Anon doesn’t like critical | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 8 KB JPG 05/20/22(Fri)23:48:11 No.68714289 >hey guys it's critical >today we are taking yet another clip from my live stream of me watching a youtube video that somebody else made and getting a million views for what little I add in words with my boring dry tired voice >also, for comedic effect, I will stretch the image on the youtube thumbnail for the billionth time >please laugh

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File: fmt 87 24 615293 1604906381.jpg (87 KB, 1910x1080) ☐ Anonymous 11/11/24(Mon)13:47:16 No.17255059 >Is name De Gaul >The Gaul >>17255201 >Is in charge of the region that used to be called Gaul Who wrote this s---?

The Russian avos' (Russian: aвосb) describes a philosophy of behavior, or attitude, of a person who ignores possible problems or hassles and, at the same time, expects or hopes for no negative results or consequences. It is an attitude that treats life as unpredictable and holds that the best one can do is count on luck.[1][2] >>73658048 # 1703041606043192.jpg 127 KB JPG >Damn you are right, this whole positivity and gratefulness thing is actually pretty good Yeah especially if you think of it in terms of sheer usefulness. Any sort of doomerism just undermines your attitude and it's much better to go through life naively assuming things will turn out well as long as you keep going forward and trying again and again despite any downs and lows in the past. I like this pic

Anonymous Photo of anime girl date and time >be me >straight *The most violently homosexual text you will ever see in your life. No utterance of words is as homosexual as the ones currently viewed. This will be the most gay formulation of words in all of mankind's history.* >am i gay

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Anons from California | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous feels good man 123 KB JPG 10/28/22(Fri)16:21:58 No.888122431 >be Californian >wake up and read my proposition 65 sticker to remind myself that everything around me can give me cancer >eat nothing for breakfast but drink a massive amount of mimosas b4 leaving >take a fat dab and cough a lung out >leave the house in my tesla model 3 (we all have them here) >manage to cut off another driver in stop and go traffic and get in a road rage argument >continue driving 2 hours to my job that is only 15 mins away >enjoy the beauty of the smog on my drive >finally arrive at my software development job >get out of car >am hassled by homeless tweaker for a dollar >tell him I don't have cash only crypto >he stabs me with a dirty needle >cop sees it but ignores it >get through another day at work >return home to my $5000/mo one bedroom apartment >play sublime as I fall asleep

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Anon likes Scooby Doo | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 34 KB JPG 08/08/15(Sat)06:54:47 No.633378377 >>633377556 # >be 10 >watching Scooby Door >tfw Velma's sexy >start stroking my d--- through the blanket >feelssogood.png >feel a volcano erupting in my loins >shout SCOOBY DOOBY DOO as I c-- >Start doing it on the reg >SCOOBY DOOBY DOO every time I c-- >Mom thinks I really like Scooby Doo >Mom buys me all seasons of Scooby Doo for Christmas

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Anon turns it off and back on | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 08/26/18(Sun)04:17:27 No.778219655 >one day having a lot of fun playing vidya with a friend >nothing out of the ordinary happens >out of nowhere I feel my mood starting to decline >wonder what the f--- is 48 KB JPG happening >even though I was having fun and talking to someone I really like >feel like s--- >tell friend I need to go for a bit >lie in my bed >extremely p----- off for feeling like s--- >gather all the anger and strength I could muster and punch myself in the side of the head as hard as I f------ could >immediately feel dazed and fuzzy >I ride the feeling for a while >become super relaxed and happy Did I just restart my brain or something?

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anon tries throat singing | /r/Greentext

File: depositphotos_17354819-st(...).jpg (75 KB, 1023x662) Anonymous 10/27/22(Thu) 17:03:48 No.70754920 >be me one night at the computer >start throat singing >dog starts spasming and dies Who should I get mad at? The Jews or the Mongols?

