Anon makes puddlesucker's day | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 02/11/19(Mon)11:15:07 No.792359077 >be me >gap year >work as nursery assistant at a home for mentally challenged (IQ>70) >one guy is very unintelligent >24 years old >IQ too low to learn how to speak >only says weird sounds >no friends >only hobby is to suck puddles dry >once tried sucking lake dry >puked multiple times >once all got sick from bad food >he didn't because of superior stomach from sucking puddles >one day the home gets a new manager >decides that puddlesucker cannot suck puddles anymore >puddlesucker gets very sad >one time I have the night shift >its raining >see puddlesucker stand by the window crying looking at the many delicious puddles >I open the door >puddlesucker runs outside faster than a 4chan user chasing an icecream truck >sucks on atleast 7 puddles >comes back >gives me big wet hug >mfw guy who doesn't even crack a smile when he sees his family after 2 months, gives me a hug

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon loses his virginity to a transsexual prostitute. | /r/Greentext

File: 17a.png (286 KB, 500x497) weird feels thread Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)17:53:06 No.17019753 >>17019858 So I just lost my virginity to a transexual prostitute and I don't know if I should be proud I worked up the courage to, or ashamed of what went down >be me last night >2 weeks away from turning 21 >dont want to be that 21 year old who has never had sex >resolve myself to f--- a prostitute >realize this might be my only chance to live out my domination fantasy >tell her to just be real rough with me and dominate me, make me her slave >afraid she'd be weirded out but she seems happy >Exact words "It's not every day I get to dominate a virgin" >feel relaxed that she isn't repulsed by my virginity and think all will be okay >what follows is 20 minutes of extremely degrading and horrible sex followed by 10 minutes of humiliation >as soon as I get naked she pretty much rapes me for 20 minutes telling me what to do >it was not how I had pictured it >I was in so much pain both physically and emotionally but to afraid to her to stop >literally butt f----- for a good 10 minutes - pure agony >after she finished she jacked me off >originally planned to f--- a girl, but then came across this one listing >as far as trannys go shes a 9/10 >brazillian, proper t---, hot face, narrowish shoulders (only turn off was the big hands) >decide to just visit her since I've had a t----- fettish for years >as I get up to leave she pushes me back on the bed saying theres 10 minutes left >SHES THIS INTO DOMINATION >after downing some vodka for courage call her to make an appointment >30 minutes later I'm at her apartment >literally forces me to live on her bed and suck her balls for 10 minutes while she verbally abuses me >come home and cry myself to sleep >wake up, post this >Tell her this is my first time and asked if she could take the lead >she smiles and says sure "Just tell me what you're into" >pause Don't ever give into the t----- fettish robots, it's not worth it. Before this I could probably maybe pass as a normie sometimes, but now I am irreversibly emotionally damaged. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)17:59:19 No. 17019858► Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)17:57:11 No.17019822 >>17019841 File: 1422251274872.jpg (34 KB, 336x335) >>17019796 I can't. My ass still f------ hurts. I will never be able to forget that. F--- you to all the t----- trip f--- who promote a--- sex. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)17:57:57 No. 17019841 >>17019866 File: 1422406840411.jpg (47 KB, 499x499) >>17019822 Wait, so you got f----- BY the t-----? Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu) 18:04:00 No. 17019927 >>17020105 File: 1416645231837.png (283 KB, 546x432) Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:00:05 No. 17019866 >>17019888 >>17019890 >>17020415 >>17019841 Yes. By the time the ordeal started I had been completely cured of my t----- fettish, I just wanted it to be over, I had no desire to f--- her the moment she started abusing me. It is not how you picture kinky sex. It is horrible. SPOILERS Well OP, that's that. You got butt-f----- by a t-----. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:15:16 No. 17020105 ► >>17020121 File: 133859012087.jpg (19 KB, 274x350) Time to move on to bigger and better things, and hopefully not just more of them. >>17019927 doesn't sound like they could be much bigger than the t----- c--- he took Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu) 18:01:24 No. 17019888 >>17019952 >>17020127 le: 1424497645196.jpg (51 KB, 632x560) >>17019952 >>17019979 Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:11:27 No. 17020043 >>17020127 le: 1423835228337.png (280 KB, 402x506) Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:00:42 No.17019877 ► LOL >>17020113 Op you sound butthurt. LEWD! Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu) 18:25:06 No.17020258 >>17020284 File: Spoiler Image (25 KB, 350x350) >>17020258 >butthurt Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:05:37 No. 17019952 >>17019973 >>17020043 >>17020210 >>17019888 I had sex, so I am no longer a virgin. It doesn't matter if I didn't f--- her. Sex is sex. Also she jacked me off. >>17019866 Why didn't you just f--- the t-----? I don't think that getting f----- in the ass really counts as losing your virginity, sounds like you went through of it for nothing. Nah, I'm pretty sure you're still a virgin, a virgin who essentially paid to be r---- by a t-----. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:26:49 No. 17020284 ► File: 1420445143906.jpg (61 KB, 640x480) AD NET Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:18:12 No.17020149 >>17020181 >>17020197 >>17019753 (OP) The real question is how many dollars did you pay to have your a------ fissured to oblivion? Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:20:57 No. 17020197 >>17020213 >>17020233 >>17020242 >>17020149 I will answer you even though you are a d--- like some others here, incase a bro is actually curious. I paid $150 for 30 minutes. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:23:44 No. 17020233 File: 1421164982658.png (14 KB, 524x685) >>17019753 (OP) holy f------ s--- SHHH RELAX ANON >>17020197 >paid 150$ to get painfully r---- in the ass WE STILL HAVE 10 MINUTES Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu) 18:29:07 No. 17020323 ► OP literally got himself r---- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:29:21 No.17020329 ▸ How long till OP gets an a--- prolapse? Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu) 18:22:18 No. 17020213 ► File: 1424135568410.jpg (49 KB, 317x313) Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:17:53 No. 17020142 ► >>17020113 No, but you're not a girl. As a man you have to penetrate. >>17020090 you gave a gay man money to r--- you >>17020197 >$150 for 30 minutes. >$150 for 30 minutes. >$150 for 30 minutes. TOP KEK Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:18:11 No.17020148► >>17019753 (OP) A girl gets f----- in the ass to avoid losing her virginity sometimes, dude. You didn't lose your virginity. You got f----- in your ass and essentially r---- for no reason. You're still a f------ virgin, holy f------ s---. I'm screencapping, this is GOLD. Anonymous 03/12/15(Thu)18:14:35 No. 17020091 >not stretching your boipussy weeks in advance in preparation

