anon tries throat singing | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

File: depositphotos_17354819-st(...).jpg (75 KB, 1023x662) Anonymous 10/27/22(Thu) 17:03:48 No.70754920 >be me one night at the computer >start throat singing >dog starts spasming and dies Who should I get mad at? The Jews or the Mongols?

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Time Travelled | /r/Greentext

: noko...also the game 09/29/17 (Fri)15:44:11 No.19675045 Reality glitch thread Post times where time and space goofed. >Be me 83 KB JPG >Going to bed while staying at grandparents' rural farmhouse as a 10 year old kid. >Not tired at all - 100% lucid. >Decide eh I'll just try closing my eyes. >It's only 9:30 p.m. >The MOMENT I close my eyes it's instantly morning literally within a blink of an eye. >Brother was in the twin bed next to me and he disappeared instantaneously. >Can smell grandma making breakfast. >YouWutMate.jpeg >Never been able to reproduce what happened or have somebody tell me the same happened to them. : Anonymous >>19675045 (OP) # You fell asleep you f----- retard 09/29/17 (Fri) 15:48:59 No.19675059 >>19675066 # >>19677427 # >>19678564 # >>19687722 # >>19689769 # >>19691641 #

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Anon explains the Zoomer fetish of "dominant tomboy mommy gf" fantasy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: fxGyRwzy)= 113 KB JPG 10/11/22(Tue)23:44:39 Why is this "mommy gf" s--- so f------ popular with modern men? No.399441932 I have genuinely never seena a single zoomer say he wants to be a leader and wants a submissive gf You know that old study how two men kissing gives straight people the same emotional response as maggots? Same here. Every time I see someone post "I want a tall, muscly tomboy gf carry me in her arms and r--- me" it's like I am looking at a bowl of maggots What went wrong with them? : Anonymous (ID: iXQliS6X) 10/11/22(Tue)23:49:51 No.399442370 you've got a whole generation of young men who were raised by single moms, taught by women, rejected by girls their age, basically every woman they've known has treated them like s--- their entire lives. so their ultimate fantasy is to find a woman who nurtures and loves them unconditionally >>399442435 # >>399442545 # >>399442938 # >>399443345 # >>399443353 # >>399443368 # >>399443560 # >>399443663 # >>399443978 # >>399445190 # >>399446119 # >>399448431 #

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Anon wants an easy recipe | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 463 KB PNG 10/27/22(Thu)18:33:46 No.18515219 >look up quick and easy recipe for dinner after a hard day's work >involves 37 different ingredients including hard to find spices >at least 3 days of prep work >2 hours of cook time >a deep fryer and a pressure cooker are involved >will have 384988558 dishes to clean at the end

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Anon wants to AI generate porn | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous retarded individual in need of(…..) 44 KB GIF 10/28/22(Fri)18:36:14 No.89474546 >be me >learn about ai art >like ai art >also like femboys >want to generate ai art of femboys, but stable diffusion says its """ inappropriate" >its open source so luckily there are versions with the filter removed >dont understand anything, not a coder >only see errors whenever i try anything what do? : Anonymous >>89474546 (OP) # Post an image of your thighs first, then we'll help you. 10/28/22(Fri)18:38:31 No.89474572

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Jew in attic | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 07/25/18 (Wed)00:44:08 No.46985577 I feel bad for Anne Frank. It's every girls nightmare to have the whole world read your diary. She also didn't get a single dollar out of it, which is every Jews nightmare. >>46985757 # >>46985788 # >>46985908 # >>46987296 # >>46987641 # >>46989472 # >>46990171 #

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A threat from the gods | /r/Greentext

File: 1350104325954.jpg-(345 KB, 1143x857, f-----.jpg) TOOMING Anonymous 10/13/12(Sat)00:58 No. 15189937 Replies: >>15190166 >>15190218 >>15190296 Any interesting people at your gym, /fit/? I enjoy watching this fellow spend 2 hours a day on the smith machine. Anonymous 10/13/12(Sat)01:22 No. 15190316 Replies: >>15190333 >>15189937 (OP) is this gym in sydney? Anonymous 10/13/12(Sat)01:23 No. 15190333 Replies: >>15190346 >>15190316 Yeah, Bankstown Anonymous 10/13/12(Sat)01:23 No. 15190346 Replies: >>15190349 >>15190333 that 24 hour one? Anonymous 10/13/12(Sat)01.24 No. 15190349 Replies: >>15190368 >>15190370 >>15190346 Yep, do you go there too? Anonymous 10/13/12(Sat)01:25 No.15190368 Replies: >>15190391 >>15190451 >>15190475 >>15190733 >>15192589 >>15192631 >>15194138 >>15190349 I am the smith machine guy. If i ever see you i'm gonna f------ kill you f-----.

