Anon is going to a bar | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous 19 KB PNG 09/28/22(Wed)09:59:59 No.70383293 >26 got new jobby job 2 months ago after 10 years neet >8pm >need to get up at 6 tomorrow for college >there's a female there who i havent interacted with before because she work in a remote office >she's 20 and hubba hubba >havent talked to a female in literally over a decade, mom dead sister ghosted me >havent been to a bar so i dont know what beer to ask for f--- i hate life 3 Replies >have to go to bar with collyigues in 3 hours View Thread

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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anon goes biking | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 82 KB JPG 09/28/22(Wed)13:25:05 No.70383536 >be me yesterday >riding bike in the dark >almost hit a guy taking out his trash "Turn your flashlight on!" "I don't have one!" "Get one!" >yea sure, tf am I gonna need a flashligh for anyway? >crash into pole a few minutes later >mfw 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Green Text and Ham | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/03/21 (Sun)20:40:20 No.5177032 >>5177059 >>5177421 >>5177648 >>5178167 >You WILL eat them in a box >You WILL eat them with a fox >You WILL eat them in a house >You WILL eat them with a mouse >You WILL eat them here or there >YOU WILL EAT THEM EVERYWHERE

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Anon's pussy doesn't like pussy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 16 KB JPG 09/21/22(Wed)11:23:16 No.7029802 >A female cat had to stay with me for a few hours today >My cat was visibly stressed out >He retreated into a corner and hissed at her until she left him alone He is literally me

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Anon is from the Land of Freedom (and cars) | /r/Greentext

Average Day in the Life of an (...) C 127 KB JPG 08/21/22(Sun)11:19:56 No.391967036 >Wake up in termite infested apartment >Pray to American flag for good fortune >Text from my boss says I have to come in for unpaid overtime because he's understaffed >Can't have breakfast because my landlord drank the last of the milk >Leaving the apartment I see a notice from the Hoa saying I will be fined if I don't put up my Official Coca-Cola™ Frosty the Snowman™ Light- Up Inflatable Christmas Decoration TM >Love that community spitit >Can't take my car to work because it got repossessed after I missed the 300th monthly installment of $499.99 >Cant walk to work because it's illegal >Have to take my wife's boyfriend's bicycle instead >On the way I see a woman shovelling dead children out of the local school >"Again?" I ask >She shrugs and says "Shall not be infringed." >As I'm turning onto 6379.53rd Street, I get driven off the road by a five (imperial) ton pickup truck billowing black smoke >A man wearing a camouflage shirt, camouflage cargo pants, camouflage boots, camouflage gloves and a camouflage cap with a camouflage American flag on it leans out of the window >"THE ROAD IS FOR CARS, F-----!" >Thank him for his service >An old woman finds me lying in a pool of my own blood >I beg her not to call an ambulance, but she doesn't seek English >Half way to the hospital they realise I don't have insurance and they kick me out on the freeway >Tip them with the $300 I keep on my person at all times >Crawl the rest of the way to the hospital >Don't have any money left to tip the doctors, so they spit in my IV >Get a text from my boss saying I'm fired because I missed the morning cheer >Nurse hands me a bill for $3,000,000 and a month's free trial of Opiodol™ >Salute the American flag on the way out >Get shot by the police for moving my hand too quickly >Thank Jesus that I was born in the only free country in the world

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Anon will never cook for bitches again | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon)08:47:45 No.18372420 >>18369691 # Not cooking for bitches ever again, they all talk how they like cooking then bitch when I have them peel potatoes for dinner. >OHH lets just order pizza and f--- till it come teheheh F---. OFF.

