Anon is too smart | /r/Greentext | Greentext Stories | Know Your Meme

Anonymous University Harem 37 KB PNG 04/23/22(Sat)14:29:51 No.68341642 >Be accepted at Uni >File form for student residency >See "for the purpose of placing you, please check your gender:" >Male >Female >Non-binary >Check female, even tho that's not true >Apply for the female dorm >Get accepted >Be the only guy in the women's dorm >basically got my own personal harem >it's that simple

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File: democratic party USA.png (47 KB, 1050x1024) For my r/greentext lurkers Anonymous (ID: S+5L+4sx 11/08/24(Fri)11:46:43 No.487728217 ► > base worldview on explictly hating men, white people, religious people, traditional people, conservative people, cisgender heterosexual people, rural people, etc > base worldview on telling blacks and immigrants that the only way they can hope to aspire to anything in life is by being uplifted by a white savior and their DEI programs > continuously alienate the above groups by dismissing all their concerns (caused by your direct insults and condemnations) as fascism, toxicity, fragility > continuously deny any outlet for dialogue/dissent on media/social media/campuses > continuously produce culture that alienates these groups further (like how in all modern remakes/reboots beloved male characters get blacked, gender swapped or turned into alcoholic p------) > alienate corporations by making them lose loads of money because you forced them under threat of cancellation to adopt your rhetoric > literally kill yourself when the above people vote against you I'm not even going to ask if they're retarded because I know the answer.

Anonymous 30 KB JPG Scrabble 11/07/24(Thu)22:49:06 No.927102124 >masculinity so fragile >Now let me call you a Nazi, some of the most deranged and brutal psychopaths to walk the earth >Demolished in a land slide election >Cries into phone for 30 min on social media using the most pedantic and esoteric psychobabble cooked up by a lobotomized ape having a epileptic fit during a game of WE ARE GOOD AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS, WHY DON'T YOU AGREE, NAZI

: Anonymous 84 KB JPG 04/16/22(Sat)20:52:07 No.876397732 Heard joke once >"Man goes to doctor. >Says he's an incel. >Says life seems harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone, no gf. > Doctor says, 'Treatment is simple. >Ryan Gosling is in town tonight. > Go and see him. >That should pick you up. >Man bursts into tears. >Says, But doctor... he's literally me"

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Anon fucks up the family dinner | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/03/22(Sat) 22:21:31 No.170333197 >having dinner >mum talking about her new dress >jokingly tell her "it makes you look like you're built for BBC" >sister spits out her drink laughing >mum doesn't get it at first, then becomes fuming >>170333238 # >>170333239 # >>170333249 # >>170333303 # >>170333319 # >>170333342 # >>170333466 #

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Anon is the least racist 4channer | /r/Greentext

MY SIDES 47 KB JPG Let me tell you a story Anons that happened a little while ago. >be in school >school is in québec >liberal as f--- >inb4 québecfag >f------ deal with it >class is discussing multiverse theory >teacher is an annoying leftie hippie >try my best to ignore them and read my book >teacher mentions "if the mutliverse theory is true, there's an universe where hitler is right". >immediately say out loud "well duh it's this one". >whole class gets silent >look at me

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anon describes patriarchy | /r/Greentext

Anonymous Madami 126042391 11 min. ago >Can't be sent to prison. >Can't be drafted. >Given the right to vote w/o any stake in national consequences. >Is legally allowed to murder chrilden and celebrated for it. >Allowed to wear whatever they want in public while persecuting anyone else who wears something they don't like >Automatically presumed in 80%+ of instances to be the preferred guardian for kids. >Entitled to half her husbands wealth even if she is at fault for the marriage dying. >Can retroactively revoke consent she had previously given and ruin a man's career, social life and potentially force severe legal repercussions on her word alone. Patriarchy!

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anon's forbidden monster energy drink | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 11/28/13(Thu)06:09:54 UTC-8 No.518448623 Replies: >>518448648 >>518448852 >>518449112 >>518452257 >>518466242 >>518469495 okay guys i'll tell the story of C-- Jar 2010. >be me in highschool few years ago >graduate in 2010 >buddies and me need to think of epic senior prank ideas >cranes arent an option >hatch mastermind plan: Cumjar 2010 >the idea is simple, get a large glass jar and fill it with the c-- of every guy in school, then pour it on the headmaster's car >Cumjar 2010 spreads like wild fire >almost every male senior who wasnt a f------ p---- knows about the plan and has agreed to pitch in >cannot gradually fill jar over the course of say a week, no place to store cumjar, need to fill it on the spot >last day of school before graduation >all the guys meet at the bathrooms hardly anyone uses (near wood workshops) >take the jar in one at a time, j-------, come out, pass jar to the next guy >looking back on it now that was probably the gayest s--- i've ever done >three original masterminds (me and two friends) behind cumjar 2010 go last >cumjar is about 4/5 filled up with c-- >realize we have to carry a jar of c-- across the school from the bathroom we were at, over to the staff carpark >fuckthat.jpg >leave the school and take the street >long way around >find target car >pour c-- all over windscreen, doors, into every crack and crevace >c-- sets like icing on cake >leave the crime scene, destroy evidence >mfw the school knew exactly what happened, even the fact there was a jar involved >mfw we don't rat eachother out >mfw they don't know who was the mastermind >mfw they cant punish all of us >C-- Jar 2010

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Anon worries about this world | /r/Greentext

>out for a drive >see someone texting while driving >enragement.exe >roll down my window >throw my beer at her f--- irresponsible drivers. the world is f------ doomed.

