anon's mom is a gigachad | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

: Anonymous Mom learned to dab 70 KB PNG 05/18/18(Fri)23:15:58 No.4550017 >27 and still at home >No job >No driver's license >Mom does her weekly ritual of coming into my room and telling me I need to find a job >Usually tell her to shut the f--- up and leave me alone because it stresses me out and angers me >Try it again this time >She dabs >Ask her what the f--- she's doing >She says I need to find a job within the next three months or I'm out on my own >Start crying >She dabs again >Everytime I ask for something or try to get her to see my side she dabs on me without saying anything

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon goes to Disneyland | /r/Greentext

RUME Getting Picture with Rey at Disney World Anonymous 07/01/22(Fri)19:23:25 No.170428040 ► >>170428131 >be me and plan trip to Disney's Hollywood Studios with goal to get picture with Rey >pay $150 plus tip for ticket >make beeline to Galaxys Edge at ropedrop >wait an hour in line to get picture with rey >Chad in front puts arm around her and gets picture taken >I decide to do the same thing >when I try to put arm around her she instantly backs away >-get picture taken with me a safe space apart What's wrong with me?

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Anon evaluates politics | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 233 KB JPG 09/20/22(Tue)09:18:33 No.70277282 >periodically evaluate my beliefs to grow as a person >stumble upon socialism and communism >realize that capitalism hates me and wants me to die because I'm not a good worker and a loser why did I unironically ever support an idea so against me? 7 Replies / 2 Images View Thread

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anons gas station experience | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 1.35 MB GIF 04/09/22(Sat)08:36:50 No.875971279 >be me >end up at gas station in b------ nowhere while traveling through the Midwest >ugliest man I've ever seen approaches my car >starts asking me questions >where am I going, what do I do for work etc >talk to him for a bit a see a retarded man running out one door and into another >he's fat and balding and has food stains all down his shirt >the man yells "Goddammit Gene I told you not go go in there" >hear a bunch of s--- breaking in the door retard went into >fat lady the size of my car comes waddling out with a stick >chases Gene out >Gene is now naked >Gene sees me and cannot comprehend his excitement to f--- up my day >starts moaning while bolting straight for me >I am in absolute disbelief and freeze because I'm trying to process this >I grab a windshield squeegee to hit him with >Gene spooks and runs off into the sunset >guy and lady get in truck to go after him >They don't come back >go inside and help myself to a bag of jerky and an Arizona tea and get in my car >cop pulls up and says "is it Gene again?" >I say yeah >cops radios "It's Gene" >takes off full speed already knowing which direction to go >how many times has this happened

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anon gets stimulated when he hears jew | /r/Greentext

Anonymous (ID: (siP43y8W) = This site has f----- my brain,(...) 372 KB PNG 09/19/22 (Mon)14:17:25 No.396008300 >this moment i realised i f----- up i hope she did not notice that >i was at university >one of my fellow student has a jewish sounding name >i asked if she was jewish or not >she said yes >i started rub my hand as soon as i heard Anonymous (ID: OLOq2ryM) >>396008820 # Maybe you should learn to think for yourself and not be such an immature little screwball. 09/19/22 (Mon)14:18:51 No.396008485 >>396009051 # Anonymous (ID: (siP43y8W) = 09/19/22 (Mon)14:22:01 No.396008820 >>396008485 # i did it unconsciously, it is like conditional reflex when i get stimulated, in this case, it is whenever i heard the word jew

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Anon posts the frog | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 61 KB JPG 12/13/20(Sun)18:54:51 No.61363850 >I post the frog >they see the frog and get mad >they say mean things to me >I get sad >i want to feel happy again >frog makes me happy >I post the frog

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anon doesn't want to be quoted | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 51 KB JPG 09/19/22(Mon)14:11:35 No.885894497 >Don't f------ quote me!

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Anon believes a greater conspiracy | /r/Greentext

File: 1634405914405.png (73 KB, 427x400) CIA Anonymous 11/01/21 (Mon)16:59:30 No.5355696 >>5356713 >>5357245 >Zebras are NOT just painted horses >zookeepers are NOT CIA horse painters >they are REAL and NEAT animals that use their stripes to dazzle predators. >Do NOT go to the zoo and ask to see the horse painting station. You will never get Jaid if you do this

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anon meets fat people | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous No.885894339 It's usually fat and/or ugly women. Attractive girls will sperg out if they feel rejected in any way, but the fatties and the uggos do it the most. >break up with a girl >don't see anyone for a while because I wasn't ready to date again yet 09/19/22(Mon)14:09:00 >eventually start hooking up with a classmate >very tall, fat but most of it was in her ass, legs and boobs, ginger, kind of a butterface >says she just broke up with someone and doesn't wanna date >cool >ff a week or so, she starts being bitchier and bitchier >eventually tell her I don't want to sleep with each other anymore >she freaks out, yells in my face, throws some s--- around in my room, and storms down the hall >I heard her pause and turn around at the end of the hall, but I didn't go after her so she kept stomping until she was gone >blocks me on everything >ff a month or so >started seeing a nice girl from the gym >ragebitch unblocks me on everything >starts messaging me about how sad she is that nobody wants to go to her graduation party >I showed up out of pity, hoping she could be normal >she wound up trying to kiss me in the parking lot, told her no, she blows up again

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Anon has a lucid dream | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 83 KB JPG 09/19/22 (Mon)19:23:29 No.70273239 >be me this morning >have dream, am in our old apartment >realize it's dream >need to f--- someone then >have a moment of hesitation >"what if no dream afterall?" >"no it's def a dream les go" >manage to open the door to go f--- the hot neighbour >ofc some noise wakes me up >go back to sleep >am in same old apartment again >don't realize I'm dreaming >go watch some strange p--- on my computer >c-- after less than a minute >forget about it, dream something else >wake up >mfw j----- my pants Why am I this retarded bros?

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Femanon wants attention | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous Fembot Feels 44 KB GIF 09/19/22 (Mon)14:01:57 No.70273624 >be me >19 year old girl >been in a relationship since 9th grade with a boy who I am/was planning to marry next year >a classmate told me on Valentine's that he likes me >I told him that I have a fiance but that we can be friends >I develop feelings for this guy despite myself >first time I've had eyes for anyone besides my boyfriend during our five years together >we start romancing and courting each other in April but I don't officially date him because I don't know if I want to leave my current relationship >no sex, only kisses and snuggles >two months ago I made a new friend in a class who I've quickly fallen in love with >I feel for him so strongly that I've lost almost all interest in my other classmate >fiance is freaking out because I've grown more and more distant throughout the year and speak to him less and less >Classmate 1 is getting mad at me because in July I was THIS close to leaving my partner for him, then I met this other guy and my feelings subsided >tldr I'm poison, I destroy everything and everyone I touch, I'm awful, the stress is destroying me, 2022 is a weird year. AMA

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Anon shares a link | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 802 KB GIF 1 Reply 04/04/22(Mon) 20:07:25 No.875707823 Hey guys, there's this really cool website I found. It's called 4chan. You're gonna love it. https://www.4chan.org/ View Thread : Anonymous >>875707823 (OP) # I don't like it. 04/04/22(Mon) 20:10:02 No.875707947

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Which option would you choose and why? | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 8 424 KB PNG 05/12/22(Thu)02:54:25 No.87798 >"I f----- your mom last night!" >"My mom is dead." You have several options, anon. >1. "Oh, sorry about that man." >2. "Yeah, cuz I f----- her to death." Which one do you choose and why?

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