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Anon is japanese | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 01/09/13(Wed)05:25 No.7705372 Replies: >>7705394 >>7705398 >>7705406 >>7705476 >>7705524 >>7705545 >>7705579 >>7706318 Black people always criminal India people dirty looks criminal but make good curry South america people looks dirty but not many here. mexico food is good America people is ok, except marine and teacher. Europe people best white people good manners. Russia people is like black but wrong color by accident

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Idk if this has been posted before but its good | /r/Greentext

BOARDS /B/ Anonymous 716321829 /b/ 716313601 39% 8:47 PM /b/ 716320298 >Brother and I. >Check Craigslist when we're 19, year the 360 Elite came out. >Trying to find cheap launch 360's to nab up, since CoD babies are selling them for Elites. >Find a guy selling his for $110. >Meet at his apartment. >Dude seems okay, not a whole lot odd. >Brings out the Xbox, a couple games, and 2 controllers. >Says "F--- it, I'll take $10 off. It ain't even mine. It's my roomates. I recorded him f------ my girl, and they don't know it. I'm selling all their s--- off as revenge." >We're both like... "Holy f---, that blows. Is that his TV?" >He throws in a 32-inch widescreen for another $50. >Asks if we're hungry. 5 REPLIES 1 hr. ago >4 hours later, we've hit McDonalds, gotten drunk, and are playing pool at the local Billiards Hall. TL;DR: >We went to buy an Xbox. >Ended up with a bro for life. >Dude drops us his phone number incase we ever wanna hang out again. 10 years later, we were groomsmen at his wedding. Dude finished college 2 years after we met him, and makes 300k a year at a banking branch in SC. We still play video games and s--- over Discord. Best f------ Craigslist ad ever.

