly a product of war, and end up improving the lives of hundreds of millions of people later down the line when wartime is over. Some of the most notable are: 165 KB JPG >computers >the internet >commerical aircraft >nuclear power >food preservation >literally half of everything you've ever interacted with So, riddle me this /sci/: why aren't you pro-war? We haven't had a World War in a while and we could benefit from the advancements in the long run. Culling the global population would be a bonus.

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Anon witnesses a Surgical Strike | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: 6tVukYbO 49 KB JPG 06/19/14(Thu)20:58:03 No.552114428 >went to highschool with this guy >dude literally had no neck >had to turn his whole body to look at something. >pivot master >he was kind of a prick too >in gym class one day >go back to locker rooms and s--- >after showering >goes to get his bag with clothes >some filled it full of bottles of head & shoulders >i laughed for goddamn week.

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Anon thinks Tom Cruise was the last samurai | /r/Greentext

Anonymous LAST SAMURAI 37 KB JPG 09/18/22(Sun)09:09:38 No. 174326526 >white people: NOOO YOU CAN'T MAKE ELVES AND MERMAIDS BLACK, YOU ARE REWRITING HISTORY! >>174326584 # >also white people: let's make Tom Cruise the last Samurai Anonymous >>174326526 (OP) # show me in the movie where they say hes the last samurai 09/18/22(Sun)09:10:10 No. 174326543 Anonymous >>174326526 (OP) # >let's make Tom Cruise the last Samurai They didn't though 09/18/22(Sun)09:10:45 No.174326565

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Anon takes a nap | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 1.31 MB GIF 10/29/22(Sat)04:46:05 No.8881487 Go to sleep at 9pm >>instantly wake up at 5am Get a little extra sleep at 5am >>feel like I'm in a dream for days Wake up at 5:06 am same day Why are brains like this 10/29/22(Sat)04:55:37 No.88814899 Anonymous >>888148703 (OP) # hmm my professional diagnosis is youre a gay nerd

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Anon is... special | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/06/22(Thu)06:00:33 No.70478116 American-psycho-bateman-1-.jpg 37 KB JPG >casually applying to jobs im wildly unqualified for mfw im starting my first job doing "data entry" in a week : Anonymous 10/06/22(Thu)06:02:42 No.70478132 >>70478116 (OP) # you do realize that actual monkeys would be qualified for data entry as long as they could type right?

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Anon is the pure evil | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 13 KB JPG Anonymous 4 KB PNG 02/16/22(Wed)14:03:57 No.67453051 >instructions say cook from frozen >cook from chilled instead 02/16/22(Wed)14:06:47 No.67453085 >>67453051 (OP) >cashier tells me to have a nice day >tell her I will >don't

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Anon speaks the truth | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 272 KB PNG 09/16/18(Sun)17:48:29 No.48171415 >Women can send you to jail for a decade and ruin your life and reputation >If she is caught out as a liar she will only get a year in prison

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Anon likes Y wings | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/07/18(Mon)23:15:19 No.37830689 df2bf0353d7496b8d8ecedcf0f62bde2.jpg 149 KB JPG >Originally a fighter on par with the X-Wing at 100MGLT, shown killing TIEs all over the place at Endor >RPGs make it slightly older, slightly slower >X-Wing games make it slow and sluggish >Rogue Squadron makes it even slower >Now almost universally considered a bomber that is useless at dogfights Has a fighter ever been more JUSTed? 178 Replies / 31 Images View Thread

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Anon doesn’t like critical | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 KB JPG 05/20/22(Fri)23:48:11 No.68714289 >hey guys it's critical >today we are taking yet another clip from my live stream of me watching a youtube video that somebody else made and getting a million views for what little I add in words with my boring dry tired voice >also, for comedic effect, I will stretch the image on the youtube thumbnail for the billionth time >please laugh

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