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Annon is a ladies man | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 38 KB JPG 09/28/22(Wed)12:08:17 No.68476143 >be me >In class >qt nearby >She jokingly takes a fighting stance (invisible lat syndrome" and says "I'll be at you up" >Reply "haha I'll kill you" >She never speaks to me again

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Anon is parented by 4chan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 23 KB JPG 09/28/22(Wed)06:27:10 No.886402330 >be me >neet who stays up late watching movies and browsing 4chan >go outside at 2 am to get some fresh air >see a girl -- around 20 years old walking on my street alone >remember a post I saw on 4chan saying to chase girls at night >idea.jpg >start walking the same direction as her on the other side of the street >cross over to her side >she keeps looking over her shoulder at me >I speed up >she speeds up >I start to jog >she starts to sprint >she trips and takes a pretty nasty fall >she starts to cry >I run back to my house >my heart is racing for the next two hours >felt good >will do it again if the opportunity presents itself 21 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon gets touched by a female | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 66 KB PNG 09/28/22(Wed)19:15:02 No.70381626 >don't shower for a week >balls and d--- start to smell horrid >rub money on my balls and d--- >go to mall where I know the cashiers are female >pay >female touched my balls and d--- What's something DEVILISH that you do, Anon? 18 Replies / 7 Images View Thread

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Anons discuss the video game industry | /r/Greentext

= > ("•A•)/ REPENTHOUSE LUCIFER wwtwile AMERAY LAVINE WITH URSELF 795M Fibery 09/28/22(Wed)04:14:08 No.886398641 >>886398059 (OP) # 76 KB JPG >Dad loses home on Gambling addiction >Vow to never be addicted or gamble ever. >30 years later. : Anonymous >Be the 90s >Jim plays vidya with his Dad >Dad gambles money on scratch tickets. >Making vidya with gambling in it >spend real money for fake token >re-release the game every year (20XX) >E.E E... ITS IN THE GAME 170 KB GIF >EVENTUALLY YOU'LL NEED TO LOOTBOX THE START MENU. 09/28/22(Wed)04:14:12 No.886398643 >>886398059 (OP) # GTA 6 will be the last GTA Rockstar makes. >2 billion dollar budget(GTA 5=250 Million) >developed since 2014 >New city added every year(DLC) ppl will play this 20yrs

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Anon-kun and his imouto | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 11 KB JPG 09/27/22 (Tue) 22:18:16 No.27393068 >drunk party with friends and they stayed at my house >we spend the night drinking and playing stupid games >we got bold and we began to make íntimate questions to each other. >"Hey bro, have you ever felt attracted to t-----'s? No?" >"What p--- do you watch" "Are you still in love with your ex" >At some point a friend confessed a major secret >It was my turn to tell a secret >"Ive lusted after my little sister ever since she reached teenage, thats why i enjoy her hugs so much" >we start laughing and we continued playing our little games. Today at morning they left and i had breakfast with my family. Everyone acted normal but my sister looked distant, like if she were disgusted or angry. Every time i tried to start a conversation she looked at the wall and evaded the talk. I think she probably overheard something. I'm getting paranoid. Did i just destroyed my entire relationship with my sister? We have always been close. I can't ask her directly, it's too akward, i'm afraid that if i say something like "is everything ok?" She will snap at me. Maybe it's something else, maybe she did not overheard anything, but i'm paranoid and afraid. I don't know what to do.

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Anon collects | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/27/19(Sat)00:31:16 No.798335037 23 KB JPG >be me >have a pretty s-----, boring day >feels sucky >go home >look at rock and mineral collection >feel happier instantly Thank you rock and mineral collection

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Anon tries to prove the existence of Finns. | /r/Greentext

Perkele!! There are allegedly around 6.5 million Finns, right? That's out of a 7.125 billion humans. That means Finns make up .0912% of the planet. That's not 9%-that's point zero nine percent, less than a percent, less than a tenth of a percent. To put that another way, 99.9% of the planet are not Finns. How do we know this? Government censuses. Now, the best government censuses have a margin of error of at least 1%. So Finns make up .0912% of the planet, plus or minus one percent. In conclusion: there is a 50/50 chance Finland doesn't exist.

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