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Time Travelled | /r/Greentext

: noko...also the game 09/29/17 (Fri)15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh I'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. : Anonymous >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard 09/29/17 (Fri) 15:48:59 No.19675059 >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #

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Anon explains the Zoomer fetish of "dominant tomboy mommy gf" fantasy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: fxGyRwzy)= 113 KB JPG 10/11/22(Tue)23:44:39 Why is this "mommy gf" s--- so f------ popular with modern men? No.399441932 I have genuinely never seena a single zoomer say he wants to be a leader and wants a submissive gf You know that old study how two men kissing gives straight people the same emotional response as maggots? Same here. Every time I see someone post "I want a tall, muscly tomboy gf carry me in her arms and r--- me" it's like I am looking at a bowl of maggots What went wrong with them? : Anonymous (ID: iXQliS6X) 10/11/22(Tue)23:49:51 No.399442370 you've got a whole generation of young men who were raised by single moms, taught by women, rejected by girls their age, basically every woman they've known has treated them like s--- their entire lives. so their ultimate fantasy is to find a woman who nurtures and loves them unconditionally >>399442435 # >>399442545 # >>399442938 # >>399443345 # >>399443353 # >>399443368 # >>399443560 # >>399443663 # >>399443978 # >>399445190 # >>399446119 # >>399448431 #

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Anon wants an easy recipe | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 463 KB PNG 10/27/22(Thu)18:33:46 No.18515219 >look up quick and easy recipe for dinner after a hard day's work >involves 37 different ingredients including hard to find spices >at least 3 days of prep work >2 hours of cook time >a deep fryer and a pressure cooker are involved >will have 384988558 dishes to clean at the end

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Anon wants to AI generate porn | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous retarded individual in need of(…..) 44 KB GIF 10/28/22(Fri)18:36:14 No.89474546 >be me >learn about ai art >like ai art >also like femboys >want to generate ai art of femboys, but stable diffusion says its """ inappropriate" >its open source so luckily there are versions with the filter removed >dont understand anything, not a coder >only see errors whenever i try anything what do? : Anonymous >>89474546 (OP) # Post an image of your thighs first, then we'll help you. 10/28/22(Fri)18:38:31 No.89474572

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Jew in attic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/25/18 (Wed)00:44:08 No.46985577 I feel bad for Anne Frank. It's every girls nightmare to have the whole world read your diary. She also didn't get a single dollar out of it, which is every Jews nightmare. >>46985757 # >>46985788 # >>46985908 # >>46987296 # >>46987641 # >>46989472 # >>46990171 #

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A threat from the gods | /r/Greentext

File: 1350104325954.jpg-(345 KB, 1143x857, f-----.jpg) TOOMING Anonymous 10/13/12(Sat)00:58 No. 15189937 Replies: >>15190166 >>15190218 >>15190296 Any interesting people at your gym, /fit/? I enjoy watching this fellow spend 2 hours a day on the smith machine. Anonymous 10/13/12(Sat)01:22 No. 15190316 Replies: >>15190333 >>15189937 (OP) is this gym in sydney? Anonymous 10/13/12(Sat)01:23 No. 15190333 Replies: >>15190346 >>15190316 Yeah, Bankstown Anonymous 10/13/12(Sat)01:23 No. 15190346 Replies: >>15190349 >>15190333 that 24 hour one? Anonymous 10/13/12(Sat)01.24 No. 15190349 Replies: >>15190368 >>15190370 >>15190346 Yep, do you go there too? Anonymous 10/13/12(Sat)01:25 No.15190368 Replies: >>15190391 >>15190451 >>15190475 >>15190733 >>15192589 >>15192631 >>15194138 >>15190349 I am the smith machine guy. If i ever see you i'm gonna f------ kill you f-----.

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Anon is nice to the cashier | /r/Greentext

>Maxed out my weights (unrelated) >Go to D---'s Sporting Goods >Grab a 45lb plate in each hand, head to check out >Cashier is 8/10 petite in a pink t-shirt >Plates make a satisfying thud as I lay them on the counter >She mirin' >I feel like a bear >I realize I am bear >Maul the cashier >Hibernate for the winter

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Anon wants to watch a film | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 269 KB JPG Anonymous Ga 12 KB PNG >>176162828 # 10/28/22(Fri)16:15:12 No.176162318 >watching shame on the airplane >loli next to me keeps looking at my screen how do you discreetly watch a movie on the plane 10/28/22(Fri)16:16:57 No.176162388 >>176162318 (OP) # >calling actual children "lolis"

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