Anon was betrayed on his birthday | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous 73 KB JPG 09/28/22(Wed)21:26:08 No.70390033 10 Replies >turn 30 >Never have real gf, not good with women >meet cute girl at the bar >we hit it off >never have luck with women, cant believe it >step away for a moment, drunk guy says my friend is in trouble, hes just drunk and stupid >come back to see that my other friend swoops in and starts flirting with her >look her up on facebook tonight, he already added her as a friend On my birthday? I cant get one girl, just one night? Are other peoples friends like that? Dont know why it bothers me so much. I think its just that I wouldnt do that to him, and that he would do it to me on my birthday hurts my feelings View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Carlos opens the pipe | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: YABptBtj) Jack Posobiec XLV @JackPosobiec 1 day ago RadioGenova @RadioGenova - Sep 26 Thousands of people in Gera in Germany against Olaf Scholz's policy and the explosion of energy and gas prices. They demand an end to sanctions on Russia and the reopening of the Nord Stream 2 gas pipeline. Demonstrations also in other German cities but EU media censors them. 399.2K views 09/28/22(Wed)06:05:24 No.397297559 6:07 PM Sep 27, 2022- Twitter for iPhone NORDSTREAM 2 AUF! GASUMLAGE WEG! 1,027 Retweets 24 Quote Tweets 3,098 Likes : Anonymous (ID: E3jFYi22 35 KB JPG GetFuckedGermans.jpg 116 KB JPG >Germans: "Please! The energy prices are too high! Re- open the Nordstream pipelines!" >USA: "Lol Imao Imfao." 0:00 / 0:28 09/28/22(Wed)06:45:56 No.397301765 > You said open the pipe, so I opened the pipe! >>397302537 # >>397304429 # >>397304608 # >>397305442 # >>397306969 # >>397307598 # >>397307692 # >>397307940 # >>397308431 # >>397308762 #

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Is life a simulation? | /r/Greentext

128,0 kB PNG >playing a single player shooter game >spend the entire playthrough hoarding all the primo ammo types and never using them >only use the s-------- weapons and ammo because "I might need the good stuff later" >complete the final mission >suddenly realize I got through the whole game without ever having fun with the coolest weapons in it >realize I'm doing the same thing with my actual life

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Anon's autism kicks in | /r/Greentext

>go to work >see back door is pried open >see safe is broken open and the money's gone >get scared and don't know what to do 64 KB JPG >manager finally comes into work >OH MY GOD ANON WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL THE COPS >say I was scared and didn't know if it was worth bothering them about >AAAAAAAAA WE HAVE TO CALL THE COPS >cops come and they talk with the manager >for some reason they want to talk to me >they want me to give them my address for some reason >get scared that they think I might be a suspect >give them a fake address >they ask me more questions about my work >get scared and blurt out I DIDN'T DO IT >he writes something into his notepad and says he'll talk to me later >manager mad at me for some reason and wants me to go home >tfw realize I'm now a suspect >tfw might go to jail and get r---- for something I didn't do Should I just commit suicide to avoid the trouble?

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Anon does not like boring YouTubers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 KB JPG 05/20/22(Fri)23:48:11 No.68714289 >hey guys it's critical >today we are taking yet another clip from my live stream of me watching a youtube video that somebody else made and getting a million views for what little I add in words with my boring dry tired voice >also, for comedic effect, I will stretch the image on the youtube thumbnail for the billionth time >please laugh

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Not all heroes wear capes | /r/Greentext

Megalon3.png 85 KB PNG >go to a club in vrchat >a huge t---- dragon girl and a cat girl are groping each other and kissing >a f------ dude runs over as this guy >screams 'I AM MEGALON' >crashes the map

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Anon is going to a bar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 19 KB PNG 09/28/22(Wed)09:59:59 No.70383293 >26 got new jobby job 2 months ago after 10 years neet >8pm >need to get up at 6 tomorrow for college >there's a female there who i havent interacted with before because she work in a remote office >she's 20 and hubba hubba >havent talked to a female in literally over a decade, mom dead sister ghosted me >havent been to a bar so i dont know what beer to ask for f--- i hate life 3 Replies >have to go to bar with collyigues in 3 hours View Thread

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anon goes biking | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 82 KB JPG 09/28/22(Wed)13:25:05 No.70383536 >be me yesterday >riding bike in the dark >almost hit a guy taking out his trash "Turn your flashlight on!" "I don't have one!" "Get one!" >yea sure, tf am I gonna need a flashligh for anyway? >crash into pole a few minutes later >mfw 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Green Text and Ham | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/03/21 (Sun)20:40:20 No.5177032 >>5177059 >>5177421 >>5177648 >>5178167 >You WILL eat them in a box >You WILL eat them with a fox >You WILL eat them in a house >You WILL eat them with a mouse >You WILL eat them here or there >YOU WILL EAT THEM EVERYWHERE

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Anon's pussy doesn't like pussy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 16 KB JPG 09/21/22(Wed)11:23:16 No.7029802 >A female cat had to stay with me for a few hours today >My cat was visibly stressed out >He retreated into a corner and hissed at her until she left him alone He is literally me

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Anon is from the Land of Freedom (and cars) | /r/Greentext

Average Day in the Life of an (...) C 127 KB JPG 08/21/22(Sun)11:19:56 No.391967036 >Wake up in termite infested apartment >Pray to American flag for good fortune >Text from my boss says I have to come in for unpaid overtime because he's understaffed >Can't have breakfast because my landlord drank the last of the milk >Leaving the apartment I see a notice from the Hoa saying I will be fined if I don't put up my Official Coca-Cola™ Frosty the Snowman™ Light- Up Inflatable Christmas Decoration TM >Love that community spitit >Can't take my car to work because it got repossessed after I missed the 300th monthly installment of $499.99 >Cant walk to work because it's illegal >Have to take my wife's boyfriend's bicycle instead >On the way I see a woman shovelling dead children out of the local school >"Again?" I ask >She shrugs and says "Shall not be infringed." >As I'm turning onto 6379.53rd Street, I get driven off the road by a five (imperial) ton pickup truck billowing black smoke >A man wearing a camouflage shirt, camouflage cargo pants, camouflage boots, camouflage gloves and a camouflage cap with a camouflage American flag on it leans out of the window >"THE ROAD IS FOR CARS, F-----!" >Thank him for his service >An old woman finds me lying in a pool of my own blood >I beg her not to call an ambulance, but she doesn't seek English >Half way to the hospital they realise I don't have insurance and they kick me out on the freeway >Tip them with the $300 I keep on my person at all times >Crawl the rest of the way to the hospital >Don't have any money left to tip the doctors, so they spit in my IV >Get a text from my boss saying I'm fired because I missed the morning cheer >Nurse hands me a bill for $3,000,000 and a month's free trial of Opiodol™ >Salute the American flag on the way out >Get shot by the police for moving my hand too quickly >Thank Jesus that I was born in the only free country in the world

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Anon will never cook for bitches again | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon)08:47:45 No.18372420 >>18369691 # Not cooking for bitches ever again, they all talk how they like cooking then bitch when I have them peel potatoes for dinner. >OHH lets just order pizza and f--- till it come teheheh F---. OFF.

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Annon is a ladies man | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 38 KB JPG 09/28/22(Wed)12:08:17 No.68476143 >be me >In class >qt nearby >She jokingly takes a fighting stance (invisible lat syndrome" and says "I'll be at you up" >Reply "haha I'll kill you" >She never speaks to me again

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