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Anon is nice to the cashier | /r/Greentext

>Maxed out my weights (unrelated) >Go to D---'s Sporting Goods >Grab a 45lb plate in each hand, head to check out >Cashier is 8/10 petite in a pink t-shirt >Plates make a satisfying thud as I lay them on the counter >She mirin' >I feel like a bear >I realize I am bear >Maul the cashier >Hibernate for the winter

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Anon wants to watch a film | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 269 KB JPG Anonymous Ga 12 KB PNG >>176162828 # 10/28/22(Fri)16:15:12 No.176162318 >watching shame on the airplane >loli next to me keeps looking at my screen how do you discreetly watch a movie on the plane 10/28/22(Fri)16:16:57 No.176162388 >>176162318 (OP) # >calling actual children "lolis"

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anon arm wrestles his brother | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 10/28/22(Fri)12:14:59 No.70763599 >be me, 18 >arm wrestling with lil bro, 12 >I'm nice so I let him win >The little s--- gloats to everyone >my family gives me s--- and makes fun of me for being weaker than a 12 year old >I'm p----- so I beat the s--- out of lil bro to prove I'm stronger >Now my family is mad at ME 140 KB JPG Genuinely what was I supposed to do in this scenario? If I pretend to be weak I'm given s--- for it, if I show my strength I'm also given s--- for it?? Is my family just retarded??

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Anon finds that life is worth living | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 8 KB JPG 04/22/19(Mon)19:13:12 No.798004600 >be me >changed schools and locations at least a dozen times in my life >old friend invites me to his party >never been to a party before >but I havent seen him in so long >f--- it Im going >expect that Im gonna be a social stigma and talk to nobody >oh well >arrive at party >"ANON!" >everyone happy as f--- to see me >hugs on top of hugs on top of hugs from people I havent seen in years >they all missed me >I always thought I was a social outcast >smoking pot, getting drunk >flirting with girls that I used to think were way out of my league >vibing like there is no tommorow >3 am, crossfaded out of my mind >pass out on friend's floor >people actually like me >people actually enjoy my presence >feelsgoodman

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Anon makes puddlesucker's day | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 02/11/19(Mon)11:15:07 No.792359077 >be me >gap year >work as nursery assistant at a home for mentally challenged (IQ>70) >one guy is very unintelligent >24 years old >IQ too low to learn how to speak >only says weird sounds >no friends >only hobby is to suck puddles dry >once tried sucking lake dry >puked multiple times >once all got sick from bad food >he didn't because of superior stomach from sucking puddles >one day the home gets a new manager >decides that puddlesucker cannot suck puddles anymore >puddlesucker gets very sad >one time I have the night shift >its raining >see puddlesucker stand by the window crying looking at the many delicious puddles >I open the door >puddlesucker runs outside faster than a 4chan user chasing an icecream truck >sucks on atleast 7 puddles >comes back >gives me big wet hug >mfw guy who doesn't even crack a smile when he sees his family after 2 months, gives me a hug

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Anon loses his virginity to a transsexual prostitute. | /r/Greentext