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Anons life is unfair. | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 04/11/21(Sun)07:27:41 No.63157818 662 KB PNG When did you realize that life was rigged against you? I'll start: >was quiet in high school, always tried to mind my own business even if it would be considered rude (e.g. wouldn't respond to people even if they called me by name), always kept my head down and made sure to walk a little fast in between classes >eventually rumor starts that i'm retarded and a future school shooter or some other s--- >spread around the school quickly since we didn't have much other drama >eventually get called into counselor's office one day >she tells me that i need to undergo a mandatory psychological evaluation to "make sure that you and others" are safe >ended up getting diagnosed with the tism at f------ 16 years old >assholes somehow couldn't keep it confidential either, so everyone knew >got treated like an ape until graduation, girls would speak to me in baby voices even though i was intelligent enough to be in advanced classes

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Anon mogs, do you? | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous 09/04/22(Sun)13:55:47 No.68213856 pp,504x498-pad,600x600,f8f8f8.jpg 34 KB JPG >at the petrol station >guy across from me neckmogs but I heightmog that wristlet >feels kinda bad, make a mental note to start neckcurling >his gf comes out of the car >9/10 easily outlooksmaxxed him >must have socialmaxxed >upon closer inspection she's actually a 8/10 makeupfraudmaxxstress >feel a little better >on the way to the cashier a terrier barks at me >flinch but realize I speciesmog, get f----- you little s--- >F150 truckmogs me as I leave Are we just on this earth to mog and cope?

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Anon trusts his therapist | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat)20:16:17 No.611013843 >>611013994 >>611014037 >>611014043 >>611014050 >>611014275 >>611014286 >>611014420 >>611014524 >>611014579 >>611014585 >>611014670 >>611014680 >>611014962 >>611015493 >>611016953 >>611017093 >>611017276 >>611017473 >>611017512 >>611017571 >>611017770 >>611017941 File: 1647440159317.png (2.2 MB, 1086x1245) I told my therapist that I am a p-------- two days ago. Everyone has been telling me I'm f----- and that I'm going to end up on the sex offender registry. My therapist is referring me to a sex offender therapist as well. How f----- am I for real? Anonymous 09/03/22 (Sat)20:18:36 No.611013994 ► >>611014034 >>611013843 Did you LITERALLY say the words "I am a p--------" or something along the lines of "I am attracted to 13 year-old girls"? Anonymous 09/03/22(Sat)20:19:07 No.611014034 ► >>611014145 >>611013994 I told him I am attracted to young children, yes.

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Anon summarizes the mac experience | /r/Greentext

22m (9/3 23:18). 88426676 1 Re. 0 Img.PNG 307KB (480 × 454) 1 Reply >be me >reached to customer support because the software and hardware for my audio interface is buggy >customer support agent asks for system report for my mac how safe is this? 20m (9/3 23:19). 88426693 >>88426676 (OP) 101%. because it just works ●●● :

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Anon meets pentesters | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/22/22(Sun)05:51:56 No.87039295 >Be software engineer >Constantly find new, serious vulnerabilities in our system, it's a miracle if we haven't been breached already >Report them, silence >Head of security, a middle-aged fat woman with LOTR teams background, decides to commision a pentest of the systems 58 KB JPG >In the initial meeting, the pentesters ask what they should test >Head of security obviously doesn't know anything about the architecture about the system and just tells them to go crazy and "may the force be with you" >In the final report the pentesters basically just tells us to stop using default credentials in a test environment Is this really what's been hyped up for years? Feels like a racket just to benefit non-technical heads of security and pentesters.

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Anon is tried of being a comfort pillow | /r/Greentext

: Anonymous I hate women 115 KB JPG 02/11/22 (Fri) 17:29:17 No.67388393 >older sister calls me >older sister constantly cries about being f----- and dumped by chads on dating apps >younger sister calls me >younger sister constantly vents to me about boys she has a crush on >mom calls me >mom constantly cries to me about my dad >when I tell them "you are being annoying" they start crying harder and blaming me for being a horrible person >suddenly I am the bad guy >dad calls me >dad is the only one that asks me how I am doing

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anon needs to move tf out | /r/Greentext

Anonymous 05/21/16(Sat) 18:04:13 No.28720917 >mom recently bought a UV light to detect cumstains in my underwear and socks >can't fap into the shower because that would clog it >can only acquire tissues through mom, not allowed packs of my own 164 KB PNG >mom carefully documents each tissue I use in an excel table, and for what purpose I'm 22 btw. What the f--- do I do?

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