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Anon having a good time with their grandpa. | /r/Greentext

101 KB JPG >>457534108 (OP) # >Play Xenoblade Chronicles 2 >Play with Pyra as my main blade >My mom sees it >"Why does she look like that? Christ that's a bit sexist" >Grandpa comes in and says "Let him be a man, there's nothing wrong with it" >Mom decides to forget it >Grandpa asks me to do lewd moves to see her ass I love my grandpa, sometimes I wish I could transform into Pyra and let him f--- me

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Anon dad.. | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/28/22(Sat)03:43:39 No.68811440 >be me >white >dad is pretty against racemixing >don't care >want to show him something I found online 22 KB JPG >forgot my phone >he gives me his >several searches for Asian women in his autofill

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Anon notices something | /r/Greentext

Yes. 243 KB PNG >>401820109 # : Anonymous (ID: mpx+ZiUP) Barbara Lerner Spectre Founder of The European Institute for Jewish Studies in Sweden >>401817948 (OP) # >im starting to dislike the jews 10/27/22(Thu)23:51:48 No.40181850 41 Barbara L Spectre @Barbara_Spectre UUDELLEENTWIITTAUKSET SUOSIKIT 21 I think there is a resurgence of anti-Semitism because at this point in time Europe has not yet learned how to be multicultural. And I think we are going to be part of the throes of that transformation, which must take place. Europe is not going to be the monolithic societies they once were in the last century. Jews are going to be at the centre of that. It's a huge transformation for Europe to make. They are now going into a multicultural mode and Jews will be resented because of our leading role. But without that leading role and without that transformation, Europe will not survive. @MajorFredS Israel is a tiny nation with only 8 million people. We can't take too many immigrants since we depend too, much on aid as it is. Näytä käännös Seuraa

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anon is a javascript programmer | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 2.43 MB GIF 10/09/22(Sun)05:22:49 No.27461455 >go to library to study >qt3.14 college girl sits directly across me despite many other seats >can feel her glances >see her twirling her hair constantly >say nothing, just continue to write javascript >she leaves after a few hours Why do I blow every single opportunity? Oh well, it was probably all in my head and she would've been creeped out if I said anything.

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Anon is a tangerine | /r/Greentext

1404489014866(1).jpg 87 KB JPG masta wayne I turned myself into a tangerine im tangerine alfred

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anon is the annihilator of civilizations | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Ant holocaust 50 KB JPG 10/27/22(Thu)23:04:22 No.888081199 >be me >fat, used to eat food and leave the wrappers around >one day notice a few ants >dispatch them and think nothing of it >come back 10 hours later >little black colonizers n------ all over my wall >spray the f------ with bleach >next day >they're back and even more of the f------ >decide its enough >buy pesticide >mix it into a bottle cap of peanut butter and honey >a few hours later see what could be millions of microscopic f------ making their way to my concoction >itbegins.jpg >the f------ chow down >Eventually start dropping like ants >a mountain of ant corpses falls onto the ground around it looking like little soldiers who died for no reason >see some f------ retreating to home base carrying the prize >the little idiots don't know what they're doing >Eventually follow the trail and see corpses scattered around a microscopic hole in the corner >days later no ants >the little idiots wiped themselves off the face of the earth >tfw you slaughtered an entire civilization who were living in your walls >tfw you realize you're gonna have to clean this up >tfw they come back weeks later I'm actually gonna f------ kill myself.

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Anon does a little trolling | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/05/21(Sun)14:53:17 No.862471130 >be me, 36 and divorced >still pretty good friends with ex, relationship just didn't work out >at mutual friend's party >she introduces me to her new bf >he knows our history >talk to him about some b------- until ex walks off to get a drink or something >idea.jpg >kinda whisper to him >"Next time you're doing it doggy as she starts to get close, she LOVES when you push your thumb into her ass. She'll c-- hard every time" >further explain to do it with no warning and whole thumb >fast forward a week >kinda forgot about it >ex calls me out of the blue >raging p----- at me >apparently he tried it, pushed all the way up to the knuckle right when she was on the edge, and kept it there when she yelped thinking she was enjoying it >she asked where in the world he got the terrible idea to do that Laughed my t--- off for two days straight. 10 KB JPG

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Coming soon to theatres near you | /r/Greentext

No. 176108291 1 hour ago whale.jpg JPG 52.7 KiB 504x462 >Whale women have their own Disney movie about shoving too much food in their mouth. I bet there will be scenes where she eats nothing but a small salad and gains weight 25 replies No. 176108354 1 hour ago Taco Belle 6 replies

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Anon is a surgeon | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/01/18(Sat)11:58 >be me >surgeon >35 hour operation >do it perfectly with no mistakes everyone thanks god

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