File: 17a.png (286 KB, 500x497) weird feels thread Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)17:53:06 No.17019753 >>17019858 So I just lost my virginity to a transexual prostitute and I don't know if I should be proud I worked up the courage to, or ashamed of what went down >be me last night >2 weeks away from turning 21 >dont want to be that 21 year old who has never had sex >resolve myself to f--- a prostitute >realize this might be my only chance to live out my domination fantasy >tell her to just be real rough with me and dominate me, make me her slave >afraid she'd be weirded out but she seems happy >Exact words "It's not every day I get to dominate a virgin" >feel relaxed that she isn't repulsed by my virginity and think all will be okay >what follows is 20 minutes of extremely degrading and horrible sex followed by 10 minutes of humiliation >as soon as I get naked she pretty much rapes me for 20 minutes telling me what to do >it was not how I had pictured it >I was in so much pain both physically and emotionally but to afraid to her to stop >literally butt f----- for a good 10 minutes - pure agony >after she finished she jacked me off >originally planned to f--- a girl, but then came across this one listing >as far as trannys go shes a 9/10 >brazillian, proper t---, hot face, narrowish shoulders (only turn off was the big hands) >decide to just visit her since I've had a t----- fettish for years >as I get up to leave she pushes me back on the bed saying theres 10 minutes left >SHES THIS INTO DOMINATION >after downing some vodka for courage call her to make an appointment >30 minutes later I'm at her apartment >literally forces me to live on her bed and suck her balls for 10 minutes while she verbally abuses me >come home and cry myself to sleep >wake up, post this >Tell her this is my first time and asked if she could take the lead >she smiles and says sure "Just tell me what you're into" >pause Don't ever give into the t----- fettish robots, it's not worth it. Before this I could probably maybe pass as a normie sometimes, but now I am irreversibly emotionally damaged. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)17:59:19 No. 17019858► Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)17:57:11 No.17019822 >>17019841 File: 1422251274872.jpg (34 KB, 336x335) >>17019796 I can't. My ass still f------ hurts. I will never be able to forget that. F--- you to all the t----- trip f--- who promote a--- sex. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)17:57:57 No. 17019841 >>17019866 File: 1422406840411.jpg (47 KB, 499x499) >>17019822 Wait, so you got f----- BY the t-----? Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu) 18:04:00 No. 17019927 >>17020105 File: 1416645231837.png (283 KB, 546x432) Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:00:05 No. 17019866 >>17019888 >>17019890 >>17020415 >>17019841 Yes. By the time the ordeal started I had been completely cured of my t----- fettish, I just wanted it to be over, I had no desire to f--- her the moment she started abusing me. It is not how you picture kinky sex. It is horrible. SPOILERS Well OP, that's that. You got butt-f----- by a t-----. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:15:16 No. 17020105 ► >>17020121 File: 133859012087.jpg (19 KB, 274x350) Time to move on to bigger and better things, and hopefully not just more of them. >>17019927 doesn't sound like they could be much bigger than the t----- c--- he took Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu) 18:01:24 No. 17019888 >>17019952 >>17020127 le: 1424497645196.jpg (51 KB, 632x560) >>17019952 >>17019979 Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:11:27 No. 17020043 >>17020127 le: 1423835228337.png (280 KB, 402x506) Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:00:42 No.17019877 ► LOL >>17020113 Op you sound butthurt. LEWD! Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu) 18:25:06 No.17020258 >>17020284 File: Spoiler Image (25 KB, 350x350) >>17020258 >butthurt Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:05:37 No. 17019952 >>17019973 >>17020043 >>17020210 >>17019888 I had sex, so I am no longer a virgin. It doesn't matter if I didn't f--- her. Sex is sex. Also she jacked me off. >>17019866 Why didn't you just f--- the t-----? I don't think that getting f----- in the ass really counts as losing your virginity, sounds like you went through of it for nothing. Nah, I'm pretty sure you're still a virgin, a virgin who essentially paid to be r---- by a t-----. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:26:49 No. 17020284 ► File: 1420445143906.jpg (61 KB, 640x480) AD NET Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:18:12 No.17020149 >>17020181 >>17020197 >>17019753 (OP) The real question is how many dollars did you pay to have your a------ fissured to oblivion? Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:20:57 No. 17020197 >>17020213 >>17020233 >>17020242 >>17020149 I will answer you even though you are a d--- like some others here, incase a bro is actually curious. I paid $150 for 30 minutes. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:23:44 No. 17020233 File: 1421164982658.png (14 KB, 524x685) >>17019753 (OP) holy f------ s--- SHHH RELAX ANON >>17020197 >paid 150$ to get painfully r---- in the ass WE STILL HAVE 10 MINUTES Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu) 18:29:07 No. 17020323 ► OP literally got himself r---- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:29:21 No.17020329 ▸ How long till OP gets an a--- prolapse? Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu) 18:22:18 No. 17020213 ► File: 1424135568410.jpg (49 KB, 317x313) Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:17:53 No. 17020142 ► >>17020113 No, but you're not a girl. As a man you have to penetrate. >>17020090 you gave a gay man money to r--- you >>17020197 >$150 for 30 minutes. >$150 for 30 minutes. >$150 for 30 minutes. TOP KEK Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:18:11 No.17020148► >>17019753 (OP) A girl gets f----- in the ass to avoid losing her virginity sometimes, dude. You didn't lose your virginity. You got f----- in your ass and essentially r---- for no reason. You're still a f------ virgin, holy f------ s---. I'm screencapping, this is GOLD. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:14:35 No. 17020091 >not stretching your boipussy weeks in advance in preparation

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