Is life a simulation? | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

128,0 kB PNG >playing a single player shooter game >spend the entire playthrough hoarding all the primo ammo types and never using them >only use the s-------- weapons and ammo because "I might need the good stuff later" >complete the final mission >suddenly realize I got through the whole game without ever having fun with the coolest weapons in it >realize I'm doing the same thing with my actual life

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon's autism kicks in | /r/Greentext

>go to work >see back door is pried open >see safe is broken open and the money's gone >get scared and don't know what to do 64 KB JPG >manager finally comes into work >OH MY GOD ANON WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL THE COPS >say I was scared and didn't know if it was worth bothering them about >AAAAAAAAA WE HAVE TO CALL THE COPS >cops come and they talk with the manager >for some reason they want to talk to me >they want me to give them my address for some reason >get scared that they think I might be a suspect >give them a fake address >they ask me more questions about my work >get scared and blurt out I DIDN'T DO IT >he writes something into his notepad and says he'll talk to me later >manager mad at me for some reason and wants me to go home >tfw realize I'm now a suspect >tfw might go to jail and get r---- for something I didn't do Should I just commit suicide to avoid the trouble?

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Anon does not like boring YouTubers | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 KB JPG 05/20/22(Fri)23:48:11 No.68714289 >hey guys it's critical >today we are taking yet another clip from my live stream of me watching a youtube video that somebody else made and getting a million views for what little I add in words with my boring dry tired voice >also, for comedic effect, I will stretch the image on the youtube thumbnail for the billionth time >please laugh

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Not all heroes wear capes | /r/Greentext

Megalon3.png 85 KB PNG >go to a club in vrchat >a huge t---- dragon girl and a cat girl are groping each other and kissing >a f------ dude runs over as this guy >screams 'I AM MEGALON' >crashes the map

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Anon is going to a bar | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 19 KB PNG 09/28/22(Wed)09:59:59 No.70383293 >26 got new jobby job 2 months ago after 10 years neet >8pm >need to get up at 6 tomorrow for college >there's a female there who i havent interacted with before because she work in a remote office >she's 20 and hubba hubba >havent talked to a female in literally over a decade, mom dead sister ghosted me >havent been to a bar so i dont know what beer to ask for f--- i hate life 3 Replies >have to go to bar with collyigues in 3 hours View Thread

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anon goes biking | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 82 KB JPG 09/28/22(Wed)13:25:05 No.70383536 >be me yesterday >riding bike in the dark >almost hit a guy taking out his trash "Turn your flashlight on!" "I don't have one!" "Get one!" >yea sure, tf am I gonna need a flashligh for anyway? >crash into pole a few minutes later >mfw 2 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Green Text and Ham | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 10/03/21 (Sun)20:40:20 No.5177032 >>5177059 >>5177421 >>5177648 >>5178167 >You WILL eat them in a box >You WILL eat them with a fox >You WILL eat them in a house >You WILL eat them with a mouse >You WILL eat them here or there >YOU WILL EAT THEM EVERYWHERE

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Anon's pussy doesn't like pussy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 16 KB JPG 09/21/22(Wed)11:23:16 No.7029802 >A female cat had to stay with me for a few hours today >My cat was visibly stressed out >He retreated into a corner and hissed at her until she left him alone He is literally me

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Anon is from the Land of Freedom (and cars) | /r/Greentext

Average Day in the Life of an (...) C 127 KB JPG 08/21/22(Sun)11:19:56 No.391967036 >Wake up in termite infested apartment >Pray to American flag for good fortune >Text from my boss says I have to come in for unpaid overtime because he's understaffed >Can't have breakfast because my landlord drank the last of the milk >Leaving the apartment I see a notice from the Hoa saying I will be fined if I don't put up my Official Coca-Cola™ Frosty the Snowman™ Light- Up Inflatable Christmas Decoration TM >Love that community spitit >Can't take my car to work because it got repossessed after I missed the 300th monthly installment of $499.99 >Cant walk to work because it's illegal >Have to take my wife's boyfriend's bicycle instead >On the way I see a woman shovelling dead children out of the local school >"Again?" I ask >She shrugs and says "Shall not be infringed." >As I'm turning onto 6379.53rd Street, I get driven off the road by a five (imperial) ton pickup truck billowing black smoke >A man wearing a camouflage shirt, camouflage cargo pants, camouflage boots, camouflage gloves and a camouflage cap with a camouflage American flag on it leans out of the window >"THE ROAD IS FOR CARS, F-----!" >Thank him for his service >An old woman finds me lying in a pool of my own blood >I beg her not to call an ambulance, but she doesn't seek English >Half way to the hospital they realise I don't have insurance and they kick me out on the freeway >Tip them with the $300 I keep on my person at all times >Crawl the rest of the way to the hospital >Don't have any money left to tip the doctors, so they spit in my IV >Get a text from my boss saying I'm fired because I missed the morning cheer >Nurse hands me a bill for $3,000,000 and a month's free trial of Opiodol™ >Salute the American flag on the way out >Get shot by the police for moving my hand too quickly >Thank Jesus that I was born in the only free country in the world

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Anon will never cook for bitches again | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/19/22 (Mon)08:47:45 No.18372420 >>18369691 # Not cooking for bitches ever again, they all talk how they like cooking then bitch when I have them peel potatoes for dinner. >OHH lets just order pizza and f--- till it come teheheh F---. OFF.

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Annon is a ladies man | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 38 KB JPG 09/28/22(Wed)12:08:17 No.68476143 >be me >In class >qt nearby >She jokingly takes a fighting stance (invisible lat syndrome" and says "I'll be at you up" >Reply "haha I'll kill you" >She never speaks to me again

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Anon is parented by 4chan | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 23 KB JPG 09/28/22(Wed)06:27:10 No.886402330 >be me >neet who stays up late watching movies and browsing 4chan >go outside at 2 am to get some fresh air >see a girl -- around 20 years old walking on my street alone >remember a post I saw on 4chan saying to chase girls at night >idea.jpg >start walking the same direction as her on the other side of the street >cross over to her side >she keeps looking over her shoulder at me >I speed up >she speeds up >I start to jog >she starts to sprint >she trips and takes a pretty nasty fall >she starts to cry >I run back to my house >my heart is racing for the next two hours >felt good >will do it again if the opportunity presents itself 21 Replies / 1 Image View Thread

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Anon gets touched by a female | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 66 KB PNG 09/28/22(Wed)19:15:02 No.70381626 >don't shower for a week >balls and d--- start to smell horrid >rub money on my balls and d--- >go to mall where I know the cashiers are female >pay >female touched my balls and d--- What's something DEVILISH that you do, Anon? 18 Replies / 7 Images View Thread

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